5 Days in August
There are exactly five odd aspects of Severus’ life, with the only common attribute being the time they took place.
Four of them he considers a tragedy. The last one remains a mystery he has yet to understand.
All the same, it starts in August.
5
In the summer of 1969, Severus escapes his house before the sun rises, arms full with heavy books with thick binds. Despite the season, there is a certain chill that hangs in the air, haunting the skin that’s exposed to the wind.
Severus doesn’t go back to get a jacket. Mostly, he lies to himself, it’s too late now.
Mostly he’d rather not go back at all.
Cokeworth is, unironically, is not worth much in Severus’ eyes, but if there is one thing he’s thankful to have, is that behind the rows of houses beneath a veil of thick smoke, there is some peace. Where, if one crosse the brick borders of the lines of houses, led to a clearing Severus learned to place his solace.
Other kids come here, of course. Mostly to play, they lie. Mostly to bother Severus, as though there’s something remarkably freakish about him.
There isn’t, Severus lies. There isn’t.
This one memory comes as the sun leaves. Pulling its rays harshly from the sky, an abandon dance while Severus has to walk back home, more than half of the books already done.
This one memory comes when he meets Lily, the sky a murky grey growing dull and they stare at each other for a long time, as though they this is how its meant to be.
“Are you alright?” asks Lily, and even years later, when Severus thinks about it in the depth of the night, he shakes his head, because he wouln’t shake it back then.
No. He really wasn’t alright.
4
Hogwarts, for all its glory, isn’t worth much either.
Dumbledore was a man Severus belived he would admire. Dumbledore was strong, Dumbledore was bloody amazing.
And Dumbledore, for all its glory, wasn’t worth much either, as Severus learns once again before the end of the first year.
“I don’t want to go back.”
“Mr Snape, no student is allowed to stay at Hogwarts in the summer.”
“I don’t want to go back. Please, I-” Severus bites the inside of his cheek, fumbles with his hands, and doesn’t care if he breaks Slytherin decorum, “Please don’t send me back.”
Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle, as they often do, as he smiles, and pulls out a bowl.
“Lemon Drop?”
That August, Dumbledore comes for a visit.
Severus expects its for him, and unapologetically, a grin does form on his lips. Hope does spread warm in his chest and he does rampage down the stairs, not caring for what his mother might say and throws himself out the backdoor.
Dumbledore smiles, and pats his shoulder.
“Good morning, Mr Snape. All well, I presume? Would you please direct me to Ms Lily’s home? I’m afraid I must have missed the Apparation address.”
Severus is numb as he leads him to the Evans. Numb as he receives a glare each from the family, except for Lily, and numb as Lily tells him that Dumbledore came to kindly ask Petunia to send the letters.
It’s because of the shock, Severus lies, and stops thinking of it right there.
3
The summer after fifth year, Severus wants to grow bold. Well, bold or stupid. There isn’t many lines to seperate them, these days. Perhaps there never were.
He fights with Lily in the compartment, because Severus had to admit that he was tired, so very tired to put up with Potter’s and Black’s bullying. Because Severus had to admit that the way things were going, he’d rather sit with Slytherin that put up with this at all. Lily leaves, slamming the door behind her after calling Severus selfish.
Selfish.
She’s lying, Severus tells himself, and continues to tell himself as the train passes his station and pulls into King’s Cross, as he treads the platform after everyone leaves, as he steps out the station and into the streets of London.
She’s lying, but Severus can’t bring himself to believe it.
He does find work for the summer, fortunatly, with a war vetran who can’t look after himself, least the people around him, but offers Severus a roof over his head and two meals a day if he helps him through the summer.
Severus agrees, though its not much, and learns nothing from the man until its time to leave.
“Careful, young man. Who your mind, heart and money lingers with is that you love.”
Severus forgets the words as soon as he’s back in the Hogwarts Express, alone, and Lily cames barging in, a smile on her face.
“Hey,” she smiles, siting beside him, “How was your summer? I din’t see you much.”
Severus doesn’t think he’s grown bold at all.
2
The summer after his sixth has to be the worst.
Lily is gone.
Eileen is dead.
Severus almost died.
Tobias kicks him out the the minute Severus blocks his belt.
Severus leaves, no trunk, only wand, and finds his way in the house of two fellow Slytherins, who open the door with much surprise, “Severus?”
“Narcissa, Lucius,” Severus says, his hair and clothes wet from the rain, “I need your help.”
1
August 1980 and Severus agrees to Dumbledore’s wishes.
August 1980, and Severus trusts Dumbledore.
October 31, 1981, and Voldemort is gone.
And inside, beside a crying child, so is Lily. Crumpled in a heap, empty eyed.
There isn’t any words to escribe grief.
Severus lives through it, all the same. He cries as the boy cries behind him, screams and the boy screams alongside him. And when no amount of tears bring Lily back, Severus stands, whips his wand out and is about to hex the boy when he notices the eyes.
The hand falters. With a gasp, Severus pockets his wand, fingers pinching his nose because he was just about to hex Harry Potter. Harry Potter.
There is a sound from downstairs. Shouts and a crashing door, and before Severus can think, he’s scooped the boy in his arms and soon enough, somewhere far, far away.
0
There are exactly five odd aspects of Severus’ life, with the only common attribute being the time they took place.
Four of them he considers a tragedy. The last one remains a mystery he has yet to understand.
They’re not necessarily in that order.