Justifying the means
Himiko is good with people, Ochako learns quickly. Himiko made a point to stay out of people’s way when walking out of the station, moved slowly and put her hand back into the cuff without arguing. She was polite with Ochako’s personal driver, and even offered to tip for the way (Ochako does not know where that money came from. It's not hers and it's not Himiko’s so who's it?)The brunette watched as she joked with the woman taking her measurements, spoke kindly to the person designing her suit and was entirely understanding when one of her ideas was something the designer wouldn't be able to do. To all the people who didn't know who she was, Himiko toga was just like any other girl.
They treated her with the respect they would any other citizen, and in turn Himiko treated them with the respect they deserved for their work.
Himiko is good with people, if things haven't gone as they had the blonde would give Ochako a run for her money on the third most popular hero spot. She was charming, kind, compassionate and there were just so many little things she did for other people that had to go unnoticed. She did good things without any expectations because the people deserved them. Her driver asked who that woman was, and if it was a colleague he’d be driving more often. The people who worked on her costume offered to repair it for free when the time came because she was so patient and respectful. and Ochako didn't bring rude people to her workers. If someone disrespects her staff they were dealt with swiftly, even then she brought her friends and family so bad interaction happened few and far between.
She simply oozes charisma, so much so that people who normally deal with good people, notice how good she actually is.
Himiko is incredibly good with people, and Ochako realizes she chooses to act the way she does. Himiko toga doesn't put up a front to appease people, even if it would be better for her in the long run. It's not as if her kindness was a front, if that were the case she would be like any other decent person. She is a good person, but she is also very much herself. Those two don't collide, but they certainly don't add to one another.
When a young man tripped in the road in front of Ochako’s car, Himiko is out before the car even stops. She picks him up, dusts him off and stairs at the wound on his hand. Just watches as the blood runs out of his palms. She takes a scarf (Ochako does not know where the scarf came from) and cleans the wound- only to watch the blood run out again. To anyone else it would appear as if Himiko were inspecting the wound to help, but the man knew better. Himiko wasn't faking for his sake, she helped him, and now she would watch as his blood ran. She would inspect the pink flesh under the first layer of skin and jump excitedly when the blood would run slower or faster.
Himiko could have helped him up and fix his wound, she knew how. Ochako knew damn well that Himiko at least had the knowledge of an EMT- she chose not to.
To an extent, Ochako found this fact relieving. Even after all these years, the girl was still very much herself. It would have been disheartening to learn she changed completely just to fit in. just to live the life of a ‘normal person’ because she wasn't a normal person, normal people don't live to be great. And Himiko is great.
Who knows what she had learned in the past 7 years, she was a genius then and is likely still a genius today. Who knows what happened, what she’s learned in those years. Granted a genius who is thoroughly concerning a young man who is desperately trying to get away from her, but a genius none-the-less. "Stick your tongue out” Himiko told the man, more so demanded. He did, it dropped off to the side but Himiko wasn't exactly specific. Ochako pulled Himiko, and despite the man's inability to break Himiko’s grasp, it seemed Ochako had no problem. If anything it felt as though Himiko was chasing the contact.
She hadn't been seen for 7 years, it's possible she may have been isolated for that time. How else could one guarantee complete anonymity? She must have been lonely, Ochako just can't imagine Himiko letting herself get caught like that without a reason. “He’s sick,” she muttered as Ochako gently pushed her back into her car.
“What?”
“That guy, he’s sick” Himiko still let herself be put into the car with little to no resistance. Ochako’s driver turned to look “he’s going to have a stroke soon, we should take him to the hospital I can't imagine him getting there on his own”
“Oh, miss, do you have that ability many of our mutant canine friends have? They can sense cancer in people long before it presents itself, if you happen to have a quirk like that for strokes?” Ochako’s driver asked, and while Ochako really should have gone to check if the man was okay, she wanted to know what gave Himiko that impression as well.
“Nope, his blood is thicker than it should be and he’s losing motor control” Himiko pointed to the street he tripped on “Nothing for him to have tripped on, and he can stick his tongue out straight” Himiko got comfortable in her seat “He’s going to have a stroke i'm serious, I mean I don't care if he dies but I feel like it would suck for a hero if someone died right in front of them especially if it's preventable”
Which is how Ochako ended up sitting in the waiting room of a hospital and Himiko desperately tried to explain to the desk clerk that a man who very clearly wanted to get away from her, needed to be looked at. “Just pull up any doctor, literally ill take an intern. Someone needs to look at him now because he is going to have a stroke”
“Miss, please calm down. I'm sure this man is fine, and if not he can wait like everyone else”
“Wow, you're obviously not a doctor. Okay, well when he dies or gets permanent brain damage that's going to be on you” Himiko pat the man on the shoulders “we’ve done all we can, stay right here if you don't want to die buddy, you’ll get brain damage for sure but your already in a hospital so you’ll probably live”
“Himiko- we should wait here. If he doesn't have a stroke we should take him back to where he was going” Ochako mentioned, trying to keep things cordial between the clerk, the man and Himiko.
“Oh he’s going to, honestly i'm surprised it hasn't happened yet his blood was seriously thick like he-should-already-be-dead kind of thick-” as Himiko peered at the man, he suddenly and without warning began shaking and falling to the ground. The blonde caught him nearly immediately, rolled her eyes and let out a monotone “I told you” while handing the body to the doctors rushing in.
The clerk let out a slew of apologies and asked about the relation to the patient, and Himiko explained he tripped in front of the car and his blood was thicker than it should have been so they drove him to the hospital. Halfway through the conversation, Himiko tapped out and simply walked out of the hospital in the middle of explaining, leaving the clerk confused and partly offended. “Im so sorry about her”
“No, don't worry about it, aren't you Uravity?”
“Yes, yeah- hi, that’s actually related to why she’s like that. My agency is doing a trial where we try to rehabilitate villains who didn't have many opportunities in life and she’s our first subject”
“That's sweet, she looks a bit like the girl stuffed toy that's sold with the one of you-”
“Oh wow look at the time! Sorry, gotta go rehabilitate!” God damn it, selling the Himiko toys was a horrible idea
__________
“Well this is good, you’ve already helped someone!” Ochako smiled, unfortunately Himiko didn't want to stay in the hospital to find out if the man was okay, but it was enough that she was right and potentially led to the saving of that guy.
“Oh yeah, I'm sure hero’s go around diagnosing medical conditions,” Himiko scoffed. “Anyways, uh excuse me sir, does this car have one of those windows for private conversations?” the driver smiled and laughed, then flipped the privacy switch as the tinted window went up. Himiko waited in silence as the window made its little buzzing sound, and as the window raised her excited smile melted away. She didn't move to speak until it had stopped, until her face was entirely serious. “This isn't going to work. The minute these people find out who i am you're screwed”
Ochako’s eyes widened, she expected this conversation to happen at some point, but the blonde's eagerness to explain the danger was jarring. Himiko was still very much Himiko, but there was an air to her that had changed. Ochako tried to relax as she replied “the police already know, and the general public won't know until you’ve already saved a good amount of people so if anything it will be a controversial take not an immediate no”
“Yeah, a controversial take that your agency cant handle”
“How would you know that?” Ochako tried, but it was hard. It was hard not to ask where she had been all this time, why she left, why she even saved her. What she had done all this time, why she did any of it. It was hard not to ask all her questions at once but when Himiko dropped information no one should know besides her colleagues, Ochako allowed herself to ask one frustratingly vague question.
“It's not hard to figure out, you're real popular but your billboard photo makes you look like a dictator, the public seems to love you but no one’s exactly rushing to get your autograph, the police do not respect you, every other hero I see walking by either feels indifferent or is harboring genuine hatred.” Himiko laughed “it's funny, it really is, you know I saw this hero scowl at the car when we drove by. Seemed like an important dude, I got a feeling a lot of his important friends share the sentiment”
“I'm not- a controversial take will not ruin my agency, people need it. We have plenty of customers and more than though funding to keep going for the foreseeable future”
“Yeah, no you really do. Your traditional little homey office is really cute but how cute do you think it's going to be when it's associated with a mass murderer. It's one thing to stop villains from becoming villains, it's an entire other thing to harbor a literal killer”
“But you're not a villain!” Ochako couldn't help but shout, it was corny, it was ridiculous but what else was she meant to say? “You haven't done anything for 7 years! People tried, tried to kill the same way you did, tried to get remembered in the same vain, tried to mimic your appearance and style but it wasn't you and everyone knew it. You haven't killed anyone, hurt anyone besides that one guy or stolen anything in the past 7 years-”
“I did take the scarf and the money I used to tip” Himiko was not making this easy, Ochako bit back a laugh because if anything the blonde's comedic timing was impeccable.
“Okay but besides that” She groaned “it's hard, it had to have been. To go seven years without your way of life, I can only imagine- no I really can't. I can't even picture it, because I don't quite get what you did in the first place but I mean I can kind of draw some conclusions. Whatever, I just…I can't rationalize locking you up for something you did seven years ago. I mean you were like 16, and sure not all 16 year olds are national threats but you didn't even do half the terrorizing, if anything you were just an accessory to a guy trying to take over the world!
I dont- I don't really know the statute of limitation on murder but I feel like if you save people it could- I don't know, make up for it? I mean obviously I wont say that in public but- tell me i'm wrong, if they lock you up you're going to get out and kill people again right? So why not preemptively stop that! And not only stop that, but give you a chance at a good life. You're you, and I don't think that's a bad thing! You should be you. I'm not saying your life was bad or- kind of, I kind of am. I don't know, I want you to be you but also be able to live a normal life the way you see it as normal. You know? I'm sure you didn't want to be running for your life at the ripe old age of 9, so. It's been years. I feel like the world owes you an apology.”
The car had long stopped at its destination. At the end of her rant, Ochako was heaving. Himiko handed her a bottle of water (Ochako really hoped there was a reason she had that) which Ochako readily accepted. As she drank, Himiko looked at her with a partially rueful smile, and for a moment it was as if nothing terrible had ever happened between the two of them.
For a second it was just Ochako with a friend, in the back of her private car which she insisted she didn't need, pulled up to a lavish house that felt more and more empty every day. For a second, it was just Ochako and Himiko. In her mind, this had happened before. It was just Himiko, who had sat through and dutifully listened to another one of Ochako’s rants. Just Himiko, who would laugh with her and pick apart her worries with surgical (get it) precision. Just Himiko who would cut away (Ochako is getting ahead of herself) all her worries. Just Himiko, who if things had gone well likely would have been a student at UA.
They would have grown up together, hopefully intern at the same agency. Maybe if Himiko went to UA the war would have never happened. Wouldn't that have been nice. For Ochako to have her cake and eat it too.
In her mind, Himiko hugs her and the two walk into Ochako’s house to watch some comfort film the two of them have. They will order take out and have a conversation over food.
But that's not what is going to happen. Because Himiko isn't Ochako’s friend, she’s a former killer that Ochako knows she has an unhealthy attachment to.
Maybe with her here Ochako will be less likely to freak whenever she gets a paper cut, or makes a mistake with the knife cooking (Ochako bet’s Himiko wouldn't get cut cooking), or when a villain hits her harder than she can take, when debris falls on her, when she’s thrown to the ground. Maybe with her here it won't feel like Ochako is losing her all over again every time she gets hurt. Maybe with her here and by Ochako’s side, the brunette's unhealthy attachment will wax and wane, eventually disappearing entirely.
Yet Ochako knows that this is not going to happen.
“You done?” Himiko asks, and shifts in her seat, Ochako nods “I” she pauses, eyes picking apart every piece of Ochako as if she were dissected on a table “dont, expect anyone to give me an apology. Do I deserve one? Yeah, for sure, of course I do, lots of people deserve one and are never going to get one. Either because the world hates them or their dead” Ochako moves to respond, but Himiko lifts her hand. “What you're doing, this whole QCEP thing. I didn't have that, and most of the people who deserve an apology didn't either. It wont make up for anything, but it's a step in the right direction, don't you think? A chance, that's all. A chance that I couldn't afford.”
“My agency is already associated with a mass murderer” Ochako mimicked Himiko’s words from before.
“Sorry?”
“Your image is already associated with the Quirk Counselling Expansion Project, you woke up in the park and you saw the plaque. Everyone already knows you saved me, and everyone already knows your the reason I made this whole thing”
“Stop talking” Himiko clenched her jaw
“If there was a problem it would have already been dealt with-” Ochako couldn't feel another rant building up.
“Stop talking” Himiko shifted again, but in the direction of Ochako. In response Ochako moved forward. This was a hill she was willing to die on.
“The thing is, people need this! Every day, it's an epidemic. There's a kid whose life is shattered because they were born with something they can't control, or they look different, or they think different! People have tried, tired to hard come up with so many scandals to get rid of me-” Her voice was rising, she could see through the tinted glass that her driver was glancing back every so often.
“Stop it” Himiko’s voice raised as well,
“They can't tear this thing down because people need it, it doesn't matter if my image is remembered in tandem with a killer because i guarantee it already is-”
“STOP!” and her voice had always been stronger than Ochako’s.
“What!” she yelled back,
“Why would you do that? Are you kidding me, I died! I literally died and you've just thrown that life away, why?” Himiko's hands ran through her hair “Why wouldn't you just move on and forget about me? Even if I didn't come back, you- you you, why? For the rest of your life? For the rest of your life you were content to just be- what? Hated? Regarded as scum-” Tears were flowing now, it could be debated who’s began to flow first.
“But that's the point! Himiko, please I'm not hated, people still love me, i still get funding and I'm making an actual difference in your name”
“Okay but that's when I was dead! When I was missing! Why would you do that? Why? Why would you do that? Why would you do that? It's so much worse now, I can't believe you would- you're smarter than that arent you?” Her voice was shaking, her breathing picked up to a rate that had to be unhealthy, and Ochako just watched. Watched as Himiko neared the brink of what she had seen so many others who came into her care experience before.
“Why? I cant- I cant believe you would ask me that, you save my life Himiko. You’d been treated horribly by people just like me and despite that all you saved me-” Ochako knew she should stop, yelling would make it worse.
“I was the one to make you bleed in the first-” her hands, claws really stopped running through her hair and began scratching at her face.
“No listen!” Yelling wouldn't help, it almost never did. Ochako didn't know Himiko, she wouldn't know if this would help. She had to try, because even if she didn't know Himiko she knew that a more gentle manor wouldn't get through to her either. Not now, not when she was so hell bent on disagreeing. She took the other girl's hands in her own, fighting hard to keep them from scratching “I never believed people for a second, that those with villainous quirks were born to be evil, but you're proof! You saved me with no reason to, and that's what heroes do”
“I was going to kill you”
“And you didn't”