Chapter 17
(Aubrey & Emily)
“We may need to go shopping before that party,” Aubrey said from the door of the closet. “I’m not thrilled with any of this for your first party at work.” They still had a couple weeks, but she didn’t want to wait till the last minute.
“Sure, babe. Do you want to go this weekend?” It was Monday evening, and Emily had a solid week of recording scheduled. She expected to be exhausted every night.
Aubrey didn’t answer right away. Emily knew everything she already owned, and she thought she’d rather surprise her. “I’ll go during the week. It’ll give me a big reveal that night.”
Emily chuckled. “Okay, love. Hang it in the far corner and I promise I won’t peek. You can shock me when you get to the studio and make everyone jealous that you’re there with me and not them.” She padded over to the closet and collected a soft, lingering kiss.
“I think you overestimate the power of a dress, but you’re still a sweetheart,” Aubrey said, leaning her forehead on Emily’s shoulder.
“It’s not the dress with the power, Bree,” Emily replied in a murmur, resting her hands on Aubrey’s hips. She knew she’d be floored no matter what she wore, but she appreciated that Aubrey cared how she presented herself in front of Emily’s coworkers. “Hey, why not ask if Chloe wants to go with? You two are always so busy at home, you don’t get to hang out.”
Aubrey lifted her head. “That is a brilliant idea. Maybe she’ll decide to surprise Beca, too.” She did miss spending time with her best friend. And they lived closer now than they had in their dorms in college. “I do miss her,” she said quietly, hoping Emily wouldn’t misinterpret it.
Emily pulled her into a hug. “I know, Bree. Text her and set it up. And when you see her, try to arrange a regular hang out. I’m sure she misses you, too.”
The blonde nodded. “You’re right. I can rearrange my schedule for that.”
Emily blinked. “You have a schedule?” How did she now know this after a month and a half?
“Yeah. I do certain things at certain times on specific days. I won’t say I follow it to the letter, but it’s pretty consistent.”
Emily kissed her temple. “Huh. I guess that makes sense. I don’t know why that was a surprise.”
Aubrey chuckled. “No worries, babe. How could you know if I never told you?” She claimed a soft kiss. “Come sit with me while I plan with Chlo?” Emily nodded, and they settled into bed against the headboard, Aubrey’s phone in hand. She opened a text to her best friend. “Dress shopping for party this week?”
“OMG, yes! When?”
“Tomorrow afternoon?”
“Deal. This will be fun!”
Aubrey chuckled and set the phone on the nightstand. “We’re going tomorrow afternoon. She’s very excited.”
Her partner grinned. “I should get someone to be ready to take pictures of me and Beca when you ladies walk in. I’m positive our expressions will be priceless.”
Aubrey leaned over to kiss her cheek. “All your expressions are priceless to me, Em.” Emily blushed and pulled her into a long, deep kiss.
“I love you, Bree.”
“I love you, too, Em.” Aubrey reached up to caress her cheek. “Who would have thought, when we met at the retreat, that we’d be going to a music industry party in the city together?”
Emily smiled and kissed her palm. “No one, but here we are. Life is funny like that.”
***
Chloe picked Aubrey up at noon, having suggested they include lunch in their excursion. They chatted excitedly about the party over lunch, both equally surprised at how their lives were going.
“You remember how long I pined after Beca,” Chloe said. “Now, she’s a recording artist escorting me to this big party. And not as a convenient plus-one, but together, for real.” She shook her head. “I never would have dared to hope for everything I have now.” She picked at her fries idly.
Aubrey nodded her understanding. “I know. Chlo, I don’t know if I ever said it, but no one was happier for you that last morning in France. I didn’t care about winning the bet; I wanted to see you happy.” She reached across the table and covered Chloe’s hand with her own. “You’re my best friend, and honestly, I miss you. We live five minutes from each other and never hang out. I’m not blaming you, I just want to see if we can change that.”
Chloe topped her hand with her other one. “You are absolutely right, Bree. It was one thing when you first moved, since you had to figure out what worked for you. But we don’t have excuses now.”
The blonde grinned as she took her hand back. “So, later we can compare schedules and carve out a regular hang out time?”
“You bet. But first, we find dresses to knock Emily and Beca off their feet.” They both laughed at that, and soon finished lunch. They spent a few hours shopping, taking their time to find the perfect outfits. Only the need to provide dinner sent them home, with promises to text about their schedules.
Aubrey picked up burgers and fries on the way home and hit the new outfit in the corner of the closet. Emily was home 10 minutes later, dragging her feet a bit. It had been a long, arduous day, and her hands ached. But she smiled when Aubrey met her in the living room, albeit tiredly. “Hi, love. How was your day?”
Aubrey took one look at the tired smile, the slouched posture, and the loosely-held bag and shook her head. “No, yours first. Come sit.” She sat on the couch and patted the seat next to her.
Emily dropped her bag and sat, leaning against her partner. “Long day. All morning on piano, then a working lunch, then all afternoon on guitar.” She sighed heavily. “I hurt, Bree. The playing, the tension. I’m even getting a headache at this point.”
“Here, give me your hand.” The blonde gently kneaded the muscles until they were less stiff, then switched hands. “If you hurt like this, you weren’t playing for Beca,” she observed. Beca would never run her friend into the ground like this.
Emily shook her head, closing her eyes to try and consciously relax. “No, not Beca. Honestly, I’d have to look at my schedule to remember who they were, I’m that tired. I knew it would be a rough week, but…” Her voice trailed off.
Aubrey pulled her into a hug. She remembered hard days like that, even if the work had been different, and she remembered wanting nothing more than to not be alone with the exhaustion. “Come eat, then we’ll lay in bed and relax. You can talk or not talk, whatever helps. Let me take care of you, love.” She stood and took Emily’s hand, leading her to the kitchen.
Emily followed quietly at first, but she was restless by the time she sat down. For some reason, she didn’t want to be taken care of in the moment. She just didn’t know how to tell Aubrey that. She didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but she felt the need for some space to think. She finished her burger, then picked at her fries, trying to zone out.
Aubrey could sense something was off, and it wasn’t just the exhaustion of a hard day. But she figured if Emily wanted to say something, she would, so she held her peace as they ate. While Emily zoned into her fries, she got up and made a rum and coke, setting it on the table for her. “I’m gonna go fold laundry. Yell if you need anything.” She kissed the top of Emily’s head and moved into the bedroom. She turned the radio on to occupy her mind, trying not to worry too much.
In the kitchen, Emily pushed her fries away and picked up the drink for a long sip. Setting it down, she crossed her arms over her chest. She appreciated Aubrey not pushing her, though she was also starting to feel bad about wanted the space. The longer she thought about it, the more it bothered her, and she decided she needed advice. Pulling out her phone, she texted Beca. “Got a few? Need advice.”
“Sure. Wanna call?”
Emily hesitated. “Hard to talk.”
“Okay. What’s up?”
Emily summed up her day, then her arrival home. “I just want some time to decompress, but I feel bad not saying anything.”
Beca took a few minutes to reply. “What if you tell her you need the time and space, but don’t get into why? Is it just work or is something up at home, too?”
The songwriter typed as fast as she could. “No! Just work. I just…” She left the sentence unfinished and sent it, scrubbing a hand over her face a few times. She couldn’t explain what she needed or why. She only knew she didn’t want to be waited on tonight. Frustrated, she got up and grabbed a soda from the fridge, not stupid enough to get drunk on a work night. Resisting the urge to slam it shut, she flopped back into her chair to read her friend’s reply.
“Em, just be honest. You need some time alone tonight. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if that’s what’s best for you, Bree will want you to have it.”
Emily sighed heavily. Beca was right, and she shouldn’t have had to ask. “Sorry. You’re right.” She put the device down and got up to head into the bedroom, where Aubrey was halfway through the pile of clothes. She hesitated at the door.
Sensing her presence, Aubrey paused and looked up. “Hey, love. Do you need anything?”
Emily stuffed her hands in her back pockets and leaned against the door frame, forcing herself not to lock her gaze on her feet. “Well, yeah, but…”
“But what, babe? If I can, I will.”
The brunette took a deep breath. “I need… a few hours tonight. Just on my own.” Then she did drop her eyes, not sure what to expect.
Aubrey nodded. She’d thought that might be the case. “Okay, Em. Tell me where you’ll be and I’ll give you space.”
“I’ll get out of the way in the guest room. And Bree?” She looked up to meet pale blue eyes with hazel.
“Yeah?”
“You know I love you, right?”
The blonde smiled. “Yes, Em, I know you love me, or you wouldn’t be so afraid to ask for alone time. I love you, too, and if that’s what you need, I can give you that.” She started around the bed, then paused. “Can I get a hug before?”
“Of course, come here.” Emily opened her arms to gather her partner close. “I’m sorry, Bree. I just didn’t want to hurt you by disappearing.”
“No need to apologize. Just because I prefer company when I’m tired doesn’t mean you have to. Go ahead, I’ll be here when you’re ready.” She collected a kiss and returned to her task. Feeling a bit better on that front, Emily padded into the guest room, sitting at the desk and turning the radio on low.
Aubrey finished putting the laundry away and moved into the kitchen for a cup of tea, sitting at the table when it was ready. She couldn’t help but wonder if something specific had happened at work that Emily didn’t want to discuss. Then again, this was the first time she had come home to Aubrey in such a state. Knowing the rest of the week could be similar, if not worse, she made up her mind to make sure Emily had whatever she needed, be it alone time or company.
Around 9:30, she heard the guest room door open but resisted the urge to jump up and see what she needed. Emily appeared in the door moments later. “Bree?”
“What’s up, love?”
“Can I… sit with you?” Her voice was quiet and uncertain. After an hour and a half, she had realized solitude wasn’t helping, and had come looking for solace from her partner.
“Come here, Em,” Aubrey replied, holding out her hand.
Emily sat in her lap, eyes averted as she laced their fingers. “I was wrong, Bree. I didn’t really want to be alone. I just didn’t… I wanted to feel strong enough to do the job. But I don’t.” She was nearly whispering at the end.
The blonde wrapped her arms around her waist. “Babe, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” She paused. “Is there any way to change the schedule or get coverage? It’s not good for your hands to play so much in one day and you’re booked all week.”
Emily scrubbed her free hand over her face. “I can probably find coverage for a day or two. A lot of the back up musicians play more than one instrument, and guitar and piano are the most common and popular.” She glanced at Aubrey. “I’ll call out for tomorrow, then see how I feel. And that will give me an extra day to spend with you.”
Aubrey gently turned Emily’s head to face her. “Do whatever you need to be okay. And I’ll be right here the whole time, just a yell away.”
Emily smiled a bit. “Thank you, love. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She asked after Aubrey’s day again, and Aubrey happily filled her in on her lunch conversation with Chloe.
“We’re going to compare schedules and find a time to hang out each week.”
“That’s fabulous, babe. I think it’ll be good for you to get out and socialize. I know you want to take care of the apartment, but that shouldn’t mean being trapped here.” Emily stroked her partner’s hair gently. “You deserve to have a life outside of me.”
Aubrey met her eyes. “I miss Chloe, and I’m fixing that. But I have no complaints, love. I’m doing what I want to do.”
After a moment, Emily nodded and ducked her head again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” She sighed. “I’ll just stop talking so I stop saying the wrong things.”
Aubrey squeezed her hand. “Come to bed, Em. You’ve had a day, you’re exhausted, and you’re beating yourself up. Come get some sleep.”
When Aubrey woke up the next morning, Emily was still cuddled close in her arms. The younger woman had fallen asleep almost immediately, and Aubrey laid as still as possible do she wouldn’t wake her. By the end of the night, her heart had ached for her partner. She wasn’t sure what Emily would want that day, but if it was in her power, she’d do it.
An hour later, as her brain was starting to poke at her for caffeine, Emily stretched her arms before settling them over Aubrey’s. “I hope you haven’t been up too long,” she said as she turned over for a kiss.
“No, not too long. Did you sleep okay?” Aubrey tucked a lock of hair behind her partner’s ear gently.
“Like a rock. I really needed that.” She paused. “I don’t know what today is gonna look like for me. I’m not exhausted, but I’m not entirely myself yet either. I may stick my foot in it again. I hope you can keep having patience with me.”
Aubrey drew her into a soft kiss. “It would take a lot more than this to scare me off, babe. But I think what you need most is patience with yourself. You can be awfully hard on yourself sometimes, especially when you’re afraid of my reaction.”
Emily pressed their foreheads together. “I know. I’m my own worst enemy. I get scared because… you know why.” She sighed a bit, trying not to get frustrated first thing in the morning. “I’ll go start the coffee.” She kissed Aubrey’s forehead and headed for the kitchen. She went straight to the latte machine, planning to bring one to Aubrey in bed.
Aubrey pulled Emily’s pillow close, breathing in the scent of her raspberry shampoo. She didn’t know how else to help her partner, and what she was doing didn’t seem to be working. She was starting to feel helpless and desperate. Reaching for her phone, she texted her best friend the whole story. “What do I do, Chlo?”
“Don’t let her push you away. You’d both regret it. Maybe some good, old-fashioned stress relief?”
“???”
“Sex, Bree. Go seduce her and make both of you feel better.”
Aubrey set her phone down and considered. That hadn’t occurred to her. She supposed it was worth trying; anything for Emily Junk. Just as she started to sit up, Emily walked in with two lattes, setting one on each nightstand. “Figured we could start with the strong stuff,” she explained as she climbed in to sit next to Aubrey.
“Thanks, love,” Aubrey said with a smile. They both needed the caffeine, so she would keep an eye out for an opening. After lattes and breakfast, they settled in the living room to relax with some music. As Emily sat, Aubrey paused next to her. “Can I work on your shoulders? Take care of some tension?”
“That would be great.” Aubrey sat on the back of the couch and started at the base of her neck. Emily gave a relieved groan as a knot released. “Bree, I know how I acted last night, but you don’t have to ask permission for every touch. I’m sorry if my mood made you feel that pushed away.”
“Don’t worry about it, love. Everyone has moods. I just don’t want to force anything on you.” She found a knot in Emily’s right shoulder and moved her hands to concentrate on it.
“I promise I’ll say no if I don’t want something. But in general, you’re free to have any contact you want or need.” She groaned again as the knot in her shoulder gave way. When Aubrey dragged her teeth over her earlobe, she gave a very different groan. “Bree…”
“Do you want me to stop?” Aubrey asked quietly, her hands resting lightly on her shoulders.
“No! I just… are you sure?” A small, pernicious part of her mind told her she didn’t deserve affection after last night, but the rest of her was desperate for the reassurance and intimacy.
Aubrey moved from her perch to kneel over Emily’s lap and framed her face in her hands for a long, deep kiss. “I love you, Emily,” she murmured against her lips.
Emily grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, claiming a fierce, needy kiss meant to convey her urgency without words. Her mind and heart needed her partner’s touch more than her body did.
Aubrey responded to her urgency, trailing her nails down her arms to tug on the belt of her robe till it released. Pushing it open and off her shoulders, she dipped her head to graze her teeth over one taut peak, tongue flicking hard to elicit quiet moans and whimpers that sent fire coursing through her veins. Reaching down, she stroked gently, bringing forth louder, longer groans as Emily gripped her arms in her nails. “Let go. Come for me, Em,” Aubrey whispered as she sank her fingers into her partner, taking up a strong, slow rhythm.
Emily clawed at Aubrey’s back as she lifted her hips, chasing the release she needed. Voicing a hoarse cry, she gripped Aubrey tight as the world exploded. Aubrey claimed an aggressive kiss as she continued to thrust, until soon, her partner was whimpering and writhing beneath her as she came again.
Aubrey coaxed her to lie down next to her, enveloped in her arms. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, she murmured again, “I love you.” She ran her fingers through soft brown hair as Emily clung to her, breathing hard against her neck.
“That… was intense,” Emily panted. As she laid there catching her breath, she could feel that the insidious part of her mind had quieted, and she kissed Aubrey’s neck softly. Lifting her head, she met her partner’s eyes. “You always find a way to save me. I love you, Aubrey Posen.”