december 1991
Draco sighed when he saw a flash of red as his owl swooped into the Great Hall with the rest of the breakfast post. Draco was in no mood for the entire school to know about his father’s feelings towards his house.
With Delphinus on his shoulder, he left the hall, ignoring the confused looks from Pansy and Blaise at the Slytherin table, and the piercing gaze of one Harry Potter.
Deciding to head outside, Draco wished he had brought his cloak with him that morning, as the frost was biting at his fingers the moment he stepped outdoors.
When he was certain he was alone, he braced himself for the sound of his father’s voice as he opened the letter.
Except it was eerily quiet.
The silent Howler’s were somehow worse than his father’s written letter expressing his disappointment, merely a few days after his sorting. He was constantly preparing for the time when the Howler would be real, when it would actuallyscream at him.
He rolled his eyes as the Howler floated by him, as if it was judging him, and he turned to pet Delphinus, who was perched on a nearby tree branch.
Then, he heard an all too familiar voice. “Draco,” his father’s voice commanded, and Draco couldn’t help but stand up straight, his blood running cold. “You are to stay at Hogwarts for the year, understood?” the voice said, and Draco nodded, feeling sick to his stomach. “What a waste,” the Howler sighed, before tearing itself to pieces and drifting to the ground.
Draco stared at the pieces of red paper, trying to process the words of his father, when he heard a snapping behind him.
He ran, hoping whoever was there hadn’t heard the Howler.
-----
Draco was avoiding Harry. There wasn’t much he could do to explain why, but he didn’t want to talk about the Howler’s, and he didn’t want to burden anyone.
He had no idea who to talk to; a part of him felt as if he couldn’t talk about it. It was as if every time he tried to bring it up in conversation, there were a million reasons not to.
It wasn’t only Harry he was avoiding either. He had decided there was an upside to being in a separate house to everyone you know, which was that it was rather easy to avoid everyone.
Except Cedric, who was starting to look more concerned each time he saw Draco. He knew it was probably because Pansy and Blaise had expressed their own concerns, but he just wanted to be left alone.
“Hi Draco,” Cedric grinned, sitting near Draco in the common room.
Muttering a hello in return, Draco continued to stare at the fire, glancing at Cedric to see that he was also watching the fire.
“You know,” Cedric began, as the fire crackled and spat sparks on the stone mantle. “Suffering in silence causes more pain to those around you than talking to those who care for you,” he explained. Draco didn’t understand what he meant. “Your friends can see you suffering Draco, and you won’t let them in.”
“I don’t want to be a burden,” Draco mumbled.
“There is nothing wrong with being a burden,” Cedric continued. “Everyone is a burden sometimes, we’re human, but shutting people out won’t help anyone, least of all yourself.”
Draco continued to stare at the fire, hugging his knees close to him. “But they shouldn’t have to deal with my problems,” he muttered.
“But they want to,” Cedric explained, trying to help Draco understand. “You know, they personally sought me out to know if you were eating properly.” When Draco looked at Cedric, his eyebrows furrowed, Cedric chuckled. “I know it can be strange, but – Merlin, how do I explain this,” he muttered to himself, leaning back on the armchair. “When your friends come to you with an issue, how do you feel?” he asked.
“I want to help,” Draco replied, wondering where Cedric was going with this.
“Why?” Cedric asked.
Draco blinked. “Oh – erm – because I want them to be happy?” he said, but it sounded more like a question. “I want to lessen the stress of the situation for them, comfort them.”
Cedric smiled at Draco, the light of the fire making it seem wider than it was. “So why won’t you let them do the same for you?” he asked.
Draco didn’t have an answer.