Romeo and Juliet
Chapter 27: Romeo and Juliet
November 23, 1993
"Hey, Aliya," greeted Dean, walking up to Aliya. "How many points we got?"
They were at a The Notorious Watermelons team meeting, and everyone was grouping up to decide what pranks to do.
"One. Hermione put applesauce in Flitwick's hair." Aliya stifled a laugh. "That must've been a sight."
Dean nodded, watching her hair swish back and forth. "Can I do one today?"
"That'd be fun," she agreed. "Which one do you want to do?"
"Er, doesn't matter. Can I see the list again?"
"Yeah, Cedric has it. Cedric!" she called. Dean cursed under his breath as Cedric came up to them.
"Yes?"
"I need the list," mumbled Dean. Cedric tossed the piece of parchment on their table, and Dean read through it. "I have Divination," he offered. "I can do the… inquire Professor Trelawney about her love life, maybe?"
"Have fun with that." Aliya smirked.
Dean grinned. "Oh, I will."
Professor Trelawney was teaching.
They were doing wrinkles, now. People always read someone's future using the palm, but wrinkles on the face worked just as well. Better, even.
"You see, right here." Trelawney pointed to a wrinkle under her eye. "This wrinkle means that in the future, one of my students will be attacked. You can differentiate based on the shapes, you see… this one is flatter, and this one is more curved. Like a U." She drew a U on the board to demonstrate.
"Which student?" Lavender gasped.
"Oh, you have to read into your books to find out," Trelawney said. "This comes with Crystal Ball… but I know… the Inner Eye does not lie… It is Potter. Harry Potter."
Harry rolled his eyes and muttered something to the red-head, Ronald.
"You might find it a joke, but I-"
"Professor Trelawney, I have a question." It was Dean, Dean Thomas.
"Yes?" Her eyebrows raised high.
He gulped, looking highly embarrassed, but he went on. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Trelawney stood up taller, her eyes widening, alert. "What was that?"
"Boyfriend?"
"No," she said, frowning at him. "Most men stay away from Seers, afraid that we will find out their deep secrets, afraid that we will see their future, as all men are twisted."
"Hey!" protested Ronald, but Dean went on.
"Oh, so no husband?"
"No. Is there a reason you are inquiring about this, Thomas?"
"Nope. So you… is there anyone who catches your eye? You like the red-heads or the blondes? Or people with shaggy hair?"
Trelawney narrowed her eyes. "No."
"You're one for girls, then?"
"Do not interrupt my class with irrelevant questions!" Trelawney turned back to the board. "Now, as I was saying. A wrinkle below your chin, like this…" She drew one on the board, "will predict a future that involves lots of burns. I'd advise you against buying stoves-"
"Hey, are you into Snape?"
The class erupted in giggles and Trelawney turned around. It was Dean again, smirking. "His silky hair… that confident smirk… arrogant tone… silky tone… that interest you?"
"Mr. Thomas, I predict you a grave future if you ask any more questions like this."
"Oh, I see. You like students. Younger people."
Trelawney's eyes widened and the class giggled again. "This is completely wrong. I don't have a… a romantic inkling towards anyone, my future shows that. I can see it! And I can see death looming above your head, even more than this boy here," - she jerked her head towards Harry, who grinned - "right now, so I advise you to SHUT UP!"
Silence.
"I get it. You like Dumbledore."
"Lily, Lily, Lily!"
Lily turned around to see James running up to her, an excited gleam in his eyes and a grin on his face.
"Yeah, James?" she asked as he jumped onto her lap. "Oh, wow, you're certainly excited."
"Remus loves Tonks and Tonks loves Remus back!" James cried.
"Woah, woah, woah." Lily shook her hair back. "What?"
"Remus loves Tonks and they're in a relationship and I'm sure she was the one who went on that date with Remus, remember the other day?"
Lily's eyes widened. "How did you figure that out, though?"
"Tonks-and-I-were-talking-and-she-flipped-her-hair-and-I-smelled-Remus's-shampoo!"
"You know the smell of Remus's shampoo?" Lily asked incredulously.
"Yes, yes, but that's not the point," James said impatiently. "Lily, Remus's true love is Tonks! I told Tonks about it, and she was all smug and sure and she told me not to take the mickey out of Remus for it, but Lily! I can't believe it! Remus has finally gotten over his whole "I'm a beast" stance! He's willing to accept somebody!"
"Remus deserves love," Lily agreed, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. "That's sweet of Tonks, really, not to mind."
"I don't think anyone cares but him." James snorted. "Hey, should we spread the word?"
"I don't know how much they'd like that," Lily said truthfully. "We don't want to make it awkward for Remus. It's probably difficult for him to accept that someone loves him."
"Oh, tell me about it. I swear, Remus spends more time pushing people away than letting them in."
"Poor Remus."
"Yeah." James nodded. "Should I torture him with this information?"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Look at what he's going through, James." Lily turned to face James. "He's a werewolf. To most of the world, he's a dark creature. It's difficult for him to find jobs, and more importantly - friends. He's a brilliant bloke, anyone else would have hired him. If he wasn't a werewolf! There's all this prejudice. Look. In his mind, it's so difficult for him to accept that people are okay with it. He's grown up against himself, James, that's difficult. He's thinking that he really, really wants love. And he loves Tonks so much that he wants her to be safe, he wants her to have a "normal" life without him. He's blinded by his own love to notice hers. Well, he notices hers, but he doesn't accept it. He wants her to be safe. Somehow, she's managed to convince him otherwise. So he's on the fence. But now you are going to go torture him with it, it's going to turn him completely on the other side. He'll think everyone will make fun of him and Tonks."
James scowled. "How do you know this?"
Lily sighed exasperatedly. "I'm a woman, James."
"Oh, so you can read men's minds?"
"Oh, so you want me to analyze Tonks's thoughts on this? She's probably feeling-"
"No, I don't want to hear it!" cried James. "You're right about most of that, probably, you put that in perspective just fine, but you're wrong about the last bit. 'He'll think everyone will make fun of him and Tonks.' That's not true, Lily!"
"Uh-huh?"
"You see, he knows I make fun of him for everything. If someone else did it, yes, I'd rip their brains out and tell them to let Remus have his love. But it's just me. He knows. I need to test his love with Tonks, make sure it's strong enough for a little teasing."
"In other words, you're just cooking up excuses to torment Remus with this information."
James grinned wickedly. "That obvious, huh?"
"Yep."
"Ooh, blackmail sweet blackmail…"
Remus was in the middle of a lesson about Imps. "The Imp is a magical beast known for its what?" He looked around the room and saw Seamus's hand raised. "Yes, Mr. Finnigan. What is an Imp known for?"
Seamus blushed a violent shade of pink. Remus frowned. It wasn't that hard. It was slapstick humor - they knew this. Was he embarrassed that he would get it wrong? Well, he had no reason to worry.
"You know this," Remus said kindly. "It's okay if you get it wrong, though, no one's going to laugh."
Seamus swallowed loudly and took a large gulp of air.
"Okay, well, I can move on-"
"No!" Seamus cried. He closed his eyes. "Professor Lupin, will you go out with me?"
"What?!"
"Hogsmeade… Three Broomsticks, Madam Puddifoot's, whatever floats your boat." The class sniggered.
"You want… me… to go… out with you?" For once, the last thought on his mind was his lycanthropy.
"Yep." Seamus nodded vigorously. "Don't reject me, Professor, please?"
"Er… what brought this on?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Seamus put a hand to his heart. "Oh, Professor Lupin, you're my Romeo and I'm your-"
"That's enough," Remus said weakly. He noticed that everyone in the class was rolling around with laughter on the floors, except Seamus, who was staring at him like this was serious.
"Aw, Professor, don't be like that." Seamus pouted.
Remus took a deep breath. "Mr. Finnigan, how about we discuss this after class?" His eyes darted around the hooting students. "This is not the time. Or place."
"Sure."
"Back to Imps," Remus said shakily, turning back to the board. "We-"
"The Dazzling Divas get a point!" exclaimed someone.
What?!
"Hermione, teacher's pet, putting applesauce in a teacher's hair?" cackled Ron. "Do I believe it?"
Hermione blushed. "Stop that, Ron, you know I was scared of doing it."
"But this is blackmail!" protested Ron. "We have to put this all over the news! Hermione put applesauce on Flitwick's hair!"
"No one would have expected that from you, Hermione," Harry seconded.
"Oh come on, you'd rather I ask Professor Lupin out?" Hermione asked disbelievingly.
"Seamus rocked that one!" exclaimed Ron. "I mean, it was perfect."
"We need to applaud him," agreed Harry. "It was so funny."
"No it wasn't!" Hermione cried. "Professor Lupin was so… shocked. He was all shaken up!"
"That made it funnier," Ron pointed out.
"Come on, Hermione, you found that funny. You laughed a little."
"A little?" Ron scoffed. "She was on the ground, twitching like she had a fit."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "You were, too."
"Yeah, but we admit it!" Ron cried.
"Fine, I thought it was funny. But I still think it wasn't nice to Professor Lupin."
"Sure, sure."
"Wonder what happened, though," mused Ron. "With Professor Lupin and Seamus-"
Just then, there was a huge uproar from the front of the Common Room. Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned around to see Seamus walking into the Common Room, Dean right next to him. Seamus was murmuring something to him. The moment he entered the room, he was greeted by lots of cheering.
"Go Finnigan!"
"Good one, Seamus!"
Seamus grinned, holding up his hands.
"What did the Professor say?" Ron wondered.
"He actually looked like he believed it," Seamus said with a grin. "He talked it over with me, and he was really kind and everything."
The crowd burst out in laughter.
"That's nice of him," Harry said thoughtfully.
"I told you," muttered Hermione.
Remus was still shaken up from the incident with Seamus.
What the heck was happening? He needed to talk to Dumbledore about this, definitely. Maybe he would know something. Had he initiated this? He'd started the Great Squid rumor after all…
"Remus? Can I come in?" It was Tonks.
"Of course," replied Remus, sitting up straight and running a hand through his hair, making sure there wasn't a knot.
Tonks entered, wearing a bubblegum pink shirt and ripped, light blue jeans. Her hair was a vivid blue.
"What's up?" she asked. Then she frowned. "You look… worried."
"Nothing," Remus replied, rubbing his forehead.
She looked disbelieving as she sat down in the seat next to him. "Is it something private?"
"No… all right. Do you know Seamus Finnigan?"
"Yeah, why?"
"He asked me out today in class," Remus mumbled.
She blinked. "What?"
"You bet. He asked me not to reject him and everything."
The corners of her mouth twitched. "Really?"
He nodded.
She laughed. "Did he actually mean it?"
"I thought so, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings," Remus admitted. "But then someone screamed something about a dazzling diva getting a point?"
"A dazzling diva?"
"I have no clue," Remus replied. "But then I talked it over with Seamus and he said it didn't matter anymore because somebody else had caught his eye. During class he acted really serious about it, but when I talked it over with him later he couldn't stop laughing."
"Maybe it was all a prank," guessed Tonks. "You know someone asked Trelawney about her love life?"
"I heard," Remus said. "That's why I wasn't totally sure if he was being serious. Do you know what's going on?"
"I don't," answered Tonks, "but I'll ask some students about it. Maybe Sia will know. Or Harry, even."
"Whatever it is, I hope it gets figured out soon," said Remus. "This is all so weird."
"Hey, Sia, what's up?" asked Tonks, sitting next to Sia.
"Hi, Tonks," she said, giving her a hug. "When did you get here?"
"Half an hour ago," Tonks replied.
"Did you visit Professor Lupin?" Sia asked knowingly.
"Yep." Tonks grinned. "Hey… I had a question for you."
"Uh-huh?"
"Have you heard of all these weird things going on? Like, slipping a frog eyeball in Snape's shoe… applesauce in Flitwick's hair… I think somebody asked Trelawney about her love life… wearing pink all day…"
"Anything else?" Sia's eyes glinted.
Tonks laughed. "Yes. Seamus Finnigan asked Remus out."
Sia burst out laughing. "I heard."
"Well, do you know what's going on?"
Sia hesitated. "Er, no."
Tonks frowned. Something was a little off. "You don't? I know some first-years were involved."
"Oh?" Sia asked with a little too much nonchalance. "Huh. That's funny. I'll try to figure out. Hmm… interesting. I don't know about this. Funny, huh?"
Tonks raised an eyebrow. "Yep."
"They are kind of funny, though," Sia said. "Don't you think?"
"I mean yeah… but it's sorta weird," Tonks answered.
Sia grinned as her blonde friend ran up to her. "Sia, Sia!"
"Yeah?" Sia asked, turning to her. "Oh, hey, Valentina."
"Sia, do you know if the smiley faces have been done yet?"
"Excuse me?" Tonks asked.
Valentina looked over at Tonks. "Hi, Tonks. Anyway, Sia, I don't think so, but I'm not sure. The Watermelons want to do this."
Sia smirked. "Are you going to do it?"
"I want to," Valentina admitted.
"The watermelons?" Tonks raised an eyebrow. "What is going on here?"
"Girl stuff," Valentina answered vaguely.
"Good luck!" Sia said encouragingly. "You'll do great."
"Hopefully I live up to the expectations," mumbled Valentina.
"Others will do it with you though, right?"
"Yep."
"Okay, then, you'll do great."
"Thank you!" Valentina replied.
"No problem. Good luck!"
Valentina smiled at her before running off.
Tonks frowned. What the heck was happening in this school?!