My dearest Harry,
In light of this new information, I have found the best way to preserve my clever wit forever would be in this letter. I do hope you treasure it forever, as it will also serve as my only way to insult your clothing choices fifty years from now. Assuming, of course, you still own that horrid orange jumper. If that is the case, do my poor soul a favor and throw the ghastly thing out. Honestly, Potter, one would think my extraordinary talents would have rubbed off on you these past years.
Before you read the next lines, it would do you well to remember that I, Draco Malfoy, have not gone sappy. It just appears that my ten-year plan to mix insults with complements has been forced into one short letter. If you would please note that most of this would have been said after a comment on your awful hair or while you are half unconscious, that would be most appreciated.
Harry, my love, the years we have spent together have been the best of my life. Somehow, you have saved me from the agony of the past. Being with you has allowed me to move on from that life, to a much better one in my personal opinion. You forced me to see past the ugly, bitter world I had secluded myself in, I will always be thankful for that. For there is beauty that I had never encountered, I am proud to say that you were the one who experienced it all by my side. As I am sure you know, that makes a petty part inside of me very happy.
My love, as disgustingly cheesy as it sounds, when I think of happiness, I imagine you. I would like you to know that my entire future, I saw it with you. When you proposed to me, outside a muggle café of all places, I didn’t care what anyone said about us. I didn’t care about the press or that homophobic muggle we ran into, because I knew that you were all mine. Marrying you, well, the thought sent my heart racing, it still does, even as I sit here. Harry, my wonderful fiancé, I am deeply sorry I was unable to attend our wedding, I am certain it was the celebration of the year.
Now, as extraordinarily clever as I am, it seems your bluntness has, over time, shoved it's way into my heart. With that in mind; Harry, my sweet, innocent Harry, I would like nothing more than to rip your clothes off and have you here against this wall. Not only would I be able to admire your incredible body but I would also rest easy knowing that you were, for once, not wearing anything so dreadful it would make my eyes burn. You are a very sexy man, darling, why you constantly choose to hide that fact behind your awful wardrobe is beyond me.
In all seriousness, I would like you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that our time together was cut short. And I need you to understand that I am yours in every way. Harry Potter, my love, my fiancé, I love you with my entire heart. It is because I love you so dearly that I must tell you; I need you to move on from this, from me. I want you to be happy. And I thought that I would be the one to make you happy, to stay by your side for the rest of our lives, as your husband. It devastates me to say that I can’t. I’m sorry that I have to leave you. But, when I imagined our future, I saw our friends around us, I heard bad jokes at lazy Christmas parties and tasted the rubbish beer at the bar down the street. We were always surrounded by the people that loved us. That life is what I wanted. My darling, please live that life for both of us. Fill your days with laughter and love and as many Weasleys as possible.
I wish I could write more. I do, truly, but his letter has taken me nearly two weeks to write up to this point. My brain, unfortunately, doesn't work quite as well as I’m used to, I’m afraid. Nevertheless, I’ve pushed through, because there is an endless list of things I wished to tell you. I can only hope that you will see the meanings between my words as I’ve been unable to write them all.
My healer has been telling me to stop writing for the past hour, something about straining myself, but you know me better than that Harry. I’ve never quite been able to follow the rules when it concerns you. Smooth out that pinch in your brow, I’ll stop soon, I promise, but there is one last thing I’d like to tell you.
It’s not your fault. You blame yourself for so many things that are out of your control. Don’t pretend otherwise. I know you, sometimes I think I know you better than I know myself and no matter how much I’ve tried to convince myself you won’t, I know deep down that you will. Because that is who you are. You are brave and stubborn. Kind and loyal, and so incredibly selfless it would make me sick if I weren't so completely in love with every part of you.
This was unexpected, there was nothing anyone could have done, Harry. Please don’t blame yourself for any of this. Especially, not your absence this last month. It was not your fault that you were assigned a radio silent mission and it was not your fault that no one could contact you. It is not your fault. I’ve thought that maybe the knowledge that I thought of you every day this last month will sooth you. I thought of you and I smiled. All because I know that you love me as I love you. That was all I needed Harry, to make this situation bearable, to know you were mine as much as I was yours. Even by not being here, I know you were with me every step, and I will always thank you for that.
I know that none of what I’ve said will stop your feeling of guilt, and I understand. It will take time. I know that, but for both our sakes, I need to hope that one day you will think of me and feel no guilt. I wish for you to only remember me with love in your heart and peace of mind. I want to know that the memory of me does not bring you any pain. Because I’ve never wanted to be the source of your pain. Even when we were young and I was nothing more than a pain in your arse, I never wanted to cause you harm. But you know that of course.
I must stop writing now, I’m nearly out of parchment and my healer has begun to glare. In truth, my head really has started to hurt. Nothing I can’t handle of course.
I hope to see you soon, but many are not optimistic about that possibility. Nevertheless, I will hold out on that hope. I think that is a trait I’ve gained from you. Good bye, darling.
I will love you forever, Harry Potter.
Eternally yours,
Draco Malfoy