I don't know
Orm point of view
Orm stirred in her bed, the faint morning light streaming through the edges of her curtains. The exhaustion from the previous day lingered heavily, her body reluctant to leave the comfort of her sheets. She had arrived home late the night before, her mind spinning with thoughts of Lingling and their conversation.
Her dreams had been restless—a swirl of past memories and present emotions she couldn’t quite grasp? But just as she began to drift back into the haze of sleep, a sharp knocking echoed through her apartment, jolting her fully awake.
The sharp knock on her door startled Orm awake, her body jolting upright. Her heart raced as she groggily glanced at the clock on her bedside table: 10:02 AM.
Rubbing her eyes, she stumbled out of bed and grabbed a hoodie, pulling it on over her wrinkled tank top. The memories of the day before—the drive to Lingling’s parents’ house, the conversations, the emotions—came rushing back like a tidal wave.
She had barely slept, her mind replaying Ling’s words and her own confessions on an endless loop. And now, someone was pounding on her door.
She unlocked and opened it, squinting at the two figures standing in her hallway.
Namtan held up a bag of pastries with a triumphant grin, while Film balanced two steaming cups of coffee in her hands.
“Well, well,” Namtan said, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. “If it isn’t the woman of the hour.”
“Did you even sleep?” Film asked, raising an eyebrow as she followed Namtan inside and set the coffee down on the counter.
Orm groaned, shutting the door and leaning heavily against it. “You’re both relentless, you know that?”
“That’s what friends are for,” Namtan quipped, pulling a chair out and sitting down as she opened the bag. “And besides, you knew this was coming. You called Film when you went to Ling’s parents’ house. Don’t act like we wouldn’t follow up.”
Orm sighed, rubbing her temples as she shuffled to the kitchen counter and grabbed one of the coffees. “I was emotional, okay? I needed someone to talk to and not too mention that it is your woman who called me first.”
“Well, you’re welcome ungrateful kid” Film said, leaning back against the counter with a knowing smirk. “So... did she throw you out or is she here?” she winks at Orm
Orm glared at her half-heartedly over the rim of her coffee cup. “Of course she isn’t here you dumb. But it wasn’t easy at her parents, even if they tried to make me feel comfortable. ”
Namtan leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “What happened? Did you actually tell her everything?”
Orm hesitated, her fingers tightening around the cup. “I told her about Popor. About that night. Everything I’ve been holding back for years. How i love her”
Film’s teasing demeanor softened instantly. “And how did she take it?”
“She was angry,” Orm admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “Angry at me for not telling her sooner. Angry at Popor for... for what happened. But she didn’t push me away. She said she needs time.”
Namtan’s eyes softened, her hand reaching out to give Orm’s arm a reassuring squeeze. “That’s a good sign, Orm. She didn’t shut you out completely. She listened.”
“I know,” Orm said, her voice trembling slightly. “But it doesn’t feel like enough. I’ve hurt her so much. How do I come back from that?”
Film crossed her arms, her tone firm but kind. “You keep showing up. You’ve already started breaking down the walls. Don’t stop now.”
“She’s still in love with you,” Namtan added, her grin returning. “Film told me what you said on the phone yesterday. You confessed, and she didn’t reject you outright. That’s something, Orm.”
Orm’s cheeks flushed as she looked down at her coffee. “She didn’t say it back.”
“Not yet,” Film said with a knowing look. “But she’s still processing. Give her time. And whatever you do, don’t back down now. You’ve come too far to give up.”
Orm took a deep breath, the weight on her chest lifting slightly at her friends’ encouragement. “Thanks, you two. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Namtan grinned, grabbing a pastry from the bag. “We know. Now eat something. You look like you haven’t had a proper meal in days.”
Orm couldn’t help but laugh, the warmth of their presence grounding her in a way she hadn’t felt in years. She didn’t know what the future held, but with Namtan and Film by her side, she felt like she could face it—one step at a time.
Ling point of view
Lingling sat at the kitchen table, absently stirring her tea as sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow across the familiar space. Her parents moved around her, her mother setting out a fresh plate of fruit while her father flipped through the morning newspaper.
It was her last day at home, and while she cherished the quiet comfort of being here, her mind was already racing ahead to what awaited her in Bangkok. The upcoming For Hearts event was one of the biggest gatherings in the entertainment industry—a charity sports event where the most famous actors from various networks, including Channel 3, came together.
“You seem distracted, N’Ling,” her mother, Mae, said, sitting down across from her.
Lingling blinked, realizing she’d been stirring her tea for far too long. She set the spoon down and offered her mother a small smile. “Sorry, Mae. Just thinking about everything coming up.”
“The For Hearts event, right?” Mae asked, her tone light but curious. “Are you afraid that it will go like the Dior event?”
Lingling flinched slightly at the mention of the Dior event, her mother’s words hitting closer to home than she’d expected. “It’s not that, Mae. I just…” She trailed off, searching for the right words. “I want to be prepared, that’s all.”
Mae’s brow arched, skepticism clear in her gaze. “Prepared for what, N’Ling? Seeing her again?”
Lingling’s lips parted in surprise, but she quickly closed them, averting her gaze to the steam rising from her tea. Her mother’s intuition never failed to catch her off guard.
“She might not even be there,” Lingling said softly, though the words felt hollow even to her.
Mae gave her a knowing look, leaning forward slightly. “You and I both know she will be. Orm doesn’t back down, especially not when it comes to you. And not without mentioning it is one of the biggest event at Bangkok so…”
Lingling sighed, resting her chin on her hand. “It’s just… complicated, Mae. After everything that happened at the Dior event, after what she said at the house, I don’t know what to expect anymore.”
Mae reached across the table, her hand warm and grounding as it rested on Ling’s. “Complicated doesn’t mean impossible, N’Ling. It means there’s still something worth figuring out.”
Lingling looked up at her mother, the weight of her words sinking in. She wanted to believe that was true, but the thought of facing Orm again—of navigating the emotions still tangled between them—felt overwhelming.
“Do you want to figure it out?” Mae asked gently, her voice steady but probing.
Ling hesitated, the answer already forming in her heart even as her mind rebelled against it. “Yes I do” she admitted finally. “A part of me does. But another part… it’s scared, Mae. What if it’s too late? What if we’ve hurt each other too much?”
Mae smiled softly, her thumb brushing over Lingling’s knuckles. “If it’s truly love, N’Ling, it’s never too late. But only you can decide if it’s worth the risk. Is Orm worth the risk?”
Lingling’s chest tightened, her thoughts swirling. She glanced out the window at the garden, the soft sunlight dappling the grass where Bobo lay napping. Her mother’s words echoed in her mind, stirring something deep within her.
_______________________________________
Lingling stood in her room, methodically folding the last of her clothes into her suitcase. The familiar act of packing calmed her nerves, the repetitive motion grounding her as her mind raced. Mae’s words lingered, weaving in and out of her thoughts as she prepared to return to Bangkok.
Her gaze drifted to the small pile of items still on her bed—a favorite scarf, a notebook she’d left behind the last time she visited, and a small plush keychain Bobo had chewed on as a puppy. Each piece was a thread in the tapestry of her life here, a life that often felt so far removed from the chaos of her career.
Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, breaking her reverie. Lingling glanced at the screen, noting a message from Junji.
Junji: Still good for tonight? I need updates on EVERYTHING.
Lingling let out a small laugh, shaking her head as she typed back a quick response.
Lingling: Yes, see you tonight. My place, usual time.
She hesitated for a moment before adding another line.
Lingling: Bring snacks. It’s going to be a long night.
Junji’s reply came almost instantly.
Junji: Snacks, wine, and maybe a little therapy. Be ready.
Lingling smiled faintly, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. Junji had always been a steady presence in her life—a friend who never judged, only listened and offered blunt advice when needed. If anyone could help her untangle the mess in her head, it was Junji.
She placed her phone back on the nightstand and zipped up her suitcase. Taking a deep breath, she glanced around the room one last time, her eyes lingering on the familiar corners and small details she’d grown up with.
“Ready, N’Ling?” Mae’s voice called from the hallway.
Lingling turned, grabbing her suitcase handle and heading for the door. “Almost, Mae. Just need to load this into the car.”
Mae appeared in the doorway, her smile warm but tinged with sadness. “You’re always so busy, my dear. Make sure to take care of yourself, alright?”
Lingling nodded, pulling her mother into a quick hug. “I will, Mae. Promise.”
As she made her way to the car, Bobo trotted after her, wagging his tail lazily. Lingling crouched down to pet him, her fingers brushing through his soft fur. “Be good for Mae and Pa, okay? I’ll see you soon.”
Bobo barked softly, nuzzling against her hand before padding back toward the house.
Lingling climbed into the driver’s seat, her heart heavy but determined. Bangkok awaited, along with the chaos of the city—and the lingering uncertainty of what the For Hearts event might bring.
But tonight, at least, she would have Junji and she will finally lay out everything.
Orm point of view
After Namtan and Film left, Orm waited for Mae's car to pick her up and take her to the CH3 building, where she had a meeting with P’Dew and other organizers of the "For Hearts" event. The afternoon sun glinted off the glass façade of the Channel 3 building as Orm and Mae stepped out of the car. Orm adjusted her sunglasses, her nerves simmering beneath her calm exterior. This was a meeting she couldn’t afford to mess up, especially with the For Hearts event just around the corner.
A staff member approached them with a polite bow. “N’Orm, Mae, welcome. Please follow me; the meeting room is ready.”
As the meeting concluded and the room began to empty, Orm gathered her belongings, ready to leave with Mae. But just as they were about to step out, one of the producers approached them with a polite smile.
“N’Orm, could we have a quick word?”
Orm exchanged a glance with Mae, who gave her a reassuring nod. “Of course,” Orm replied, her tone curious but composed.
The producer led them into a smaller, more private meeting room. Inside, a few familiar faces from the event planning team were seated, their expressions a mix of anticipation and excitement.
“We’ll keep this brief,” the producer began, gesturing for Orm and Mae to take a seat. “We wanted to discuss a special addition to the For Hearts event this year. As you know, the event is all about collaboration and showcasing the talents of our actors. And, well, we’ve noticed your performances in the past, particularly your singing.”
Orm blinked, caught off guard. “My singing?”
Mae’s eyebrows rose slightly, but she stayed quiet, watching the exchange with interest.
“Yes,” the producer continued. “Your voice has always resonated with audiences, and we think it would add a special touch to the event if you performed a song during the opening ceremony.”
The room seemed to pause, all eyes on Orm as she processed the request. She had sung before, of course—on shows, for promotional events—but this felt different. Bigger.
“I... I didn’t expect this,” Orm admitted, her voice tinged with surprise.
“We understand it’s short notice,” another team member chimed in. “But we’re confident that you’ll bring something extraordinary to the event. It’s a chance to connect with the audience in a way that only music can.”
Orm glanced at Mae, who gave her a small, encouraging smile. “What do you think, N’Orm?” Mae asked gently.
Orm hesitated, the weight of the opportunity settling over her. Performing in front of her peers, fans, and the industry’s top names—including Ling—was a daunting prospect. But it was also a chance to step forward, to show her growth and resilience.
“I’ll do it,” Orm said finally, her voice steady despite the nerves bubbling inside her. “I’d be honored.”
The producer beamed, clapping his hands together. “Wonderful! We’ll arrange for a rehearsal schedule and send over the song options for you to choose from. Thank you, N’Orm. This is going to be amazing.”
Orm nodded, a faint smile on her lips. As the meeting wrapped up, she and Mae left the room, stepping into the quiet hallway.
“You handled that well,” Mae said, her voice warm.
Orm exhaled, the reality of the situation sinking in. “I’m not sure if I’m more excited or terrified,” she admitted with a small laugh.
Mae patted her shoulder gently. “You’ll be incredible, N’Orm. I know it.”
________________________________
They walked toward the car, but as Mae reached for the driver’s side door, Orm hesitated. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her gaze drifting to the city beyond the parking lot.
“Mae,” she began softly, her tone careful.
Mae turned, her eyebrows lifting slightly. “Yes, N’Orm?”
Orm took a deep breath, her heart pounding as she mustered the courage to say the words. “I need to go somewhere... on my own. Can you take the car back without me?”
Mae’s expression shifted to mild surprise, but she didn’t pry. “Of course, dear. Is everything alright?”
Orm nodded quickly. “Yes. I just... I have an appointment. It’s something personal.”
Mae’s concern deepened, but she didn’t press further. “Alright,” she said gently. “But let me know if you need anything, okay? I’ll send a driver for when you’re over to drop you off for dinner tonight”
“Okay Mae thank you,” Orm offered a smile.
Mae climbed into the car, her gaze lingering on Orm for a moment before she started the engine. As the car pulled away, Orm exhaled deeply, turning toward the sidewalk.
She adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder, her steps purposeful as she headed toward her destination. This wasn’t something she’d planned for long, but after everything with Ling and the weight of the past she’d carried for so long, she knew it was time to deal with her shit and be a grown woman.
The small, discreet office was tucked away on a quiet street. Orm paused in front of the door, the polished brass plaque reading “Dr. Niran Chawalit, Clinical Psychologist.”
Her stomach churned with nerves as she opened the door and stepped inside. The waiting room was serene, with soft lighting and calming artwork on the walls. A kind-looking receptionist greeted her with a warm smile.
“Good afternoon,” the receptionist said. “You must be N’Orm. Dr. Niran is expecting you.”
Orm nodded, her hands fidgeting slightly as she signed in. A few minutes later, she was led into a comfortable office. Dr. Niran, a man in his late 40s with kind eyes and a calm demeanor, rose from his chair to greet her.
“Good afternoon, N’Orm,” he said, extending his hand.
Orm shook it, her voice steady despite the nerves bubbling inside her. “Good afternoon.”
“Please, have a seat,” Dr. Niran said, gesturing to a cozy armchair across from his desk.
Orm settled into the chair, her hands resting on her lap. The room was quiet, the faint hum of the air conditioning the only sound.
Orm hesitated, her fingers twisting together. “I’m not sure where to start,” she admitted, her voice soft.
Dr. Niran offered a reassuring smile. “That’s alright. There’s no rush. Start wherever you feel comfortable.
Orm took a deep breath, her gaze drifting to the floor. “I’ve been... carrying a lot. For a long time. And I think it’s time I stop running from it.”
The words hung in the air, a small but significant step forward.She felt both vulnerable and determined, a mix of emotions she hadn’t fully sorted through.
Dr. Niran studied her for a moment, his calm presence encouraging her to speak. “You mentioned carrying a lot. Can you tell me more about that?”
Orm took a deep breath, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “It’s... about someone. Someone I’ve hurt, but who I still love more than anything.”
Dr. Niran nodded, his expression understanding. “Love can be complicated, especially when it involves the past. What makes you feel like now is the time to address it?”
Orm’s gaze drifted to the floor, her voice soft but steady. “Because she deserves better. I’ve spent so long running—from her, from myself, from the truth. But I can’t do that anymore. If there’s even a chance to make things right, I want to be ready. I want to be the person she deserves.”
Dr. Niran leaned back slightly, his pen hovering over his notebook. “What does being ‘ready’ look like to you?”
Orm paused, the question settling in her mind. “It means being honest. With her, with myself. It means letting go of the fear that’s kept me from her—and learning how to love her in a way that isn’t selfish or weighed down by the past.”
Her voice trembled slightly, but she pushed through. “I’ve made so many mistakes. I kept things from her that I shouldn’t have, and I let my own insecurities hurt her. But I don’t want to keep making those mistakes. I want to be better for her.”
Dr. Niran’s expression softened, his voice steady. “It sounds like you’ve already taken some important steps. Acknowledging your mistakes, recognizing what needs to change—that’s significant. But it’s also important to remember that healing and growth take time. You don’t have to have all the answers right away.”
Orm nodded, her throat tight with emotion. “I know. I just... I’ve spent so long thinking about what could’ve been, and now that there’s a chance—however small—I don’t want to waste it.”
As the session drew to a close, Orm hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her hoodie. Dr. Niran noticed the shift in her demeanor, his expression calm and patient.
Dr. Niran tilted his head slightly, his tone thoughtful. “Rebuilding trust is never easy, especially when there’s been pain on both sides. But it starts with consistency and transparency. You’ve already taken a step by sharing the truth with her—how did she react to that?”
Orm thought back to Ling’s expression, the way her eyes had softened even as anger and hurt flickered within them. “She listened. She was angry, but she didn’t shut me out. She said she needs time.”
Dr. Niran nodded. “That’s a promising response. It means she’s still open to the possibility, even if she’s cautious. The key now is to respect her boundaries while showing her that your actions align with your words.”
Orm’s chest tightened, a mix of hope and fear coursing through her. “I just... I don’t want to mess this up again. She’s been through so much because of me. I want her to feel safe with me, to know that she can trust me completely.”
Dr. Niran leaned forward slightly, his voice steady and reassuring. “It’s clear that you care deeply about Ling. And part of rebuilding that trust is acknowledging her feelings, even if they’re difficult to hear. Be patient, both with her and with yourself. This isn’t something that can be rushed.”
Orm nodded slowly, her thoughts swirling. “She deserves someone who can give her everything. Someone who isn’t afraid to fight for her.”
“And it sounds like you’re becoming that person,” Dr. Niran said, offering her a small smile. “It’s a journey, N’Orm. But the fact that you’re here, taking this step, shows that you’re willing to do the work.”
Orm exhaled deeply, her shoulders relaxing slightly. “Thank you, Doctor. I think... I needed to hear that.”
Dr. Niran smiled again, standing as the session came to an end. “You’re welcome. And remember, this is just the beginning. Take it one day at a time.”
Orm stood as well, shaking his hand firmly. “I will. Thank you again.”
As she left the office, her heart felt lighter but still full of determination. Ling was worth every effort, and Orm was ready to prove it—not just to Ling, but to herself as well. She will do everything in her power to have Ling again.
Ling point of view
Lingling opened the door to her apartment and immediately heard the faint clinking of glasses and the unmistakable hum of Junji’s voice singing off-key. She blinked in surprise, stepping inside to find Junji already making herself at home.
“P’Junji?” Ling called out, setting her bags down.
“In the kitchen!” Junji replied cheerfully.
Lingling followed the sound to find Junji unpacking snacks onto the counter. A bottle of wine was already open, two glasses poured. Junji looked up with a grin, gesturing grandly at the spread.
“Surprise! Figured you’d be too tired to do this yourself after the long drive.”
Lingling couldn’t help but smile, her exhaustion easing slightly. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
“I know,” Junji said with a wink, “but I’m amazing like that.” She handed Ling a glass of wine, her expression softening. “You okay? How was it?”
Lingling took the glass, leaning against the counter as she let out a small sigh. “I’m fine. Just... a lot on my mind.”
Junji leaned closer, her tone teasing but curious. “Let me guess, a beautiful tall woman, named Orm?”
Lingling gave her a look, but Junji only smirked.
Lingling stepped into her living room with Junji trailing behind, both holding glasses of wine. The warmth of home and Junji’s casual chatter made her feel a little less weighed down after the long drive.
Junji flopped onto the couch, patting the spot beside her. “Come on, N’Ling. Sit down. You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world.”
Lingling smiled faintly, taking the seat next to her friend. She tucked her legs under her, cradling her glass as Junji reached for the remote, putting on some soft background music.
For a few moments, they sipped their wine in comfortable silence, the dim light of the room and the hum of music creating a sense of calm. But Junji, being Junji, wasn’t one to let silence linger for long.
Junji leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she turned to face Lingling. “Alright, spill it, N’Ling. What’s going on in that head of yours? And don’t give me some half-baked answer, because I’m not buying it.”
Lingling sighed, setting her glass down on the coffee table. “It’s just... everything with Orm. It’s so much, Junji. I wasn’t expecting this”
Junji nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. “Yeah, I figured. But here’s the thing, Ling—are you actually giving her a chance, or are you just holding onto the past to protect yourself? I think she needs you, but you need to give yourself a break”
Lingling flinched at the bluntness of Junji’s words, her eyes darting away. “It’s not that simple. You know what happened, how much she hurt me.”
“I do,” Junji said firmly. “But I also know she’s trying. She came to your parents’ house, and you know she was brave for doing this, she could have wait for you to come back. That’s not something someone does unless they’re serious.”
Lingling hesitated, the weight of Junji’s words sinking in. “She lied to me for years, Junji. She let me believe things that weren’t true. How am I supposed to just... get past that?”
Junji leaned back against the couch, her tone softening. “I’m not saying you should forget everything overnight, Ling. But you can’t keep holding onto all this anger if you want to move forward. At some point, you have to decide if you’re going to let her in or let her go. But you need to be honest with yourself to be honest with her”
Lingling bit her lip, her chest tightening. “What if I let her in and she hurts me again?”
Junji gave her a small, sad smile. “What if you let her in and she doesn’t?”
The question hung in the air, heavy and unanswerable. Lingling crossed her arms, her gaze fixed on the floor. “I don’t know, Junji. It’s hard to trust her again.”
“I get that,” Junji said, her voice gentle. “But trust isn’t something that just appears out of nowhere. It’s built. And if Orm’s willing to put in the work, maybe you should let her try.”
Lingling glanced at Junji, her eyes filled with uncertainty. “You really think she deserves another chance?”
Junji shrugged, taking a sip of her wine. “I think she loves you. And I think you still love her too. That’s not something you just throw away because it’s hard. So yes, I think you both deserve a second chance”
Lingling’s throat tightened, tears threatening to well up. “I’m scared, Junji. I don’t want to get hurt again.”
Junji reached over, placing a hand on Lingling’s shoulder. “I know. But you can’t protect yourself from everything, Ling. Sometimes, you’ve got to take the risk. And honestly? I think Orm’s worth it. Despite everything, I still think she is the one for you”
Lingling nodded slowly, the faintest glimmer of hope stirring in her chest. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I’m always right,” Junji said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. “Now, finish your wine. You’re going to need it if we’re going to tackle this whole ‘For Hearts’ event thing in two days.”
“ Don’t tell me about it. I always love that event because we can do sports, play in teams and all the fun, but this year..It might be more difficult” confesses Ling finishing her drink
Junji tilted her head, watching Lingling with a mix of curiosity and concern. “More difficult? Why, because of Orm? Don’t worry I’ll be there”
Lingling let out a heavy sigh, placing her empty glass on the coffee table. “Partly. It’s not just her, though. The event is different this year—mixed teams, more press coverage than ever. And I’ve found out they’ve added special performances. It’s a lot to deal with. And.. There’s someone else I have to deal with at this event. Someone I’m not sure I can face without losing it.”
Junji’s brow furrowed, her voice cautious. “Who?”
Lingling’s jaw tightened as she muttered, “Popor.”
Lingling’s brow furrowed as Junji’s expression shifted, a mix of realization and annoyance crossing her face. “Popor... right. I actually forgot about her for a second,” Junji said, setting her glass down.
Lingling blinked, surprised. “How could you forget? After everything she did to Orm?”
Junji shrugged, her tone sharp. “Because I assumed she wouldn’t show her face at events like this anymore. The industry’s been buzzing for a few weeks now, Ling. People are starting to figure out that her ‘version’ of what happened wasn’t the truth.”
Lingling froze, her grip tightening on her wine glass. “What do you mean? Orm told me only a few people knew—Kate, Nene, Smith, Film and Namtan.”
Junji gave her a pointed look. “That’s probably what Orm believed, but the truth has a way of slipping out, especially when there’s someone as messy as Popor involved and someone as successful as Orm. Rumors have been swirling for weeks, maybe even longer.”
Lingling’s chest tightened, a mix of anger and confusion bubbling to the surface. “And no one thought to say anything? No one thought to stop her from continuing her lies? Or I don’t know tell me the fucking truth?”
Junji was shocked, it was so rare for Ling to curse, and she looked at her standing up to grab a bottle of water in the fridge and come back, her shoulders tensed.
Junji sighed, leaning back against the couch. “You know how this industry works, Ling. People whisper, but they don’t act unless it directly affects them. And Popor’s had a lot of connections. She’s slippery. But it’s catching up to her now.”
Lingling nodded slowly, her mind racing. “Does Orm know? About the rumors?”
Junji hesitated before shaking her head. “I don’t think so. She’s been so focused on herself and trying to fix things with you, she probably hasn’t paid attention to what’s being said about Popor. And honestly, she’s better off not knowing for now.”
Lingling’s heart ached at the thought of Orm still carrying the weight of that night, unaware that the industry’s perception of Popor was finally shifting. “I need to talk to her about this, I need to fix this. People need to know the truth, I can’t leave Orm dealing ” she murmured.
Junji placed a hand on her arm, her tone firm. “You will, but not now. Focus on the event first. Support each other there, and then you can figure out the rest together.”
Lingling nodded, her resolve hardening. “You’re right. I’ll deal with her there—and I’ll deal with Popor if I have to.”
Junji smirked, raising her glass. “Now that’s the Ling I know. Fierce, determined, and ready to take on the world. Let’s toast to that.”
Orm point of view
Orm parked her car outside her family house, the warm glow of lights spilling from the windows onto the driveway. The muffled sounds of laughter and chatter drifted through the open windows, a comforting reminder of the gathering inside.
She took a deep breath, steadying herself before stepping out. It was her little brother Att’s birthday, and she was determined to put everything aside for the evening. As she walked to the door, the scent of Mae’s cooking wafted through the air, making her smile.
“Orm!” Mae greeted her warmly at the door, pulling her into a tight hug. “You’re just in time. Everyone’s been asking for you.”
Orm smiled, returning the embrace. “Sorry, Mae. Got caught up with a few things earlier.”
Mae pulled back, studying her daughter’s face. “You seem... lighter, somehow. What’s going on, N’Orm?”
Orm hesitated, glancing past Mae to see Att and a few cousins laughing in the living room. She took another deep breath, deciding this was the right moment.
“I went to therapy today,” Orm admitted softly.
Mae’s eyes widened slightly, surprise flickering across her face. But it quickly melted into a warm, proud smile. “You did?”
Orm nodded, her voice steady. “Yeah. I’ve been carrying a lot, Mae, and I realized I can’t keep doing it alone. It was... scary, but it felt good to start.”
Mae reached out, cupping Orm’s cheek. “I’m so proud of you, N’Orm. That’s a big step, and I know it wasn’t easy.”
Orm’s throat tightened at the sincerity in her mother’s voice. “Thanks, Mae. I just... I want to be better. For myself, and for everything I want to rebuild in my life.”
Mae nodded, pulling her into another hug. “You’re not alone in this, N’Orm. You never have to be. Let me in more, like before. I’m here for you.”
Orm closed her eyes, letting the comfort of Mae’s embrace wash over her. “I’ll try, Mae. I promise.”
When they pulled apart, Mae smiled brightly, brushing a strand of hair from Orm’s face. “Now, enough of the serious talk. It’s Att’s day. Let’s make it special, hmm?”
Orm laughed softly, nodding. “Right. Where’s the birthday boy?”
Mae gestured toward the living room, where Att sat on the couch, animatedly chatting with their cousins. He looked up when Orm entered, his grin widening as he stood to greet her.
“P’Orm!” Att called out, walking over with a bounce in his step.
Orm opened her arms for a hug. “Happy birthday, Att! The big two-two now, huh? When did my baby brother get so grown up?”
Att chuckled, wrapping her in a quick but warm hug. “I’ve been grown for years, P’Orm. You’re just slow to notice.”
Their cousins laughed, chiming in with playful jabs about sibling rivalries. Orm couldn’t help but smile, her usual worries momentarily fading in the warmth of family.
“Alright, where’s this cake I’ve been hearing about?” Orm asked, glancing toward the dining room.
“It’s ridiculous!” Att said, motioning for her to follow him. “Mae went overboard as usual, but you’re going to love it.”
In the dining room, the table was set with bright decorations, and at its center was a towering chocolate cake adorned with small edible footballs and candles shaped like the number 22. Orm laughed softly, impressed by Mae’s dedication.
“This is amazing, Mae,” Orm said, looking back at her mother, who beamed with pride.
“Nothing’s too much for my Att,” Mae replied, brushing a hand affectionately over Att’s shoulder.
As the family gathered around, the candles were lit, and the room filled with the sound of “Happy Birthday.” Att closed his eyes for a moment before blowing out the candles in one confident breath, his wish remaining a secret.
________________________________________
Orm stood on the porch, leaning against the railing as she stared into the quiet night. The distant hum of crickets filled the silence, but her mind was far from peaceful. Thoughts of the For Hearts event swirled— her singing, Ling, Popor, the inevitable tension. How was she supposed to handle it all?
The creak of the door behind her broke her reverie. Mae stepped outside, a blanket draped over her arm and a soft expression on her face. “Couldn’t sleep either?” she asked gently, handing the blanket to Orm.
Orm shook her head, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. “Just... thinking.”
Mae studied her daughter for a moment before taking a seat on the porch swing. “Thinking about tomorrow?”
Orm hesitated, but she nodded. “Yeah. It’s going to be a lot.”
Mae patted the space beside her, and Orm joined her on the swing. “How are you going to handle it, N’Orm? With Popor and Ling in the same room again? I don’t worry for you on stage, I know you’ll handle it well”
Orm exhaled deeply, her shoulders sagging. “I don’t know, Mae. Just being in the same space as Popor makes my skin crawl. And with Ling... I don’t want to make things harder for her.”
Mae reached over, placing a comforting hand on Orm’s knee. “You’ve made a lot of progress, N’Orm. You’ve faced things you were running from for years. But tomorrow try to think about what is best for you”
Orm nodded, her chest tightening. “I just don’t want to let my emotions get the better of me, Mae. I’m scared I’ll lose my temper if Popor says or does something. And with Ling... I hope Popor won’t try to push her like she did at the Dior event”
Mae smiled gently, her voice steady. “You’ve already proven you’re not that person, N’Orm. You’ve taken responsibility, and you’ve shown Ling you’re willing to fight for her. As for Popor, don’t give her the power to ruin your day. Hold your head high and let her see that she doesn’t control your story anymore.”
Orm’s throat tightened, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “Thanks, Mae. I needed to hear that.”
Mae squeezed her knee, her tone warm. “You’re stronger than you think, N’Orm. And no matter what happens tomorrow, just remember—you have people who love you, who are rooting for you. Myself included.”
Orm leaned into her mother’s side, letting Mae wrap an arm around her shoulders.
After spending a quiet moment with Mae on the porch, Orm finally made her way upstairs to her childhood bedroom. The familiar space, with its soft pastel walls and shelves lined with old books and trinkets, felt both comforting and surreal. She hadn’t stayed here in months, and yet, tonight, it felt like the safest place in the world.
She changed into her pajamas and slid under the covers, her body tired but her mind still restless. The For Hearts event loomed large in her thoughts, and no matter how much she tried to push it aside, one name kept surfacing.
Ling.
Orm stared at the ceiling, her fingers nervously twisting the edge of the blanket. Mae’s words echoed in her mind, reminding her of the progress she’d made and the strength she had to face the next day. But it wasn’t just about her growth—it was about Ling. Ling, who had been hurt, betrayed, and left in the dark for so long.
Before she could stop herself, Orm reached for her phone on the nightstand. Her heart pounded as she unlocked it, her thumb hovering over Ling’s contact. It had been so long since she’d sent her anything casual, let alone something as vulnerable as what she was considering now.
Taking a deep breath, Orm typed out a message, her fingers trembling as the words formed on the screen:
Orm:I will fight for you, Ling. No matter what. I love you.
She stared at the message, her thumb hovering over the send button. Doubts began to flood her mind.
Was it too much? Too soon? Would it push Ling away instead of bringing her closer?
Her chest tightened as the weight of her emotions settled heavily on her. Ling deserved honesty, but did she deserve this much, this soon? Orm bit her lip, her mind racing.
Her thumb drifted over the delete button, but something stopped her. She remembered Mae’s words on the porch—Hold your head high. Don’t let fear make your decisions for you.
Taking one last deep breath, Orm hit send.
The screen confirmed the message’s delivery, and Orm felt her heart leap into her throat. Setting her phone down on the nightstand, she sat there for a moment, the silence of the room now deafening.
What would Ling think? What would she say?
Curling under the covers, Orm’s mind raced with anticipation and fear. She didn’t know if she’d get a response, but for the first time, she let herself hope.
“I love you, Ling,” she whispered into the stillness, closing her eyes as exhaustion finally began to tug her into sleep.
Ling point of view
Lingling sat on the couch, her legs tucked beneath her as Junji scrolled through her phone, occasionally muttering comments about the latest industry gossip. They had settled into a comfortable silence, with Junji occasionally throwing her a knowing glance but not pressing further.
The evening had been grounding in its own way, but Ling’s thoughts were still restless, swirling around Orm and everything they had discussed at her parents’ house.
Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, pulling her attention. She leaned forward and picked it up, her stomach flipping when she saw Orm’s name on the screen.
“What is it?” Junji asked, noticing the way Ling’s expression shifted.
Ling didn’t answer immediately. She unlocked her phone, her heart pounding as she opened the message.
Orm:I will fight for you, Ling. No matter what. I love you.
Ling stared at the words, her breath catching in her throat. She read the message again, and then a third time, as if trying to convince herself it was real.
Junji’s curiosity got the better of her. “Ling, what’s wrong? Did Orm—”
Ling held up a finger, silencing her friend as she tried to process the flood of emotions crashing over her.
Orm’s words were raw, direct, and completely unfiltered. It wasn’t like her to be so open, so vulnerable, especially not in a text. Ling’s fingers trembled slightly as she locked the screen, unsure of what to do next.
“Well?” Junji pressed, leaning closer. “What did she say?”
Ling glanced at her, her voice barely above a whisper. “She said she loves me. And that she’ll fight for me.”
Junji blinked, her lips parting in surprise. “Wow. That’s... intense. But also kind of amazing, no?”
Ling shook her head, a whirlwind of thoughts clouding her mind. “It’s a lot, Junji. After everything, I don’t know how to feel about this.”
Junji frowned, her tone gentler now. “Ling, you’ve been wanting her to be honest with you, to fight for you. Isn’t this exactly what you’ve been waiting for?”
Ling bit her lip, staring down at the locked screen of her phone. “It is, but... it’s also terrifying. What if she’s just saying it because she feels guilty? What if she can’t actually follow through?”
Junji reached over, placing a firm hand on Ling’s arm. “What if she can? Ling, you’re scared—anyone would be after everything you two have been through. But if you’re going to give her a chance, you have to let her show you she means it.”
Ling looked at Junji, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “And if I let her in again and it still doesn’t work out?”
Junji gave her a small, sad smile. “Then at least you’ll know you tried. And maybe that’s better than living with all the ‘what ifs. Come on Ling, I know it is scary but this is what love is, scary and all’”
Lingling nodded slowly, her chest tight with emotion. “I don’t know if I can reply tonight.”
“That’s okay, the message does not really wait for an answer,” Junji said, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll see her tomorrow anyway so you can say it back right in front of her” she laughs teasing Ling
Lingling managed a faint smile starting to turn all red, but she feels grateful for Junji’s unwavering support.
“Oh stop it” says Ling as she throws a pillow at her.
As the night stretched on, the message stays unanswered on her screen, its weight heavy but not unbearable.