Discoveries
Chapter 15: Discoveries
October 22, 1993
Kylie was throwing up.
And Liana was watching.
"Gosh, Kylie, is this necessary?" demanded Liana wrinkling her nose. "It's disgusting. Can't you find a bush? You're vomiting all over the ground."
"I can't help it - ah!" Kylie started ralphing again, and Liana rolled her eyes, turning to Candice.
"Why is she throwing up? We've barely had any food."
"That's probably the problem." Candice grimaced. "We have to get proper food."
"But we're out of food," sighed Liana. "We're out of bread. We have a few crackers-"
"Can we please not talk about food?" croaked Kylie, who seemed to be finished and was now slumping against a tree.
"Sure," said Candice.
"But I'm starving!" Liana cried. "Kylie, aren't you hungry?"
"Oh no. The thought of food is making me so sick I could barf again- ahh!"
"Well, you definitely jinxed it," grumbled Candice, closing her eyes. "Let me know when she's done, Liana, would you?"
"No. I'm closing my eyes too. Kylie, do that somewhere else!"
"I can't find a bush anywhere," protested Kylie weakly.
"Then find one! At this rate, I'm going to get sick too," Liana moaned, her stomach doing flips. Kylie lumbered off into the trees and Liana opened her eyes. "You can look, Candice."
"Yeah, okay." Candice opened her eyes. "Yuck. The sound was worse than anything, to be honest."
"No, no. Don't even talk about that," pleaded Liana. Her stomach was feeling queasy.
"Okay." Candice ripped open her backpack. "Do you want some cookies?"
Liana looked at her in disbelief. "You have cookies?"
"They got squished, but yeah. Cookie crumbs. I think it's oatmeal raisin."
Liana made a face. "I don't like them… but better than nothing."
Candice shrugged, passing her the bag. "Take a few and save some for later. I doubt we have much food, anyway."
Liana looked around. "You sure we can't eat berries from forest bushes?"
"They could be poisonous," Candice pointed out. "I don't know."
"Rather take the chance than starve," Liana muttered.
"We'll see how it goes. Oh. Hey, Kylie. You better yet?"
"I think so." Kylie's voice was barely above a whisper. "Can I have some water?"
"Yeah. Candice, pass me the jug. Thanks. Aguamenti. Here you go, Kylie."
Kylie took the jug. "Thanks," she croaked out.
"Well, you sound sick," Candice said. Liana smirked at her straight-forwardness.
"I feel sick."
"You're not going to throw up again, though, right?" Liana asked, her eyes widening with terror.
"No. Queasiness is gone. Just hurts." Kylie rolled over on the ground, moaning.
"Here, Kylie, take some cookie crumbs," Candice said, holding out the bag.
"No! No! No! Take that away," Kylie ordered feebly. Candice popped the bag back into her backpack. "Distract me, guys, please."
"I can tell you a story," Liana offered.
"Please."
"It's about the time my dad tried to bake a cake and burnt up the kitchen."
The corners of Kylie's mouth twitched. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. It exploded in flour, seriously."
Candice smirked. "Sounds interesting."
"Yeah, so, my dad was trying to make vanilla cupcakes, and Merlin he messed up. He filled a pan with flour, okay, and heated it. Then he took vanilla ice cream and put it on the pan. Then he tried scooping the lumpy mixture into a muffin tray and decided that he had too much ice cream."
"Naturally." Kylie let a smile break through on her face.
"Yeah, well. So then he-" Liana broke off suddenly, hearing a rough laugh from behind her. She and her two friends turned around.
"Did I hear a laugh?" Kylie asked incredulously.
"Sounded like a man," murmured Candice.
"A man laughing…" Liana trailed off, her eyes widening. "It was rough. A rough man laughing…"
"Ohmygosh," said Kylie, making it one word. "Did we just… Did we just hear Sirius Black?"
"We found him! I can't believe this!" Candice exclaimed.
"Hurry, hurry!" Liana stood up immediately, flanked by Candice. Kylie, unsurprisingly, couldn't get up from the ground.
Liana ran to the spot where the laugh was from, and saw leaves rustling a few yards away.
"It's him, it's him! He's running from us! KYLIE, STAY THERE!" Liana hollered, and she took off behind the leaves.
Liana had never been exactly athletic. She had a lanky posture and very slim body, but that made her… clumsy. Not athletic. But now, she found herself sprinting off into the woods, following sounds, and she had only tripped twice. Both times, Candice had caught her. But Candice was slowing up, panting and screaming for rest.
"We can't rest!" Liana said. "He'll be gone if we rest."
"We'll be gone if we don't," Candice murmured.
Liana shook her head and darted through the bushes when he heard a sound clatter to the left.
So she sprinted left, and then realized what the sound was.
A big, fat, boulder, which had no doubt been thrown by Sirius.
Shoot.
She'd been tricked. Sirius Black had changed their course by throwing a rock in this direction… Ugh! Everything was all messed up. Their first chance in so long… messed up.
Liana picked up the boulder gingerly, rubbing her fingers against it. "You might have won this time, Sirius Black," she murmured, "but you wait and watch. One day… I will catch you." She let out a harsh laugh. "Let's see what you do then."
"Come on, James, you're taking forever," Lily called.
"Just a minute," replied James, appearing out of his closet and adjusting his belt. "Do I- Woah, Lily, you look gorgeous!"
Lily rolled her eyes, looking down at her clothes. She was wearing a turquoise dress that ended just below her knees, and black tights. Her hair was let down, and she'd curled the edges. "Why the tone of surprise?"
James rolled his eyes. "There isn't."
Lily laughed. "I know, I'm joking. You look good yourself."
James was wearing a dark black shirt and fresh blue jeans. "Just good?"
"Fine, dashing. Handsome. Extremely good-looking. Better?"
"Much." James grinned at her and she laughed.
"Should we go, then?" James took her hand and they headed down to Hogsmeade. "Where do you want to go first?"
"Let's take a look in a shop, first, I'm not hungry." James looked at her. "Is that okay?"
"Of course," Lily said. They poked around in stores, buying a variety of things and daring each other to buy different things.
"Ooh, Madam Puddifoot's." James's eyes took on a mischievous gleam.
"No." Lily's voice was firm. "I'm not going to see a bunch of young couples in there, doing who-knows-what."
James sniggered. "Okay." He checked his watch. "It's almost lunchtime, you want to head to the Three Broomsticks?"
Lily shrugged and so they set off to the Three Broomsticks. "A table for two, please," Lily requested. Madam Rosmerta led them to a small table in the corner, and they plopped down next to each other and ordered their food. As they were getting the order ready, Lily leaned her head against James's shoulder. "James… I have something to talk to you about."
James, who was rubbing her hair, raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
"Yesterday, Irma and Argus were wearing clothes that confessed their love for each other. Do you have any involvement in this?"
"Maybe."
Lily laughed, picking at his sleeve. "Oh, James. Of course it was you."
"Remus helped."
Lily raised her eyebrows. "Really?"
"Yeah, only don't tell him I said that." James's hand moved to her back, sending a pleasant feeling down her spine. "He told me not to tell anyone."
Lily mimed zipping her mouth shut. "I won't say a word."
James laughed, pressing his lips to her hair. "Perfect."
"Here's your order," said Rosmerta, appearing and placing two bowls of salad on the table, along with a cup of gillywater and a mug of steaming butterbeer. "Enjoy."
"Thank you," Lily said warmly, extracting herself from James's grip.
"You're most welcome," Rosmerta tittered before she went to yell at some fourth-years who were being loud.
"They always have good quality food, don't they," murmured James. "This is delicious."
"It's the Three Broomsticks, what do you expect?" Lily laughed.
James laughed, scooting closer to Lily. He put his hands under her chin, cupping them and tilting them upwards.
"Are you serious? We're in a public place," muttered Lily, a blush dancing up her cheeks.
"So?" James asked. "Just stay. Don't move." He brought himself closer to her, but Lily pulled back just as Hermione Granger approached their table nervously.
"Hello, Hermione!" Lily greeted, a little embarrassed.
"Er, Hermione, is this necessary?" James asked. "You interrupted a moment."
"No, you're fine." Lily smacked James on the shoulder. "Go ahead, Hermione, is everything all right?"
Hermione bit her lip. "I don't know if you know… but yesterday Snape assigned an essay on werewolves…?"
Lily's heart raced a little faster. What did she know? How much did she know? "Yeah, and?"
"Well, we hadn't even covered that yet."
Lily's heart hammered inside her chest. This had to be leading towards Remus.
"So?" James asked, but even Lily could hear the nervousness in his voice.
"And I realized that the symptoms we learned… Professor Lupin has them."
Lily stopped in her tracks, but recovered quickly with a forced laugh. "Wow, I never noticed. Haha, what a coincidence."
Hermione didn't look convinced. "And his boggart is the full moon."
Lily paused, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. "Oh."
"And so… he's a werewolf. I know that… and I think you guys do too."
James neither denied nor confirmed this. "Why are you telling us?"
"I wanted to talk to you about it." Hermione gulped. "Is that… Is that true?"
"It is," Lily said. "But Hermione, it's imperative that you don't tell anybody else. I mean it. Nobody can - and nobody should - know."
"I understand," Hermione said. She hesitated. "Not like I have anyone to tell anyway." Her voice was quieter and a little more down.
"Is everything all right?" James asked. He frowned. "Did Harry…"
"No, it's not him." Hermione shook her head. "Never mind that. Well, er, I mean… I know that it's safe. His lycanthropy and everything-"
"You know that word?" James looked impressed. "Wow, even I don't know how to say it. Li-can-do what?"
Hermione blinked before turning to Lily, a confused expression on her face. "What…?"
Lily shook her head. "Forget it. He's being sarcastic. But seriously, you're not afraid?"
Hermione shook her head. "I think it's nothing to worry about. Once a month he needs to be isolated from us, nothing… nothing else. Dumbledore knows, right?"
James nodded. "So do the rest of the staff. And so does Harry. But nobody else."
"Sure. I get it. I won't tell anyone. I think it's safe, honestly." She went on. "He's a brilliant teacher, it doesn't matter whether he's a… whether he's a werewolf or troll or hag."
Lily's face broke out into a smile. "Remus would love that."
Hermione looked confused. "What, being a hag?"
"No, no. I mean that you don't care. He's worried people don't like him."
"I always told him he was off about that one," laughed James. "But he's self-conscious. He has a right to be. I just feel bad for him."
"So do I," said Hermione. "I won't tell him, though."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. Maybe added pressure? Or maybe he'll think that since I figured it out, all the other kids can too." She smiled. "I wouldn't want that to happen. It would stress him out and everything, and I want him to treat me as a normal student. Not as… someone else. As a secret-keeper."
Lily smiled. "You are a very brilliant child."
"Thank you," Hermione said.
"No, thank you," James put in. "You don't know how much this means. Just please keep it silent."
Hermione nodded. "Sure."
Lily kept the smile on until Hermione had walked away, and it dropped as she looked at James. "That was… weird."
"It sure was," agreed James.
It could have gone a lot worse.
Tonks was surprised that an eleven-year-old could be so fun.
Sia's originally tough attitude (that she showed to the majority of Hogwarts) completely vanished when she was with Tonks. Tonks didn't know why, but she learned that Sia had a tender, soft, funny side of her, and she rather liked it.
But sometimes, Sia could be reserved. Quiet, scared, and a little shady. Secretive. Tonks had learned that this cropped up when they talked about her family (completely understandable), and when they talked about other things that had no pattern to it. Sia would be laughing, and then they'd start talking about something and her mood would surprisingly shift.
"-into detention. Obviously," summed up Tonks, finishing her story about a stupid boy in her class (back when she was at Hogwarts) who hadn't finished his homework and cooked up a stupid story to avoid it.
"Wow." Sia laughed alongside her. "That's…"
"Dumb?" offered Tonks.
"Yeah. Dumb. Extremely dumb."
Tonks grinned. "I'm glad you agree." She stretched her arms out and scratched her pinky finger against a sheet of paper on the table, causing a speck of blood to ooze out of her finger. "Ouch. Curse it. Me and my clumsy attraction to injuries." She laughed, turning to Sia, fully expecting to see a laugh on her face too. But she was wrong.
Sia was leaning away from her, her mouth pinched together in a straight line and her jawline set. Her teeth were firmly clenched together, and she seemed to be concentrating, her nose wrinkled in disgust.
"Sia?" Tonks frowned. "Are you okay?" She held out a hand towards her, but Sia scooted away on the couch, her hands instinctively flying to her nose.
Now Tonks was bewildered. "What's… What's wrong?"
Sia opened her mouth hesitantly, before snapping it shut immediately.
"Sia?"
"Your cut," she croaked out weakly, facing the opposite direction.
Tonks frowned, looking down at her cut. It was really small, honestly, just a dry line of blood leading down her finger. "Episkey," she murmured, waving her wand over the cut. "Better now?" She didn't get what was the problem, even if it was better.
Sia shook her head and darted out of the room.
Tonks immediately felt terrible. Had she done something? Had she been mean? Had her cut done something? Was Sia scared of blood? What had happened? Maybe she'd messed it up. Had Sia said something about this before? Had Sia mentioned anything? She'd grown up in a strict household, probably… hmm… maybe they were against blood? Cuts? Or papercuts? They'd brought her up against getting cuts? But why the wrinkle… maybe her blood smelled? But no, Tonks was closer to the cut than Sia was, so how would it smell bad to her? Something else must have been going on.
Interrupting Tonks from her thoughts, the door entered and Sia came back in, taking a deep breath.
"Hi," she said, her voice back to normal. Her face was pale, paler than it usually was, but other than that, Tonks couldn't see a difference.
"Hey," Tonks said, trying to muster nonchalance. She couldn't.
"I'm sorry about that," Sia said sheepishly. "I was rude."
"No you weren't," Tonks said firmly. "It's all right." She hesitated, not wanting to pry. "Are you… Do you want to talk about it, though?"
Sia's eyes widened and she started trembling, before she squeezed her eyes tight, steadying herself with long, deep breaths. "I don't think I can." Her voice was quiet, afraid now.
"That's completely okay," Tonks reassured her, finding that she meant it. "It's your privacy, I didn't mean to pry."
"No, no!" Sia looked horrified. "It's not that, it's that once you figure out… well… you won't want to be friends with me anymore."
Tonks blinked. "What?"
Sia gulped. "It's bad."
Tonks shook her head. "No. No, Sia, no. Nothing can make me stop being your friend anymore. You're a good person, I know that."
Sia didn't smile. "No, I'm not."
It was a moment before Tonks found words. "Is it something you can control?"
There was a silence, and Tonks was about to ask a different question when Sia said, in a shaky, quiet voice that one could argue it hadn't been said at all, "No."
Tonks relaxed. "So this isn't your choice."
"No!" Sia cried. "I hate it! More than anything! I hate this so much! It's like a curse. I wish I could get rid of it."
"Were you born with it?" asked Tonks gently. Whatever 'it' is, she thought.
Sia bit her lip. "In… In a way, yeah."
"It's okay. I'm not going to dislike you after figuring it out," Tonks said warmly. "I have a…friend …" - she emphasized the word - "who is a werewolf. It doesn't matter to me, honestly."
Sia shook her head. "You don't get it. A werewolf is only a danger to you once a month, the rest of the time they're in control. Plus, you know when they're going to be a danger to you. Mine is… unpredictable."
"Whatever it is… I don't care." Tonks's voice was firm. "You can tell me, trust me, whatever, but it doesn't make a difference. You're still the Sia I know, whatever you are."
Sia closed her eyes, and Tonks realized this must all be overwhelming to her. She stayed silent, giving her a chance to think.
"You know how I told you… You know how I told you that I don't sleep?" Sia asked hesitantly.
"Of… Of course," Tonks said, puzzled. This had been an extremely awkward conversation, one of their first. She'd immediately told her that she didn't sleep, and it had just popped up in the conversation.
"And how I got hungry when you cut your finger?"
"Yeah, I mean… wait. Hungry?"
Sia didn't say anything.
Something clicked in the back of Tonks's brain. "Oh."
Sia stayed frozen to the spot, her eyes wild with terror. "I'm sorry."
Tonks looked up. "Are you crazy? What on earth are you sorry for? I should be sorry! I'm so, so, so, genuinely sorry that you have to go through all of this, but I swear it doesn't make a difference to me! Heck, you're a vampire. If… If Harry turns out to be a dragon, he can join the club too! I don't care."
Sia shook her head. "Please, Tonks, don't. Don't play with my feelings. I get that I've deceived you and lied to you about who I am… I get that it's repulsive to you, but don't… don't do this."
"Who says I'm playing with your feelings? Sia, trust me. It's okay. I'll be careful around you. I won't cut myself or bleed or anything."
"But that… that's the point," Sia explained. "I don't want you to have to be extra careful around me or anything. You should be able to be normal. It's not safe." She closed her eyes. "Why aren't you yelling at me? Teasing me? Bombarding me with questions about whether I drink blood or how the sun affects me or anything? How are you so… kind?"
Tonks looked at her. "I'm being myself. I'm being myself around Sia. I don't care if you're a vampire. I don't care. Do you understand? I'm sorry, yes. That an eleven-year-old has been going through this since her birth, and I'm willing to help out. I told you, it doesn't matter. If I can help you - yes, I will. But otherwise, we can pretend you're not. It doesn't matter."
Sia took a step back, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "I… I think I believe you. But I really need some time. Can you leave me alone for a little bit?"
"Of course," answered Tonks, but she was already out the door.
Remus was lonely.
Everyone else was going to Hogsmeade in couples or in friend groups… and he didn't have either.
Okay yes, he did have James. But how could you call that a friend group?
As for the couple… well… there was a certain Auror he had in mind, but he was a hundred percent sure that she didn't like him back. Why would she? He was a loathsome, foul, despicable creature, labelled to the society as bloodthirsty and evil!
It had been extremely overwhelming when she'd told him that she didn't care about his lycanthropy, and she still wanted to be friends with him. It took his mind a moment to adjust to that, and he'd accepted it.
But he still had doubts.
Why would anyone want to be his friend, let alone girlfriend?
But even though Tonks didn't reciprocate his feelings, he couldn't help himself from liking her. He wanted to. He needed to. He knew that James would approve that he'd found a lady-love. James told him that he was being stupid, that girls swooned over him.
Remus didn't know why people kept saying that.
No one would like him. He didn't know how to plant those words into everybody's brain - no one would like him! He was unlikeable, the epitome of unlikeable. They'd show interest, figure out he was a werewolf, then ditch him. It was natural.
"Remus, are you sure you don't want to come to Hogsmeade with us?" Lily asked, jerking him out of his thoughts.
"What was that?"
"You can come to Hogsmeade with us, mate," said James, grinning. "We wouldn't mind."
Yes, they would. Remus knew that. They would try being very "appropriate" and it would be really awkward, the two of them there and Remus planted in the middle. He didn't want to be a bother. Either way, he had a few… plans in store. Plans that he hoped would happen.
"No, it's fine. Really." Remus smiled at them both. "You guys enjoy your day."
He could tell the relief in their eyes, and he was glad. He'd learned over time that if he couldn't be happy, he should at least make sure everyone else was.
"Thanks," Lily thanked him before grabbing James's hand and pulling him away. Remus resisted the urge to laugh as he heard bickering and kisses as they set out of the castle. Sappy old couple, they were.
He roamed the hallways, not a particular destination in mind, but a particular person in mind, when he bumped into two people he had not expected to see, least of all together; Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape.
"Severus. Dumbledore." He nodded in greeting.
"Hello, Remus." Dumbledore gave Remus the twinkling, knowing smile. "How are you? How's Defense going?"
"Fine," muttered Remus, still a little stiff about the whole Giant Squid thing.
"Glad to hear that," Dumbledore said, nodding amusedly.
"Your Wolfsbane is ready," Snape said, his voice neither warm nor cold.
Remus shot him a look. "I'd like to speak with you for a moment… if that's okay."
Snape looked at Dumbledore, and back. "I'm not sure. We were on our way for a… meeting."
Yes, it was most unusual. Snape and Dumbledore had some bond between them (the same bond that Dumbledore banked on to trust Snape) and kept having meetings in secret.
"No, go ahead," Dumbledore said. "I'm sure it's important. And won't take long."
Snape sighed and followed Remus to the nearest empty classroom. "Yes?"
Remus hesitated, not sure where to start. "When you take over DADA…"
Severus smirked. "So that's where it's going?"
"Look," sighed Remus, "it's your class. I respect you and what you do with the class. I just request that you don't showcase my condition like that in front of the class."
He raised an eyebrow. "And if I don't…?"
"Nothing will happen." Remus took a deep breath. "At the end of the day, it's your class. You can do what you want. I respect you a lot, Severus, I respect your actions a lot more than you do about me. But still, I hope that you'll listen and not… do something like that again."
Something flashed in Snape's eyes, but before Remus had time to calculate what it was, it was gone. "I'll be sure to consider that," he said. "Have a good day, Lupin."
And he left in one long stride, leaving Remus to hope that Severus would do what he asked.