End The Cycle

Victoria slumped as she entered the kitchen, eyeing both Dee and Heavy, but no food.

Glam had been making their lunches before anyone woke up, and at least setting the box of cereal on the table before going back into hiding. Today there was nothing.

"Where's Glam?" She scratched the back of her neck, looking around.

Dee and Heavy shrugged.

"Great. He could've at least told me I was in charge of your lunch and breakfast too, but no, I get no heads up," she stomped to the fridge, swinging the door open. "What'dya want?" Her voice snapped. Why was her husband not communicating with her? It really pissed her off.

"Um, I dunno..." Heavy mumbled, looking down at the table.

"Fine, let me make you something for lunch, I guess." She grabbed jam and slammed the fridge door shut. She walked over to the pantry, grabbing bread and peanut butter. She brought it up to the counter and started making the sandwiches.

She didn't bother putting something down or wiping down the counter beforehand like Glam would, she didn't see much of a point. If there was anything on the counter it wouldn't kill them. She threw the sloppily made sandwiches into a bag for each of them, grabbing an apple and a banana and tossing one into each of their lunches.

"Come get your lunch."

Heavy ran over and grabbed his bag, running to the door.

"Bye, mam!"

Dee grabbed his bag and put his phone in his pocket. Walking out with Heavy without saying a word.

Victoria mumbled some insults under her breath as she made herself something for lunch, then grabbed a quick snack for breakfast. She didn't mean any of it, she was just pissed off.

She had thoughts of going into Glam's office and smacking him upside the head, but she knew she shouldn't. It all felt wrong, Glam enjoyed these things, he enjoyed the routine he had. What could have happened to cause him to be so distant? He hadn't come to bed in 4 days, and now he wasn't even cooking? He always had an eye on everyone's diets, not wanting them to get high cholesterol or whatever. She really had no complaints about that, other than the days she couldn't have bacon with her breakfast.

She grabbed her lunch and moved to Glam's office, leaning her head against the door. But then something changed her mind. She wouldn't say goodbye today, she had plenty of right to be angry.

Victoria drove up to the shop, turning her bike as she hit the brakes. Parked and pulled off her helmet, hanging it on the right handle.

“Bug anyone yet?” She shouted as she walked in, grabbing a wrench and flipping it in her hand.

“What do ya think?” The man shouted back, working on an engine.

“No need to be a smartass,” Victoria laughed, setting the wrench down.

“Vicky! How's the wife?” Anna teased, walking over to lean on a wall. Her blue hair fell, a bit messy from the working environment.

"Right now he's pissin' me off." She vented and crossed her arms. A look of annoyance that Anna knew all too well. Anna wouldn’t lie, she was curious what trouble her “beloved” husband could have caused.

"Oh?" Anna cocked her head, this wasn't a common occurrence. Plus, she'd take any chance to hear someone talk bad about Glam. More so in a joking way, only partially, at least.

"First, he hasn't come to bed in several days, and now he isn't even keeping up with the kids' needs like usual!” Her gruff voice had caught the attention of people around her, but to her oblivion, she didn’t realize.

But nonetheless, her rant continued. “I haven't seen him around the house once in what feels like forever. Even Heavy's asking me where he is, and not even about him being called up to the school! It's because he wants to spend a bunch of time with him all of a sudden. He likes spending time with me more. Half of the time he's with Glam when doing homework or cleaning. I get it, he's his dad and they should like spending time with him, but it just feels odd." By the end of it, her voice seemed to trail off. Party to the fact she was confused, and hurt. Vicky couldn’t understand why he had shut everyone out so suddenly.

"Huh..." Anna crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow before her attention turned to someone towing in their motorcycle. "Why don't we talk about this more tonight, have a couple drinks?"

"Eh, can't. Glam hasn't been cooking so I've gotta make sure the boys got something to eat." Victoria spotted the guy and flagged him down, getting ready to head over and talk to him

"Then I'll be at your house by 19:00, I'll bring the alcohol."

She nodded, waving Anna off as she wandered to deal with the customer.

After a couple hours Victoria finally got to leave. She really didn't feel like cooking tonight, maybe she'd pick up some take out.

She pulled into the garage, checking the on the food she had picked up once she was off. It was a little messed up, but still edible.

She shut the garage door, walking into the house and dropping the large takeout bag onto the dining table.

"Kids, dinner, now!" She shouted, not acknowledging that they were across the house.

Victoria dug her hand into the bag, grabbing a burger, pulling back the wrapping and plopping into her chair as she took a bite.

Heavy speed-walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, the moment he smelt the aroma of pure grease, he ran over, grabbing a burger and fries out of the bag and scurried to his chair, sitting and quickly unwrapping the burger. "Thanks, mam!"

"Yeah, yeah. I got the right one, right?" She mumbled through the food in her mouth, a few crumbs flying onto the table.

"Yes." He nodded, taking a bite bigger than he could chew. As odd as it was to not eat any of his father's cooking for this long, he surely wouldn't complain. He didn't have to eat broccoli when they were having fast food for dinner.

Dee came down the stairs at a slow pace, more focused on his phone than getting to the dinner table.

"Would 'ya hurry up? Why's your nose in that thing while you're on the stairs?" Victoria yammered, waving her burger in his direction, causing a pickle to fall out and flop onto the table. "Son of a bitch!" She hissed at her own mistake, setting her food down and digging a napkin out of the bag.

Dee finally got down the stairs, watching his mother clean the spot on the table as he walked over. He looked in the bag, grabbing a burger and avoiding the fries. He'd just have to shower after he ate.

Heavy was about to take another bite until he had a realization. "Wait, mam, did you get anything for pap?" He sat up, eyes on Victoria as she tossed the pickle and the napkin into the trash.

"Yeah, but I don't think he's gonna come out for it because he's being a cunt." She grumbled, sitting back down and slumping her head into her hand. She grabbed her burger again, taking an oversized bite and avoiding eye contact.

She wouldn’t realize talking poorly about her husband would leave the two more confused. Especially when Dee lightly eyed up from his phone before drowning himself back into the internet.

"Oh..." Heavy's brows furrowed as he put his hands on the end of the table, looking down at them.

"Anyway, Anna's coming by soon so you'll be going to your rooms. Got it?" She wasn't making a threat, though sometimes her tone made it seem that way. She just didn't want them to be down stairs because they'd be having an adult conversation, it doesn't concern them. Especially because someone would probably assume there would be a divorce.

"Yes, mama!" Heavy nodded, elbowing Dee who nodded as well.

"Good." She finished the conversation with another bite of her dinner.

19:00.

"Anna, you know you can't bring whiskey here." Vicky grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"And why is that?" She crossed her arms, still holding the alcohol in each hand.

"Because Glam doesn't want it in the house!"

"Again, why is that? Doesn't seem like a big deal to me." Anna shrugged, heading to the living room.

Victoria followed, trying to remember if there was a reason. "I don't know, he didn't tell me."

"Exactly, I'm not gonna listen to stupid rules, we're grown women we can drink whatever we want." Anna sat down on the couch, setting the whiskey and beer next to her, extending her arm out to give Vicky a bottle of beer. "Don't let a man dictate what you do."

Victoria hesitated, but gave in. She was angry at Glam anyway, and why would he care so much? She grabbed the beer from Anna and plopped next to her on the couch. "Yeah..." Her voice trailed off, and soon thinks felt somber.

20:32.

Glam could smell it, the horrible stench of whiskey. He tried to ignore it, surely he shouldn't dictate what others put into their bodies. But the smell, God did he hate it. He learned to notice it over other things, even from rooms away, he learned to prepare for it. He could've sworn he banned the drink from his house along with animals, why was it in his house?

He assumed alcoholism ran in the family, it seemed like it ran in everyones. Either way, he didn't want to be the one with the bottle, the glass, however it goes. He wanted the smell out, yet part of him wished he was downing the bottle. But he didn't need alcohol, there were other ways to destress. Plus, if he did that who knew what would happen? Of course, logically he'd probably just get loopy and pass out as he typically did with alcohol, but the stench of whiskey and his thoughts clouded his logic.

He didn't want to be his father. His father was shouting at him. He didn't want to be his father. His father was drinking. He didn't want to be his father. He’s bleeding.

Glam looked down, his eyes blurred with tears he refused to shed. He felt pathetic for being so emotional, he had never cried this much.

He's bleeding. His father would be furious to see him cry, and he'd bleed. He's bleeding.

Finally, he got rid of the tears, removing his hand from his wrist to bat at his eyes with his knuckle. He looked down, he's bleeding.

He must've been scratching or something of the sort. Sometimes this felt like he was punishing himself since his father couldn't anymore.

He opened the drawer, rummaging through it until he found some bandages. He struggled to wrap them around his wrist, covering it with his wristband when he was finished.

He needed to wash the blood from under his fingernails, but he knew someone would be in the way, along with the foul scent of whiskey.

He growled, standing up and heading for the door. He just didn't need to say anything, thats it.

He slipped out of the room, heading for the bathroom.

"Well loook who it is!" Victoria slurred, pointing at Glam with a bottle of beer, giving him a rather irritated look.

Glam stared at her for a moment, his eyelids drooping, his hair joining it, sitting in front of his face in strands. He finally broke the silence, seeing as both her and Anna were waiting for a response. His voice strained as he spoke, low and out of his usual character. "Why do you have whiskey in the house?" It sounded more like a demand than a question.

"How can you stand here and dictate what she does?" Anna cut in before Victoria could say anything. Turning to glare at the man, her eyes narrowing the longer she looked at him.

He felt as if he was being looked down on, and that feeling made him upset. It reminded him too much of his father. "It's one simple boundary and I expect it to be followed." He mumbled, hoping to end the conversation there, just so he could turn around and walk to the bathroom. He just wanted to wash his hands.

"You can't just walk away, you won't even acknowledge what you're putting her through right now!" She went on, stammering, the smell of whiskey lingering on each word.

It felt like her words kept repeating, but each time, appearing deeper and gruffer. "Well, I can't drown my problems in alcohol like you two!" He snapped, turning back around to glare back at her.

"God, you are being so disrespectful!" Anna got up from the couch, approaching Glam. "Look at you." She waved her hand in front of her, motioning at him.

He flinched, reeling away from her.

"You're probably off your pills, aren't you?" She brought up her hand to run it through her hair, wanting to continue her rant.

Glam's mind was lost, the only pills he could think of were the ones he didn't want, the ones he didn't need. Why was he so scared?

Victoria looked over from her spot, trying to study her husband, but she couldn't understand.

"You can't just disappear, you didn't even warn her! When are you gonna tell her you love her? Are you going to choose your family, or what?" Her shouts were punctuated with a hint of whiskey. "You're a garbage excuse for a man! What about your family?"

"So, what'll it be? Family, or the trash?"

Even after all this time his fathers words still found a way to ring through his head.

Glam wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. He just stared back, his expression was empty, he felt alone, helpless, he was ruining things without even trying.

He took a shaky breath, tears running down his cheeks before he could turn away or wipe them, his eyes fixing on the confused face his wife was making. It could almost make him laugh. God, did he love that woman. But it was helpless; he was helpless.

"My apologies!" He remembered there was an audience, quickly rubbing his eyes against his hand, and shining a hasty improvised smile before walking to the bathroom, a choked sob escaping his throat.

"That wasn't even a real answer." Anna huffed, lazily glancing to Victoria. "Vic’?"

Victoria couldn't help but feel a bit panicked, even with the way what she's been drinking was clouding her logic she knew this was wrong. This was supposed to be at least a little fun, a bit of time with Anna to cool down, to feel better. She just felt worse.

"What's wrong with him, Anna?" She watched the bathroom door, not looking back to the woman she was speaking to.

"Surprised, he doesn't usually cry." Anna tried to lighten the mood by joking around, when she sat down next to Vicky and looked at her she knew it was the wrong time. "I'm really not sure, Vic’." She frowned, putting her arm around the other and squeezing her gently.

"I want things to go back to normal, this makes me so mad." Victoria mumbled, wrapping her arms around Anna and pulling her in, giving her an aggressive squeeze to try and relieve her feelings in some way.

"You're killing me."

"Shuddap..." Victoria grumbled.

6:24.

Sun leaked in through a nearby window, shining into Victoria's face. She groaned, moving Anna over as she pulled herself off the couch.

She sluggishly dragged herself into the kitchen, mumbling "Too fuckin' early." as she swung the fridge door open. She decided to just throw something quick together, making a few sandwiches once again. Only this time, she used meat cheese and mayonnaise. She decided that the kids having sandwiches for breakfast and lunch wouldn’t be too bad.

The kids were in and out, they both seemed to have woken up late. Victoria assumed they had been playing video games all night, but it didn't bother her.

She had other things to stress about. She got her things together and was ready to head out the door, but she had to do something first.

She stood by the office door, waiting a few moments before gently knocking her knuckle against it. "I'm about to head to work, Glam. I'm sorry for last night." She looked down, hoping to earn a response. But she didn't of course. She sighed, leaning against the door and slowly sliding down it, sitting on the floor.

"You know you can tell me what's wrong, right? You don't have to hide like this." She added, tapping the back of her head against the door. "This stuff is hard without you, especially when it comes to the kids, I don't know how to help with homework." She fiddled her thumbs, looking down at them in thought. "It's hard because I miss you, too. Come on, fuck whatever is making you feel like this, ok? Just come out."

There were a few agonizing moments of silence before she heard the doorknob turn, immediately causing her to shoot up from her spot.

The door creaked open, Glam stood holding the doorknob. He looked rather pale, his eyes were drooping and bloodshot.

He let go of the door, slowly stepping forward to embrace Victoria. He leaned into her with all of his weight, hardly able to keep himself upward.

Victoria quickly hugged him back, waisting no time to take in every second of it. It was relieving, all her tension left her body, her anger from the night before seeming to flicker like a candle that's ready to go out. It was still there, but settled.

She wished she could skip work and stay like this for the rest of the day but she knew it was a little late to call in sick.

"I can't." Glam's voice cut into her thoughts, it cracked and broke as he fought through his prior silence, he caressed the braid in his wife's hair, trying to calm himself.

"Can't what?" She pulled away, holding him by the shoulders studying his face, her own etched with confusion and worry.

He made a doleful sound, he was practically a ragdoll in Vicky's hands, hardly using any energy to keep himself up right.

Victoria knew that meant he wasn't going to stop hiding any time soon, she wanted to ignore it, but she knew it was impossible. She just wished he would speak to her. She let out a sigh of disgruntlement and concern, pulling him back in for a hug.

"Vicky, you're going to be late!" He almost seemed panicked, he finally used some of his strength to pull away from her. This worried her, why did he seem so scared over something as simple as being late?

"It's okay, no one will mind. Maybe Anna, but that's because she's waiting for me in the garage." She pulled a few stray bits of hair from in front of Glam's face, tucking them behind his ear and looking at him earnestly.

"You're such a mess right now, Blondie." She giggled, trying to see some light in this confusing situation. "There's food for you in the fridge, please eat it." She added, grabbing his face and pulling him down to give him a kiss.

As she began to leave, heading for the garage she stopped in the doorway. "I'm here, ok? I'll fight whatevers bothering you." She did kind of mean it, if she had to find a way to metaphorically beat something up she would.

"I'll try." Glam replied, watching his wife finish leaving.

He wished he could hear her laugh like that again, he wanted to get out of that office and love her like he never has before, love his kids like he never has before. But he couldn't, he was scared, he was wrong.

The cycle can't continue.

"Someone's making us late." Anna joked while Victoria got her motorcycle, copying her and doing the same. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'll be fine." She sighed, opening the garage. "Let's go."

Heavy hid himself against the wall as he heard the garage door open, standing tightly to it until the two of the loud vehicles were far enough away.

He clutched his chest and relaxed, exhaling harshly. He wasn't usually one for eavesdropping, usually Dee was the one with the strange amount of information on everything, but it was his turn.

He didn't know what it all meant. He had heard the argument from the night prior, but he also heard the conversation from this morning. Something wasn't adding up, what couldn't his father do, or say?

He tapped his foot, inching the door the rest of the way closed, then slowly walking in the direction of his school.

His phone buzzed and he shuttered, fumbling it out of his pocket to check the notification.

A text from Dee.

“You're going to be late, dumb ass.”

Heavy slowly glanced up to the time on his phone, shoving his phone in his pocket almost immediately.

“Damn!” He shouted to himself, speeding up his pace, sprinting to the school.

He had far too many responsibilities, his father, now his mother, school. School was the least of his worries, though he'd try his best for his pap, he needed to find out the truth, not just for him but for his entire family, and right now he especially wanted to do it for his mam.

He didn't want to see them hurt like this, it was wrong. This whole thing was wrong.

“Late again, Heavy.” The teacher sounded rather malicious, at least to Heavy.

“Yeah…” He mumbled, defeated. He knew he wasn't the best student, but she definitely had it out for him! “I know, detention.” He dragged his feet to his desk, slouching down into it and resting his head in his hands.

Another long day.