When Regulus applied to work at Bolan Secondary School, he had no idea what he had just gotten himself into. He finished Uni earlier than most of his friends and was mighty proud of his Teaching Degree in Mathematics and Physics but wasn’t ready to work as a teacher just yet, so he took it upon himself to travel all across Europe with his older brother Sirius to a) get out of the godforsaken UK and b) see all the beautiful countries on the continent he lived on.
Sirius and Regulus were always very close, which was probably due to their parents’ horribly abusive behaviour. Their family was rough, to say the least. Both of their bodies were covered in scars their mother had inflicted upon them because of their misbehaviour. Regulus hated it. He hated his body. He hated the way his mother had marked him. Made him feel horrible about himself. If it wouldn’t have been for Sirius, he probably would not have made it out of the Black house alive. Sirius was his rock. He gave him comfort when he needed it most. He advised him and helped him out in every way he could, emotionally and financially. Regulus could have never gone to Uni if Sirius would not have been there.
Whenever they got in trouble as children, Sirius would take the full blame upon himself each and every time. As a boy, Regulus didn’t quite understand why he did it - why he would always turn the other cheek just so that Sirius would get hurt instead of Regulus, but he was thankful for it. Once he was 13, something changed. He saw Sirius in a different light. Foolish as he was, he used to see Sirius only as his older brother and helper.
One day Regulus was sitting on his bed, in their shared bedroom, reading one of the many magazines his brother had bunkered in between his schoolbooks when he heard that Sirius browsed through his record collection. “I just got this new vinyl, Reg, I bet you‘ll love it”, he heard his brother say as he put the black, circular object on the turntable and carefully placed the needle on the edge of it seconds before Regulus could hear a familiar voice begin to sing. Regulus loved David Bowie more than any other artist out there.
Sirius watched his brother’s face carefully, not wanting to miss any of his reactions. That was when Regulus realised that Sirius was more than just his brother. He was his family. He was the only family he’s ever had. Probably ever will have. Walburga and Orion never counted. They were superfluous. And on top of that, Sirius was his friend. Sirius cared about him. Sirius loved him for who he was, rather than who he was pretending to be. From that moment on Regulus looked up to him more than he ever did in his life.
“And? How do you like it so far?”, Sirius asked expectantly, now sitting next to him on the bed with the record in his hands. Regulus stuck his hand out, signalising to his 16-year-old brother that he wanted to look at the album cover himself. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something about David Bowie made his stomach twist a bit. Walburga used to tell him about all the disgusting men that were attracted to other men and how they should be imprisoned for their vile fetishes while he would sit at her feet and nod, not understanding why it was that much of a big deal to her. After all, the men who were interested in other men wouldn’t really get in her way, at all, actually, since she was not a man, but he would not dare to say anything, so he just kept quiet.
“I love it!”, Regulus smiled and saw Sirius’ face light up. He loved seeing his brother being happy more than anything in the world. “I saw it at the store and knew that you just needed it”, Sirius chuckled and leaned back onto the bed and got comfortable. Regulus inspected the album cover, letting his fingers run along David’s facial features, and sighed. He was scared that his mother would find out about his attraction to David one day. He would not survive that day once it would come. He had been thinking about talking to Sirius about it for a while, but he didn’t know how to. It wasn’t just David, obviously, there was this boy in his class that sent shivers down Regulus’ spine whenever he smiled at him, but Regulus just assumed that he was being polite.
Something he loved about their relationship, now and then, was how much they gossiped. They knew about every single detail of the friends of the other and could spend entire afternoons just trash-talking about people they would never actually get to know. Regulus went back to reading the magazine, admiring the beautiful women in their long dresses when Sirius began to rant about his friend’s new boyfriend called Peter. “He is so ugly, inside and out, I’m telling you, Reg”, Sirius sighed and played with the small Rubik’s cube Regulus kept on his bedside table. “Mhm? and what makes you say that?”, Regulus replied, looking up from the thin paper to make sure that Sirius would not ruin the cube. He had been working on it for days and was not ready for all of his work to go to waste. Sirius rubbed his eyes and shook his head.
“The boy I’m currently going out with, Fabian, I think I’ve told you about him, told me that he has a friend that told him that Peter has cheated on all of the girls he’s been with. Also, his breath stinks horribly, so he really has nothing going for him”, Sirius laughed whole-heartedly and got up to turn the record around.
Regulus felt as if his heart had just stopped. His cheeks turned bright red instantly. “You’re ... dating a boy?”, he asked coyly. They never really talked about Sirius’ partners. He never heard him talk about them to their parents, either. Regulus always just assumed that the girls he would be with weren’t worth the Black’s time, but at that moment, he realised he was very wrong.
“Yes, I am, Reggie – I’m sure I’ve mentioned him before”, Sirius replied and shrugged. “But mother says we can’t do that”, Regulus heard himself say and at that point, even he could not believe the words anymore. “She might say so, but when was the last time I did anything she wanted me to do? Reg, I think there’s something you need to hear”, Sirius said, confidence written all over him, and sat up so the two of them could look at each other properly.
“What is it? Come on Siri, spit it out!”, Regulus demanded. He was never the patient one of the Black children.
“Whatever mother has told you is utter bullshit. Complete bullshit. Men can love men, women can love women, people can love people. It’s none of anybody’s business. Old hags like mother make all of our lives a living hell by making it hard for humans to be happy but believe me when I tell you that they can go fuck themselves. I know that the two of us have never really ... experienced love and kindness, but ever since I realised that it doesn’t matter who I love, I’ve felt better about myself – and I don’t know if you’ve ever been interested in anybody, but I need you to know that it doesn’t matter who it is. As long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter. Fuck everyone else. I wish somebody could have told me that when I was your age, the least I can do now is be that somebody for you”
Regulus just stared at Sirius. He didn’t know what to say. He had never heard anything like that before. It made him feel amazing. His heart was racing. “If you ever want to talk about ... you know, that stuff, just know that I am here”, Sirius added quietly and smiled at him warmly. Regulus had never felt this loved before.
“As long as you don’t crush on me, though – would be fucking gross”, Regulus heard his brother laugh and rolled his eyes.
...
After returning from their travels, Regulus applied at as many schools as possible, while Sirius finished his studies to become an architect. He was a skilled painter but wanted to create greater things than just paintings or exhibitions. When he told Regulus about that, he thought that Sirius didn’t mean “greater” literally until he showed him the designs he had been working on.
Sirius moved to Budapest just after Regulus got his job, but that didn’t stop him from seeing his brother on Facetime. Unfortunately, due to his occupation and his talent, Sirius was traveling a lot and couldn’t just come over to Regulus’ whenever they felt like it.
With Sirius being out of the country, Regulus had a few other friends to turn to, such as Severus Snape and Barty Crouch, two guys he met at Uni. They were very different from Sirius, which took a while for Regulus to get used to. While Sirius would build him up and support him, the two of them would judge him. They reminded him of his parents, but he couldn’t really say why.
In order for him to work at Bolan Secondary School, he needed to move away from the city he grew up in. Not that it was impossible for him to drive from London to Bristol every day, but his ecological footprint was big enough as it was, and he didn’t have the money for that much petrol anyway.
The flat he moved into was really nice. It wasn’t big, but it already felt more homely than his London apartment ever did. He decorated it moderately, trying his best to keep it simple, but found himself covering an entire wall with photos of him and Sirius throughout their lives. Regulus even put up a selfie of him and Severus but made sure that it wouldn’t be at the centre of the collage he had created. He was very happy with how it ended up looking like but left space so that new memories would also get to have their time to shine.
His first day of school was terrifying. He had visited the school a few days prior to check everything out and even met some of his new colleagues but that didn’t stop him from worrying.
As it was tradition, all of the students gathered in the sports hall and chatted about their summers. All of the teachers stood in a semicircle in front of the students and waited for the headmaster to greet the children. Regulus was so nervous he almost felt like he was about to faint. He was wearing black trousers and a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up his arms so he wouldn’t look like a schoolboy. When Regulus looked around to see the other teachers, he realised that the woman next to him was smiling at him. Her ginger hair reached down to her collar bones and suited her face beautifully. She was a very gorgeous woman. ”You’re doing great”, she whispered and patted his shoulder reassuringly.
“First days are always the hardest. I’m Lily Evans Potter”, Lily grinned and looked over her shoulder, making Regulus’ eyes follow hers until they both looked at the brown-haired man on the other side of the semicircle that was struggling to keep his glasses on his nose. “And that is my husband James Potter”, she explained. “The man next to him, the blonde, his name is Remus Lupin, and the one with the thin lips is Gilderoy Lockhart – he’s a bit of a handful”, she added and continued to tell him about the other people. The rest of the teachers were called Frank Longbottom and Dorcas Meadowes.
“Thank you, really. I’m Regulus Black”, he introduced himself and watched the curious children look him up and down. “What an interesting name! Minnie is about to start her speech, but how about we meet in the lounge for a coffee during the big break for a chat?”, she suggested as the white-haired woman walked to the centre of their circle and cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. Regulus shot Lily a kind smile and nodded before he focused on the headmistress in front of him.
“Good day, my dear students and welcome back to Bolan’s”, she smiled and the children smiled back. She must have had a lot of power over them, Regulus thought to himself. “I can see many new faces in this room and I am very looking forward to meeting each and every one of you. For those who do not know me, my name is Minerva McGonagall and I am the headmistress of this school”.
She went on to tell the children about their timetables and where the most essential classrooms were before he heard her announce the new teachers.
“Alongside our usual staff, we have the pleasure of Regulus Black joining us this year. Please, give him a warm welcome”, she smiled and cocked her head to the side, giving him the signal to step closer and introduce herself. He was sweating bullets. The kids started to clap.
“As you’ve already heard, my name is Regulus Black, and I will be your mathematics teacher. I’m excited about being here and I’m sure this year will be great”, he smiled and watched the children grin and nod. Minerva patted his shoulder, just like Lily did moments before, and sent him back after having whispered a quiet “well done”.
The rest of the day went great. During the break, he chatted with Lily, James and Remus about each other’s lives, found out about Remus’ love for records, Lily and James’ baby, and told them about his brother.
Throughout the semester the four of them became close friends. Every weekend they would cook for each other, go on hikes or walks and visited to the playground with little Harry almost every other day.
Regulus was especially fond of Remus. Something about him reminded him of Sirius. They both radiated so much love and adoration for the people they surrounded themselves with.
A week before Christmas the teachers celebrated their own little holiday party. Regulus loved it. He had only ever celebrated Christmas with his parents and Sirius, and then it was just the two of them for years and he was interested to see what a different Christmas party would be like.
As it turned out, it was very different from what he was used to. Christmas music was playing in the background and lots of plates covered with cookies were placed on every surface in the teacher’s lounge. They even had a teachers Secret Santa. He was James’ and got him a book about mythical creatures because he talked about them more than anyone else in the world. James was delighted when he opened it and hugged Regulus lovingly. “Thanks, mate, this is really, really cool. I’ll read it to Harry tonight, even if he won’t understand anything”, James laughed and let go of the black-haired man. “You’re welcome”, Regulus smiled. He was very happy about having brought this much joy to his new friend.
Only seconds later, Minerva walked up to him and handed him a carefully wrapped package. “Merry Christmas, Regulus. You are a great addition to this school”, she said with a smile on her face. His heart swelled up. In the course of the last few months, he often found himself wondering what his life would have been like if his mother would have been anything like the headmistress of the school.
Making sure not to break it, Regulus unwrapped the object in his hands and heard himself gasp. It was a painting she had done of him. The background was blurred, so the focus was on him. He didn’t know anything about art but knew that in order to create something so beautiful one needed to be very talented and skilled. “I don’t even know what to say, Minerva. This is ... this is insane”, he mumbled and tried to look at her but found his eyes being glued to the painting. “Oh dear, it is nothing. I’m glad you like it”, she chuckled and watched him try to find the right words. “Thank you, really. And Merry Christmas to you, too”, Regulus grinned and looked around the room. People were drinking punch, dancing to the music and sharing stories. He could not believe that he deserved this. “I will leave you to it then, Regulus. The punch is tempting me”, the headmistress said and left, not waiting for a response.
“Hey Regulus!”, he heard a voice call from behind him just after he left for a smoke break. He didn’t like that he was smoking but he picked it up at Uni and couldn’t be bothered to stop just yet. Regulus turned his head to the side and saw that Remus was approaching him. Remus never smoked cigarettes but always had a blunt with him. It was a mystery to Regulus how he hid the smell. “Hey mate”, Regulus smiled and looked at his friend. They had become close over the last few months.
“Has Lily told you about the plans for the 25th already?”, Remus asked and leaned against the railing that Regulus was holding onto. He took a big drag of his cigarette and shook his head. “No, not yet, what are you guys doing?”, Regulus asked while he watched the blonde light his joint and guide it to his mouth before looking at his own cigarette. “Nothing big, just the Potters and me having sharing food and wine. We’d love for you to come”, Remus told him and nodded as if he were to agree with what he just said. “That sounds really lovely!”, Regulus started and turned his head to the blonde who was stargazing.
“But I don’t want to disturb your quality time. My brother will be in town, anyway, so I won’t be alone anyway”, he concluded and finished the rest of his cigarette. “The infamous Sirius Black”, Remus laughed. Regulus raised his eyebrows in confusion. “I’m not making fun of him, mate, don’t even know the bloke. I just know that you talk about him a lot. Please, still consider our offer, we’d love to have you. And your brother, of course. If he’s only half as lovely as you make him seem it will be a lovely evening”, Remus said calmly and smiled. “I’ll ask Sirius if he’s down. I’ll text you once I have an answer – thank you for the offer, either way”, Regulus replied and leaned against the wall. They both then proceeded to look at the stars for a couple of minutes until Remus finished his spliff and went back inside.
...
“Hey Reggie, how’s it hanging?”, Sirius asked his phone and watched his younger brother roll his eyes. He was sitting at his kitchen table in Budapest and played with the handle of the giant mug he just poured some tea into. They hadn’t spoken for three days because of Sirius’ ridiculous time management (which he was very sorry for). “Good day to you too, Siri”, Regulus replied and laughed. Sirius could make out that he was on his couch and heard the tv playing quietly in the background.
Sirius took a sip of his drink. It reminded him of home, or whatever home was. “What have you been up to?”, Regulus asked and waited patiently for a reply. Sirius loved when he would see his brother’s expression softening. “Well, my current employer László wanted me to work on this new museum concept they are planning on building, so I have been awake at ungodly hours just to incorporate their wishes in my sketches”, Sirius sighed, daring not to look to the other side of the table where the sketches were currently placed. “But apart from that, I broke things off with István two days ago. Not that we were a proper thing or anything, we only went on two dates, but my energy just wasn’t compatible with his”, he added and brushed his fingers through his hair. “What about you? Anything new?”, Sirius asked and watched Regulus try to remember what had been happening for the last few days.
Moving to Hungary made him feel uneasy for a long time. After all, he didn’t want to be so far away from Regulus, but the job offer he got was everything he ever wanted. Regulus had to remind him that he wasn’t 13 anymore, but a 27-year-old adult, and that he could live by himself and didn’t need to be looked after constantly.
“Not really. The Christmas party I told you about was fun, I got a really nice painting of me”, he shrugged and turned his camera around to show him the picture he had hung on the wall. Sirius loved it. It captured his smile and energy beautifully. “Looks just like you! You’re a bit uglier, though”, Sirius grinned and watched his younger brother roll his eyes once again. Regulus apparently decided to ignore his comment and went on to ask him, “When does your plane land?”. The older brother then went on to check his emails and scrolled through them to find the time. “3:15 pm UK time”, he answered and closed the app, clicking back onto the Facetime icon to see Regulus properly.
“Great. Oh, by the way, my friends invited us over for Christmas and I was wondering if that would be okay for you”, Regulus asked and leaned back, now completely laying on the couch, his phone resting on his chest, giving his brother a ridiculous view of himself.
Sirius thought about it for a short second before he answered, “Why not? I’m sure it’ll be fun. The ones with the baby, right?”.
“Yeah, exactly. Another one will be there too, his name is Remus, and I swear to god Siri he’s 150% your type. I wish I were kidding. Down to a tee”, Regulus laughed and watched his older brother blush. “Do you have a picture of him?”, Sirius asked and warmed his fingers with the heat of the mug. “Yeah, but I won’t send it to you, because I want to see your reaction when you see him”
Sirius rolled his eyes just as his brother did moments before, but didn’t really react any more than was necessary. They chatted for another few minutes before Regulus hung up to go for a walk. Sirius put his phone away and sighed. He didn’t really know what he just agreed to. They were Regulus’ friends, and he feared that he would be out of place. Of course, he wouldn’t say anything because during their countless daily FaceTime calls Regulus would never shut up about them. Sirius was very happy for him. Regulus never had many friends, which didn’t concern Sirius but rather made him feel sorry for him. When Regulus first mentioned Severus and that other bloke, Sirius hated them immediately. They used him just like their parents did, so when Regulus began to tell him about his colleagues that were not just being nice but also treated him like a friend, Sirius could finally let out the breath he had been holding since he moved out of the UK.
He would leave to go to the airport at 10 in the morning tomorrow, so he had plenty of time to not pack his bags and procrastinate until it would be too late and would worry about everything. With that thought in his mind, he walked over to his couch and let himself fall onto it before he turned on the tv and closed his eyes to nap.
...
It was the 25th and Sirius hated airports. He despised them. They were so very unhygienic. The black-haired man sighed, took out his left earbud and walked up to the counter to get his tickets. Once he went through the security and body check he sat down at one of the random bars and ordered himself a beer.
Got my beer, plane boarding in 30 xx, he texted his younger brother before chugging down one-fourth of his drink.
Siri, it’s 9:30 🙄, Regulus replied shortly after.
Merry Christmas❤️, Sirius replied and laughed loudly. It must have been a weird sight, seeing this random man sitting at the far end of a bar drinking beer before the time has double digits and laughing at his own messages, but Sirius wouldn’t have it any other way.
He was looking forward to meeting Sirius’ friends, he really was. He just hoped that he wouldn’t stop them from having a good time, since he was just a stranger to them. The cold drink in his hand tried got warmer and warmer by the minute so Sirius had to stop self-loathing at one point in order to finish it while it still tasted nice. Without him paying proper attention, he opened the new game he downloaded the other day and began to build his village.
“FLIGHT 1562 TO LONDON IS BOARDING NOW”, he heard the announcer say when he made his villagers put up a new little townhouse. Silly little farmers, he thought to himself as he put his headphones back on and made his way to the gate.
Because he stayed up till the wee hours of the morning, Sirius slept for the entirety of the plane ride. The lad that was sitting next to him didn’t seem to mind either because he did the same.
As he got off the plane, he felt the cold air against his skin and shuddered. He was home.
“SIRI!!!”, he heard his little brother shout at the top of his lungs from the other side of the room when Sirius walked underneath the yellow “ARRIVAL” sign and couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He almost dropped his bag in excitement. The brothers ran up to each other and Regulus jumped into Sirius’ arms the way he always did when they met after they had been separated. “You bastard”, Sirius laughed and pulled his brother off of him. “You’re calling ME a bastard? You haven’t been in England for what, 3 months? And I’ve visited Hungary twice in that time”, Regulus laughed and took Sirius’ bag out of his hand.
Sirius loved their dynamic. He had missed Regulus more than he would have liked to admit. Even though he has his friends in Budapest who he loves very dearly, he still would love to have his baby brother around to prank and fool everyone the way they did when they were teenagers.
After walking across the airport parking lot, they got into Regulus’ car. Sirius immediately connected his phone to the car via Bluetooth so that he could play the newest music he discovered that he was dying to show Regulus. “Dinner is at 6, so we have about 2 and a half hours left to go home and for you to get freshened up”, Regulus declared and bopped his head to the beat. Sirius nodded appreciatively. “What’s that song? Who’s the artist?”, Regulus asked and looked to the side, seeing his brother move to the music as well as he could in the limited space of his car seat.
“Mountain of The Sun by Greta Van Feet - they’re really fucking cool, Reg”, Sirius said and began to sing along. Oh, how he had missed this.
Once they arrived at Regulus’, Sirius immediately showered. He hated the sticky sweat that covered his body whenever he flew anywhere. Regulus had given him some towels and a toothbrush because Sirius never bothered to bring his own and put on the kettle for the both of them. While the water was covering his body, Sirius thought back at all the happy times the two of them shared, for example when he taught Regulus how to write his name. They had so much fun with it that they covered the entire floor of their room with the red marker. Walburga wasn’t very happy about that.
When he got out of the shower, got dressed, and walked into the living room with his hair still being wet, Regulus was sitting on the couch with his mug in his hand and browsed through Instagram.
“So, tell me about my dream man then”, Sirius grinned and sat on the armrest. “Well, I won’t tell you too much, because you should find out about him yourself, but he is blonde, has brown eyes, has curly hair, he listens to alternative music - most of the artists I’ve never heard of before, he ... “, Regulus said and looked across the room, trying to find more to say.
“... He has a cat, I think. And also, he wears glasses but prefers his contacts. I won’t tell you more”, Regulus winked at his brother. “Bastard”, Sirius mumbled. He didn’t know if he should believe anything Regulus was saying, but when he went to get ready properly, he made sure to look his best just in case.
...
Remus sighed. The Blacks would arrive in less than thirty minutes and he really didn’t feel like getting up. Lucky for him, he lived in the flat just above the Potters, so at least he didn’t have to walk far to join the get-together.
“Remmie, the blue or the green tie?”, Remus heard his friend shout from the bedroom. James had been freaking out about his outfit for almost twenty minutes now. Remus didn’t understand why. Nothing was different, really. Only that their new friend and his brother would join them. “Green!”, he shouted back as he leaned out of the window and took a big drag of his blunt before he stretched his arms out. He was wearing a brown sweater and a pair of green corduroy trousers that went well with his black dress shoes. Lily made him wear those. Little Harry was still sitting on the couch, trying his hardest to fill in the blank spaces of his drawing when Remus sat next to him. The boy sighed in frustration and looked up at his uncle as if to say “Dude, help me, I can’t be bothered with this shit”. Remus laughed softly and took the red pen that Lily had given her son and filled in the spots Harry missed. “Sank yew”, Harry grinned and climbed onto Remus’ lap, covering his eyes with his tiny hands. “Wow! It’s so dark!”, Remus laughed and wiggled his hands in the air dramatically.
“Where are my boys?”, Lily shouted through the hallway and got a loud giggle back from his son back. “There you two are! My handsome boys”, Remus grinned at the expression. “Look at how good Mummy looks wearing that beautiful, green dress! It’s the same colour as your eyes!”, Remus said and pointed at Lily. Harry didn’t seem to care. Remus couldn’t blame him - clothes didn’t matter to him either.
He was just about to say something when they heard the doorbell ring. “Could you get it, babe? My hands are occupied”, James shouted from the kitchen as he put the casserole in the oven. Lily quickly sprinted to the door and opened it with a big smile on her face. “There you guys are! Merry Christmas!”, she sang and threw her arms around Regulus. “You look gorgeous, Lily”, Regulus complimented her and kissed her cheeks happily. Remus picked Harry up from the couch and walked to the front door so he could greet the other guests properly. That was when he saw him.
If Harry wouldn’t have been his godson, he would have dropped him on the floor. Whenever Regulus described his brother, he said that he looked very similar to him, just a bit taller and a bit more put together. He couldn’t have done him less justice. Sirius was tall, not as tall as him but still, his black hair was neatly put in a bun with a few strands being left out to shape his face, his bone structure must have been carved by the gods and the grey of his eyes reminded him of the sun trying to get through the fog on a rainy day. The suit he was wearing was fitted very nicely and hugged him in just the right places. It was black, but if you looked closer, the entire suit was covered in a red, Versace-esque lace pattern. Remus almost forgot how to breathe.
“Oh, hey Remus and Harry! This is Sirius, my brother”, Regulus smiled and hugged his friend and the boy as properly as he could without squishing the toddler. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Remus. Heard a lot about you”, Sirius smiled and stuck out his hand so that Remus could shake it. “Vice Versa”, Remus blurted out and gave the black-haired man the handshake he was going for. This would be a long night.
Once they all said their hello’s, James handed everyone a glass of champagne and they toasted to Harry and the holidays. Remus tried his best not to stare at the stranger for too long but found that very difficult. He looked similar to his friend, that was true, he could tell that they were brothers, but something about Sirius just tickled his fancy. Maybe it was the jawline that could cut through steel. He wasn’t sure.
They were seated next to each other on the dinner table and Remus almost forgot how to breathe when their knees touched. He normally never lost his cool like that. He didn’t understand what was going on.
“So, you are the Sirius Regulus never shuts up about, huh?”, James smiled as he put the meat and veggies on the table. “Sure am, but I’m positive that he talks about you guys more than he could ever mention me”, Sirius replied and grinned. He took a sip of his drink and looked at his brother who turned as bright red as a tomato. “Mate, we know exactly in which room you guys stayed at in Rome and what beverage you were drinking when Regulus decided to cut his own hair to safe time”, Remus added to James’ comment and saw Sirius raise his eyebrows. “Well, what can I say, the gin was great”, the black-haired man answered cockily and poured some of the sauce on the meat he just put on his plate.
From then on, the conversation flowed easily. Sirius shared embarrassing childhood stories, James told him the story of their honeymoon where they got on two separate ferries by accident and Lily even got Remus to talk about his record collection. “It’s not that big”, he shrugged. “Stop being humble! He has literally thousands of records at home. The shelves he uses to store them on take up more space than both of mine and James’ wardrobes”, Lily laughed and squeezed Remus’ shoulder. “Do you have a favourite artist?”, Sirius asked, his entire body turned in the blonde’s direction. “Well, not a definite one. I tend to hop from one artist to the other, dive into their music, memorise it and then find the next one. But lately, I’ve been really into T. Rex, you know, the band from the 70s”, Remus replied with a shy smile on his face, hoping that the other would know what he was talking about.
“No way, Moony”, Regulus gasped. “What? Did I do something wrong?”, the blonde asked rapidly. He didn’t mean to upset anyone. When he looked back at Sirius, he watched him take off his suit jacket and roll up the sleeve of his shirt. Once he was finished, Remus saw that Sirius had a very realistic tattoo of Marc Bolan just beneath his inner elbow. “Marc has been my idol ever since I saw his face on a record at the tiny, ugly record shop that was right next to where we lived as kids”, Sirius explained and instead of fixing his shirt, he just rolled up the other sleeve and leaned back. They continued their feast and settled in the living room about an hour later.
Lily put on some random Christmas playlist as they all sat down in front of the Christmas tree. The adults had agreed not to get each other anything but everyone insisted on getting gifts for Harry. “Wow! Look at that jumper, Harry! Isn’t it nice?”, James said excitedly and smiled in relief as her son’s face lit up. “He loves anything that has Lions on them”, Remus whispered to Sirius, who had not quite understood why the boy got so happy about the jumper. Sirius looked at the blonde and nodded. “Thanks for the explanation”, he whispered back and squeezed Remus’ thigh gently. Remus was ready to faint but hoped that Sirius would not notice.
Harry then went on to open Remus’ gift, which was a playmobile set and pointed at all the little figurines on the packaging. Remus’ heart melted. “Sank yew uncle Wemus and Santa!”, Harry blurted out and went on to hug his godfather. “You’re welcome, bud”, Remus grinned and felt Sirius’ eyes lingering on him. It made him feel as if his skin was on fire. He loved it.
Regulus had gotten him a few stuffed animals and a learning game and received a similar thank-you gesture as Remus did, only that `Wegulus’ sounded a lot funnier than `Wemus’.
Once the presents of the four were opened, Remus realized that there still was a package left under the tree. It took him a second to realise who had put it there until Harry held it up to James so that James would read who the gift was for. “For Harry, from Santa Clause and his old pal Sirius”, James read out and gave Sirius a kind smile. “You really shouldn’t have, mate”, James whispered before he handed the gift back to his son, who then decided to tear the packaging apart as if the world was about to end in five minutes. In his hands then was a box filled with tiny, colourful rubber ducks. Harry almost screamed in excitement and got up to hug Sirius. “Tell Santa I say sank yew!!”, Harry giggled and went back to open up the box. “How did you know that he loved those?”, Remus asked, leaning closer to the handsome man and looked watched his godson try and choose between the variety of plastic ducks in front of him. “A little birdie who’s four inches shorter than me told me”, Sirius replied with a smug expression on his face
Remus didn’t know what it was, but he was mesmerised by the other man. Before he could explore that thought deeper, he watched Sirius get up from the floor. “Is it okay for you guys if I go for a smoke? I’ll be just outside”, he asked and waited for a response. “Of course, that’s perfectly fine”, Lily smiled back while James nodded. “You know what, I’ll join you”, Remus said and got up as well. This was his chance to talk to the guy alone and he was not going to give that up now. Even if that meant that he would have to smoke a cigarette. Gross things. He couldn’t smoke another blunt because he would be absolutely baked once it would be finished but some sacrifices had to be made. The two of them grabbed their coats and stepped outside.
“Oh look, it’s snowing!”, Sirius said and held out his hand to catch the snowflakes. “Well done, Sherlock”, Remus laughed pulled the zipper up to his chin. No way was he getting a cold on Christmas day. They ended up standing next to each other as Sirius took out his pack of Chesterfield’s and offered one of them to Remus. The blonde smiled and thanked the other for the fag before he put it in his mouth and lit it. “Now that we’re all alone, I wanted to thank you”, Sirius said calmly. His voice was very quiet but confident.
“For what?”, Remus raised his eyebrows. He had no reason to thank him, he hardly knew the other. “For being as lovely as you are to Reg – he never really had anybody but me and I’m very happy that he found you guys”, Sirius explained and looked up to the taller man. Their eyes met and locked for a good minute before Remus had to look away before his entire body turned red. “You know, he does talk about you a whole lot”, Remus mumbled after almost sucking the nicotine out of the cigarette. “He’s been talking about you for a while now, too. Only the good things, of course. He even mentioned you and that you were exactly my type”, Sirius grinned and almost made Remus choke on the smoke. All of the coolness left his body as he began to cough. Sirius just raised his eyebrows as he took the last drag of his fag before he kicked it into the sewer. “Well? Am I?”, Remus asked, licking his lips. His heart was racing. He didn’t think he would ever have this conversation with anybody, ever. “Well, let’s just say that Regulus has never been wrong about that sort of stuff”, Sirius whispered. They had gotten awfully close. The tips of their shoes almost touched. “I’m freezing, do you mind if we go back in?”, Sirius asked just before their eyes met again. All Remus could do was nod and swallow.
Lily had put Harry to bed just after the two of them got back. The five adults spent the rest of the evening dancing, listening to music and having a good time. Sirius and Remus exchanged glances every other minute and smiled at each other when they weren’t included in the conversation that was currently happening.
Just before they said their goodbyes, Remus quickly ran into the kitchen and wrote down his number on a small piece of paper. When he returned, Regulus and Sirius were already wearing their coats and jackets. They all hugged and wished each other happy holidays. When it was Remus’ turn to say goodbye to Sirius, he smiled sheepishly and took Sirius’ hand in his to give him his phone number. “Text me”, he whispered and smiled as Sirius winked at him. “Thanks again, guys!”, Regulus said as they exited the flat and waved before Lily closed the door, sending them air kisses across the hallway.
...
“Holy fucking shit”, Sirius gasped as they got to the car. “I told you you’d like him”, Regulus chuckled and got in the driver’s seat. Sirius didn’t know what took over him. Once they had entered the flat, his entire body went numb as he saw Remus. He felt as if all of the fairy tales where the prince came to rescue the princess just came true but instead of the rescuing, they met at a Christmas party, instead of a prince it was plain old Sirius, and instead of a princess it was a 6’3 blonde handsome giant. It took him a lot not to just jump onto that big boy and kiss him until their lips went numb.
“He just gave me his number”, Sirius said after Regulus started the engine. “Don’t ghost him or I will never hear the end of it”, Regulus sighed and pulled away.
“Definitely wasn’t planning on doing so”
They sat in comfortable silence for a few seconds before Regulus began to speak. “So, how did you like them?”, he asked and turned up the music a bit. “Well, Lily was absolutely charming, James seems like a guy I could become best friends with, and Remus, apart from his irresistible looks, was really, really kind. You have amazing friends, Reggie”, Sirius yawned and tried to gather his thoughts properly. “Do you think they liked me?”, he asked and closed his eyes. He was fed properly and had enough to drink so that he knew that he’d fall asleep any second.
“They loved you, Siri. They really did. James already told me to bring you on New Year’s. I mean, only if you want to come, of course”, Regulus said and let out a long, deep sigh. “I’m so tired, Siri”
Sirius couldn’t even reply anymore because of how far away from being awake he was. When they arrived at Regulus’, he had to force himself out of the car and drag himself to the flat before he could fall onto the couch and fall asleep immediately.
When he woke up his head was ringing a bit. Had he had that much yesterday? He didn’t even realise. “Look alive, sunshine”, Regulus shouted from the kitchen and prepared breakfast. At that moment Sirius was more than just thankful that his younger brother’s love language was food.
He got up lazily and made his way to the bathroom. With his toothbrush in his mouth, he brushed his hair, braided it quickly and put it in two buns before he spat out the paste and washed his face. “What are you making?”, he shouted so that Regulus could hear him. “Your favourite”, he heard his brother respond seconds later. Fuck yes, he was getting pancakes.
Once he set the table and the both of them were sat down, they began to munch on the food like there was no tomorrow. They both could eat for a family of six. “Have you texted him already?”, Regulus asked in between bites. “What? Who?”, Sirius yawned before he took a sip of his drink. “You really are a dumbass”, Regulus sighed and sat up properly. “Remus gave you his phone number yesterday. I bet he’s waiting”, Sirius heard his brother tell him and took a deep breath before he got up to fetch his phone and find the piece of paper he had almost forgotten about. “There it is”, he mumbled as he stuck his hand in his left jacket pocket. As he walked back to the table, he quickly saved his phone number and went on to finish his meal.
“Delicious, Reggie. Thank you, really”, Sirius smiled wholeheartedly and opened his messages app. “What should I text him?”, he asked, not really directed at anybody. Sometimes saying things out loud made them easier for him. “I already introduced you guys. This is as far as I am willing to go”, Regulus shook his head while he grabbed the plates and put the dishes in the dishwasher. “Are you down with laying on the couch and watching shit shows all day?”, he suggested, already making his way to the couch. Sirius laughed. He really loved him.
“There’s nothing I’d rather do”, he replied and got back to the spot he woke up at. Regulus had already turned on the tv and watched whatever show was being played while all Sirius could think of was Remus and his long, beautiful eyelashes that batted against his cheekbone when he blinked. Maybe he inspected him a bit too intensely yesterday.
He gathered all of the four brain cells he had left and pulled out his phone. Sirius stared at the contact information for a good few minutes before he decided to fuck it and text him whatever came to his mind.
hey remus, it’s me sirius. it was lovely to meet you yesterday x, he typed and sent confidently. Maybe the X at the end was too much. Fuck, he thought to himself as he saw Kim Kardashian on the screen of the telly.
Only seconds later he heard his phone ding. It was a reply from Remus.
hey! the pleasure was all mine, i can assure you that :) did you get home safe yesterday?
Sirius smiled. He was so kind and thoughtful, he thought to himself and reached over to Regulus’ side and grabbed a handful of whatever his brother was snacking on.
yeah, but i can’t remember anything because i fell asleep immediately. regulus was monologing for a while until he realised that i was in my sleep coma lol
same here, i live above the potters but fell asleep on the couch once you guys left so they just kinda left me there haha
it would have been a fun sight to see lily and james try to carry you up to your bed tho
guess you’re right about that
The two of them chatted all day long. They didn’t talk about anything in particular but ended up sending each other memes and talked about music. Sirius loved it.
...
Three days later Regulus was on the balcony smoking a fag when he heard his phone ring.
“Sup James”, he said just after he picked up and put the phone to his ear. “Regulus, I swear to god, your brother has enchanted Moony”, James laughed on the other end of the end and made his friend smile instantly. “I could say the same about Moony, you know”, he replied and rolled his eyes. “What’s Moony been doing that makes you say that?”, Regulus asked and put the cigarette bud in the ashtray. “He’s been glued to his phone for three days and will only look up to show us what Sirius has sent us or to go have a wee”, James chuckled. “He’s got it bad for Sirius”, the dad added.
“Same with Sirius, but he also sometimes ditches the messages app to play his farm game. Anyway, who do you think will ask the other out first?”, Regulus asked his friend and got back in the flat. Sirius was currently taking a bath, so he didn’t need to worry about getting caught talking about him. “Oh, I really don’t know, mate. It’s a 50-50 chance, obviously, but my bets are on Sirius. Remus can’t ever get to the point when it comes to asking others out. Remember when he was with this Aaron guy and didn’t know if they were a proper thing for three months because he never really asked him about it?”, James ranted and made Regulus giggle like a child. “He’s coming, I gotta hang up, dibs on Sirius!”, James whispered quickly before the line went dead.
... meanwhile in the bathroom ...
Sirius was enjoying his steaming hot bath when he got a new message from Remus. They had been talking about Eddie Van Halen’s influence on modern rock for a few hours so when he opened their chat, he assumed it was another message about the late guitarist. He was very wrong.
His face brightened up immediately.
oh btw sirius i was thinking, you know how we’re invited to the potters’ new year’s party, right? would you be up for meeting earlier for a drink and then going to theirs together?
Sirius’ cheeks were bright red.
are u asking me on a date, mr lupin?
essentially, yes. (please please please don’t make me regret it or james will make fun of me for years)
wow, putting pressure on me already haha
fuck, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it like that!
I was kidding. I’d love to. pick me up at 7?
you startled me there. 7 is perfect. can’t wait :)
“Holy fuck, Reg!”, Sirius shouted, getting out of the bathtub and tried himself off quickly so he could tell his brother about the big news. He wrapped his towel around his waist and jogged into the living room.
“You’ll never believe what just happened”, he squirmed and almost jumped in the air out of excitement. “Remus asked you out”, his brother responded and looked at him with a smug expression on his face from the couch. “It was only a matter of time, Siri”, he added quickly before Sirius could react. “So, when and where are you going?”, Regulus continued and raised his eyebrows.
“He’s picking me up at 7 on Friday and we'll go for a drink before we join you guys back at Lily and James’ as far as I know”, he sighed and looked at his brother.
“You really weren’t joking when you said we’d be a good fit”
“I didn’t say that, Siri”
“Yeah but you meant it”
“Sirius”
“Regulus”
Sirius gave his brother the finger before he walked back to the bathroom and got dressed. “You won’t be invited to our wedding”, he shouted dramatically and put on a random shirt and the first pair of jogging trousers he could find.
The next few days basically flew by. They went out ice skating daily and often walked around the city center so that Sirius got to see where his brother lived properly and not just experience the nightlife. Regulus showed him a lot of the shops where he got his clothes and gifts from. Sirius took a mental note to go back before he left to get his friend Alice one of the cute stuffed animals from Regulus’ favourite shop. He loved the quality time he spent with his brother. It meant the world to him.
On the 31st, he freaked out over every single thing. He couldn’t find his clothes, put on his socks backward and almost forgot to put on underwear at all. Regulus must have been close to losing his shit when he walked into his bedroom and sat down next to his brother.
“What are you so nervous about?”, he asked calmly. Sirius didn’t expect that. He expected him to be mad at him or at least say something sarcastic but he didn’t think that a calm conversation starter was on the list of possibilities.
“I ... I don’t want to fuck this up, Reggie”, Sirius sighed and looked at what he was wearing. It was a simple pair of black trousers and a red dress shirt with small, black flowers covering it. He hoped that Remus would like it. “It’s just Remus, you have nothing to worry about”, Regulus replied with a smile on his face and patted his shoulder assuringly.
“It’s not that. I mean, it is that Remus seems like a really, really amazing guy and I’m so glad that I got the chance to meet him, but he’s your friend. And I don’t want me going out with him to stand in between us or in between the two of you”, Sirius mumbled and looked into his brother’s eyes. He wasn’t scared. He was nervous.
“Remember when we sat on my bed at our parents’ and you told me about your boyfriend? Because I remember. I remember it vividly. I remember what you said word for word. You told me that as long as I was happy, it wouldn’t matter who I’d be interested in, and I never thought that I’d ever get to say this to you but Siri, I couldn’t care less that he’s my friend. Remus is an amazing bloke, but don’t let me be the reason why you didn’t go for it. Give it a chance. Leave me out of this. I know that you’re trying to protect me, and I love you for that, but this is about you. This is about your happiness. Now go and fix your hair, he’ll be here in 15 minutes”, Regulus smiled and squeezed Sirius’ hand. Both of them had tears in their eyes.
As promised, Remus arrived 15 minutes later. He brought a pair of flowers and gave them to Sirius as he got into the flat to greet Regulus. “I ... thank you, they’re beautiful”, Sirius said and brought them closer so that he could see the little details on them. When he looked up from the flowers, he saw Remus smiling at him. It made his stomach twist a little.
“As much as I love having you two here, I need you to leave because hockey is about to be on and I’d rather watch Neil Patrickson talk about the NHL than you flirting. Off you go”, Regulus announced and kicked them out of the flat so to say.
Remus drove them to a bar Sirius had never been to. It was dark outside, the sun had set hours before. The two men exited the car and walked up to the bar, having a light conversation about Keith Richards before Remus held the door open for Sirius. The blonde got them both drinks while Sirius looked for a good spot. He quickly found one near the wall that was covered in pictures of random pictures. A quick “Everything’s going fine. Love you” text was sent to Regulus before Remus arrived with two drinks in his hands.
“So, here we are again. Thank you for the invitation - next round is on me though”, Sirius chuckled and took the glass out of Remus’ hand. Remus’ cold fingers felt comforting against Sirius’ hot ones. They balanced the temperatures out.
“To Regulus”, Remus smiled and raised his glass. Sirius followed him suit and nodded appreciatively.
“So, tell me about you and your passions, Remus”, Sirius smiled and took a sip of his tasty drink. He loved a good gin tonic.
...
Remus leaned back and opened his mouth so he could begin to talk. “Well, I’m from Wales originally. My mum and I moved here when I was a young boy, my dad never really was in the picture. I grew up kind of poor, so I never really had much but I was happy. Once I made my own money, I bought as many records as I could and never really stopped. If I had to choose between my records and my profession, you’d never see me at that school again in my life”, Remus laughed and sipped on his drink. He enjoyed being with Sirius and talking with him. Something about it was very comforting.
Sirius was listening actively. “I mean, I bet you’ve had to answer that many times, but where did you get that scar from? If you don’t want to answer, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”, he asked politely and waited for a response like a dog patiently.
“No, it’s fine, I can tell you about it. It’s not that big of a deal as one might think it is. I just got in a lot of trouble as a boy, you know, being raised by a woman and being gay wasn’t exactly what the boys in my neighbourhood thought was appropriate. I spent many nights in the hospital. Fortunately, I quickly grew taller than them and gained some muscle so they didn’t bother me anymore once I reached my current height and became friends with James, who used to be an excellent kickboxer”, Remus concluded and leaned across the table so that he could see Sirius better.
“It’s really beautiful, in my opinion. Especially in the moonlight. The pink lines appear silver”, Sirius said, maybe more to himself than to Remus, but made the butterflies in his stomach race faster than they did before.
He was really handsome that night. The dimmed light made it hard for Remus not to lean forward and kiss that kind expression off Sirius' face. “Now tell me about you”, he requested and laughed as they both sipped on their drinks at the same time.
Sirius grinned and took another big swig of the cocktail before he started talking.
“Well, maybe Reg has already mentioned it but we were abused heavily as kids and ever since Reggie turned 7 we’ve been the closest of friends. I now live in Budapest and it’s really beautiful there. I work as an architect and get to travel a lot, but that means that I can’t see Reg as often as I want to”
Remus put his hand above Sirius’ and squeezed it gently. “You basically raised Regulus, right? You did a wonderful job. He’s so similar to you”, he said, making sure that Sirius could hear him properly. Sirius smiled sheepishly. “Thanks, really. It wasn’t easy, you know, I wasn’t much older than he was - but that's enough about the sad stuff. Wanna hear about how I got a pink jacket from Katy Perry?”, Sirius laughed. “How could I refuse that offer?”
They had a very lovely chat. It was filled with stories about their childhoods, their idols, their political beliefs and thoughts on current matters. It was almost scary how well they balanced the conversation to keep it alive and flourish. They had a lot of similar opinions.
After having had two drinks, Remus checked his watch. 25 minutes until they had to arrive in time to have a drink while they stood on their balcony and watched the fireworks.
Their hands were still holding each other. It gave great comfort to Remus that Sirius didn’t even move his hand once, not even to reach for his drink. Sirius laughed at everything Remus had to say and smiled at him like nobody had ever before. It was a trusting smile.
“I feel like I’ve known you for ages”, Sirius said as they left the bar and strolled back to Remus’ car. “I know, right? I said that to James yesterday but he didn’t understand what I meant”, Remus replied and stopped in front of the passenger seat door. “Thank you for tonight, Remus”, Sirius said and stepped closer to him. Their bodies were almost touching. “I haven’t enjoyed myself like that in a long time”, he added and got on the tips of his toes to give the blonde a kiss on the cheek. “You’re very welcome”, was all Remus could say without losing himself in the moment; but it happened anyway. They gazed at each other, chests almost touching, hearing each other breathe before Sirius broke it up. “Let’s head to the others, eh?”
The car ride back was very pleasant. Remus put on some T. Rex and both of them ended up singing their hearts out to the music. He couldn’t say why, but Sirius was special. He was different than all of the other men he had gone out with before.
They arrived at the Potters’ at 11:30. Regulus greeted them by giving them a big, long hug. He was very drunk. James had invited some other people too so the party was in full swing already. Remus excused himself to get himself and Sirius a drink. On his way to the kitchen, he met Lily. “Oh my god, how was it? How was it how was it how was it?”, she squirmed and hugged her friend tightly. “Really lovely. We held hands the entire time. He also said my scars were cute”, he said and looked over his shoulder to see him chatting with his brother. They probably had the same chat as he was just having with Lily.
“That sounds so wonderful! I’m so happy for you! Tell me more about it later!”, she almost yelled and ruffled his hair. “Beer’s in the fridge”, she quickly said before James called out for her. Remus loved her a lot. “See you!”, she shouted and got lost in the crowd of people in the hallway.
With two beers and a glass of water for Regulus in his hands, he walked back to the brothers and gave them their beverages. “To new beginnings”, he said as they toasted their drinks and winked at Sirius. He didn’t know where all the confidence had come from. Maybe it was because Sirius’ presence was just very calming so that he could be himself.
“Would you like to dance?”, Sirius suggested as they both walked through the flat to check out where everyone was. Remus nodded quicker than he thought he could and guided Sirius to Lily and James’ bedroom.
He connected his phone to Lily’s speaker and put on David Bowie’s album “Station to Station”. “May I have this dance?”, he grinned and bowed down, sticking his hand out. “Oh what a gentleman you are”, Sirius chuckled and took the hand in his, letting himself be pulled into Remus’ arms. Remus rested his arm on Sirius’ waist while Sirius’ hand found their spot on Remus’ shoulder.
Now it was just the two of them again. Holding Sirius in his arms felt natural to him. It felt normal. As if he was meant to be holding him. “I didn’t think that anybody could turn my life around as quickly as you’ve done”, Remus whispered and watched Sirius rest his head on the taller man’s chest. “Yeah? You think so?”, the smaller man replied quietly but Remus could tell that he was smiling. “The second you entered the flat I felt drawn towards you. I was behaving like a fool, but it paid off, I think”, he laughed softly and felt his chest vibrate.
Sirius looked back up at him and blinked slowly as if he just finished two blunts by himself. “The first thing I thought when I saw you was that I wanted to know how your lips would feel against mine”, Sirius admitted quietly as their bodies moved to the rhythm of the music. His cheeks were rosy. It was a sight Remus would never ever want to forget.
“Why don’t you find out?”, Remus whispered and waited for Sirius to look into his eyes. The butterflies were doing extra laps. Sirius’ beautiful eyes found his and made his knees weak for a second.
From the other rooms, they could hear the people cheering and celebrating. The fireworks-show had begun. “Happy New Year, Remus”, Sirius whispered and let his hand find its way to Remus’ neck to pull him closer.
Their kiss was only a heartbeat away.
Once David Bowie sang the line “Sweet name, you're born once again for me” on the song Word on a Wing, Remus couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He closed his eyes and kissed Sirius Black lovingly. Sirius let out a soft chuckle and kissed him back immediately. He tasted like peppermint and the beer they had been drinking. Remus could not get enough of it. “Happy New Year, Sirius” he replied once they broke apart.
Of course, he could not have known that he had just kissed the love of his life for the first time. He also could not have known that they would get married five years later. He also could not have known that they would name their child after the musician who sang the song that made him feel wanted and appreciated for the first time in years. He also could not have known that from that moment on, he had found the person he wanted and eventually would to spend the rest of his life with.
All thanks to Regulus Black for knowing his brother a bit too well.