It’s hard to move on from a relationship with someone you believed was your one great love. But trust me, it’s a thousand times worse when your ex is one of the most famous actresses in the country.
I see her billboards as I drive past highways, her ads flashing on my TV screen, and her name trending on X almost every other day. It feels as though the universe is constantly reminding me of what I lost. Tell me, how do you move on from that?
Just this morning, on my way to work, I saw her life-size cardboard standee in the lobby of a fast-food chain she’s promoting. Of course, my dramatic self had to go near it, staring at her face for a moment longer than I should have.
She once told me, back when she was still chasing auditions, that she’d know she had made it when she became an endorser for that fast-food brand. And she promised that when she does, we can eat as much fried chicken as we want. And here she is now—tons of movies and television series later—one of the most prized actresses in her network. She made it. Just that she cannot share her chicken with me anymore.
But I'm the one to blame. I broke up with her. It became too complicated when her love team with Jeremy skyrocketed. We had to date in secret. We seldom saw each other. And the hardest part? Watching her pretend to be in love with Jeremy. "It’s just for the fans,” Aiah would always reason. “It’s just a show.”
But it was hard for me. Even if she keeps on saying that it's fake, it's so hard to watch them whispering on set, smiling as if they were sharing secrets. Secrets that Aiah won't share with me.
The worst part? She just let me break up with her. She didn’t even try to fight. And two weeks later, Jeremy announced he was courting her. How ironic. The very person she told me not to worry.
I shook my head, trying to banish the memories. The ding of the elevator snapped me out of my thoughts. I cursed under my breath as the doors closed, realizing I was late—again. A quick glance at my watch confirmed it was already 5:57 AM. I’m always cutting it close. But technically, I’m never late. I always argued that point to my co-hosts, Jhoanna and Stacey, though it never stopped them from teasing me.
I rushed into the studio just as the clock struck six. Jhoanna grinned mischievously. “And now, our guest—oh wait, it’s just Mikha.”
“Good morning to all our Brewsters!” I shot back, setting up my headphones.
Since it was Monday, we started with the usual weekend recaps. When it was time for the first song, Jhoanna gave her usual cue.
“Don’t forget to use the hashtag #MessageToMyEx. Who knows? Our guest might be reading your responses later!”
When the ads played, I asked, “Hala may guest? Wala man lang akong prep materials.”
"Si Aiah!" Stacey excitedly responded. "Kakadaan lang ni Sir Lauren bago kami mag-start. Super biglaan!"
I froze. Surely, it wasn’t her. Aiah had become too big of a star to guest on a radio show like ours. Sure, she has an upcoming movie, but it was rare for someone of her to make time for smaller media appearances.
"Aiah?" I had to be sure.
“Si Aiah Arceta!” Jhoanna exclaimed. "'Yung hate mong artista."
It was indeed Aiah. I have successfully did my plan to not see her in the past three years. If I had known she'll be guesting, I'll surely take a sick leave. But it seemed like it's about to fail now. "I don't hate her."
"Nek nek mo," Stacey said. "Tuwing may pinapasa kang raket saken, event ni Aiah eh. Kay Jhoanna din daw."
The show continued, but I couldn’t focus. Every time the studio door opened, I flinched.
How would she react upon seeing me? Does she even know I host this show? Or how do I trust myself with her?
Finally, during our last segment, the commotion outside confirmed her arrival. The door opened, and Sir Lauren walked in—with her. If Aiah was already so beautiful before, she is now glowing. Like para siyang angel na bumaba sa lupa. Her hair is down and she's just wearing a simple jeans and shirt.
I saw her eyes scanning our small booth, and when our eyes met, I quickly looked away. Jhoanna and Stacey leaped up to greet her. Sir Lauren introduced us, and when it was my turn, he said, “This is Mikha— actually, she also went to La Salle. Political Science din course niya.”
"We're actually blockmates po," Aiah said. She extended her hand and I took it. Damn, it's still as soft as ever. "Not sure if naalala niya ako."
What the fuck! Of course I remember her! It seems like Mr Lauren, and even Stacey and Jhoanna who were giving me questioning looks, were waiting for answers.
"Of course, I did. We were even partners sa isang project sa Socio class," I said, smirking.
Aiah's face started to redden. That's what she get for exposing me like that. She get to remember that time we spent kissing.
But Aiah smirked. And I knew that smile too well. "Sa Comms class din no?"
I bit my tongue, heat rising to my cheeks. That damned smirk. Fuck. Literally.
***
Sir Lauren guided Aiah in the guests chair. Since I was working on the DJ board today, I am sitting directly across her. As the interview began, Jhoanna and Stacey took the lead, sparking laughter and light conversation. But I was too distracted to join in. I learned that she's actually not with Jeremy in this movie. A first. She also shared that she changed management.
Then we reached the segment on hashtags. True enough, Aiah had read some of the entries. Our listeners must be so happy. "Oh, tayo naman," Stacey said. "What's our entry?"
"#MessageToMyEx: Unblock mo na ako... para makita mo naman kung gano ako kasaya na wala ka!” Jhoanna started. We all laugh. Even Aiah gave a chuckle.
Stacey followed with, “#MessageToMyEx: You said you couldn’t live without me. It’s been a year. Bakit buhay ka pa?”
Aiah couldn't help but ask, "Bakit parang puro galit messages niyo sa ex niyo?"
Jhoanna laughed. "Bakit Ms. Aiah, mabait ba 'yung sayo?"
Aiah made sure to glance at me before answeing. "Best thing that ever happened to me."
I raised an eyebrow. I swallowed hard, glanced at Aiah, and leaned into the microphone. “#MessageToMyEx: If it's the best thing that happened to you. Bakit di ka man lang umangal nung nag-break tayo?”
The room grew still. Even Jhoanna and Stacey’s usual teasing fell silent. Aiah, sitting calmly across from me, met my gaze, her expression unreadable. She leaned toward her own mic and spoke, her voice steady but tinged with emotion. “#MessageToMyEx: You loved me. So much. So when you break up with me, I knew that you still considered me. And I am sure that it was your very last choice. And I- I'm... hindi pa kita kayang ipaglaban nun."
Jhoanna's trying to communicate with me with her eyes. Seems like she wanted to know what's happening. But I spoke quickly, "#MessageToMyEx: Oh yeah? Then bakit wala ka man contact saken. Not even a drunk text! Talaga ba. Or may pinalit ka na kasing iba saken."
"#MessageToMyEx: If you're going to say Jeremy, I'm gonna curse."
I huffed. "#MessageToMyEx: Jeremy."
Aiah's brows tightened. "#MessageToMyEx.... actually, #MessageToEveryone, I'm gay. I'm so gay. So hindi naging kami ni Jeremy."
"Aiah!" I say, concered. This is probably the fist time that both Jhoanna and Stacey were silence. I also glanced at our account, our notifications were bursting. What the fuck!
But she didn't stop. "Also, ang lakas mo magbintang ng ganyan. You didn't contact rin naman diba. I kept on requesting you to host my events, pero you always decline," Aiah admitted. Then she added, "Message to Mikha."
I stared at her, the weight of her words crashing down on me like a wave. For the first time in years, the distance between us didn’t feel so vast. "Kaya na kitang ipaglaban ngayon. #MessageToMyEx... pwede na, Mikha. Pwede pa ba?"
My heart stopped. My voice trembled, “Yes. Of course.”
Aiah's smile became wider. And she stood, walked towards me, and hugged me. She whispered, "Thank you for this chance."
I don't know what to say, so I just cupped her face a planted a soft kiss in her lips.
We'll try again. And this time, I know our hold will be tighter.