Borgias' Twice Upon A Time - Borgias
Lucrezia Borgia had never been so lonely on Christmas. It was the first since Cesare had died. The first Christmas without the one person she loved most in all creation. All day, she went through the motions of life as she had every day since they brought her the news, Micheletto her constant shadow. There was so much she wished she could change, so much she now knew she could do better than she had. And as she lay herself to rest that night, she prayed, hoping beyond hope that Cesare was wrong, that there was a God who cared. Let me do better. Let him live.
Lucrezia sat up in bed. Her breath was laboured, her heart beat fast in her ears. Blinking, she looked around, took in the room. These were not her bedchambers in Ferrara. This was her childhood room. Her mother's villa in Rome. How could that be? She jumped out of bed and startled again. Her body! This was not the body of a woman and many-times mother. This body held none of the marks of her life. This body was all silky skin, untouched by any hand, breasts still growing. This was a child's body. How could this be?
Lucrezia wished she could go to Cesare with this, seek refuge in her brother's arms and advise from his keen mind. He might not know what had happened but he'd help her find out. And he'd keep her safe while they figured it out.
But… if this was her childhood bedroom and her childhood body… if she was once again a girl in her mother's house… Her brother was here. She could go to him for help. At the very least for comfort.
Her brother had company. She could hear them when she came to his door. Though she wasn't sure why, something compelled her to steal to the window and spy on them. Maybe she just needed to see Cesare, to assure herself he was there, alive and well.
And well he was. Cesare was younger than when she saw him last. Not the battle-hardened commander, veteran of a thousand fights on and off the battlefield, politician. This was Cesare as he had been when she was a girl on the cusp of womanhood. Lighter, less weighed down by the world and yet heavily shackled by the clerical robes he now donned. Lucrezia appreciated the sight of her brother's body as he dressed. So many of his scars were gone - or not yet there? She must have made a noise, for Cesare suddenly looked to the window. Then, with her name on his lips he hurried out of the door to catch her.
She realised now why it all felt so terribly familiar. She had lived this before. This was the morning of Pope Innocent's death. The last day everything was right, even though she hadn't known that back then. And if she was truly living her past, then… maybe, just maybe… she might change what happened. She might preserve what happiness she could. Maybe God did exist after all. Maybe he had answered her prayer. Maybe they were given another chance. This time, she was no frightened girl adrift in the storm that was life. This time she would do better. And Cesare would live. She'd make sure of that.
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Cesare Borgia would not make it to Lucrezia for Christmas. It would be the first promise to her he ever broke. But there was no helping it. He would never make it anywhere again. Before the sun would set he'd be dead in his own blood. If he could go back in time, he'd do better. He'd protect her better. And as he lay dying, he had but one wish. Let me do better. Let me keep my promise.
When Cesare awoke, he was disoriented. He had not expected to wake at all. And yet, this was not heaven nor hell. If it were heaven, he would not feel another body pressed against him. Lucrezia was still alive, after all. But neither did he believe this was hell. There was no torment. Nothing hurt. He was lying on a soft bed. Finally, he opened his eyes. This room… he knew this room! This was his mother's Roman villa. How could this be? He looked down at the body pressed against his. He could not recall whoever the woman was. But he well remembered the last time he had woken in his mother's villa with a woman in his bed, years and years ago. That had been the day Innocent VIII. died. The day that had marked the beginning of the end. He went through the familiar motions. Get out of bed, tell whoever-she-is how to get out discreetly, dress, deflect questions… A noise by the window made him look up. "Lucrezia" her name had left his lips before he could stop it. His sister had been spying on him that day. A grin spread on his lips as he chased Lucrezia through the courtyard. She was so young right now. He was so young right now. This was the day Innocent died. More than ten years in the past from the day he lay dying on that battlefield.
Cesare didn't know how this was possible and he wasn't sure he cared. But this was a new chance. And this time, he wouldn't fail. This time he would do better. This time, he would keep his promise to Lucrezia. To you, I'll always return, my love.