My eyes never leave her, it's a simple sight. She leans over the hotel bathroom sink, scrubbing the underside of her nails, scrubbing away the blood spilled and caked her nails, reminding her and I both of what was lost just so we were able to get a hotel tonight, right out of the games, unsure of it all.
Maybe she was handling it better than I was, maybe it was her experience as sergeant in the forces that made this all sting a little less, or maybe she was better at hiding it.
I still feel it, I still see everyone each time I close my eyes,the warmth of blood splatter against my face, I feel the ache. It's dull and distant in my mind, but the pain in my chest is anything but dull, ever present.
After they tossed us on a ghosted street, the money comes later but there was something, something unspoken yet so painfully understood between us both.
So we did two things, checked into a hotel one queen sized bed, and we found ourselves in the gift shop adjacent to the lobby throwing overpriced tourist merch onto the counter, sweatpants, oversized I heart t-shirts.
Now we're here, I sit clad in my set of sweatpants and a shirt that hangs just above my knees, laying on my stomach propping my head up on my hands. I watch her, unblinking, unsure of what to say, how to console her, how to console myself. So we've not said a thing to each other this entire night, the silence wasn't uncomfortable, no, but I could feel the tension. Finally, she turns to me, drying her hands before handing the towel to dry. She meets my gaze, sweeping her hair behind her ear, other hand messing with her earring. I can't help but smile when I look her over, she looks cute in her baggy sweatpants and t shirt 5 times too big for her. She hasn't moved, this felt different, this wasn't those stolen kisses in washroom when nobody was around, or finding a way to crawl into her bunk at night when the guards weren't around.
This was something that felt fifteen times more intimate.
I sit up, beckoning her forward with the soft murmur of my voice. "C'mere," I say, scooting back into the headboard, patting the plush of my thighs silently inviting her to lay against me, she doesn't waste a second, getting on the bed, stopping just before me to allow her eyes to roam over my face, looking for something, though I'm not quite sure what that may be; she crawls to lay against my lap, my hands find solace in her hair. She was sure to dry it, her bangs too. Its soft between my fingers, she shivers.
"I didn't think I would make it out of there with you," I lower my eyes to her face, lifting my hand from her hair when she turns to lay flat in my lap, looking up at me, my fingers find refuge dancing across her cheek, over her brow bone, across the swell of her lips. "I was so afraid." I whisper with a sad smile, I love the way her eyes search mine, so pretty.
"I know," she finally says back, leaning into my touch, cupping her hands over mine, her nail polish is chipped, I remind myself to fix them for her later. "but we're here now, that's all that matters."
I nod. "You're right."
We settle into another silence, eyes stuck on the others, roamining, longing. I shift, I feel constricted, a burning in the pit of my belly, I bite my lip.
Had it always been this warm?
She swallows thickly, furrowing her eyebrows, with this yearning doe eyed look, I interlock the fingers joined together on her face, resting our joined tangle of fingers against her belly, she wouldn't make a move, I knew she wouldn't, but her eyes are pleading, no, her eyes are begging and ever so needy.
"Hyun?"
She doesn't respond at first, lost, desperate, frozen.
"Hyun," I say again, leaning down a bit, just enough to where I could feel her breath brush over my face, mint toothpaste.
"Y-Yeah?"
Something akin to a smile falls onto my face, "You don't get how pretty you are."
Her breath catches in her throat. "I..You don't have to—"
I drag my thumb over her lips, it shuts her up, her eyes steady, but I can feel how hard her heart pounds through our interlocked fingers and her lack of breathing. "These eyes, your lips, they are so soft, y'know? I don't think i've ever felt safer than with my lips against yours, you're such an angel, just as perfect as one too,"
I pause, trying to find the right words, my eyes shift over her, her want just as apparent as mine, though when I land on her face once again I see a hint of something, uncertainty. "I want to forget about what happened, even if it's just for tonight.."
"I don't want to be alone." She whispers, her free hand lifting from where it sat, her fingers ghost over my cheeks, her breathing heavy, breaths bated.
"Don't worry...I won't ever leave you alone again—never, I promise." I press my cheek into her hand.
"Help me forget, even if it's just for tonight then." She whispers, slow, nervous.
Before I know it i'm tugging her up, pulling her over my lap, she's more than willing, till I try to pull her flush against my thighs.
"You don't want to...switch?"
I give her a look. "No, sit down." Tugging her hips down, I shift, we're chest to chest, she cups my face, I take the liberty of connecting our lips. It's slow, painstakingly so, I grip her waist.
A soft noise sounds out of her throat, something between a whimper and a sigh. I pull away, pressing my lips into her neck, nipping the supple skin, sucking a line of bruises from her pulse point, to just below her collar bone. She's putty in my hands, willing, pliant. Her weight against me comfortable, her warmth addicting.
"Let me hear you baby, I want to know you feel good."
"Please," She whimpers when I press a final kiss to her neck.
"Please what Hyunju? Show me how much you want me pretty girl." I say breathless, pulling back to admire my work over her skin.
Without a second thought, she's tugging her shirt over her head, I let out a shaky exhale when my eyes fall on her chest, she's braless, I peer at her through my lashes, I can tell she's fighting to not cover herself.
"You're so sexy," I breathe out. "Can I?" I trail my fingers up her sides, she giggles breathlessly, worries falling away. She nods and instantly I'm kneading her chest, dragging the pads of my thumbs over the swell of her nipples, I lean down, taking one into my mouth.
My senses are so full of her, her only. How soft her skin is, how good she tastes. How responsive she is, her fingers digging into my hair, lips parted as she moans, as she whines. Pleading wordlessly for something I couldn't wait to give her.
My sweats feel like fire against my skin, I can feel her own want pressed against my stomach, I smile, rolling her nipple gently between my teeth, she digs her nails into my shirt, nothing falling from her lips but shameless moans, soft cries of my name.
When I decide she's had enough I pull back, admiring her in all her glory. Neck littered in bruises of my own doing, chest heavy and heaving, nipples straining against nothing. She's already sweating when I look at her, bangs sticking to her forehead, cheeks red. She really does have perfect tits. She looks at me, waiting, wanting, so cute.
I push her back gently, letting her fall back onto the mattress, kneeling between her parted thighs, she props herself on her elbows, watching me tug my shirt, bra following, I shift positions, pretending not to notices how her breath hitches at the sight of me shedding my layers, as I tug off my sweats and panties, throwing them off the edge of the bed. I move to straddle her hips, purposely pressing against where she needs me the most.
I part my lips to speak, but before I can get a word out, before I can blink, she has me laid out on my back, the air knocked out of me, I look at her above me with wide eyes.
She captures my lips, her hands resting on the swell of my chest, dragging down my sides, squeezing my hips, she pulls back, I'm still speechless, I didn't expect this out of her.
Without a word she tugs and kicks her sweatpants and panties off, I let out a shaky breath my eyes never leaving hers. Her eyes are heavy, low, the burn into me, I'm sure my stare holds the same intensity because she lets out a soft groan.
"I want you," I whisper, she presses my legs open as far as they can go, I run my tongue down my hand, watching her lips part, I drag it between us, running it over her, once, then twice, and a third, watching her struggle to hold herself up with shaky sighs, I align her with me, feeling her sheath herself within me bit by bit. I swallow my moan, letting my mouth fall open in a silent moan, electricity running through me.
"Hyun," I cry, she's so focused, taking her pleasure, her lips parted. She's so whiny, moaning, watching my body move beneath her, a woman deprived, getting her fix. She feels like heaven, I reach up, palming her tits as she ruts into me. "I'm supposed to be in charge," I moan out. "taking care of you." I give her chest a rough squeeze, she leans down, her face before mine. I can see every contort of her face, feel the reverb of every moan, I give back what I give. The sound of our need fills the room along with our moans, call and response. A symphony.
I drag my thumb to circle her parted lips, pushing my thumb past them, I smile dopey passed my breath, sucking in air, moaning, groaning when she wraps her lips around my thumb.
"You're such a good girl," I moan, pressing my head back into the mattress, "Fuck—you feel so good,"
She whimpers, her hips stuttering to my own, wet, sloppy. I pull my thumb from her, running my hands down her neck. She presses her face into my shoulder, crying out into. "Please, please." she begs.
"Lay on your back." I whisper in her ear, she doesn't want to move, I push her up, flipping so I'm on top.
I sink down, hips flush against hers, I lean forward to tweak her nipples, she's shaking under me. "I'm so close," she whines out.
The friction is delicious, she holds onto my wrists. "Come for me Hyun-Ju, be a good girl and give it to me" I moan out, rutting against her sucking a breath before snapping, my vision goes black, I don't know what I sound like when I cum but it's enough that when I fall against her chest, she rests her hands on the curve of my spin, still pushing into me. With a final tweak of her nipple she falls over edge, she lets out this high pitched moan, I hug my arms around her head, hers limply over my back. Our heavy breaths blend together.
After a few minutes we pull apart, I lay next to her, pressing a kiss to both cheeks, her forehead, then the plush softness of her lips.
"I love you." I say cupping her cheek. "So much Hyun-Ju,"
She looks at me with this heaviness, eyes welling with tears, she cuddles into me, I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her close as she cries into me.
"Are you okay?" I ask softly.
She nods into me.
"I want you for as long as I can have you,"
"You have me forever."
She peeks out at me, with these pretty wet eyelashes. "Forever...I...I like the sound of that." I give her a smile.
"I love you too." she whispers.