Chapter 1
Even if she survived, what waited for her? After fleeing the scene where exactly would she flee to? Who would hold her now, after she ruined so many lives, after she saved a hero. It was a kill or be killed battle and Himiko was set on choosing her own fate. Tears welled in her eyes distorting her vision, simply adding to the dizziness. There was no surviving, not now, if Himiko really thought about it, maybe she didn't plan to live at all.
There was no point, not anymore. Maybe Himiko enjoyed the chaos in the beginning, maybe she enjoyed the thrill of it all, the adrenaline that pumped through her veins, but she required more. More and more danger to reach the high she needed to keep her head on her shoulders. Maybe it was fun in the beginning, Himiko didn't know anymore, the nausea was holding her memory from her. If it was fun in the beginning, all it was now was desperation. The human instinct to survive above all. The desperation for the thrills that kept her alive. She needed more and more. After this war there would be nothing left to do, no danger would match this.
There wasn't a point to surviving, not anymore.
All the color turned dull, the life line, the object of her affection for oh so long drained from her body, each and every drop of it went into the only hero who gave her the time of day. She felt the warmth drain from each corner and crevasse, she would die, and yet she was never warmer.
Himiko didn't have a single regret, everything that happened to her was out of her control and she wasn't foolish enough to ignore that. Things happened to her, people would poke and prod, tease and lie, ignore and misunderstand. Himiko Toga changed from someone that things happened to, to a person that made things happen.
The things that happened to her were out of her control, there was no use in reminiscing about what could have been. Because it would never be. Not now, not yesterday, not the day before. Himiko made the life she wanted with what she had.
In moments, when the heroes find this freak of nature clinging to one of their own, they will finish her off and tend to Ochako
But for now she is alive on the cold hard ground with the only hero who cares, it is a perfect summer evening, the moon is rising up above the two, the wind flowing through their, bloody, matted hair. As Himiko stairs up into the sky she finds herself looking back down, as nothing up above could compare to the beauty right beside her.
I am Himiko Toga, and I lived and loved exactly how I wanted to.
___________________
She opened her eyes, why the fuck did Himiko open her eyes? What a waste of time, to have done all that. What was the point in saving her life, if only to capture and torture her for eternity. Heroes. What jokes, there isn't a use in saving a person who doesn't want to be saved. Her life would be better had she died, now she’d just be a living corpse, walking about some jail cell.
But Himiko didn't feel her ankles or wrists bound, she didn't feel the uncomfortable itch of a padded room around her, she didn't hear the buzzing of hospital LED lights or the feel of her mouth drying. She felt grass under her head. She heard the wind whistle and ruffle a coat that seemed to be on her, she heard children’s laughter and birds chirping. Instead of binding she felt ants, all the same uncomfortable but entirely foreign.
Her eyes opened, but Himiko couldn't yet move her body. The sky was a bright baby blue, clouds beautifully striated across the sky. A shrub’s branches and leaves impeded her vision of the sky, but truthfully it added to her view. The greens and earth browns mixed in with the pure blue and white. There were bits of red, but she couldn't quite focus on them yet She took a deep breath in, no liquid in her lungs, no smoke impeding her smell, no gunpowder or explosives giving the air a gassy smell. It was air, the smell of freshly cut grass, the smell of a pomegranate plant, the smell of some unidentifiable food being eaten somewhere not too far away.
Himiko was in a park, she didn't remember the last time she was in a park.
Not in the league that's for sure, not on her own. Risk of getting caught, plus why even go?
Not as a kid… maybe before that. Before she was conscious.
Finally, Himiko could move her body, feel the grass crumple as she pushed herself up. She’s wearing pants she didn't own, a shirt she didn't own, a coat she didn't own, and when she went to rub the sand out of her eyes she found she was also wearing glasses she didn't own.
This outfit was not hers, nor did she remember stealing it.
The area around her seemed familiar, almost frighteningly so. It was a normal park, a playground about 30 feet from her, a few tables and benches under a canopy of trees, a road could be seen not too far off and city buildings shortly following. There were kids laughing and playing, parents gossiping absentmindedly. Not a single person was scared, not a single person was looking at Himiko.
Her eyes were drawn down, down to the pomegranate plant she woke up beside. It was well taken care of, a circle of stone surrounding it and a few others. Himiko searched around, this wasn't a natural park plant this was something someone cared for.
And there it was, a placard. Of course, a park this beautiful must be dedicated to some snobby hero. What a waste, Himiko quite liked pomegranates.
Dedicated to the girl with the cutest smile in the world
The girl who saved me, and the girl who I wasn't strong enough to save
The girl who gave me a dream to pursue
The girl who’s life was cut short long before it could be understood
Dedicated to Himiko toga
2005-2022
what?