Chapter 26
(Aubrey & Emily)
The next couple weeks went smoothly for Aubrey and Emily. With Beca busy with Heather Bright, Emily was back to writing. Aubrey had, after a few days, convinced Emily to forgive herself for bringing her work troubles home and letting them get in the way.
Emily settled into a comfortable routine of writing at work. Between them, Aubrey and Beca had restored some of her hopes for success, though she tried to remain practical about it. She wasn’t changing her writing style, but she knew that meant finding artists who could do her work justice.
The Thursday before Heather Bright returned home, almost two weeks after their drunken taco night, Aubrey met Chloe at a diner for their weekly hang out. “So, how have the last couple weeks been with Heather in town to record with Beca?” the blonde asked while they waited for their food.
“Pretty good. Becs is pretty tired after work, but she doesn’t get caught up with work while she’s home.” Chloe sipped her soda.
Aubrey tilted her head curiously. “Do you just not talk about work?”
Chloe shook her head. “It’s not that. She always fills me in on her day, she just puts effort into being present at hoe with me.”
Aubrey nodded. “Em’s been writing at work, pretty much every day. Sometimes she plays new pieces for me, but she keeps work at work. I just hope that if something happens, she’ll still tell me. I don’t want her to think she can’t talk to me about work at all.” She looked down at the fork she was idly fiddling with.
“If you think she might not, you may want to explicitly tell her that she can if she needs to.” They food arrived and they thanked the waiter.
“She was so terrified that night, I don’t want her to run to the opposite extreme and not talk about any problems at all.” They fell quiet as they ate, Aubrey thinking about how to reassure her partner that she was still someone she could talk to when things were hard. God knew Emily had been attentive the last two weeks. Aubrey just hoped she hasn’t bottling anything up.
“After the end of this week’s recording, and the weekend to fully recover, Becs plans on getting the Bellas reunion put together. Most of them opted for an indoor potluck, so she’ll have to find a location to start with.” Chloe pushed her plate away and sat back.
“If she needs help with something, let us know. I doubt we can help with a location, but I’m sure we can help other ways.”
“Actually, I already know how you can lend a hand. Do you think you could organize the food? Make sure we have sides and not just entrées, that kind of thing? Beca and I will cover everything for burgers. Other than that, no one has said anything specific.”
The blonde grinned. “I can definitely do that. It’ll be nice to have a project for a little while.” They talked about the food project over dessert before heading their separate ways. Deciding to make a nicer meal than usual, Aubrey stopped at the grocery store before going home and getting started.
Emily got home shortly after 5 to an apartment that smelled amazing from Aubrey cooking. The songwriter dropped her bag next to the couch and headed to the kitchen. “What are you making that smells so good?!” she asked as she collected a kiss and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
“Marinated steak, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. Hungry?”
Emily chuckled. “Now I am.” She kissed Aubrey once more before sitting. “So, Beca brought Heather Bright by my office today. Is it bad that I wish I couldn’t like her?”
“No. All things considered, no one could blame you if you didn’t like her.” She looked over her shoulder at Emily. “I take it you do like her, though?”
“Yeah, I do. I didn’t want to. But she was so nice. And Beca must have played her some of our demos, because she said my music sounds great. Which, of course, made it even harder to dislike her.” She sighed and clicked a ring against the bottle.
Aubrey checked on the steak, which wasn’t quite ready yet, and moved to stroke Emily’s hair. “Are you doing okay? I know you don’t want to go through the wringer again, but you can still talk to me about work issues.”
The brunette gave her a tired smile. “I’m okay, love. Nothing is really going on at work right now. I go in, I write, I come home. That’s most days.”
Aubrey nodded and kissed her forehead. “Okay, Em. As long as you remember I’m still here for you.”
Emily put her beer down and wrapped her arms around Aubrey’s waist. “I won’t forget. But I won’t let work get between us either. I never want to hurt you like that again.”
Worried that Emily was about to go down that rabbit hole again, she looked into her hazel eyes. She could see love and how tired Emily was, but no signs of distress. “I know. You didn’t do it on purpose. Remember that, too.” With another kiss, she stepped away to finish making dinner.
After dinner, Emily moved into the living room with a new beer after grabbing her guitar from the guest room. Sitting on the couch, she played random chord progressions as a warm up until Aubrey emerged with a mug of tea. Looking up, she asked, “Any requests? I don’t feel like playing my stuff tonight.”
Aubrey smiled as she sat down. “You know I’m happy with whatever you want to play.”
Wordlessly, Emily bent her head to watch her fingering as she played, keeping her eyes down with effort. She had only wanted to actively, purposefully entertain her partner, but Aubrey never requested anything specific. For some reason, it was frustrating Emily that night, but she tried to keep a leash on her irritation. But after a few songs she played half-heartedly, she stopped the strings with her hand. “Pick a song, babe. Or and artist, or a genre, or something. Anything.” She could hear the frustrated tone of her voice and mentally cursed herself for letting it show. “Bree, I’m sorry…” She glanced up and found a mix of concern and irritation on Aubrey’s face.
Not knowing where Emily’s frustration came from, Aubrey tried to control her own voice. “Power ballads.” It came out more curt than intended and she flinched visibly.
The songwriter got through “Every Rose Has Its Thorns” before the tension between them got to her. She set the instrument aside and put her face in her hands with a heavy sigh.
“Em…” Concern was foremost in Aubrey’s voice.
Emily shook her head. “I don’t want to fight. I’m fine, just tired.” She looked at the clock: 7. Way too early for bed, but she didn’t know what to do.
Aubrey put her mug down and moved closer to rest a soft hand on her shoulder. “I don’t want to fight, either. But I’m not sure what happened that got you frustrated.” Her voice was low and concerned, but calm. They’d never fought before and she didn’t want to start now.
“I’m sorry, love. I got snappy because I’m tired. I should… I’ll just go in the guest room so I can’t do it again.”
Aubrey stood with her. “Please don’t, love,” she requested quietly. “Please don’t hide from me. I’m your partner and I’m not so delicate that a few comments will break me. Just… stay.” She whispered the last.
Emily mumbled something as she scrubbed a hand over her face. Part of her was glad Aubrey wanted her to stay. But she was also afraid she’d say something she didn’t mean. She looked at her barely-touched beer. “I’m switching to tea. No need to drink too much.”
Before Emily could move, Aubrey grabbed the beer. “I’ll make it for you. Be right back.” She kissed Emily’s cheek and went to the kitchen.
Emily sat down, feeling something uncomfortable brewing inside her. More than usual, she felt like the wrong word could ruin everything. She wondered how much patience Aubrey could have with her so soon after the work problem. She considered going for a drive, but decided that might not go over very well. With another sigh, she leaned back and put her feet on the coffee table.
As she disposed of the beer and made more tea, Aubrey pondered. She didn’t like this tension, how it felt to not be in lockstep with Emily. She really hoped there wasn’t anything going on at work. Partially because she didn’t want Emily going through hard times, partially because if there was something going on, she had already lied about it. Aubrey shook her head as if to clear it of the creeping doubt. She had to believe Emily was telling the truth and was just tired. She took a deep, steadying breath before carrying the mug to her partner, who quietly thanked her as she sat. “You know I love you, right?” the blonde asked softly.
“I know. I love you, too.”
Aubrey took Emily’s free hand in both of hers. “And I’m never going anywhere. Neither of us wants to fight, but if we do, we’ll figure it out. Not every fight has to be a dealbreaker.”
Emily nodded, her eyes on her tea. Logically, she understood that. But she didn’t know if she could handle it if Aubrey were angry with her. She searched for something to say that couldn’t be taken badly. “I’m sorry, love,” she said quietly.
“It’s okay, Em. We’re okay. We’ll just relax till bed. Everything will look better in the morning.” Aubrey curled her legs under her and sipped her tea. She wanted to reach out and hug her partner, but she was far from sure that would be welcome. So instead, she gripped her mug, watching over Emily without staring at her, settling for holding the brunette’s hand snugly in her own.
Emily drank her tea, eyes locked on her feet up on the coffee table. Aubrey swore they were okay, but the air was still tense and she still didn’t like how she was feeling. Looking over at Aubrey, she shifted closer gradually, until she was in Aubrey’s lap, her head resting on her shoulder. Aubrey wrapped her arm around Emily’s waist and held her close. “I think I’m staying home tomorrow,” Emily said softly. “No one will miss a songwriter for one day.” Pulling out her phone, she texted her supervisor that she’d be out, then tossed the device on the couch.
Aubrey reached up to stroke her hair. “That was a good idea. You need a chance to rest. We can lounge all day. If you want company, that is. I can always…”
“No,” Emily interrupted quietly. “No, I want you with me. I may not be great company myself, but I’d rather not be alone. If you’re still interested,” she added in a whisper.
Aubrey kissed her jaw. “I always want to be with you. I just had to offer you the time and space in case you needed it.”
Emily nodded. “I think… I think I’m ready for bed. It’s up to you if you come with; it’s still a bit early.” She stood and finished her tea.
The blonde joined her, leaving the mugs for morning and followed her partner to bed.