Chapter 4
Remus quickly learned Sirius really came through when you needed him. The man did just about everything and would drop whatever he was doing to help whenever someone asked something of him. He leant Remus flowers for reference, gave him tips on running a business, fixed little problems Remus wasn’t sure how to deal with on his own, and invited him out to talk to other business owners in the area. Hell, sometimes Sirius would just stop by to bring him a coffee, and god knows he needed it.
Sirius was surprisingly considerate, and Remus was vaguely nervous about how much he liked the guy. He had never realized there was an actual person behind that pretty face of his. He felt guilty for ever having thought so.
At the same time, he was quite pleased with himself. He’d managed to build a stable business relationship with Sirius, although the line between professional and personal were quickly thinning. By extension, having this relationship with Sirius meant he also had one with James. Remus just knew Lily would be pissed if she knew about that, so he opted not to tell her.
Sometimes Remus felt bad about how much time he had started spending with Sirius without telling Lily, but it wasn’t hard to forget about that guilt when Sirius turned out to be such a likable person.
He was talkative, enough so that when Remus wasn’t sure how to hold a conversation, Sirius would just keep going. It was something he hadn’t known he needed, but Remus found it quite enjoyable. Being as socially awkward as he was made it hard for him to make and keep friends, given his trouble conversing with them, but Sirius was able to keep talking like he hadn’t realized Remus had stopped. At the same time, he turned out to be a fairly good listener.
Remus quickly realized that he liked having someone other than Lily to talk to every day.
While he could hang out with Dorcas, Marlene, and Mary occasionally, those were Lily’s friends, not his. He had his coworkers, but they spent time with him out of obligation, not because they wanted to. Sirius put in an effort. Remus wasn’t sure why, but it was happening, and he very much appreciated it.
~~~~~~
Sirius loves Regulus, but he barely knows his little brother anymore. He feels like he should know an eternity of him, but only knows an endpoint. He guesses that’s just what happens, when parents aren’t parents, and siblings have to be better. He supposes he should’ve known that's what happens when big brother’s run away instead, and little boys are left all alone in the big, cold house at the end of a narrow street.
Regulus grows up and flies away from him, sprouting wings of his own, but Sirius thinks that’s okay, because he flew away first. Sirius tries to be there for him as much as he can, even though he’d never let his little brother know. He watches him grow through the stories of mutual friends. From social media posts, from Andromeda, from anyone who’ll let him get a glimpse at what happened after he left.
Regulus is a volleyball player, and he’s good at what he does. The best on his team, trying his absolute hardest, like he always has. Sirius doesn’t let himself be seen, but he goes to as many games as he can. He sends his little brother gifts. He sends flowers all the time. He wonders if Regulus remembers what they represent.
Sirius tries to be a good brother, even if he can’t really be there. He’s afraid of making things worse. He doesn’t know what his parents would do if they found out they had kept any form of contact, but he didn’t want to find out. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Regulus.
Sirius brags about his little brother to his customers. Whenever one of his games is on the news, Sirius has it playing on the tiny T.V. in his store. He’ll smile and point at the boy he’d grown up with and tell them, “That’s my brother! Look at him, watch him hit the ball!” He’d point to the tiny figure on the screen as he jumped, spiking the ball and scoring a point for his team.
Sirius didn’t try to hide the smile that bloomed on his face as his teammates encouraged him. You didn’t have to hear it to imagine what they were saying as they slapped his back. The camera was far away and all the players looked small, but you could see it when Regulus laughed.
Sirius frowned with his brother whenever they lost a point. Whenever Regulus got blocked, whenever he missed a ball, Sirius would sigh and wish he was there. He wished he was in those stands, cheering his brother on. He wanted Regulus to know that there was always someone in his corner, someone who believed in him. He’d never said it, not before he’d disappeared in the middle of the night.
Sirius still felt incredibly guilty for that. There was no avoiding it. He hadn’t even said goodbye. He’d just left, without giving his brother any advice, without letting the only person in that house that cared about him how important he was. Even though he’d never said it, he thinks that what he is doing has to count for something, right? It had to be worth something that he’s watching, that he’s there, even if he’s not really.
He spends hours staring at a T.V. screen, watching his brother fly. He forgets he’s at work sometimes, longing for the family he left behind. James helps soothe the ache that comes with losing Regulus, but he doesn’t replace him. Sirius appreciates it, he really does, sometimes he just finds himself wishing he’d gotten his little brother out of that damn house when he had a chance.
Sirius spent a lot of time wondering what Regulus would think of him now. Regulus had liked flowers when he was younger, too. Would he like the little shop? Would he be proud that Sirius was doing well? Angry that he’d been left behind? Would he even care if he knew everything that was going on? Did he ever ask?
Sirius was lost in his thoughts while watching one of Regulus’s games when one of Remus’s friends, Marlene, if Sirius remembered correctly, walked into the shop.
He would’ve been embarrassed for not noticing for so long if he wasn’t trying so hard not to cry. Sirius didn’t cry often, but thinking about his little brother always brought him close. He blinked back the tears that had slowly built up when he noticed Marlene in the reflection of the T.V.
He turned around, an apology halfway out of her mouth before it died on his lips. Marlene seemed to be just as engrossed in the game as Sirius had been. He wondered how long she’d been standing there. Her eyes met his after a moment, a small smile playing on her lips.
“Oh, hi. Sorry, I forgot I came in here for something,” she laughed softly, her curls bouncing as she tilted her head to the side. “That team is really good, one of my favorites. The little one, their ace, he’s amazing, don’t you think? You wouldn’t expect that kind of talent from someone so small, but the kid really can jump. Best on the team, in my opinion.”
Sirius couldn’t spread the bright smile that bloomed on his face, swelling with pride at Regulus’s achievements. “That’s my brother!” He supposed that statement wasn’t entirely true, given his parents had officially disowned him. Sirius just wasn’t quite ready to admit that meant his little brother wasn’t really his anymore. “He’s the most talented player I know.”
“You can be serious,” Marlene eyes widened, leaning forward slightly. “No way. You might look alike but there’s no way you’re related to Regulus Black.”
“No, I really am Sirius,” he said, leaning back in his chair while Marlene rolled her eyes. “But really, he’s my little brother. Haven’t seen him in a while, but we grew up in the same house. I still have embarrassing photos of him as a child.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I can prove it.”
And he did. Sirius pulled out a scrapbook from the backroom, ignoring the nasty memories that bubbled up from the back of his mind. He flipped through the pages before landing on one of him and Regulus when they were younger. If he had to guess, he’d say Reg was around 4 years old in the picture, but still recognizable.
They were standing together in the garden of the manor, big smiles on their faces and paint all over their hands from a project Sirius couldn’t remember. While he couldn’t properly recall the memory, he smiled fondly at the picture as he passed the scrapbook to Marlene.
“My famous little brother and I back when we were kids. Believe me now?”
“No way!” Marlene’s eyes were wide as she looked at the photos. “Aww, you two were so cute! Do you think I could get his autograph or something? Oh my god, could I meet him?”
Sirius’s smile fell by a fraction of an inch, not enough that Marlene would notice. He shrugged.
“Doubt it. He’s awfully busy. Plus, we aren’t very close anymore.”
Understatement of the year.
“Oh, that’s a shame,” she said.
Sirius shrugged again. “It is what it is. Anyway, what did you need?” He plastered on his signature charming smile as he took the scrapbook back to put it away.
“Well, I need a bouquet of lilies to annoy my friend and some sunflowers to apologize to my roommate after she kills me for throwing a party without her asking.”
“Ooo, a party? Sounds like a good time. I like your mindset of ‘do now, apologize later,’” Sirius laughed lightly as he shoved the book away before getting together the flowers she asked for.
“Ah, yes, of course, it’s probably not my best bet, but she never seems to mind anyway. She always forgives me so, how angry can she be?” Marlene rocked back and forth on her feet as she talked, watching Sirius as he moved gracefully around the shop. “You should come! You're a college student, right?” She paused, waiting for Sirius to nod before continuing, “cool! It’s this Saturday at 7, but you can come whenever. You can bring your friends too if you want! Just gimme your phone number and I’ll text you the address.”
Sirius wondered briefly if this had been a ploy to get his phone number, but he didn’t really care. Sure, he was gay as hell, but a party meant free booze and Sirius was not about to pass that up. It might be shitty booze, but he was a broke college student, who was he to complain?
“Yeah, sure, that sounds great.” Sirius finished gathering her flowers and brought them back over to Marlene. He put his contact information into her phone and she left with a smile, waving with her free hand on the way out.
Sirius waved back.
~~~~
James had opened his coffee shop for college students. When opening his business, his main goal had really been to provide a place for kids his age a place to hang out and get away from the stress of college. Or sit here and stress about college, but with a warm cup of coffee and peers who will be there to say, “hey, don’t worry, I get it, you’ll be fine.”
He wanted to be there when someone came in at 4 a.m. and asked for a cup of coffee because they were pulling an all nighter to finish an essay and had to go to class in 2 hours. He wanted to be there when the stress became too much for someone and they stumbled in through the door, smelling of alcohol and tears.
He opened his shop so he could help people. It meant he had wonky hours and actually lost money because of it, but his parents were already successful business owners and didn’t mind supporting his business, even if he wasn’t profiting off it.
And he did help people. It made him a lot of friends, actually, and almost everyone knew him. College kids stopped to get coffee a lot and since James was so close to campus, he knew a lot of people. It also meant a lot of people trusted him, enough to show up drunk and delirious at the coffee shop at ungodly hours to pour their secrets out to him.
Not that he would ever blackmail anyone, but if he needed to, he certainly had the information to do so.
It was one of those nights that James was thinking about closing early. There was no one around and he’d just failed a test for the first time this semester, so he wasn’t really in the mood to be sitting in an empty coffee shop alone with his thoughts. While it was peaceful, all he could think about was the fact that he got a 79. He’d never done that bad on anything before and it was really getting to him.
God, what if he failed the class? What if he had secretly been dumb all this time and teachers were just realizing it now? Had he not grasped the concept or was he really just a dumbass incapable of-
He was shaken from his thoughts as the door opened, the ring of the bell startling him enough that he fell off of his chair. “Jesus,” he muttered, pushing himself off the floor and trying to figure out how to make that seem intentional.
He was halfway through an excuse about how he meant to do that when he realized Lily Evans was standing in front of the counter, staring pointedly at her shoes.
“Oh, hey- hey Evans! What’re you doing here?” He vaguely thought he should try to look cool or something, but he was more dumbstruck at the fact that Lily was actually here. I mean, she knew that he owned this place, right?
She did. “Hey, do I get a free drink since I know you and you own the place?”
His first instinct was to say no, but he closed his mouth after opening it, mulling over the situation. He would say no to anyone else, but frankly, Lily didn’t look so great. There were dark circles under her eyes, her hair was a mess, and James had never seen her this exhausted. Plus, he did kinda owe her given everything that happened in high school.
“Nope, actually, the fact that you know me means you have to pay more.” He flashed her a brilliant smile, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to make her pay even if she tried. “What can I getcha?”
”Nothing if you´re making me pay extra, a caramel frappuccino if I get a discount,” Lily said, sitting down at the counter and resting her cheek in her palm.
James had been young and dumb in high school. He was mean to her instead of kind and was pretty clueless. He hadn't known how to act back then, but now he did.
Even back in high school the older he got, the more he changed. Bullying turned into bickering and James had somewhat hoped to become Lily's friend. Those hopes had been shattered with the end of high school, but it wasn´t soul crushing.
They didn't see each other and there was no reason to keep in touch, so feelings for Lily Evans faded into a fondness that only passed his mind every once in a while when someone brought her up.
He hadn't had any plans of being friends with her, but that didn´t mean he was going to pass up the opportunity.
He handed Lily her drink and waved away the money she offered him, sitting back down behind the counter. He took in her appearance again and sighed.
”You look like shit.”
Nice one, James.
”Thanks,” Lily glared at him over the top of her coffee cup.
”Any reason for that? Or do you just go everywhere looking like you haven't slept in a week and hate the world?”
If you couldn't tell, James was real good at making friends with people who didn't particularly like him.
”While I also do that, I´ve been working on a stupid fuckin essay for the past 8 hours and this is the first break I´ve taken.”
James winced at that, knowing exactly how that felt. ”Anything I can do to help?”
”Unless you can write the rest of my physics paper for me, just keep giving me caffeine.”
James´s eyes lit up. “I can do both. I took physics last year and I loved it. I was going to major in physics actually, but...” he gestured to the cafe’ a small smile on his face. ”Want me to help?”
”Really?” she stared at him before slowly nodding. ”Please do.”