Full Moon

I'd spent the entire week in a horrible way. I was convinced vampires would be creeping through my window, whether it be Laurent or Victoria. I compulsively checked the locks, knowing it wouldn't help. I just willed that they would stop at me and not go after Charlie. 

What were five wolves to an immortal vampire? Those wolves would be dead. The hikers in the woods would be safe now. 

That was what stopped me from going off the deep end regarding Julie; if Laurent or Victoria tracked my scent to her, she'd be in danger.

It was during my panic that I was called to the office. I gave one last woeful look to my lunch table group, convinced that I would part of a ritualistic murder. 

Mrs. Cope looked up from her desk, smiling at me broadly. "Have a seat, Bella." 

I set my backpack down and slumped into the chair. "Am I in trouble?" 

"Quite the opposite. You've been selected for the Masen scholarship," she said excitedly while handing me the paperwork. "It's quite lucrative, I'm so happy for you."

"Oh... I don't think I applied for that one." I took the envelope and slipped it into my bag. 

"It's completely random, there's a little website for it. No application necessary. But in short, it means you'll be able to attend any school you please. Even abroad." 

I wrinkled my eyebrows but nodded. "Okay. Um, is that all?" 

She dimmed at my lack of enthusiasm but nodded. "Of course. Have a good day!" 

I nodded and read that paperwork as I walked back down the halls to my lunch table. Mrs. Cope wasn't kidding; it was twenty thousand dollars a month. I could go anywhere, do anything. 

That didn't sit right with me. What were the chances of me winning a scholarship that I didn't even apply to? The name Masen sounded so familiar, too.

Angela looked at me curiously. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just some scholarship thing." I shoved the paperwork back into my bag and focused my gaze to the door again, ready to bolt in case it would save my friends. I kept an eye out for red hair lately.

On my third week without contact from Jules, I finally broke. Vampires be damned. I had a wild hunch that I needed to follow. As soon as my Saturday shift at Newton's ended, I called every half hour until Billy picked up. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, Billy," I tried to contain my voice to be less than a growl. "Can I talk to Julie, please?"

"She's not here."

Shocking. "Do you know where she is?"

"Out with friends." He sounded dismissive. 

"Oh yeah? Quil?" I asked. 

"No, not Quil." That was careful.

I thought about it for a moment before going with my gut. "Embry?"

Billy seemed more comfortable with that answer. "Yeah, she's with Embry."

Julie was with Sam now. It all made sense. 

"Thanks, Billy." I took a sick sense of satisfaction with being the one to hang up on him. 

"See you soon." I hummed to myself.  

I packed some snacks and homework into my backpack and threw into my truck. I was going to sit in front of the Black house and wait. Julie had to come home eventually. I would skip school if I had to. Charlie would have to haul me back to Forks kicking and screaming. 

As I drove onto the Rez, I saw a figure walking down the opposite side of the road. I recognized Quil immediately despite the fact he'd obviously had a growth spurt. What artificial growth hormones were they feeding the teenagers here? 

I pulled over to the incorrect side of the road and rolled down my window, crawling beside him. 

"Quil?" 

He looked up. "Oh. Hey, Bella," he responded in the deadest voice I'd ever heard from him. He didn't even have the energy to look surprised. 

"You okay? Need a ride?" 

"Yeah, sure." He walked across to my passenger side, climbing in. "My house is by the general store." 

Quil's face was different; bleak, hopeless. The few times I'd see him, he was always toting a grin or making a joke. He could have been coming back from a funeral. 

In a show of pure callousness to his plight, I asked, "Have you seen Julie today?"

Quil scoffed. "From a distance." 

I looked at him curiously, prompting him further. 

"I tried to follow the. Jules and Embry. I'm sure the others were nearby, but I only saw them. Then they just... disappeared into the woods. I've spent the last hour stumbling around yelling for them." He looked so lost. My heart broke for him. 

"So Sam got to her."

"You know about that?"

"Yeah, Jules told me about it... before."

"Before," he echoed. 

"Is she just as bad as Embry and the others?"

"Sam's new best friend. Making friendship bracelets as we speak." 

"Did she miss school?" 

"Yep. For a week. Then she showed up with a fuck-ass bob and in a gang." He stared out of my passenger window. 

"What do you think it is? Drugs?"

"I can't see Jules or Embry getting caught up into that stuff, but what do I know?" He was quiet for a moment. "I've been friends with Jules since we were in diapers, Bella. She's family. She wasn't even on Sam's radar. She didn't want to be a part of this cult. And now they look at me and... I don't want to be next."

"And your parents don't care?" I asked. 

Quilt shook his head. "My grandfather is on the council with Julie's dad. Sam Uley is the savior of La Push." 

We were both quiet for the rest of the car ride until I got to the store. "Here is good," he said in a gruff voice before hopping out of my car. "Thanks for the ride.".

"I'm going to go wait for Julie." 

Quil gave me a bitter, sad smile. "Good luck." 

His face was frozen into my mind as I drove back towards Julie's house. The fear in his eyes, the stress ingrained in it. 

I parked the car in front of the Black house and killed motor, propping my feet onto the dashboard. The curtains fluttered. Billy's stern eyes were glaring at me. I waved cheerfully. The curtains closed.

I started reading my book.

I was finally picking up old hobbies again. 

I had read exactly one book and triple-checked my calculus homework before there was a tap at my truck window. I jumped, expecting an irritated Billy Black to tell me to stop loitering, but a familiar face was outside of my window. 

"Julie?" I asked, completely dumbfounded. I rolled down the window.

I barely recognized her; the long, silky black hair was chopped off to an uneven cut just beyond her chin. Her face was in a harsh frown, the lines dug into her skin as if she hadn't smiled in forty years.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" She asked softly. There was a tone to her voice, a hardened edge, but she couldn't maintain it. It fell flat at the end, weak. Her gaze darted to the necklace I wore before meeting my eyes again. 

Her eyes looked so sad. It went completely opposite the expression she was forcing. There was something else there, something I couldn't recognize, but she kept it hidden. Her face kept trying to break. 

I noticed the four figures behind her; all tall, russet-skinned men with inky black hair chopped short. They were all shirtless, wearing shorts like a calender shoot. They looked bizarrely similar when lined up, their faces twisted into frowns. 

All but one. The oldest by years. His face held no malice towards me, his face was serene. Observing. Sam Uley.

I wanted to hurt him. I had a violent desire: I wished to be a vampire and rip his throat out. I wanted to destroy him for hurting her. For taking my Jules. 

"Bella," Julie's voice broke. She tried again, her voice hoarse. "You can't be here." 

"I want to talk to you," I said back. I could tell she was hurting and trying to hide it. I knew Jules better than the face she was poorly attempting to put on. 

"Alone," I added with a glare at Sam. 

She turned to him, as if asking for permission. Sam nodded once. He made a comment in a language I couldn't understand and entered Billy's house, the others following him. 

Julie visibly changed with them no longer in sight. Her shoulders relaxed, her frown less performative and more genuine. She looked exhausted and sad. 

"I'm serious, Bella, you can't be here," she said in a tired voice. "You need to go home."

I breathed evenly. "You already know what I'm going to ask."

She didn't answer. Her lips rolled together reflexively, her eyes cast towards the house. 

"Can we walk?" 

Still no response. I hopped out of the truck, taking off toward the garage. I would feel better if I didn't feel a stranger's gaze on me. I felt safer in the garage, where we spent so much of our time together. 

I sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to me. 

Jules sighed and sat beside me,  carefully keeping some distance between us. She turned her body towards me, elbows resting on her knees and hands folded together like she was praying. She was wearing a necklace, tucked under her shirt; I could see the black cord of it around her neck, a small circular shape pressing into the clothing of her shirt. 

"It's not what you think. I was way off base."

"So what is it, then?" I demanded. 

Her jaw flexed and she smiled bitterly. "I can't tell you." 

"You owe me an explanation." I searched her face. "I thought we were..." 

That pain in her eyes was back. "We were. We are."

I felt a stab. "I guess you don't need anyone else now. You have Sam. That's great, I know you were always so fond of him."

"It's not like that. I just didn't understand before."

"Ah, and now you've seen the light. Or did you just drink the Kool-Aid?" 

"It's not Sam's fault, Bella. He's helping me. Or trying to." 

"Right, because you were in such a dark place before he showed up. He really dragged you out of the depths of depravity. Give the man a Nobel Peace Prize."

Julie wasn't listening to me. She was focusing on slow, deep, even breathing. Her hands were shaking. She flexed them in front of her. The expression on her face wasn't anger. 

It was fear. 

"Jules, please," I whispered. "Just tell me what's going on and I'll help you." 

"You can't, Bells. No one can help me." Her voice was desperate, lost. "Not anymore." 

My hands reached out to her, to hold her hand. Any contact. She shrinked away from me, cringing like my touch would burn her. 

"Don't touch me," she murmured. Her eyes were wide. She was panicking. 

"What did he do to you?" Tears were forming in my eyes. I ignored them. 

"Stop blaming Sam."

"Who else is there to blame?" I demanded. "Give me someone else to be angry at. Please, I beg you." 

"You really don't want me to answer that." 

"I do, actually. Enlighten me." 

Her voice was bleak. "You can blame your beloved blood-sucking Cullens." 

I froze. My response was mechanical, automatic. "I don't understand what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean. Don't make me say it again, Bella. I don't enjoy hurting you." 

I flinched. How the hell did she know about the Cullens being vampires? Why would she start believing in Billy's old stories now? 

"Don't tell me you've gone superstitious like Billy. They're pale, not undead. The Cullens haven't even been here for six months; how can you fault them for whatever you're dealing with?"

"They set the ball rolling," Jules responded. Her leg was jiggling, a nervous gesture. "It doesn't matter. The damage is done." 

What damage? 

I paused before saying to her, "I saw Quil earlier. Said he tried talking to you guys, chased you around in the woods for a while. You remember him, right?"

She didn't say anything, but she stopped trembling. There was a hesitation in her face. A fear. 

"He's worried about you, too. Terrified. He's convinced he's going to be next."

Her head shook assertively. "He won't. It'll be over soon." She looked away, as if being summoned. "I have to get back."

"Back to Sam," I corrected. 

Julie sighed. "Go home, Bella. You can't come back here."

I felt a tear slip from the corner of my eye. I wiped at it irritably. "So you're breaking up with me to hang out with Sam."

It wasn't the right words; Jules was much more important to me than an average romance. But it was the closest explanation. 

Her face was twisted in agony. "No, Bella, it's not that simple. I'm just... it's not safe to be around me right now. I'm not..." She struggled to find the right words. "I'm not... good... anymore."

"Jules," my voice cracked. "Yes, you are. You're the best person I know. I need you, Jules. Please don't do this." 

Julie wiped at her eyes, tears welling over. "I can't, Bella. I wish I could, really I do. And this sucks. And maybe one day I'll be able to be around you, but I just can't right now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She left me like that, fighting tears in the garage. I stayed there for a while, trying to tether myself back down to earth. I could feel my soul trying to seep back out of me. It tried to escape through the soles of my feet and burrow into the dirt. Never to return. 

I clasped at my chest and tried to will the pain away. 

Eventually, I stumbled out of the garage and back onto my truck. I kept the tears from flowing as I drove home. 

Charlie was waiting by the door for me. "Billy called," he explained as he held the door open for me. "Said you got in a bad fight with Jules; said you were pretty upset." 

He paused to take in my face. The slow horror of recognition crossed over his face. I knew what he would see; the ghostly face that haunted his house for four months. 

He held out his arms. I walked into them, putting my face in his shoulder. He hugged me, and didn't say anything about me not hugging him back. 

"Sam Uley said Julie wasn't allowed to be my friend anymore," I said numbly. 

"Says who?" 

"Julie." 

Charlie stepped back and studied my face. He looked appalled. "You really think there's something going on there?"

"Jules can't tell me what, but I know it's wrong." I stood at the bottom of the stairs. "I'm going to bed." 

"Will you eat some dinner?" Charlie asked. I could hear the desperate tone, but I couldn't afford to care. "I made that weird taco casserole recipe that you had your eye on." 

"Not hungry." 

I took a shower first. I made the decision to not let myself get as bad as I had before. I deserved better. It hurt, but I wasn't going to lose myself to it again. 

I did break down and use Julie's shampoo though. And slid into the one of the shirts she'd left into her duffel bag. Anything to protect myself from the nightmares that might show up tonight. It felt pathetic.

I paused at the top of the stairs when I heard Charlie talking on the phone. He sounded mad. 

"I don't know what's going on, and I don't care. If any of those kids step so much as one toe out of line, I'm going to hear about it." 

I smiled. That wasn't just Charlie the dad. That was Chief Swan. 

"If this mess with Sam and Julie puts her back into that depression, they're going to have me to answer to. She was doing better, mostly because of Julie, and she'd been voicing concerns about Sam for a while. I listened to you, and I let it lie, but now it's hurting my family. You're my friend, but I'm not tolerating it."

He was probably talking to Billy. I wonder what yarn Billy was trying to weave to explain this in a way that made me look unstable and the cult looked squeaky clean. 

"Yeah. Sure. Goodbye." Phone slammed down. Charlie was muttering to himself. 

I walked quietly back to my room, sighing. I'd upset Charlie during the process now, too. I stared at Julie's pillow on my bed and thought for a moment about throwing it out the window. I turned off the lights and curled around it, holding it close.

The tears from earlier found me then. I cried myself to sleep, ignoring the lancing pain that coursed through me. 

My dreams that night were strange. I was at La Push. There was water to my knees; I was at the beach, but I couldn't see the shoreline. There was nothing but mist. I'd waded too far in. I walked aimlessly, my feet sinking into the mud. Every step was harder than the last. I could hear the waves crashing distantly despite there not being any in my area. I could hear a distinct dripping, like a running faucet. Rhythmic. 

I turned, trying to find the source of the noise. I saw a single red drop falling from the sky repeatedly. It slowly turned the sea water into a nauseating ocean of blood.

I saw a figure in the distance through the mist. It wasn't moving, simply observing. Human-shaped. Female. Long hair like flames. Her skin was so pale that she blended perfectly into the mist. 

Victoria. 

I couldn't run from her. The mud had me suctioned to the ground. I attempted to move and stumbled backward, covering myself in blood. 

She was in front of me suddenly, smiling. Her eyes were black. 

"Finally," she whispered. She darted for my throat. 

I woke up gasping, shaking, looking around frantically. My eyes were still swollen from crying, but there was no pale woman with long red hair in my room. Just darkness. 

I exhaled and sat up, scrubbing my eyes.

The dripping sound was still happening, but different now. The hollow sound of something plinking against glass. 

I turned to my window, standing slowly. 

Another two clinks. I tried to even out my breathing and slowly moved to the window.