It Isn't a Scar, Yet
It Isn't a Scar, Yet
Curtis Butchers
Three Days Later
Noon
Yuery and William were sitting in highchairs, with Winry on one side of them and Edward on the other side at the small kitchen table, while everyone else sat at the larger dining room table eating lunch. "I feel like there could be a 'kids table' complaint here, but they are just trying to give us time to ourselves." Winry said. Ed's face turned red and she fully expected a rant, but he calmed a moment later without saying anything.
"I think… maybe…I think you should take some time. Decide if being a part of my mess, being a possible target in the future is something you're okay with." Ed said quietly as he spooned potatoes into William's mouth and Yuery smeared some into his own hair.
"Are you breaking up with me Edward?" Winry asked, forcibly holding back tears.
"No. I'm not strong enough or brave enough to. I need you to be part of my life, but it has to be on your terms. You have to take some time, step back, and then decide. I asked you on impulse, and almost from the moment I did everything has been absolute disaster! I got Rose killed Winry, just by doing my job! A job I can't just walk away from no matter how hard I try. I'm terrified I'm going to get you killed too."
"I'm not going to die on you Ed." Winry said quietly. "I already survived more than most civilians and will keep doing so."
"That's my point!" Ed yelled angrily "Look at everything I have already put you through and we weren't even a couple, as soon as word gets out…word already got out. I put it out there. I might as well have killed her myself and I painted a major target on you by buying that ring. My children… you…Al. All I ever do is throw you into danger."
"Daddy, no." Yuery said seriously from his chair. "Daddy, don't cry, is okay."
"Thank you, Buddy." Ed said with a sniff and rubbed his son's hair. "Winry, I want nothing more than to walk out on this conversation but- "
"We'll talk later Ed." Winry said will a sniffled of her own. "Come on Yuery, let's get you washed up." Winry picked up the boy and walked out of the room, as Ed put his head on the table and groaned. That had come out wrong. He wasn't trying to break up with her. The mere idea of not being with her upset him. He just wanted to ask her if she understood how dangerous their lives were going to be. He ruined the entire conversation before he'd gotten to the point though and now, she was upset with him.
He would wait for a bit and then go hunt her down to try again, preferably while the boys were occupied because he didn't want his sons to see them fight anymore than he wanted to see them walking away from them. Before he could continue down that line of self-doubt something mildly warm and squishy hit the back of his head, reminding him that his younger son was still waiting to finish his lunch…which was now wedged in Ed's hair.
Ed lifted his head to look at the now potato covered infant. "Did you have to do that to Daddy?' He grumbled.
"Da!" Will responded slapping the bowl and sending potatoes right into Ed's face.
"I guess you did then." Ed said with a sigh as he stood to retrieve a washcloth and clean up the mess made by his younger son. He heard the snickers from the doorway and turned to see his Dad standing there.
"I'll clean him up. I laughed, it's my job." Roy said, when Ed glared. He had heard the whole argument, everyone in the dining room had, and decided it would be best to give Ed a break. The others had all already left the house suddenly remembering a very urgent trip to the market. Roy had stayed behind to mind the children.
Ed wandered upstairs to wash his hair and Roy cleaned up the kitchen and bathed the baby before Winry came back down with Yuery. She looked around for Ed knowing full well he wouldn't go anywhere without his kids and not say anything. "Here, I'll take Yu, Ed went to go wash his hair. GO talk to him, I think you should hear him out before reacting, and if he's being stupid then tear into him, but Ed doesn't respond well to being pushed, you know that as well. I can't imagine him leaving you Winry, I think he's just reacting to everything that's happened."
"He better not be dumping me because of all this or I'm intentionally making his next leg too short." Winry said angrily.
"Just go talk to him." Roy said. "I have the boys under control, don't I?"
"Yeye, walk pease?" Yuery said in response.
"Of course, we can go for a walk, here let's go get Will's sling. Shall we go look at the ducks again?'
"DUCKS" Yuery yelled excitedly as he attempted to shove on his own shoes.
Winry took a deep breath and went back up the stairs to hunt down her fiancé. She found Ed face down on his pillow, hair still wet and clingy. "You better have dried your automail Edward." She said automatically.
Ed waved a hand without lifting his head in a manner that seemed to agree that he had. She still frowned, it wasn't good for him to fall asleep with wet hair, he could catch a cold, or introduce mold to his pillow. Plus, he should get dressed in more than just his boxers it was the middle of the day even if he was napping. "We need to talk about what happened downstairs." Winry said and Ed just muttered into his pillow. She rolled her eyes. "Look Ed, I know you're not okay right now. I know you're blaming yourself, even though it isn't your fault. I know you're scared I'm going to end up hurt, but I know the dangers Ed. I know better than most. Don't forget I've seen it all Ed. I lost my parents because bad people made bad choices. I watched my best friend get torn apart time and again because he has to always try to help. I've seen the same haunted look in your brother's eyes, and your Dad's I know. I know that there is no way to stop being hurt by all these things and if you tried to walk away they would follow you because it's who you are…but if I walked away they would still use me against you Ed. I know that too. So why not be happy when we can?"
"You make it sound so easy Win." Ed said.
"It's not easy. Nothing about this is easy. But it is our lives. I want to spend it with you. I know the risks. I know there's a good chance that at some point or another I'll be used against you again. I'm willing to take the risk to have today with you and those boys." Winry said and he hugged her.
"I need one promise from you Winry." Ed said as he held her close, and she nodded. "The next time I tell you to take the kids and run, I need you to do it. Don't ask questions. Don't argue. Just do it. That's what I need from you."
"Okay." Winry said.
Park
Roy met with the others who had bought the groceries and were on their way back when they saw him with the boys. He waived, and said when they were close enough "We're giving Mommy and Daddy a chance to talk it out by watching the ducks right Yuery?"
"Ducks! Over dere Yeye." Yuery said pointing to the small pond.
"What a wonderful idea, I believe I shall watch the ducks as well," Riza replied and fell into step with Roy. Al and Mei smiled, and insisted they needed to sit for awhile under one of the trees. Izumi sighed and informed Sig they needed to go check on Mason at the shop.
Riza took Yuery's hand and led him right to the water so he could see the ducks. He squealed happily at them as he tugged at her hand and said "Ducks Nainia!"
"Yes Yu, ducks- What did you say?" Riza said wide eyed.
"I hope you don't mind, I taught it to him. It means Grandma." Roy said.
"No, that's fine. I mean, I like it." Riza said with a small smile.
"Oh good, because I already taught him to say it…and Will." Roy said. Will couldn't prove that one way or the other at the moment as he was firmly asleep.
"Do you think the house will be standing when we return?" Riza asked.
"I think everything will have returned to normal by the time we return. Winry is his Queen." Roy replied. Riza nodded, one of the few people who understood what that really meant.
Hogwarts
Headmaster's Office
Early Evening
Snape walked calmly into the room, as he had every evening since his return. Dumbledore barely looked up as Snape, with a flick of his wrist, stole yet another bottle of Fire whiskey from him. "Pull yourself together, or step down. You said yourself the war is not over, that the Dark Lord is bidding his time before his return. We need a leader not a drunk."
"I gave you a year Severus, you could at least give me a week." Dumbledore said.
"I am not the leader of shit." Snape said coldly. "I also loved her deeply."
"How do you know I didn't love him?" Dumbledore said before going quiet. Until this moment he had insisted that it was simply a dear friend who had died. Snape had doubted that to be the case, as had Minerva. She wanted to give him time, Severus wanted to try this more hands-on approach.
"This will scar. It's not a scar yet, it is still a wound. If you insist on picking at it by ignoring the pain and drowning it in whiskey it will not scar. It will fester and eat at you until there is nothing left. Let it become a scar Albus. There is no way to bring him back, whoever he was, but you can move on. Find something to fight for and hold onto the idea of it until you have healed, and then keep holding onto it because otherwise you are failing their memory." Severus said. "If you can't do this, then you will let it fester and rot until all you are left with is anger and grief."
"You've been talking to the owner of the Hogshead. I recognize that speech." Albus said.
"Who do you think got me sober? You? He's got a lot of pain he carries, but it's scars, not wounds."
"He's my brother." Albus said quietly.
"I know." Severus replied. "We talk about how much we hate you all the time."
Dumbledore laughed at this, actually laughed. Snape was pleased to see the man was sober for a change. He then decided this might be a good time to bring up something Dumbledore had said the other day. "So, you hate his wife you said?"
"She had more. Had more time with him. He gave her part of him he never shared with anyone else. Never would." Dumbledore said in reply. "I think he must love her."
"So why did he keep coming back to you?"
"I have no idea."
"Tomorrow. Tomorrow you will be Professor Albus Dumbledore, unshakable leader of Hogwarts, and Order of the Phoenix. For tonight, we do not drink alone."
Central Headquarters
Early Morning
Heidrich ran the office with an efficiency that would please Hawkeye. Every form and file that could be handled without the General's signature directly was carried out. The pile awaiting the General's return was comparatively small, and anything too urgent to wait for him was passed over to General Armstrong or the Fuhrer. It had been agreed upon that this was the best course of action. Havoc ran Colonel Elric's office in the same manner impressing everyone who knew the man. He had always riveled Mustang in his ability to procrastinate.
New Generals would need to be promoted soon of course, at the moment there were only two and one of them was officially on bereavement leave. The military could not continue to function in such a manner, they needed a new council of twelve the Fuhrer could trust.
Unfortunately, so far, the list they had come up with contained Colonel Alex Armstrong, Colonel Edward Elric, General Roy Mustang, and General Olivier Armstrong. No one felt Edward was ready for the promotion yet, even without his own bereavement leave. Mustang was slotted to be named officially Lt. Fuhrer when he returned, which left the Armstrongs. The Armstrongs were not a problem in themselves, it was more that they needed more. Still, Alex's promotion ceremony was scheduled, and the search continued for both traitors and future Generals.
Some promotions from within the offices of Mustang, Elric, Armstrong and Armstrong were possible. All of their officers had been vetted. The idea of thinning the offices with promotions was unappealing, however it may come to it.
General Armstrong had suggested a promotion for her adjutant, Colonel Miles, which would remove him from her office so would be a personal loss on her part, but on the other hand would help Ishbalan/Amestrian relations. Likewise, Hawkeye was being considered, if Mustang was to be promoted to the second highest spot in the land, then Hawkeye sitting on the council of twelve would go a long way toward making things safer. That still left six slots. Six slots that Grumman wanted filled before Mustang and Elric returned.
He took to sweeping through the files that had been presented to him after being cleared from suspect of corruption. Somewhere in these lists there had to be six more worthy of the slots. Time and again, he came back to Elric, but the fact remained, that for all his strength and good will, he was still only sixteen.
In the end, he found his council. Olivier Armstrong, Alex Armstrong, Abraham Miles, Riza Hawkeye, Karl Heidrich, Malcolm Fritz, Amos Faulker, Matthew Jameson, Agatha Brittle, Sofia Aper, Marjorie Braun, and Taylor Grunt would all be officially sworn in at the beginning of the week. When Roy Mustang returned, he would be named officially Lt. Fuhrer, and Edward Elric would be taking over his duties running the state alchemist program. His own promoted would wait at least until after his birthday, for the Fuhrer's conscience if nothing else.
The wounds the pocketed their lands needed time to heal, and though Edward had done a great deal to help them, he was young, with a young family, and had already more than paid his pound of flesh. It was time to let the boy rest for now. Before anything else was taken from him. Edward had made one request directly and discretely when he took his office. Release the moratorium on magic users.
Grumman had done just that, but he could not and would not make them public knowledge. Not yet. To many changes had already befallen their people this year, another major event could destabilize the country. Instead, like most of the world, they would currently remain secret. Only for a little longer. Xing and Amestris had signed the treaty that included the creation of the school.
Rebuilding of Xerxes would begin next year, and considering the ones in control of the rebuilding it wouldn't take long at all, and at that point they would have to announce the existence of magic, along with several other thing that so far had remained hidden. Grumman was not looking forward to all of it. Some days he thought seriously and longingly about a near future when he would hand over the reins to his future grandson-in-law.
With that in mind, he was also seriously considering naming the country a monarchy, but he would need to talk to the others first. He had agreed after all to not make any major decisions about the country without them. He was officially the leader, and in daily practice he was the leader, but he was merely holding the place until Mustang was ready to take over, and most of the people close to the situation knew it.
Grumman decided he was done for the day, despite it still being early, and a pile of paperwork awaiting him, because he was suddenly very much feeling his age. He worried sometimes, that he wasn't going to be able to stick it out long enough to stick to the timeline. He needed to hold on long enough for Mustang to return, but wanted to hold on long enough for Mustang to lead the Ishbalan restoration efforts, which would begin as soon as he returned from his leave and they officially promoted him.
He had agreed, and still agreed, that during the time Mustang was out East, Armstrong would be in charge of the labs and state alchemist program so that Edward would be free to join his father. Partly because things would go so much faster and smoother with Edward involved and partly because no one wanted to separate the boy from his father so soon.
Grumman signed off on this final bit of paperwork and read through the final list of arrests. It appeared Headquarters was officially and finally cleared. It was time to send for Mustang. He would given them until Monday to return, after all, it seemed tomorrow should be a good day to declare a national holiday.
Grumman packed up his things, and left the office, feeling lighter than he had a few hours before as he handed the letter to the mail clerk to be sent out immediately. It included news of Hawkeye's and Mustang's promotions and the news of the safety of their return.
Curtis Residence
Evening
Izumi, Riza, Winry, and Mei were sitting in the front room as they waited for Sig, Roy, Ed, and Al to finish cooking the dinner they promised. The women had kept the babies with them so they couldn't be used as a distraction. The pets were sitting on the hearth, a small fire lit but not blazing.
Yuery was happily playing with his blocks and attempting to show William how to stack them. Luckily, Yuery had not had as many accidents recently, whether that was because Ed was getting better at cutting off his temper or Yuery was getting better at controlling himself was unknown.
Luckily though, they were all more relaxed about it than they had been in previous months. Magic, while secret, was no longer illegal so they didn't have to worry about anyone showing up to try to take the boy. Recently, Ed had been suggesting that soon he would start teaching him the basic principles of Alchemy theory after reading Flame's books on the subject he was convinced it would help his son gain control easier.
For tonight though, they were all just enjoying themselves. Everyone was relieved that the young couple had sorted out their issues while everyone was gone, and both seemed in a much better mood.
Al and Ed were still fighting over the proper creation of biscuits, however. Sig just shook his head at the boys and continued to stir one of the pots on the stove, while Roy tried to calm them down before dough became a projectile. Ed had a handful of it and was pointing at Al angrily with his other hand, but it could still go either way.
Yuery stood from the block tower after the third time his brother knocked it over and came up to Izumi. "Nonna, make 'liam stop." He said as he pulled her to her feet.
"William, let's play something else now, shall we?" She asked the almost eleven-month-old.
"No." William responded before once again pushing over the blocks.
"I will not tolerate such rudeness." Izumi said as she scooped up the now angry infant and carried him over to plop in Winry's lap. "Here, sit with Mommy until you can behave."
Izumi then went back over and sat on the floor with Yuery instead of returning to her chair. She began helping him to restack his block tower as he had done it before.
"What's impressive is he looks for patterns already." Mei said as they all watched and Winry shushed the younger boy.
"What's impressive is he never hits his brother. He's two and he's an Elric." Winry said with a smile. "Elric's aren't known for the calm tempers."
"While this is true, William is also his brother which seemed to be an instant upgrade in the patience department for all Elrics." Riza replied.
"Well I suppose that's true too." Winry said just as Roy poked his head through the door.
"Don't let anyone fool you! They are united against the world, but those boys can and have had fist fights over the last piece of chicken. "Roy said with a smile "Of course the best way to curb that behavior is to eat the last piece yourself."
Everyone laughed in both rooms, before Roy announced that it was finally time for dinner. Yuery ignored the statement in favor of returning the last few blocks to their previous location. Izumi stood and held her arms out to the toddler to let him know it was time to quit. Yuery gave a sigh that sounded so much like Ed, that all the women turned to look at him.
"Ed! Your son is imitating you again!" Winry yelled as they went into the dining room.
"I can't help that!" Ed returned bring in a platter. "I try to get him to stop but he just keeps going with it."
"I wonder why." Al said dryly bringing in more food, followed by Roy and Sig.
"Is Mason not joining us tonight?" Mei asked as they all sat around the table.
"Mason decided to do the right thing and take some time to think. He borrowed my canoe, so I assume he will be back in about a month." Izumi said calmly. The others just nodded at this; it was for the best. It kept him out of Ed's reach until Ed calmed down enough to not actually hurt him, just enough to remind him that Ed was not one to tolerate his child being treated like that.
The wounds of loss were starting to heal, to scar over. Once Ed had been able to voice his concerns, he had seemed calmer about everything as well. He was still sad, was unlikely to stop being sad, but he was no longer as desperate. Soon, they would have to return to their lives in Central and they all knew it.
"Oh, Edward, tomorrow I was wondering if you would like to go on a small hike with me. I would greatly enjoy the company."
"…Okay. Are you feeling alright Teacher?" Ed frowned in return. She looked healthy enough, whatever HE had done to help her, at least Hohenheim had done that much.