Chapter 2
The next week had been odd. The two girls barely spoke. They still sat next to each other in class, but barely spoke a word- if even at all. It worried Elphaba if she has been to hard on the girl. But also worried Galinda, mainly for the fact that she had zero recollection of what had happened that night. Just that when she had woken up, her roommate was nowhere to be seen and her head was pounding from a terrile hangover. It wasn't until Elphaba had returned that she remembered their plans to go into town together. She had felt terrible and apologized to her instantly.
“Elphie! You’re back,” she had smiled and finally rolled out of bed. In response, the girl nodded her head and unpacked a few of the groceries she had picked up at the store. “Oh Oz, Elphaba, I am so sorry- I just, forgot-”
“I know.” She had cut her roommate off, her tone sharp and cold. Galinda was terribly confused- she didn’t expect her to be that upset. It was just a few errands.
“Oh,” she took a step back. “Well, I’m sorry I didn’t wake up on time.” She started to rub her temples and went to the restroom to wash up.
“Is that all you’re sorry for?” She called, crossing her arms at the smaller blonde who look even more confused.
“Elphie! What are you talking about?” She whined, and all the girl could do was shake her head and turn around.
Once the clock hit 1am the previous night, Galinda could not even hold herself up, relying on Celeste to practically carry her. No one had ever seen her this drunk and intoxicatted, barely able to make any coherent sentences. Typically, Celeste had never taken Galinda back to their dorm. After the party, she would walk her to the small boat and they’d part ways. Sometimes, Galinda would try to convince her to come saying ‘maybe you can come with us? Take me home?’ in which she’d always respond it was getting late and she’d be okay with her friends.
So to Elphaba’s surprise, when Celeste had offered to take Galinda back to her apartment to make sure she was okay- Elphaba had denied the request, saying she could accompany Galinda in the ride back to the dormitory but not back to her apartment. However, Celeste did not want Galinda to return to the dorm but rather her own place, which infuriated Elphaba at the thought of something happening to her friend while deeply under the influence.
Which led to an argument outside the venue. Which led to Fiyero having to stop the two from yelling at who was taking the girl back home.
“I’ll take her back to my place,” Celeste offered, holding the girl up slightly.
“I think it’s in her best interest she just goes back to the dorm tonight.”
“Says who?”
“Me? Her… friend.” Elphaba responded, rolling her eyes and pulling her roommate gently from the girls grasp.
“She’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions.”
“She’s the drunkest she’s ever been!” Elphaba snapped, her voice rising. “You don’t care about her well-being, you just care about controlling her.”
“Excuse me? You don’t know anything about me or my intentions.” She furrowed her brows, pulling the poor girl back to her side. “And if anyone’s being controlling right now- it would be you.”
“I know enough,” Elphaba shot back.
“You know what-” the girl started, and released Galinda from her grasp to step closer to Elphaba.
“Okay! Enough!” Fiyero had stated, raising his voice as loudly as he could. “Elphaba and I will take Galinda home for tonight. And that is final.” He cleared his hands as their other friends watched from the sidelines. That was when Celeste had started to raise her voice back at the two. Which inevitably led to the blonde crying on the floor as the two argued in public. And of course, the only one to have put an end to this argument was Elphaba, as she watched her roommate cover her ears and cry at the scene in front of her.
Rushing to her air, she laid a gentle hand on her shoulders, “Hey, it’s okay.” The girl had told her softly, “It’s okay.” With her other hand she cautiously reached for the blondes hand, grabbing it firmly. “It’s okay, Galinda.” She repeated, until she slowly opened her eyes. “Come on, we’re going home.” She told the girl, helping her up to her feet. In response, Galinda had slightly stumbled, wiping a tear off her face.
“I want to go home with Celeste.” She sniffled, causing Elphaba to flinch.
“No, it’d be better to come back with us, okay?”
“I don’t want to!”
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. We need to leave.”
“Why do you always have to ruin everything?” she slurred, her voice cracking slightly. This causing Elphaba to feel like someone had punched her in the stomach. “And, y-you just stand there, judging everyone. No wonder you don’t have any friends besides me!”
“Hey! I think that’s enough!” I voice cut in, Fiyero who was clearly concerned over the two’s bickering. Glancing over at Celeste whose arms were crossed tightly, her tattooed arms proudly on display. “I think you need to leave,” he said firmly.
Celeste raised an eyebrow. “She doesn’t want me to leave.”
“I don’t care,” Fiyero shot back, stepping closer. His usual “chill” demeanor was gone, replaced by authority. “She’s drunk, and you’re not helping. Go.”
She stood there for a second, watching the pleading girl leaning now against the wall. “Fine! Fine, I will leave.” She clasped her hands together. “I’ll see you next Friday, babe.” She took a step to give her a kiss goodbye, in which Fiyero stood in front of her and pointed in the opposite direction.
“I’ll get her back to the dorms,” Elphaba said quietly, her voice barely audible.
“You don’t have to-” Fiyero began, but she cut him off with a shake of her head.
“I’ll do it,” she insisted, stepping toward Galinda, mumbling incoherently.
Elphaba reached out to steady her, her touch gentle despite the ache in her chest. “Come on, Galinda,” she said softly. “Let’s go home.”
“Okay, I’ll fetch the boat.” He said, and walked off while the two girls waited. Galinda complaining that Elphaba had ruined her plans and Elphaba trying her best to ignore her. The ride had consisted of the group tending to Galinda, who every few seconds, slurred voice would rise, saying her name with with annoyance, each time Elphaba’s jaw tightened a little more.
“...Elphaba...always so...serious...” Galinda mumbled, her head leaning against the side of the boat. “...doesn’t even like me...” she continued talking to Nessa and her boyfriend who just nodded along trying to get her to stop talking. “...and I dont even need her….. I like celeste!....” and “...i didn’t she’d be this boring…. Too much…”
Fiyero cleared his throat, drawing Elphaba’s attention away from the drunken ramblings. “So, uh, what are your plans for tomorrow?”
“What?” She asked, not really paying attention to the boy.
“I said, what are your plans for tomorrow… I overheard you going into town, what for?”
“Nothing much.” she responded shortly.
“Oh come on, Elphaba.” He let out a laugh, trying to lighten her mood, “I just want to know where you’ll be off to.”
“Well, we,” she emphasised the we loudly, glanicing over at Galinda who was now crying about how tired she was, “were supposed to go into town for the farmers market to get a few groceries.” She sighed. “And Galinda had seen some ad about hand picking fresh strawberries so we were going to go to the field since it was only this weekend.”
“Ah, I’m sorry, Elphaba.” He looked back at the girl who was starting to slump over.
“It’s fine, that’s what I get for trying to do something fun with the-” she paused. “With a friend.”
“Friend?” He asked, “Oddly intimate, hm?” He sort of smiled as her and she hesitated before deciding to tell Fiyero.
“Yes, well- she is my friend but, I may like her as just a friend too.” She admitted, tears fighting the urge to pour from her face as she thinks about what Galinda is saying about her.
“That much I figured.” He chuckled, making her turn to him fully.
“What? You knew?
“You’re not exactly subtle, Elphaba.”
She frowned, her cheeks flushing. “I wasn’t trying to be obvious.”
“You weren’t,” he assured her quickly. “Not to everyone, anyway.” He winked at her and she pursed her lips.
“Well, it doesn’t matter- she obviously loves Celeste.”
“Well Celeste, isn’t very good for her.” He pauses, “Everyone saw it tonight, and I’m sure she will too.”
Elphaba had just nodded as they arrived back at the university. Elphaba had pulled Galinda up and she tried to protest but lost. She had also let Fiyero assist the girl to their room, telling Galinda to behave, that Elphaba was a nice girl doing what was best for her, but all she could do was roll her eyes and start singing loudly.And when they had to cover her mouth to stop singing, it just made sing even louder.
Which led to now, the week of distance. Galinda had still not recalled much about that night, and when she had asked her roommate what was wrong, all she could do was roll her eyes and walk away. Elphaba had even stopped sharing her notes from Dr. Dillomands class that week. When Galinda asked to borrow them, Elphaba didn’t even look up from her book, simply responding, “Maybe you should start taking your own.”
She also had not eaten lunch with her either. When she asked her friends, they just exchanged awkward glances and said she should talk to her roommate, saying “it wasn’t their place” which frustrated the girl even more. And when she approached Elphaba about not eating with them, all she said was, “I haven’t been in the mood for company.” and muttered something under her breath.
All the poor girl could think about was, why was everything acting as if she had done something terrible? What possibly could’ve happened? It’s not like she had killed anyone! She had even asked Celeste, admitting she had no memory of the night. But all she said was that Elphaba was being dramatic. That Celeste had wanted to take her back to her apartment, but Elphaba wouldn’t allow it. And when Galinda asked why she wouldn’t allow it (because that was so not Elphaba) she said it was because Galinda had been too drunk, but that shortly after she let her friends take her home and nothing more. That it was all a big misunderstanding.
“So… you think she’s just mad because of you?” Galinda asked hesitantly.
“That’s exactly it,” Celeste said with a laugh. “Don’t worry about her babe, she’ll get over it eventually. I can tell how uptight she gets.”
Galinda forced a laugh in response, but as the call ended, she felt more conflicted than ever. On Thursday when her roommate had come home from studying at the library, she went straight to shower then to her bed.
“Elphie,” Galinda had whispered one both of them laid in their separate beds. For almost a week now they had not shared the same bed, and it deeply hurt Galinda that they weren’t close to each other. “Elphaba?” She said a little louder this time, her voice cracking slightly. “Will you please talk to me, Elphie?”
Her roommate didn’t move, not wanting to talk to the girl right now. “Just go to bed, Galinda.” Her words sharp, making Galinda feel uneasy and hurt.
“Well,” her voice shook, “I don’t understand why you are so mad at me. I keep asking but no one will tell me, and I don’t remember anything. Please Elphie-”
“Can you just drop it?” She snapped, turning over to face the blonde who was clearly crying in her own bed. And part of her felt bad for her, seeing her so upset. But she tried to ignore that feeling and thought about all the terrible things she said to her.
“No, Elphie please- y-you’re my best friend and.. And… I just want to know, and I want to m-make things better.” She paused. “And I’m sorry that I hurt you, I really really am I don’t know what I did but- I promise you I didn’t mean it, you are my best friend, and- and I dont want you to be mad at me, Elphaba.” She took deep breaths, trying to recollect herself. “You won’t ever forgive me, will you?” Galinda continued, her voice thick with desperation. “Whatever I did must have been so awful, but I don’t even know what it was! How am I supposed to fix it if you won’t tell me?” She was practically pleading and Elphaba hadn’t wanted to repeat the words said but if the girl wanted it so bad, then she would.
“Fine, do you really want to know?”
“Yes,” she gasped, “Please, I’ll do anything.”
“Okay, and before I tell you- just know, just because you don’t remember doesn’t mean I forgot. And you can’t take back what you said.” She sat up from her bed staring at the girl across from her, who still tried to hide the fact that we was crying. Galinda’s heart pounded extra heard she was sure her roommate could hear it.
“Okay, what did I say?” She asked caustisly, not even knowing if she truly wanted to know.
“Well for starters, you told me I was ruining you night by being too boring, then called me a ‘debby downer’.” Elphaba started, counting on her hand the list of things that had happened. Galinda listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt. “Then you told me I was overreacting for not wanting you to go home with you sober ass girlfriend while you were drunk out of your mind- which A. we barely know her and B. she had been passing you drinks all night, so… not cool.” She held three fingers up. “Then, you say to stop acting like your mother- in front of Celeste and Fiyero,” she holds up four fingers. “Then! You tell me I'm controlling, and tell me and Fiyero you don’t need our permission to have fun.” Six fingers. “Then, when we tell you that ‘hey, that wasn’t very nice’ you tell us to leave, that you’ll have just as much fun without me dragging you down. But, you know what I do?” She pauses, “Stay. Because what kind of friend would I be leaving my extremely drunk friend out at a place like that. And as I am trying to safely take you home, you tell me yet again- I am ruining everything! That I judge everyone, which okay, maybe sometimes I do, but never the people I love!” Eight fingers now, and Galinda hopes this is the end because she really can’t take anymore- but the girl continues. “You completely embarrassed me in front of all our friends after I helped you from crying on the floor, then continued to talk about how terrible I was the whole ride home.” Ten fingers later, then she had put her hands down.
“Elphie I-”
“Oh and how could I forget- that this is why I don’t have friends.” She reminded her. “You don’t have to apologize,” Elphaba said before the blonde could speak. Her voice was quieter now. “I don’t want you to say you’re sorry just because you feel guilty. It doesn’t change anything.”
The room fell silent except for Galinda’s soft sobs. Elphaba watched her for a moment, her chest tightening with guilt even though that is exactly what had happened, and the girl had asked.
“Go to bed, Galinda,” she said again, softer this time. She turned back to face the wall, her hands trembling slightly. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”
Shortly after, Elphaba had fallen asleep. Galinda on the other hand could not sleep. Why hadn’t she remembered? Why hadn’t she seen how much it had hurt Elphaba? Galinda curled up tighter, her body shaking with quiet sobs. How could I have said those things to her? She thought. She knew she had to make it up to her but how? Maybe tomorrow she would invite her back to the Ozdust and make things better- she would not get drunk and they could have fun together! Galinda needed to talk to someone about this but the only person she could, was upset with her. She grabbed her journal and began to write.
Dear Journal,
I hope this finds you well. Well, i suppose it cant, you are simply a paper… but thankfully, you cannot judge me because well, you can not talk. Thank goodness. I have done something terribly awful, and what's worse…. I don't remember. We all had gone to the Ozdust on friday, like we normally do, but this time was different. I got too drunk and got completely wasted with celeste. And i said terrible things i never should haVe said to the one person i truly love. I am an awful person. I love her! I love elphaba so much, she is my person. More than anyone else, more than celeste. She is nice to me, and kind to me, she helps me… and all for me to do this to her. I understand if she never wants to be my friend again but, i will never forgive myself.
Although i enjoy my time with celeste, she’s not her. Never will be. And maybe that’s what makes things so hard. I’ve stated this in my previous entries but, i thought it had gone away. That feeling. That feeling of pure love when i see her. That, if i had it my way me and elphaba could definitely be more than friends, however i dont think elephaba ever thought that… and i doubt she will ever think that now. That's why celeste has been great, to get my mind off of her. And tomorrow, she said it would be a special night- and whatever that night entails i hope i can bring elphaba so all three of us can just be okay.
I know that i was stupid that night- very stupid. I can’t even believe it. Now she will never know how i truly feel, and i guess that’s okay. I wish i had never gotten drunk that night. It has ruined everything. Tomorrow i will talk to celeste and apologize for my behavior. And also to my friends, for being so rude. Especially to Fiyero, who even though we’ve been broken up for some time now, was able to take care of both me and elphaba.
Oh oz, i can’t stop crying and now my tears have wet you! My poor journal. I hope you don’t judge me too much… even though… you cant, right. Ugh. tomorrow will be better. However, it seems it is tomorrow, as it’s 4am as i am writing this. BUT, i will apologize again tomorrow and hold myself accountable for the things i said and did. And i will swear to never ever do them again, and if i break it she can never speak to me again. And i will bring her some earl gray tea, the one she loves so much from the market in town as a peace offering. And even though we missed the strawberry fields, we can go to the poppy fields next week, just us, since it’s her favorite flower. Surely she will forgive me. And of course, invite her to the ozdust tomorrow.
Galinda had set the journal down. Her tears had momentarility subsided as she focused on her writing. Eventually, she had laid back down and closed her eyes, but in the morning- she had only gotten barely an hour of sleep. So she left early to town, for her friends tea.