Interview
It was becoming embarrassingly obvious that my life was starting to revolve around Julie Black.
When I brought a plate of burger and fries home for Charlie, he recognize the glassware. "You see Julie again?"
"Yeah, we're tutoring eachother. She needs help in English, I need help with math." I stood by the sink and downed a glass of water.
Charlie smiled but tried to hide it, poorly so. He looked smug. "Good."
"I'm going to work on laundry. She's coming over on Thursday and it's a warzone."
"Sure, washer and dryer are empty."
I heard him chuckle as I jogged upstairs.
I didn't have nightmares that night.
I'd noticed the pattern. When I spent time with Jules, the dreams subsided. I felt better around her. I felt lighter. I could breathe fully without being in pain. I couldn't feel pieces of myself missing.
If being with him was akin to being on heroin, maybe Julie was my methadone. Or suboxone. A healthier alternative while I dealt with my withdrawals.
The problem was, the more I saw her, the more I wanted to be around her. I was trading one codependency for another. I should at least be ashamed of myself. Embarassed. Humiliated. Some sort of negative emotion for the clear lack of coping my newfound addiction showed.
I wasn't.
I breezed through Wednesday and Thursday, waiting for school to end so I could rush home. I confirmed next Sunday with the lunch group; I'd ride with Jules to Port Angeles for the mall. Angela might sit in with us. She seemed rather keen on talking with me privately about something that particular day.
Mike talked excitedly at work on Wednesday, talking about all the fun things the group could do at the mall. I feigned interest and nodded along to his ideas. I was excited about the possibility of a semi-decent bookstore.
He tried inquiring as to my weekend plans again. He visibly drooped when I reminded him I was busy.
The nightmares came back Wednesday night, just as I suspected.
When school on Thursday ended, I practically sprinted to my car through the rain. I grimaced at the torrential downpour and gunned it to the house.
I wilted a bit when Jules wasn't waiting on the front porch, but still headed inside and waited patiently. I started making chicken enchiladas; I couldn't slack on poor Charlie due to my newfound social life, and Jules ate as if she was bodybuilding in her spare time.
I'd just gotten done sautéeing the peppers and onions when I heard a polite knock on the front door.
To say I threw myself at her would be an understatement. As soon as the door opened, my arms were wrapped around her neck, holding her close. Jules was built like a brick wall; solid and all muscle. If it weren't for the fact she was also burning like a furnace, it would remind me of them.
She laughed and hugged me back, one hand in my hair while the other wrapped around my waist. I could feel her lips pressed to the top of my head, formed into a smile.
"You know you saw me two days ago, right?" Jules reminded me.
"Yeah," I said absently. "I know. You smell good."
"You are so weird." She gave me another squeeze before I finally let go. "Your house smells good. What are you making?"
"Chicken enchiladas. C'mon, I saved you a bowl to snack on."
"And I brought you a present."
She produced two boxes from behind her back. One was an electric blanket, blue and unused. The other was a box of pre-bagged tea, a mix of earl grey and lavender.
"I figured you the electric blanket might help you when you're not shivering away at my place, and the hot tea should help. And it's good for you, since you're into the healthy stuff," she explained in a semi-awkward tone.
I smiled slightly and set the boxs on the dining table, bringing Jules and the tea with me. She set her backpack down by the dining table. I rummaged through the cabinet that hid the dishware until I produce a tea kettle. I filled it with water and set it on a burner, turning the dial to boil it.
"Thank you," I said in a small voice. I couldn't tell if Jules liked to give gifts or if she simply tried to find tiny ways to help others, but the thought made me happy.
"Thanks yourself," she said as she ate at the bowl of chicken and peppers I gave her.
I continued preparing the food as we talked, her telling me that she still wasn't enjoying Othello but she felt confident about the paper she wrote for it. Apparently they were switching to poetry next week, which still wasn't her style but she hoped it would at least be recent poetry.
She poked around the downstairs as we talked; it had been a while since she came over, but nothing much had changed. Charlie was timeless like that. Or stuck in the past. Maybe that's where I got it from.
The thought soured my stomach. I frowned and prepped up two mugs for the tea, letting them steep. The smell was amazing.
Jules piped up as she continued snooping. "What time do you get off of work on Saturday? I can get dropped off and we can head to get parts straight after."
"I can probably get out at eleven. How many salvage yards are we going to?"
"I have three favorite spots. I'm hoping we can find everything between them, but we'll still have to stop by an auto shop."
"You want sugar for your tea?"
"Yes, please."
We sweetened our teas and sipped them.
"It tastes like you." She paused. "That sounded weird. It tastes like you feel. The aura you give off. Does that make any sense?"
"Like my smell? You're not the first person to tell me that I smell like lavender," I joked while wincing slightly. I didn't want to think about him right now.
"You smell like strawberries," she stated matter-of-factly. "Much better than that perfume you used to wear. It was too sweet; hurt my nose."
My eyebrows wrinkled; I'd used the same strawberry shampoo for years now, but I'd never bothered wearing perfume. Maybe she was misremembering.
As we ate dinner and drank our tea, I realized something vaguely remarkable: Julie was the first human friend I'd ever invited over. Neither Jessica nor Angela had ever been inside of my house.
What did friends do?
Jules laughed when I asked her. "You can show me the books you've been reading. We can watch a show or movie together, or just sit and talk while it plays in the background. We can go somewhere. The world's our oyster."
I tried to remember if I'd read anything in my spare time lately. The various piles of books littering the floor of my bedroom would suggest I had, but I didn't have any recollection of them.
"Did you want to see my room?" I asked weakly. I did clean it specifically for her.
She followed me up the stairs, and chuckled when she walked inside. "It really hasn't changed since we were kids."
She looked around at the pale blue walls and yellow lace curtains. The same rocking chair from my infancy. A full bed and a desk with a computer, house phone sitting to the side of it.
I added the book case since I came to Forks last year. It was already overflowing onto the desk. Otherwise, my room was pretty bare.
Jules browsed through my books as I stood nervously. Why was I nervous?
"I like your sheets."
The purple ones with the flowers and leaves designs in a darker velvet.
"Thanks." My tone was weak.
"No wonder you're so good at English; your library is our syllabus," she scoffed. "I know a few of these though. Interview with a Vampire?"
I smiled tightly.
"Is there a land mine in here that you're waiting for me step on?" She asked with raised brows. "Why so tense?"
"I just realized how my room doesn't really reflect my personality." Or maybe it did and I was truly that boring. "I look at this room and I feel like a stranger to it."
"Your book shelf has your personality," she said in return. "Would you feel more comfortable if we went downstairs and watched a movie? Or I can go home?"
"You never told me how you got here," I pointed out.
She held a finger to her lips and smiled impishly.
"A movie sounds good."
"Let's check out what's on."
Downstairs, I was still analyzing myself. I enjoyed having Jules around, even here. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment I felt tense with the situation.
Jules set up a movie on the TV. "You said you were into horror before, right? I think you mentioned it."
"Yeah." I sat on the couch, stock-straight and awkward. "No romance, right?"
"Eh, a little, but it's all a lie."
Fitting.
Jules kicked back on the couch, propping her legs across my lap. I chuckled and raised my eyebrows at her.
"I figure if I act outlandish enough, you may loosen up a bit. You look like you have rigor mortis." She gave me a little nudge to the ribs.
I couldn't help but smile at her. I made a show of relaxing my shoulders and unclenching my jaw.
"There ya go."
"So what are we watching?" I asked. I folded my arms over her legs.
"Slasher movie, but the victims kinda know they're in a movie. And they go over the rules and stuff of surviving the movie while being picked off one by one over those exact rules."
"Brutal."
"I can be even more outlandish, if you want." She popped up. "You guys got popcorn?"
"You're going to miss the opening!" I watched as a young blonde was cooking some Jiffy Pop while talking on the phone.
"Don't get attached, she dies," Jules yelled from the kitchen.
She came back a few minutes later, a bowl of popcorn in her hands. She laid back on the couch, putting her head in my lap. She placed the bowl on her stomach and smiled up at me.
"Outlandish," she reminded me. She shook the bowl. "Popcorn?"
I shook my head at her and realized she stole the place I'd put my hands. They hovered above her as we watched the movie. The blonde did, in fact, die. There were some more teenagers on screen now.
My hands finally went to her hair, playing with the strands. It was soft as silk, not a tangle to be found. Jules gave out a hum of approval as I continued. She seemed to enjoy scalp scratches in particular.
The movie continued. People died. I was starting to get invested. Jules fed me popcorn while I played with her hair and continuously guess who the killer may have been. I was sure it was the main girl's boyfriend.
The climax was building; some party where the attendees were definitely going to be picked off. The main couple went off upstairs to have sex, the girl losing her virginity. The main rule not to break in horror movies. It was at that moment that I had an inkling of what threw me off earlier.
I think it was her seeing my room. That's what set it off. Like she was disturbing a crime scene. The only other person to enter my room was him. I felt nauseous just thinking about it.
I wanted to keep my rekindled friendship with Jules and my old relationship with Edward entirely seperate. I didn't want the old to dim the comfort of the new.
As if she had sensed my panic, Jules silently offered another bite of popcorn. I smiled and ate it from her hand while I continued playing with her hair, tying tiny braids into it before undoing them again.
Then the boyfriend got killed off and I scoffed at the television. "This is rigged."
I was later validated when it turned out to be him and his best friend. I threw my hands up like my team won the Superbowl.
Charlie came in right as the credits started to roll. Jules sat up, waving. "Hey, Charlie!"
"You girls having a movie night?" He asked as he set down his belt.
"Yep. Chicken enchiladas are on the stove," I told him.
"Thanks, Bells. I'll make dinner tomorrow night," he promised as he made a plate.
There was the sound of a horn honking outside. Charlie looked outside. "Headlights. You two expecting anyone?"
"That would be my ride." Jules grabbed her backpack from the dining area. "Thanks for having me. Bye."
I gave her a little wave as she walked out. I felt a little dimmer when the door closed.
"You okay, Bells? You look a little pale."
I shrugged. "I wish I could see Jules every day."
"Moderation is key." He raised his fork to me. "Dinner is delicious, Bells. Why don't you try to find things outside of Julie to focus on? I adore the kid, you know that. But I'd hate..." He trailed off.
"You'd hate for me to get hurt," I finished. "But it's different with me and Jules."
I pulled my legs to my chest and put my chin on my knees. "It's different."