Chapter 24
“Ms Granger, am I boring you? Because if you’d rather make a fool of yourself at your wedding, then by all means continue disregarding me.” Narcissa told the brunette with a raise of her eyebrow. Hermione blinked and tried to get herself to zone back in. They were going over the guest list again to try and help her differentiate who would be there that she needed to know and whom she should avoid as much as possible at the wedding.
“Sorry, I’m a little preoccupied,” Mione told the older witch with only mild embarrassment.
“You aren’t normally so blatant when you ignore me. Is there something I should know?” Hermione paused for a moment, confused slightly by the fact that Narcissa seemed to care that something was wrong. It was a little out of character and Hermione wondered if she wasn’t growing on the woman since they’d been spending so much time together.
“Actually, would you mind if I asked you a somewhat personal question?” Narcissa seemed slightly taken aback, but nodded and set the photographs she was holding down.
“I suppose that would be alright, so long as it’s nothing vulgar.”
“You and Mr Malfoy had an arranged marriage, correct?”
“Of course. All pure-bloods, at least those in my generation, have arranged marriages.”
“When... this may seem a bit of a peculiar question, but when did you first kiss him? Or want to kiss him, if they weren’t simultaneous.” Her future mother-in-law eyed her carefully.
“I always knew I was going to marry Lucius, his father and mine wrote the contract shortly after I was born. If I’d been a boy he would have married my older sister, but since I wasn’t it was deemed that I was the best fit in our society to be raised as the next future Malfoy. Because of this, ours wasn’t the usual courting process. When I arrived at Hogwarts I met him for the first time. He was already a third year when I was sorted, so our impressions of each other were a bit askew. He saw me as a child, and I saw him as a mean spirited boy. I’m afraid my son inherited his attitude from his father in that regard.” Narcissa told her with a regretful smile. “For most of my schooling career, I stayed away from Lucius, actually. He was a decent student but not very dedicated to his work. He’d much rather have played quidditch or taunted the younger students with his friends. My parents had very high expectations of us all, and I’d seen how they reacted when Bella brought home poor marks, so I was focused on my classwork. I didn’t give more than a passing thought to Lucius, really, until my fourth year when he was about to graduate. He had always been confident in himself, but I’d never seen him take anything practical seriously until that year. He was stuck up and still rude, but by then he had this sort of charm about himself. I started to see someone who could be reliable and who would provide a structured home life for a future family. When I went home for the summer I asked my father what Lucius would be doing now that he’d left Hogwarts, and he told me that Abraxas was ushering him into the family company; he’d be fiscally in charge of the herbology supplies the company dealt with, the creatures the company traded, and a number of other... shall we say less than above board sections of the company.”
“So when he graduated and proved he could provide for you, that’s when you started to develop feelings for him?”
“Merlin, no.” Narcissa chuckled softly. “I was certainly more intrigued by him than I had been, but I wasn’t ready to see him as anything more than an arranged future. In fact, I was still against marrying him at that point in time. I never said anything aloud, of course. That wouldn’t be proper. But as a girl, I suppose I fancied the idea of love. And you don’t walk into an arranged marriage and automatically love someone. I’m sure at the time, from the way he acted, Lucius still saw me as a mere child. It wasn’t until my sixth year that we started properly courting. When the school took trips to Hogsmead, my sisters would escort me to dates with him so we could get to know one another. It was slow to build smooth conversation and affection but by our wedding day, I could count him as a friend at the very least, and I had started to find him pleasing to the eye. I was nervous, of course. I walked down the aisle with doxies in my stomach and my mind a wreck with nerves, hoping he didn’t still see me as a child. But Mother and Father were the happiest I’d ever seen them. Even at Bella’s wedding, they weren’t that emotional, so I tried to hide it. Following our vows, we turned to each other and pledged our lives together and I had my first kiss. I’m sure he’d kissed others before, but as he was my first suitor, he was my first. I worried I wasn’t adequate enough. It was chaste and lasted mere seconds, and I didn’t feel the fire I’d heard some of my friends speak about. But that night, he proved to me that he did indeed see me as a woman. We still didn’t communicate like couples who come together on their own until years into our marriage but little by little we found common ground, things to do together that would foster more of a bond. We grew fond of each other and I felt content. When we finally had Draco, after years of not being able to get pregnant and loosing two children, I looked over at him as he stared at our son. I saw the adoration in his eyes as he held our baby. The veneration he showed for me for bringing our child into the world. And I realised at some point I’d fallen in love with him. I don’t know if Lucius truly loves me, as I do him, but I know he respects me and trusts me as a partner and equal. I am not expecting you and my son to fall in love or to hold each other in affection, Hermione. I simply ask that you try to find that common ground. Find a way to make this a happy home, be a partner to one another, and if nothing else try to become friends. I know it will be challenging, my son has more of his father’s traits than I sometimes wish, but I’ve learned that with the right push you can get the Malfoy men to do anything.” Hermione turned the words over in her brain, slowly picking the knowledge apart. She’d never thought she’d have anything in common with Narcissa Malfoy, but she was coming to understand that they were kindred spirits in a number of ways.
“Narcissa, I promise you I will do my best to have a partnership with your son. I know we may not appear too pleasant to each other in front of you, but our banter these last two weeks or so has actually been good-natured. I must confess, I’ve actually started to look forward to some of our conversations and all day I’ve been unable to think of anything but what I heard someone say at Nev and Luna’s wedding yesterday. They talked about how uncomfortable their first kiss had been, at the altar in front of everyone. And since then, I must admit I’ve been dwelling on what my first kiss with Malfoy may be like. I’m nervous, of course, but I think that I may also be... excited? I’m not sure if that is the right word. I have always found your son attractive, in an elegant, aristocratic sort of way. But before this law, I had never acknowledged that as anything more than a passing thought.” She seemed a little stunned at the admission.
“I didn’t think you were the type to fall in love so quickly as to have feelings for my son in less than a month.”
“I would hardly call them feelings. Stirrings, maybe. But I’m certainly not in love with him. I think it’s more that I can actually find myself enjoying his company without fear or anger, and because of that I’ve started allowing myself to consciously acknowledge these thoughts for the first time.”
“Ah. Well, that makes much more sense.”
“I was asking you about your courtship because I wanted to get your opinion on whether this is something I should bring up to your son. The kissing, I mean. Do I just wait until the wedding or...”
“As a woman of propriety, I must insist you wait until you are at the altar. It wouldn’t do to be ‘wanton’ before your wedding.” She raised her hands in quotations around the word wanton. “However, as someone who can see that the way I was raised isn’t applicable in almost every part of this situation, I recommend speaking to Draco about this. Assuage your fears or anxiety about the kiss and anything else that may be bothering you about the wedding.” Hermione nodded, confident and determined now that she had a clear heading. “One more word of advice, Ms Granger?”
“Yes?”
“You might want to start addressing my son by his given name. You will be married in two weeks, it wouldn’t do to have you calling each other by your surnames at the ceremony. Especially since yours will no longer be your title.”