We're Just Friends
"What are friends with benefits?" James asked me while the two of us were trying to study for our Herbology essay we needed to get done by the end of the week. I was shocked when that question came out of his mouth.
"Y/N. What does it mean?" I looked up at James from across the table to see that he seemed seriously confused.
"James, you are how old and you don't know what it means?" James smirked at me with his signature smirk. He picked up his quill and dipped it in his ink and started writing.
"Just wanted to make sure you knew what it means." He emphasized 'you'. I glared daggers in his direction.
"Fuck off, James." And I went back to my essay.
.
A few weeks later James and I were back in the library doing our homework when James stunned me again with another question.
"Do you wanna do friends with benefits with me?" I stopped breathing completely. The quill in my hand fell out of my grip and I slowly lifted my gaze to James, and of course, he had a smirk on his face and I wanted to slap it off for asking that stupid question.
"Why would I do that with you?" James just leans closer to me.
"Because I know you want to." Now I really wanted to slap him. I stood up from the table and grabbed all my stuff and left without saying anything.
.
To say that I was avoiding and ignoring James along with the other boys was an understatement. I told Lily what happened and what James said and asked her to help me avoid them. Surprisingly she agreed and kept telling the boys I was sick or that I was in detention or that I was having lady problems. But every day she would come back to our shared room and tell me that James wanted to talk to me.
I knew the boys didn't believe a single lie that Lily told them. I just didn't want to see James was all. Especially if he wanted what he was insinuating.
It wasn't the fact I hadn't had sex yet, it was the fact that it was him who wanted to do that with me. I always viewed the boys and brothers and Lily as my sister. And to have James just casually asked that question was a bit shocking to me.
I mean, James isn't bad-looking. He is quite attractive. Even Lily has said that she finds him attractive. It just scares me that he wants to do friends with benefits with me. I mean over the years the boys were always protective over Lily and me.
I just don't know what to say to a question that blunt and out of the blue.
James and I are just friends, right?
Walking down the quiet hall, I didn't pay attention to the shadows until a hand grabbed me and clasped over my mouth before I could scream. The person dragged me over to an empty classroom and shut and locked the door. Turning around it was James.
"What the fuck James. You can't just do that to me. You know how easily scared I can get." I held a hand to my rapidly beating heart, trying to calm myself down. James looked somewhat sorry, but there was also something else going on with him. Once I calmed down a bit he broke the silence first.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" He crossed his arms and leaned against a desk. I mirrored his pose. I shrugged.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that someone I view as a brother asked me if I would be down to fuck for casual sex." His eyes flitted over my face as I spoke and I could feel my cheeks burn with each passing second. He was quiet for a second before he spoke again.
"Is it because you are a virgin?" I scoffed and turned my back to him and started grabbing my stuff to leave. Once I made my way to the door, what came out of his mouth next shocked me.
"I want to lose my virginity to you. That's why I asked you because I knew that you were a virgin as well." I slowly turned around and looked at him, I mean looked at him.
He was still leaning against the desk and still had his arms loosely crossed and he was looking at me. I could see that his shoulders were slightly tensed and he looked nervous. I paused for a few moments, taking in his figure until I broke the silence.
"Can I think about it?" James stood up straight and uncrossed his arms. He nodded,
"Yeah, I mean, yes of course you can think about it." I nodded and left him in the empty classroom.
.
It's been three weeks since James and I were in that empty classroom, and I still don't have an answer. I mean yeah, I have thought about it and it has literally haunted every single waking moment. And of course, I told Lily what he said and she kept asking me how I felt about it.
"It seems weird to me because it was like having a really good friend that you have known for like, ever, ask you if you could take his v card and in return he take yours."
But Lily being Lily thought of the positive of this whole situation.
"Who else would you give up your virginity to? Sirius? He has practically slept with every single girl in this entire castle and I don't think you would want him blabbing his mouth saying he took your v card. And I have seen the way James has looked at you and I don't see why you are hesitating."
She was right, I didn't want Sirius to take it especially when I have heard almost all of his late-night adventures with different girls every day. Remus was also not an option now knowing his condition. And Peter was always somewhere else.
And after thinking about what Lily said, James seemed to be the best and only option at Hogwarts that I knew I would trust.
.
Wandering around the halls in the dungeon to find James was difficult. He was always easy to find when you didn't need him. But the moment you needed him or need to find him, he is like a needle in a giant haystack. Remus at breakfast said that James needed to study for potions and he would be in the dungeons for most of the day.
Heading down to the dungeons was always not my favorite thing. The air was always cold and smelt like mildew. It was also dark and not to mention that the Slytherin house was housed in the dungeons. And not to mention, I loathed potions with a passion. I think anyone who wasn't a Slytherin did. And not to mention that the dungeons were always a maze that can be fucking confusing if you didn't pay attention to your surroundings.
And needless to say, there were many abandoned classrooms with Merlin knows what is in them.
I stopped walking to listen for any noise that would point me to where James was. I wish I asked for the damn map the boys made. After a few moments of silence, I heard James swear in a classroom to my left. Once I pushed open the door to see James hunched over his cauldron trying to stir his potion wrong.
"You know, stirring the potion counter-clockwise always helps with stabilizing a potion." I watched as James jumped at the sound of my voice and turn around with his wand in hand. He sighed in relief when he realized it was just me.
"I didn't know that." He turned back to his potion and started to stir it counter-clockwise as I said. I moved and stood next to him.
"Everyone knows that." I smiled at him as I watched him for a couple more moments as he continued to brew his potion. After a few minutes, James looked at me,
"I thought you didn't want to talk to me." I scrunched my eyebrows at him.
"What? Who said that?" He looked surprised and turned back to his potion and did his wand movements for it.
"Sirius told me last week when he noticed that you walked the other way when we saw you in the hall outside of Herbology." I sighed and sat down across the table.
"That's not true." I looked at him as he didn't look at me. He stopped and looked into my eyes,
"Then why have you been avoiding me since that day in the classroom?" I could see the hurt in his eyes. I sighed again.
"James, you need to understand that what you told me, was surprising to me and I needed time to think about what you offered." I looked at my hands, trying to not seem nervous. Why was I so nervous?
"And?" I looked up at him, "Did you think about my offer?" He set down his wand on the table so he had his full attention on me.
"Yes, I thought about your offer." His eyes roamed over my face.
"And?" He questioned.
"And, I think it would be a good idea." I watched as the tension left his shoulders. He smiled as he rubbed the back of his neck. And he started laughing.
"Wow, okay. I mean yeah." James continued to laugh and I didn't see what was funny.
"Why are you laughing?" James stopped laughing and looked at me with a smile.
"I just thought for all that time you were just avoiding me because I'm a virgin and that you wouldn't accept my offer." I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms.
"Okay, I don't really see why that is funny, James. I told you that I would think about it, and I did. But," I watched as James' face sag.
"There needs to be rules. That is the only way this entire 'friends with benefits' is gonna happen." I watched as James leaned his elbows on the table, his full attention still on me.
"Rule number one, we can't tell anyone about this entire deal, okay?" He nodded.
"Rule number two, we have to act normal around everyone. I know Sirius is going to flip if he finds out that we are doing this." James laughed and nodded,
"Yeah, and he would tell the entire school and then everyone and their mom would know that we are fucking each other." I laughed,
"All the more reason why not to say anything to anyone." James calmed down and leaned back and smirked,
"Is there a rule three?" I nodded,
"We have to plan out when we are gonna do this. With the OWLS coming up, I would like to study as much as possible." James nodded,
"I agree. So, when are we gonna do this?"
.
It's almost weird to walk around and think that losing your virginity to a close friend at the end of the month was interesting, to say the least. Spending time to physically and mentally prepare was also exhausting. And on top of that, things have been awkward with James again. And I am pretty sure he already broke rule number one.
I mean, I sure did when Lily interrogated me once I was done talking to James. And in class or at breakfast when it's just her and I, she always makes comments on how James apparently couldn't stop looking at me.
And I knew she was right.
In the classes James and I had together, I would catch him looking at me. And he would catch me looking at him.
I just don't know how the both of us are going to do this with no strings attached. I mean, that is what friends with benefits are all about, right?
.
James and I decided to meet in the room of requirement for our "location".
And with every step I took, I could feel my nerves continue to heighten.
We're just friends, right? So why am I so nervous?
The door opened and James walked in. He looked around the room trying to find me, once he saw me he paused. He stood there for a moment looking at me. I could also see that he was nervous.
"Nervous?" My voice came out small. I could see James swallow and nod his head. He started walking towards me. He cleared his throat,
"You still wanna do this?" He set his bag down by a chair that appeared out of thin air. I looked down at my hands and nodded.
"Yeah." James scoffed which got my attention. He crossed his arms over his chest.
"I'm not convinced that you want to do this." I turned and faced him fully.
"Well, I do want to do this. I'm just fucking nervous is all." James' eyes went wide at my language. I don't normally curse.
"Okay, I just wanted to make sure that you are okay with this." James moved closer to me so he was standing a foot away from me. He stood there for a few moments,
"Can I kiss you?" I looked into his eyes and nodded. I could feel myself start to shake as he stepped closer to me. I could feel his breath fanning my face. One of his hands came up and tilted my chin up. I closed my eyes before his lips met mine.
His lips were soft against mine. And the kiss was cut short when he pulled away. I opened my eyes to see what was wrong. His eyes met mine.
"James?" His eyes were roaming every inch of my face, causing my cheeks to darken.
"Your lips are soft." He smirked down at me. I reached my hands to his hair and pulled him into another kiss.
I don't know what came over me, but I wanted his lips on mine, my neck, and everywhere. James was caught off guard by my actions. His hair was also surprisingly soft in my fingers as I tugged him closer. I also noticed that his hand met with my waist and pulled me closer to him.
James moved us backward until I felt a bed at the back of my knees. We fell backward and James didn't catch himself and fell onto me, breaking the kiss. I started laughing when James started to apologize.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall on you. Did I hurt you? We can stop if you want to." I made him stop talking with a quick peck on his lips. When I pulled away he just looked down at me.
"James, I'm fine. Now can we continue?" My answer was James' lips crashing into mine. The kiss also started to get more heavy. Our tongues trying to battle each other for dominance. I gave up when one of James' hands started roaming my thigh, pushing my skirt up by a couple of inches.
His lips left mine as he started kissing my chin and making their way to my neck. My hands still carded in his hair. I gripped his hair hard when he found a sensitive spot under my ear and sucked hard. The sensation went straight between my thighs.
I opened my thighs more to allow James to lay between them. His hands moved from my thighs to my waist and started roaming my skin there. His lips left my skin and his eyes met mine, asking for permission to take off my shirt. I nodded and his hands made quick work trying to get the buttons to become undone.
I noticed his hands were shaking. My hands met with his to slow them down. I helped him with all the buttons until they were unclasped. I pulled off my shirt and tossed it away from the bed. Once I looked at James, he was stock still. I realized that this was also his first time and he has never seen a naked girl before. Well, I still had my bra on but it was also almost see-through.
I took one of his hands and placed it on my stomach. I heard him sharply inhale. He went from still to his lips attacking my neck once again and his hands roaming around my now bare skin.
His hands eventually gained the confidence and grasped my mounds. The sensation once again going straight to my core. I moaned aloud when his fingers pinched both my nipples. It caused James to go still and look at me once again.
"Did I hurt you?" I shook my head. With his fingers still on my breasts, I could feel myself grow wetter and wetter with each passing moment. I also needed friction.
"Do it again." He was hesitant before his fingers pinched them again. I moaned and rolled my hips against his which also brought out a groan from him. My hands met with his tie and started unfurling it and tossed it aside. James got the memo and helped me rid him of his clothing along with the rest of mine. Once the two of us were naked, James stopped again.
His eyes were roaming my body. I started to get a little self-conscious and used my arms to cover my breasts, but before I could do anything, James surged forward and caught my lips with mine. He pushed me farther into the bed and I could feel his cock on my hip. I nearly jumped when I moaned and felt it twitch.
James pulled away and started kissing down my body. His lips met with the flesh of my breast and grazed it lightly with his teeth. His hands also moved towards my inner thighs. James inhaled sharply when his fingers met with my already wet core. He took a nipple into his mouth and sucked hard. I moaned and arched my back off the bed. I nearly screamed when James pressed his thumb into my clit.
James released my nipple and moved over to the other one. My hands pushing his head more into my chest. Once he abused my breasts equally, he made his way down to my core. I could hear the wet sounds of his fingers rubbing against me. I jumped when I felt his soft lips make contact with my thigh. I lifted myself so I was leaning against my elbows on the bed, watching James.
The view of him between my thighs was almost enough to make me cum. I had a perfect view of him. He was laying on his stomach with his face just inches away from my dripping core. He made eye contact with me when his lips met my pussy.
His movements were hesitant and his eyes were glued to my face to gauge my reaction. When he sucked on my clit, I nearly screamed, causing him to suck harder. He continued to suck, lick and kiss my dripping core when I felt one of his fingers enter me. I gripped the sheets as he slowly pushed his finger in and out of me. The wet sounds of his mouth and my wetness were obscenely arousing.
"James," I moaned his name as he added another finger. The stretch of his fingers was a little bit painful but slowly eased into pleasure. James removed his mouth from me and watched me.
"You taste so good," I could feel myself flutter around his fingers. I leaned again on my elbows and looked at him. The lower half of his face was wet with my slick, and his cheeks were a little bit flushed. I also noticed he was humping the bed. I pulled him up so I could kiss him. His fingers were still in me. I felt his cock on my hip once again and I reached for it. Before I could touch it, James stopped me.
"If you touch me, I won't last long." I looked into his eyes and said,
"Then fuck me."
James lost all control. His fingers left my core and he adjusted himself so his tip was at my entrance. He hesitated and looked up at me.
"What about protection?" I smiled at him. "I took a potion earlier." James swooped down and kissed me hard.
"Good." James looked at me again and started pushing into me.
It was painful, and thank god James was gentle. I shut my eyes as the pain continued to persist as James slowly inched himself into me. He kissed the straggling tears away from my eyes and kept whispering sweet things to me. Once he bottomed out, James stayed still as he continued to kiss my skin. The pain took a while to subside.
I rolled my hips against him and felt pleasure instead of pain. James groaned and slowly started backing out of me. He looked at me when he thrust back in, causing the both of us to moan together.
"I'm not going to last long." His hips started moving in rhythm with mine, I could feel the beginning of an orgasm start to approach. I gave him an airy laugh,
"Neither will I." James kissed me and rolled us over so I was on top and straddling him. He looked so beautiful under me and gazing up at me.
I placed my hands on his chest and started to move back and forth. His pelvic bone was brushing against my clit with every one of my movements. James placed his hands on my hips and helped me move faster.
Without warning, my orgasm washed over me. My nails digging into his chest and my walls clutching onto his cock for dear life. I could barely hear James say my name before he released inside of me. His nailed bitting into my hips.
He leaned forward and started kissing my neck and jaw, helping me come down from my high. I sagged into him, arms wrapping around him. I kissed the skin between his neck and shoulder when he started laughing.
"What's so funny?" I asked in his ear. His hands rubbing patterns into my back, I could feel myself almost start to drift off.
"I don't think I want to be friends with benefits. Especially after how hot you looked cumming." I leaned back and saw his face. He had his signature smirk on his lips.
"Then why did you ask me to be friends with benefits with you?" I smiled at him.
"That was before I realized I wouldn't be able to get the image of you naked above me out of my head anytime soon." I rolled my eyes and kissed him.
"Fine, but I think it's a little late to go on a date after we already had sex."James laughed,
"I don't care as long as I can have you like this, I don't give a damn." And he kissed me once more.