Regret And Jealousy pt 1+2
Part 1
I understand you hate me now, but i promise i´ll do better, just please, please, take me back. Don´t look at him, look at me, please, i beg of you to look at me the way you look at him… i promise i love you
What part of him is not good enough, he didn´t understand, what did Kazuha do better than him. Maybe he just wasn´t what you wanted in a partner. he couldn´t come up with the perfect love poems on the spot, he´s not sure if he could even say “i love you”, and if he could it would never be as sweet as Kazuha did, not in the way he says “i love you” just with his smile. But him, oh, no he barely smiles, never even, he didn´t even smile around you. Maybe that was what you loved more about Kazuha, maybe that was what made you run out of his arms, and into Kazuha´s.
If only he hadn´t let you go, if only he was like Kazuha, sweet from the feet and up to his dumb little red streak in his otherwise white hair. If only he hadn´t treated you like that, if only, if only… but that was then, he can´t change the past, but at least he could change himself. If only he knew how to do that… and there it was again that stupid ‘if only’, why does he even try, why does he even dream of having you back, when he knows that you wouldn´t want to, you wouldn´t want to experience that pain all over again. He wants to say sorry, but the words have never left his mouth before, and he doesn´t know how they would now.
He regrets ever mistreating you, yelling at you, hurting you. he regrets it all, he now realizes how bad he actually missed you. but it doesn´t matter anymore, you´ve already moved on, moved on with Kazuha. Kazuha, Kazuha, Kazuha… Kazuha, it has always been Kazuha hasn´t it, he´s popular, smart, pretty, romantic, sweet, nice, and doesn´t hurt you physically nor mentally. he almost understands why you chose Kazuha, almost. but just choose him again, he promises he won´t ever hurt you again, won´t ever tell you that you´re worthless or tell you to just kill yourself before he does, he swears he didn´t actually mean it, none of it.
He knows why you left him, you had a right to do so, to recover from the pain he gave you. yet he still wanted you now again, he doesn´t even know i he can change ever. but he´ll try, he´ll try for you. so you can see just how much of a better match he is for you, so he can prove to Kazuha that he´s better than him. that he deserves you more, that he wants you more, that he´s the one for you, and he would do anything for you.
Anything for his true love, Kazuha told you that too right, but he would still sacrifice you for other things, the foolish man doesn´t know that you should be on top of his list, just like you are on his. he´ll kill Kazuha if he has to, so you´ll stay with him, so he can show that he´ll do anything for you, he´ll even kill himself if that´s what you really want, but you don´t want that, right? Right?
He´ll go from universe to universe for you if he had to because now he finally realizes how badly he treated you, and how much he truly loved you, how he loves you. he´ll treat you better this time, he swears he will, he won´t ever yell at you, hurt you, do anyhting you don´t want, as long as you´re with him.
Just choose him, please, please, please… he´ll do anything… just not Kazuha, him.
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Part two, requested by anonymous
You chose him, you finally chose him. You can´t choose Kazuha anymore anyway, he already made sure that you can´t.
He wasn´t expecting you to turn up to his door, ever, yet there you were in all your beauty and... crying? oh right he almost forgot how he made Kazuha commit "suicide", but what he didn´t think would happen was that you came to him for comfort. he was happy about it, of course he was, but he just didn´t understand, why him? but he could figure that out another time, right now you came back tohim and that was all that mattered right now, you only have to worry about you and him for now.
He was quick to hug you tightly to his chest when he had gotten his thoughts together, not letting go until you asked him to or never. As he stroked your hair for comfort his thoughts started to go wild again, what if you found out it was him, would you then hate him again... he stopped himself before his thoughts could get any worse, you were never leaving him again, he´ll do anything to make you stay. make you stay with him. even if that meant killing the rest of your friends and family, so you only had him left, had him to go to.
He would give you anything you wanted, your favorite food, drink, plushy anything you needed or wanted he would get for you. he wouldn´t let anyone hurt you, and if they did... no he shouldn´t think about that now, you were safe in his arms, you are in his arms. you can´t leave him now, you already chose him, the better him, the one who won´t hurt you ever. now you can´t choose anyone else, just him. and he´ll do better than before, he promises he´ll try for you, just for you.
As long as you are with him he won´t hurt you, as long as you don´t question him for his actions, its all for your protection he swears it is. all he wants to do is protect you, protect you from the world, from the longing eyes of strangers, that he´ll end up killing if they look for too long.
He´ll make sure you´ll choose him forever, and only him. He´ll do anything to make you choose him, anything.