Draco stared impatiently at the door. Behind him, the party was at its peak. The Weird Sisters were blaring trough the stereo, people were dancing excessively or chattering enthusiastically. All inhibitions were lost thanks to Luna’s special punch. It was a very dangerous drink which made you feel woozy with just one glass.
Draco fell in love with the punch at one of Luna’s garden parties. He thought it would be utterly boring, so he drank three glasses of the surprisingly tasty, fruity punch. The party soon turned out to be the greatest Draco ever went to, though he couldn’t remember anything afterwards. Half of the participants went home half naked and more than a little unsteady on their feet, tripping several times before making it to the gate. The other half was lying passed out in the garden in various states of undress and covered in mud or vomit. It was brilliant.
Today though, Draco kept his distance from the punch, he was the host after all. He was in charge of organizing Blaise’ stag night and therefore had a duty to see everything was going according to plan. And though Draco was slightly tipsy, he took his responsibility as Blaise’s bridesmaid very seriously.
Yes, you heard that right. Draco was bridesmaid. And yes, he would wear a dress to Blaise’s wedding. Yes, he lost a bet, but how could he know Blaise’s new stepfather would last only two months before dying!? Mrs. Zabini had said it was “true love” when Draco had come over for tea. Okay, the extremely loaded man was already hundredfourteen years old, but he was the blossoming life personified! It was just rude to die after only two months of marriage. He had bet Archibald would have lasted at least five months longer.
Draco was jolted out of his thoughts when there was a loud knock at the door. Draco only heard it over the blaring music because he was pressed against the door, though. He swung the door open. Two men in red robes stood before him. Draco let his eyes roam appreciatively over the uniform clad bodies. He had waited all day for this moment. This was going to be the highlight of the party.
“Good evening, we are from the DMLE. We were called for nocturnal disturbance” One of them said in a low baritone voice that send a shiver down Draco’s spine.
“Of course, you are” Draco drawled seductively and gestured inside. “Please, do come in– wait, Potter?” Draco’s eyes nearly fell out, they went so big.
Potter looked equally shocked. “Malfoy” he said faintly.
After a few minutes of staring, Potter’s colleague cleared his throat. Draco shook himself out of his trance and shrugged. “Didn’t know you were a stripper, Potter. Whatever, come in. I have a hundred people and one soon-to-be-married best friend waiting for a show.” Draco pushed the Aurors inside.
In the hallway though, Potter began to struggle. “Wait, Malfoy, you’re misunderstanding something!”
“Nonsense. I have to admit, I would never have dreamed of seeing the wizarding worlds saviour strip for a living, especially with your atrocious dancing skills – I just say Yule Ball! But if anyone can pull it off, it’s you. You never seize to surprise me, Potter.” Draco dragged the black-haired man further down the hall.
Another knock sounded. Annoyed Draco let his grip on Potter go and muttered “I haven’t ordered anything else.”
When he opened the door, he was met with two red robed men. Though their robes were more of a see-through material. “We’re from the Auror Corps and got a call for nightly disturbance. You’re under arrest for” –both men dramatically teared off their robes to reveal a sexy muggle police outfit– “too much sexiness.”
Confused, Draco let the men in. “Have I double-booked or something?”
The Auror that came with Potter snorted.
Potter was as red as a tomato. “Malfoy, we are no strippers. We are real Aurors.”
Draco blinked. “Oh. So, you’re really here because of nightly disturbance?” If that was true, he needed some punch.
Potter looked at him sourly and nodded. His partner was full on laughing now.
Draco blinked again. “Oh, that’s a shame.” He let his eyes roam over Potter again. A great shame, indeed.
“If you don't turn the music down, we'll have to break up your party” Potter said.
“Potter, what the fuck!” Finally, Draco didn’t blink anymore. “We are wizards, what are silencing charms for? I’ve put up a dozen before the party began.”
“Well, they didn’t work and the noise disturbs the neighbors.”
Sighing, Draco said to the Aurors “Alright. The real Aurors: stay here, I’ll be right back. The Stripper-Aurors: come with me.” He shooed the strippers down the hall.
In the party room, when the strippers began their show, he noticed that the real aurors had followed him. Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned to the Aurors. “Would you mind helping me put up the silencing charms again? I’m a little intoxicated and don’t know if I can do the charms correctly. Will that solve the problem?”
Potter looked like he wanted to argue but was elbowed by his colleague. “After this we’re off duty. Mind if we join the party?”
Arching an eyebrow, Draco looked the other Auror up and down. “And you are?”
“John Holt. Pleasure to meet you” he stuck out his hand. Draco shook it. Johns fingers caressed Draco’s hand when he let go. John was really good looking. Draco smirked, “Mmh, we’ll see about the pleasure part.”
Potter seemed angry – jealous? – but Draco didn’t have the time to think about it further because he spotted a woman with a black bob.
“Oh, Pansy, that bitch. Potter, John, you have to arrest her! I bet it was her who destroyed my silencing charms because she’s jealous I’m bridesmaid and not her.”
Potter’s eyes bulged, “Bridesmaid?”
“That’s what I’ve said, do keep up.” Pansy met Draco’s eyes and startled. Looking guilty, she made to run away. “Pansy, you cow, stay where you are!” Draco screamed and stormed after her.
“He’s the bridesmaid.” Potter said faintly.
Next to him, John leered after Draco. “He would look good in a dress.”
Potter hit John over the head and dragged him outside. Like hell he would let his colleague flirt with Malfoy any longer!
“You”, Harry huffed indignantly instead of greeting Neville, “have some explaining to do!” He accentuated each word with a well-aimed poke into Neville’s chest.
“What did I do?” Neville cried out and rubbed his chest defensively. Harry took a seat at the table in the Hogwarts greenhouses where his other Gryffindor friends were already gathered for Neville’s stag-tea party.
While Neville poured him a cup of tea, Harry began to voice his problem. “Last week I had a case of nightly disturbance and where did I end up?” Neville’s eyes widened slightly and he had the decency to look sheepish. Harrys eyes flashed dangerously. “Exactly. At your fiancés stag night, organized by none other than Draco Malfoy who – apparently – is bridesmaid! I am your best man! Why haven’t you told me that Malfoy is bridesmaid?”
“I’m sorry, Harry. I thought it best not to tell you until the wedding. As best man and bridesmaid you have to spent some time closely together at the wedding and I didn’t want you to be upset about it or decline being my best man because of it. You two have a complicated history, after all. I thought, if you already were at the wedding you couldn’t back out when you saw him there.” Neville looked down at the floor in dismay.
Sighing, Harry clapped Neville’s shoulder. “I’m really honored to be best man, Neville. I wouldn’t give that up for the world.” Neville gave Harry a tentative smile.
“So, bridesmaid, huh” Ron tried to lighten the mood. “Is Malfoy going to wear a dress?”
That had everybody laughing because the idea was just absurd. But Neville grinned and said “In fact, Draco is going to wear a pink dress, with lots of bows and frills.” Everybody choked on their tea at that.
“No way” Ron spluttered, “Blimey” Seamus spluttered, “Really?” Dean asked.
Neville nodded solemnly. “Really. He lost a bet to Blaise.” Everyone but Harry cried out in delight.
“Please tell me, you instructed Colin to take lots of pictures! I have to print that image on a t-shirt!” Seamus wheezed when he got his laughter in control.
“I'm going to make postcards out of those pictures! The world needs to have ugly Malfoy postcards” Ron chuckled.
“I think, he’s going to look cute in a dress” Harry sighed dreamily. Ron stared at his friend in horror.
“What?” Harry asked when he notice everyone looking at him incredulously. “Malfoy’s handsome and always immaculately dressed, he can pull it off.”
“Right” Ron shook his head and turned to Neville. “Why was Blaise’s stag night already last week?”
“Because Draco insisted on throwing Blaise a big party. And it had to be a week in advance so they could recover until the wedding. Today they are at the spa to get face masks and manicure. I wanted only a peaceful get together, that’s why Blaise allowed us to have a tea party today.” Neville smiled contentedly.
“A shame we don’t get any strippers for a bit of action”, Ron muttered.
Seamus’ face lit up. “I could show you my newest party trick! It’s not dangerous at all, I promise! At least not if the air is humid enough.”
“Seamus, no! What did you promise me?” Neville said sternly.
Seamus slouched into his chair and pouted, “No explosives until after the wedding.”
Draco twirled in his pale pink dress in front of the mirror critically. His short blond hair was perfectly styled, his nails polished a soft pink matching the dress and his eye make up in various shades of grey, making his eyes look big and silver. The dress fluffed around his legs, caressing his pale skin.
Draco sighed dramatically. He felt like cotton candy personified. But hell, if he wasn’t the most delicious cotton candy to walk the earth!
He bent down to put on his high heels which made his legs endlessly long. For the finishing touch he put on some raspberry lipgloss and smacked his lips. He may be a fairy princess today, but he owned it. In fact, Draco planned to make at least five girls cry because he wore the dress and heels that much better.
He decided to check up on Blaise and see if he got any last-minute anxieties or doubts. But Blaise’s nervous pacing ceased immediately when the groom spotted his best friend and broke out in a fit of hysterical laughter.
“Gosh, Draco, sweet, sweet darling. Aren’t you a sight to behold! I knew the dress is made for you!” Blaise giggled and held his stomach.
“I live to entertain” Draco drawled and leaned over Blaise to straighten his tie. “Ready to get married?”
Blaise nodded and smiled goofily. Draco had never seen his friend that happy. “Neville is the love of my life. I don’t know how I deserve him.”
“Aw, sweet pea! Of course, you deserve him! You are the cutest and most perfect couple in the whole world, it’s disgusting, really. And now off you go before I vomit!” Draco shooed his friend out of the room.
When he himself exited he stumbled into a firm chest. Looking up he met emerald green eyes and stepped back hastily.
Potter and Draco stared at each other for a while. Each taking a moment to assess the other. Draco had to admit that Potter was gorgeous in his form fitting grey suit and pale pink necktie matching Draco’s dress. Since when was Potter that fit? Momentarily the blond got lost in very distracting thoughts.
“Wow. Look at you!” Potter whistled in appreciation. “Aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice?”
Annoyed, Draco huffed. Why does Potter have to be so bloody irritating and sexy when he opens his mouth. “Well, aren’t you rudeness, and sarcasm and everything – Oh…” Draco faltered and blushed heavily.
Potter smirked and said amused “No, no, go on, please. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I’ll be an utmost gentleman tonight.”
Draco shook his head, searching for a witty comeback. “You have one dirty mind, Potter. I do not appreciate your enthusiasm.” His face lit up. “Oh. There you have your rhyme!”
Potter seemed to consider this and nodded slowly. “Not what I hoped for, but I let it count.” Potter bowed and offered Draco his arm.
Right. Potter was supposed to be Draco’s escort for tonight because they were best man and bridesmaid. Sniffing imperiously, Draco curled his fingers around Potter’s bicep. Merlin, and what a bicep it was. Draco gripped Potter’s arm a little tighter, just to avoid stumbling in his heels, of course.
They walked down the aisle arm in arm and wasn’t that just surreal? Weasley wolf-whistled then and Draco gave him the finger which gained some scandalous gasps from the audience.
A few minutes later Neville and Blaise followed, hand in hand, smiling sappily at each other, eyes shining with tears of joy.
Midway through the wedding ceremony, when Neville and Blaise had said their vows, Draco felt his eyes dampen and had to blink rapidly.
Beside him Potter shifted and gave him a curious look. “Malfoy, are you crying? Don’t tell me your icy heart is feeling touched!?”
“Shut up, Potter!” Draco sniffled and blinked some more but accepted the handkerchief Potter offered. “Malfoys don’t get touched and cry at weddings. That’s merely an allergic reaction to all the love in the air, I’ll have you know. Love is disgusting, really.”
„Sure, Malfoy“, Potter shrugged and smirked. Potter, the prat, was smirking rather a lot today. It was a good look on him and Draco wanted to snog – eh, punch that smugness off Potter’s face.
Later at the reception, Potter kept close to Draco, his hand constantly at the small of Draco’s back. Why Draco put up with it was beyond him, but it was kind of comforting. And Merlin, he needed comforting to endure all the comments about his dress.
Of course, the blond knew he looked dashing. And some stupid jokes couldn’t crush his confidence. But he had to admit Potter’s presence next to him was reassuring. Also, he glared pretty scarily at everyone who commented on Draco’s outfit or tried to pet him, like Aunt Ruth. That witch had pinched Draco’s cheek several times as if to rip off a chunk of his flesh with her podgy fingers. When Aunt Ruth said that Draco looked scrumptious, Potter had growled threateningly and Aunt Ruth retreated quickly.
But of course, Potter’s glaring had no effect on his stupid friends. They were fearless Gryffindorks after all and approached Draco shamelessly.
“You look like you fell into a puddle of unicorn poop” Weasley said gleefully and broke out in cackling laughter.
Draco rolled his eyes. “Mmh, very creative.”
“Are you the Sugar Plum Fairy? I could be your nutcracker” Seamus winked at him suggestively.
Potter scowled and slipped his hand possessively around Draco’s waist and wasn’t that interesting. Draco decided to test the waters a bit and said to Seamus. “No, thank you. I already got Potter for anything nut-related.”
While the Gryffindorks choked and spluttered, Potter didn’t disagree with Draco’s statement. Rather, he seemed kind of pleased.
Draco’s attention was then drawn away from further musings about Potter’s interesting reactions by the announcement that Neville was going to throw his bouquet.
He rushed to the floor where all unmarried ladies had already gathered, pushing against each other to get into a better spot. Then, Neville turned his back to the waiting crowd and threw his bouquet high in the air.
Thanks to the high heels, Draco was the tallest. He gracefully kicked Pansy out of his way, squealing gleefully “Take that, Pansy!” – he still hadn’t forgiven her for breaking the silencing charms at Blaise’s stag night – and elegantly snatched the flowers out of Granger’s outstretched, waiting hands. Draco would have liked to take pride in his Seeker’s abilities, but his triumph was all due to his long limbs and Granger’s shortness.
Draco turned innocently to Granger who glared at him. He vaguely recalled Weasley promising to propose that day if Granger caught the bouquet. Draco patted her head consolingly. “Don’t glower, Granger. You should thank me! I’m gifting you a bit more time in freedom!”
Really, Draco deserved a medal for postponing the most frightening union of the century. Weasley wasn’t a bad bloke, after the war he became kind of alright and good looking. But that ginger hair was just an eyesore. And now think about ginger combined with the bushiness of Granger’s hair! Merlin, what a nightmare.
Granger didn’t take his honest, heroic act well, though. She charged at him with a grim, determined expression that promised war. Draco was momentarily stunned, remembering Granger’s right hook, that broke his nose in third year and he knew that Granger would fight him for the bouquet the muggle way.
So, Draco did the sensible thing and fled. He ran straight to Potter, clutched onto his shoulders and hid behind his back.
“Hand over the bouquet and we can solve this peacefully, Malfoy!” Granger said, breathing heavily while containing her rage.
“Never! I caught it! It’s rightfully mine.” Draco peeked experimentally over Potter’s shoulder. He had to admit, the Gryffindor was very useful. Such broad and muscular shoulders…
“You don’t even plan to get married anytime soon! Or do you have a special someone right now?” Granger demanded to know.
Potter stiffened and Draco absentmindedly kneaded his shoulders back into a more relaxed state. “No, I don’t have one. But that doesn’t mean I have no right to catch the flowers. That’s discrimination against single, gay people!”
Granger narrowed her eyes at Draco but nodded. She huffed indignantly and Draco knew he had won the argument. Granger would never be accused of discriminating against others.
When it was safe to come out, Draco emerged from his hideout. He decided to go look for a drink because he really needed one after that stressful confrontation but didn’t make it far when Potter grabbed his hand.
“Aren’t you going to thank me?” Potter asked.
Draco raised one eyebrow delicately. “For what?”
“For being the human shield that stood between you and getting your face polished by Hermione.” Potter’s boyish smile that made his heart flutter was the only reason why Draco accepted that stupid reason and didn’t remind the Gryffindor of promising to be a gentleman for the entire night. It was basically Potter’s duty to protect Draco.
“Alright” Draco conceded. “What do you want?”
“Dance with me” Potter’s grip on Draco’s hand tightened.
Sighing, Draco handed the bouquet to Aunt Cecile for safekeeping. “Guard the flowers with your life! I had to endure so many hardships to get it, it’s a very precious trophy!”
“Of course, dear” Aunt Cecile replied kindly. “Now go dance with your boyfriend. I must say, you’re the perfect couple!”
Draco’s cry of „No, no, Aunt Cecile! We’re not together!” was lost on her though when Potter dragged him to the dancefloor.
Potter put his hand on Draco’s waist and the Slytherin immediately protested. “Potter, honestly! I vividly remember your two left feet from the Yule-Ball in fourth year! I will lead, naturally.” Draco put Potter’s hand on his shoulder and grabbed Potter by the waist. “Besides, I’m taller, midget.”
“Hey, I’m not that small! You’re only taller because of the Heels” Potter grumbled but let himself be swirled around by Draco.
Surprisingly, Potter made a fine dance partner. He reacted wonderfully to Draco’s leading, not stepping once on Draco’s toes. Draco had to admit, he was having quite a great deal of fun. Judging by Potter’s smile, he was having a lot of fun, too.
One dance became two, three. Then Draco lost count, enjoying the warmth of Potter’s hand, the solid presence of Potter’s body pressed against his own. Potter’s hand creeped slowly but surely up Draco’s shoulder to rest at his neck, caressing gently his nape.
Way too soon though, Draco had to end their dancing when the pain of wearing high heels the entire day became too much. Already lamenting the inevitable loss of Potter’s proximity, Draco disentangled himself from the Gryffindor.
„My feet are killing me“ he moaned and was promptly swept off his feet.
Draco blinked and found himself scooped up in Potter’s arms.
“My knight in shining armour!” the blond exclaimed and batted his eyelashes.
Potter just shrugged and said “Anything for the fairy princess.”
“Anything, really?” Draco asked, already calculating. Time to see, where the tension he sensed between Potter and him all day would lead to. He let his hand draw patterns seductively on the Gryffindor’s chest.
“Anything” Potter nodded and grinned.
“Then take me out of here” Draco said suggestively.
Potter’s grin turned predatory as he leaned in to whisper into Draco’s ear “And then?”
Draco suppressed a shudder. It was his turn to lean into Potter, and when he did, he nibbled at Potter’s earlobe. “Then, you will give me a private strip tease, Auror Potter.”
Potter tightened his hold on Draco and growled against Draco’s lips. “Mister Malfoy, you’re under arrest–“ Potter kissed Draco harshly “–for too much sexiness.” Then he apparated.
The End.