Chapter 15 (*)
The group decided to take a small breather. Hermione washed the lettering off of her forehead, Neville gave Astoria her panties back as she and Ron switched their clothes again. Dean helped Seamus untie himself and Malfoy pulled the elastics out of his hair as they got ready to continue with a (hopefully more intense {as Zabini put it}) game of ‘I Never’. The Slytherin’s, Hermione had learned, weren’t nearly as brave as Gryffindor’s. She guessed it had something to do with the sense of self-preservation that most of her housemates lacked. But, according to them, when they normally played Truth or Dare for an hour (Had it really been that long?) they were much drunker than they currently were. They hoped ‘I Never’ was more alcoholic. When everyone re-entered the room Astoria had them all switch seats to reorder everything. She was next to Ginny still but Dean was on the other side and Neville was by her and Ginny’s feet.
“Okay, rules are pretty much the same. If someone asks ‘I Never’ and you have you take a shot. If not then you’re safe that round. The oldest can go first this time, spin the bottle to see who you ask but everyone who the question applies to has to answer after the first one answers. Got it? Great. Who’s the oldest?” Parkinson grumbled. Hermione got the feeling she was sick of having to do the rules.
“Normally that would be me.” Malfoy drawled.
“I think I might have you beat this time,” Katie interjected.
“By all means.” He told her, clearly bored and not caring what was going on with the game.
“Is there anything we aren’t allowed to ask? No? Ok.” She gave the bottle a good spin and after a few minutes, it stopped in front of Zabini. “Um... Oh, ok, got it. Never have I ever known more than one language.” Blaise looked unimpressed as he took a shot; Hermione, Seamus, Lisa, Malfoy, Astoria, and Luna following suit.
“Obviously I know English and Italian.” He grumbled.
“English, French, Italian, and Spanish,” Malfoy said.
“I know English, Gaeilge, Goblish, Pixie, Hobgoblish, Swahili, Igbo, Maori, and Nepali,” Luna told everyone.
“Impressive. Just English and French for me. And I’m learning Dutch.” Astoria replied.
“I know English, Greek, Dutch, French, and a bit of German.” Hermione shrugged.
“English and Gaeilge fahr me.” Seamus said. “Cén chaoi a bhfuil a fhios agat gaelic, Luna?”
“Ba í céad teanga mo mháthair í.” She told him. Everyone else looked lost but continued the circle anyway.
“At home we speak English and Korean, since my Mum’s from Busan,” Lisa told everyone. She reached down and spun the bottle around. “Neville, never have I ever broken a bone.” Neville turned completely red in humiliation as everyone else chuckled at the mention of his past incidents.
“That’s not very fair,” Ginny snickered. “Everyone knows Nev used to be accident-prone.”
“Used to be?” Zabini smirked. “Which bones have you broken anyway?”
“I’ve broken my arm a few times, when those doxies attacked I broke my tailbone. Um, I’ve hurt my leg a few times, and during the war, I broke my ankle.” He listed out, everyone cringed a little at the mention of the war.
“I’ve broken both my arms at different times during quidditch,” Katie remarked.
“Same.” Zabini and Malfoy told the group. “And I broke my nose in third year.” Malfoy continued, sending a glare at Hermione.
“I broke my ankle twice before Mum and Dad let me quit ballet,” Hermione said with a shudder, ignoring him. Godric, she’d hated dance class. She was rubbish at anything that required rhythm in the feet.
“You took ballet?” Parkinson asked her with actual intrigue for the first time that night.
“Yes, and I was completely awful at it. It was a disaster.”
“I’m not very good either.” The girl said in an attempt at relating. The two shared a smile.
“I’ve broken my nose and my arm. But all my bones disappeared so I don’t know if that counts...” Harry mused while the group chuckled.
“Wait, what?” Astoria questioned in shock.
“It was the year before you came to school. That twit Lockheart completely vanished all of the bones in his arm after he beat Malfoy to the snitch in quidditch.” Lisa told her former housemate. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny shared a look at the mention of Professor Lockheart and weren’t sure whether to smile or shudder at the memory of what had happened with him and the Chamber of Secrets.
“Alright, Granger. Here’s one I’ve wanted to know for a while, never have I ever had a crush on a teacher.” Zabini asked with a smirk.
“I thought you had a crush on Pince back in third and fourth year?” Malfoy questioned his friend.
“Yeah, but she ain’t a teacher now is she? Dolce cazzo, she was hot though.”
“I have had, yes,” Mione answered with a blush as she downed her shot, cringing at the taste.
“Woah, woah, woah, you have to tell us who,” Zabini smirked. Her cup started to burn at her lack of answer and she really hoped it wouldn’t leave an actual mark.
“Fine! I had a crush on Lockheart before I knew he was a complete imbecile, and I had a crush on Moo- er, Professor Lupin for a little while. Happy?” She grouched. Most of the group snickered, while Harry and Ron looked at her with a mix of shock and disgust.
“You had a crush on Professor Lupin?” Malfoy asked her seriously. “The werewolf?”
“What? He was sort of roguish. And he was completely fine ninety per cent of the month as long as he took his Wolfsbane.”
“Didn’t he attack you guys?” Parkinson asked the trio. “I thought that’s why they kicked him out of school.”
“He only attacked us because the Marauder’s-”
“Shh!” Harry and Hermione shouted at Ron.
“It’s a long story. But everything would have been fine if Peter Pettigrew hadn’t broken into the school.” Hermione told her.
“The rat? When did he break-in? I thought it was Sirius Black?” Malfoy asked.
“Sirius broke in to make sure Harry was safe from Pettigrew. He was the one who sold out his parents. Sirius was completely innocent the whole time, and the ministry wouldn’t listen to reason.” Hermione decreed angrily on Harry’s behalf. The room was silent for a minute.
“I had a crush on him too.” Dean shrugged. “Lupin I mean. Sirius never taught at school, but he was devilishly handsome too.”
“I had a crush on Vector for a little while,” Seamus said. “And Hooch.”
“I thought Snape was kind of cute,” Astoria mumbled embarrassed as most of the room groaned in disgust.
“Me too.” Ginny blurted out. “Why did I say that? No, I didn’t! I did, for most of first year through fourth. Why am I still talking?” The girl put her head into Hermione’s shoulder to try and shut herself up as the group laughed.
“It’s the Veritasdicite. You can’t stop yourself from speaking the truth.” Neville told her helpfully.
“Thanks, Neville! I didn’t know that!” She yelled sarcastically from her hiding place. Malfoy reached down with a smile still on his face as he spun the bottle around.
“Never have I ever flirted with a married person.” He smirked at Parkinson. She gasped in horror.
“You arse! You weren't supposed to bring that up! I didn’t know he was married, ok?” She sputtered.
“Wait, who did you flirt with?” Astoria asked, confused.
“Bill Weasley,” Parkinson said, blushing a deep red as she looked at her fiance and future sister in law.
“Ew, why would you flirt with him?” Ginny asked as she pulled herself upright again. “When did you flirt with him?”
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Ron mumbled in the background. Harry reached over and punched him in the arm.
“At graduation. I knew he was a Weasley, but I thought he was your cousin or something! He was hot and I have a thing for redheads ok?” She said before covering her mouth in horror. “I stopped and walked away when his super hot, blonde wife and their kid came over!” She added quickly.
“I’ve flirted with a ton of married people.” Zabini shrugged, unaffected by the drama.
“You flirt with anything that moves,” Astoria chided.
“I have flirted with a married person before, but I don’t know who he was. I only met him on the street. He didn’t put his ring back on until after we’d hooked up, forgot to ask him his name,” Luna provided.
“I flirted with Fleur for at least a year after she and Bill got married.” Ron supplied before turning red and attempting to cover his mouth.
“Why do you look so shocked at your own admission? We all knew that already.” Hermione reminded her old boyfriend.
“Yeah, that’s not really a secret Ron,” Ginny said as Luna reached for the firewhiskey. She filled her cup up once more, passed the bottle so others could as well and then spun the bottle on the floor.
“Never have I ever had a fantasy about my fiance,” Luna said to Malfoy.
“What? Luney, I thought you and Neville were already together once? Doesn’t that mean you’ve fantasized about him plenty?” Ginny asked her friend, slurring her words slightly.
“I’m only counting fantasies that never came true.” The blonde specified to the group, completely nonchalant as Neville shrunk down in his seat. Malfoy looked Hermione in the eye before taking a shot, maintaining eye contact and smirking as everyone started freaking out. Hermione averted her own eyes as she too took a shot. Pansy and Zabini snickered and Astoria smirked at the two.
“When and what?” Luna asked, unaffected by the chaos.
“I’d like to know the answer to that as well!” Ron shouted as Harry and Seamus tried to stop him from jumping Malfoy.
“During the yule ball, I thought Granger looked...pleasing. And during graduation, in the little red dress. I thought she looked sufficiently shaggable.” Malfoy answered slowly, almost trying to carefully word everything. “I wanted to take her back to a classroom and tie her up. Put that mouth to good use as well, for once.” Mione’s face heated up as people looked between her and a smirking Malfoy. Why are they looking at me like I’ve betrayed them? It’s not like that ever did or ever will happen! She thought.
“I really like that tight, dark-green suit Blaise wore to graduation. I could see him going down on me in that.” Ginny said as she downed an extra shot.
“Ginny!” Ron shouted, his skin pale at his little sister’s admission.
“What? He’s yummy.” She declared, too drunk to notice her own admission. Zabini certainly did though, if the way he was eyeing her was anything to go by.
“I think I really am gonna be sick,” Ron grumbled, looking green at the thought.
“I’ve had a couple of fantasies about Malfoy in his quidditch uniform. Especially after that game in fourth year, when Slytherin beat Ravenclaw. It was raining and your uniform was nearly skin tight. I could picture you and I having some... shall we say extracurricular fun in the locker room?” Hermione admitted.
“Can I get in on that? He looked fantastic in that quidditch uniform.” Dean admitted.
“Dean!” Seamus exclaimed, looking at his boyfriend in surprise.
“What? I’ve said that before, too you even!” He said with a dimpled smile.
“Yeah, boeht you dahn't 'ave to admit dat to everyahne! You're ahnly soehppahsed to admit if you 'ave any fantasies abooeht me.”
“But we’ve done all of my fantasies? Even the one with the cherry sauce and whipped crea-”
“Ahk! Who's next? Rahn mate, do you 'ave an admession to make?”
“Uh, no not really. I mean her breasts look particularly nice today, but I’ve never really thought about shagging her.” Ron admitted with a deep blush. Pansy looked intrigued and slightly ill as she looked down at her chest.
“You do have really nice boobs,” Ginny told her.
“Do we need to cut her off?” Harry asked Hermione.
“Yes!” Ron said, face still in his hands.
“She’s not wrong,” Katie admitted. “What are you a C? D?”
“A C. How do you even know that?” Pansy questioned the older girl, arms folded in front of her chest to hide it from the room.
“She’s really good at chest sizes. She’s a boob woman.” Lisa said proudly.
“Harry, did you take a shot or not?” Luna interrupted again.
“Uh, no. I didn’t.” He replied, looking at his fiance sitting next to him. “Sorry, I mean, you’re very pretty but I don’t really know you all that well.” He admitted.
“Don’t feel bad, Astoria.” Ginny slurred. “He’s on the ace spectrum. It took a while for him to be sexually attracted to me too. Like a few years.”
“Umm. I’m... not totally sure how to respond to that.” Astoria giggled before facing her fiance. “It’s ok. I did think you looked quite dashing during the Tri-Wizard Tournament though. He could whip me in his uniform for the maze task any day.” She said with a devilish smile on her face, unashamed as she spoke.
“Well, everyone already knows I have a thing for redheads. He could spank me in his quidditch uniform anytime he wanted to.” Pansy admitted before finishing off her drink and taking a long swig out of the bottle as well. “Someone else please go!”
“I’m good. Lise?”
“I want you to step on me in some heels. I thought we already talked about this last game?” Lisa said, smirking at her girlfriend.
“I think Red and I already did everything I fantasized about before she dropped me for golden boy over there,” Blaise told the group before snapping his mouth shut and staring at Ginny.
“I’m sorry, what!” Ron jumped up again. “What the hell is he talking about Gin?”
“He’s still mad that I wouldn’t leave with him during the war. I thought we were casually hooking up, ok? I didn’t realize you wanted an actual relationship with me or I would have told you no... at the time.” Ginny specified. “Aw, look how cute he is when he pouts! This is why he got into my pants so often while you guys were on the run.”
“Red, how drunk are you?” Blaise asked her, amused.
“I dunno. Drunk enough to do you. Even if we’re being dicks to each other right now. You’re mean. Just cause I acted like a teenager, while I was one.” Ginny grumbled.
“Gin, I think you should cut back on the drinking. You’re spilling your guts in front of Ron.” Hermione giggled.
“You knew about this?” Ron exploded.
“Duh!” The two friends told him, giggling even more.
“Ron, mate, girls tell each other everything.” Harry reasoned.
“You certainly seem okay with finding out she cheated on you! With a snake!” The redhead barked at his best friend.
“She said we were on the run. So we weren’t together at the time. And we’re all marrying Slytherins-”
“Not me.” Seamus and Katie said simultaneously.
“Most of us are marrying Slytherins anyway.” Harry amended.
“I’m gonna change the conversation now,” Neville announced, trying to defuse some of the tension. “Ms Parkinson, never have I ever... uh... gone streaking?” He finished uncertainly.
“Lame!” Seamus hollered as half the group took a shot. “I can answer fahr 'Arry, Katie, Dean, Rahn, and myself. It was early fooehrth year durin a game o' troehth ahr dare. Everyahne who wanted a free-be 'ad to streak and we all ded.”
“An angry witch disappeared with my clothes when I said the wrong name during sex. Had to run half a cazzo block to get back to the apparition point.” Blaise announced.
“Ginny, it's your turn.” Hermione nudged her friend.
“For what?” She mumbled, chewing on a piece of pizza. “Oh, right, the game. Lisa, never have I ever played strip poker.”
“I have not,” Lisa answered.
“I have. Many times. It’s quite fun.” Blaise smirked, looking at the questioning look on Dean and Neville’s faces. “What, my Mamma brings me to a lot of her fashion shoots. Models are always down for some kinky shit afterwards.”
“I have been party to a couple of these games. Very fun. Lots of breasts.” Malfoy hummed in agreement, clinking his cup with Blaise as they took a drink. The rest of the group looked at each other.
“No one else has? That’s just sad.” Blaise declared.
“I don’t suppose I can ask myself a question now can I.” Hermione mused, giggling at her lame attempt at a joke as she spun the bottle and it stopped in front of her. “Ok, redo! Seamus, you’re up! Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.” She smirked as he glared at her. He flipped her the bird and took a shot.
“What is it?” Parkinson leaned forward, intrigued.
“It's a dara knaht. Me Da 'ad one like it, so i gaht it to represent me moehggle 'alf.” He explained, pulling up his shirt to show where it rested on his ribs.
“Cool,” Astoria said, eyeing it curiously.
“I have a pentagram. It’s supposed to provide safety and show the cycle of life and nature. I suppose it’s similar to the way muggles view wind chimes as wards against evil. It’s a nice thought but it isn’t real. Anyway, I thought it was cute and the muggle tattooist seemed nice. Hardly any Wrackspurts around her, and no Nargles in the shop either. She let me check.” Luna provided when no one else spoke up. Hermione was surprised Luna would get a tattoo simply because the person doing it was nice, but then, she didn’t understand how Luna’s brain worked half the time anyway.
“Ok, Astoria,” Dean started. “Never have I ever questioned my house placement.”
“Why’d you ask her that?” Neville asked curiously.
“I dunno, her sister was a Slytherin, right? And most of her friends. Seems like a good question.” He shrugged. Hermione was surprised when half the group took a shot with her.
“I’m happy being a Ravenclaw, but I suppose I did question a few times why I didn’t get put in Slytherin with everyone else I knew.” Astoria shrugged.
“That stupid sorting hat thought about putting me in Hufflepuff,” Pansy grumbled angrily, obviously still bitter after eleven years. Hermione snickered at the sour expression on her face.
“It considered putting me in Gryffindor, but I’ve never questioned it after I got put in Slytherin,” Blaise told the shocked onlookers.
“I still to this day think I would have been a better Hufflepuff. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being in Gryffindor with all of you, but I always thought the hat made a mistake,” Neville said aloud.
“Nev, you took down a big ass snake. With a sword! I’m pretty sure you were in the right house.” Lisa told him.
“The hat wanted to put me in Slytherin,” Ginny added. The room went silent as everyone took in what she’d just announced.
“Yeah, I could see you in Slytherin,” Hermione told her friend.
“Yeah, you’ve got plenty of our traits,” Blaise smirked as Ron growled unintelligibly at him.
“It thought about Slytherin for me as well, though not nearly as long as it considered Ravenclaw,” Mione assured her friend. “Sometimes I wish I had been in Ravenclaw, maybe then I would have been able to study in peace.” She grumbled angrily, possibly more drunk than she had thought she was. “Instead of dealing with half-giants, and dementors, and unregistered animagi, and Fluffy.”
“What’s a fluffy?” Parkinson asked her.
“Oh, that was Hagrid’s cerberus in first year. Though he was easier to deal with than the giant killer chess pieces.”
“That big oaff had a bloody cerberus? And what the hell is a giant killer chess piece? What did you people get up to in that fucking house?” Malfoy demanded.
“Fluffy wasn’t as nice as Norberta. That was his baby dragon. Anyway, the giant chess pieces were McGonagall’s task to get to the Philosopher’s stone; a human sized version of Wizard's Chess. We had to do a bunch of stuff to keep Snape from getting it, only it wasn’t Snape. It was Voldemort attached to the back of Quirrel’s head.” Harry told them.
“What?” Astoria went pale at the name as the others flinched.
“Oh yeah, good old Tom. Ruining our school years since we were eleven.” Hermione remarked.
“That’s one of the reasons I wish the ratty old hat had put me in Hufflepuff like it had suggested. But I begged to be in Gryffindor with all of my brothers instead.” Ron told her, too sloshed to realize he’d said he begged to be with his family. Hermione and Ginny snickered at him.
“The hat almost put me in Slytherin. It was thanks to Malfoy I ended up in Gryffindor actually.” Harry mused.
“What? How did I do that?” Malfoy said, alarmed.
“You were being a smarmy brat, talking about knowing the wrong sort and whatever. I didn’t care what house I got put in, just didn’t want to be in the same one you were in.” Harry shrugged as the game continued.
“Zabini, never ‘ave I ever given a lap dance,” Seamus announced.
“Can’t say that I have, but I’ve gotten a couple,” Blaise replied.
“Am I really the only one who has?” Katie asked after downing her shot. “I got dared to give Anthony Hopkins one during one of Fred and George’s parties. I did pretty well too if his hard-on was any indication.” The girls giggled at her answer.
“Never have I ever had my Patronus change shape on me,” Ron smirked as he addressed his sister. Mione heard some of the Slytherin’s gasp as she and a couple of others took their shots.
“Wait, you can do a Patronus well enough that not only is it corporal, but it’s changed as well?” Astoria asked the redhead.
“Uh-huh. Used to be a bay mare. But when I tried again for those tests they had us do it was a cheetah.”
“No way! That is so freaking cool! Merlin, how did you learn to do that?” Parkinson enthused.
“Harry helped teach everyone during D.A. while Umbridge was around,” Hermione told her. “Mine used to be an otter.”
“What is it now?” Harry asked her, confused that any of them had changed at all.
“An arctic fox.”
“Does that mean you and Seamus are supposed to be together since his is a fox as well?” Dean snickered.
“Not a fox, an arctic fox! There’s a difference.” She grumbled in response.
“Funny, isn’t it? That only some of ours have changed. Mine is a great grey owl now. I miss my hare.” Luna remarked sadly.
“Does it count if it went from non-corporal to corporal?” Dean asked, his cup warm but not heating up, in uncertainty.
“Sure,” Ron told him as he took another swig of whiskey.
“Ok, well mine was non-corporal but it’s a thestral now,” Dean said uncomfortably.
“Wow. Um, I didn’t even know that was possible.” Harry said, scratching his neck.
“It can be anything,” Luna told them. “As long as it’s real it’s possible to have it as a Patronus. Neville’s is an Antipodean Opaleye.” The room was silent at her admission as Neville shrunk and squirmed in his seat.
“Like... a dragon?” Malfoy asked, doubtfully.
“You’re shittin’ us right?” Zabini added.
“No way! You have to show us!” Parkinson shouted. The room burst into agreement and Neville finally acquiesced. They started heading out to the back garden.
“Do you think you could teach me how to produce a Patronus?” Astoria asked Harry as they walked.
“Me too!” Pansy begged as she hung off of Astoria in excitement.
“Uh, sure,” Harry said, scratching the back of his neck. “Anyone else want to try?” He asked around. Blaise and Lisa agreed that they too would like to learn. Hermione noticed Malfoy trailing behind everyone and slowed her pace to try and match his.
“Did all of you really learn how to make Patronuses in fifth year?” The blond questioned his fiance.
“Well, technically we did. But Harry’s been able to cast his since third year. He saved himself and Sirius from dementors the night Professor Lupin lost control.” Hermione responded. “Can you cast one?” She asked in return. His silence was all the more answer she needed. “Maybe Harry can teach you too.”
“I don’t need St Potter to teach me anything. Would you speed up or something? Stop pestering me.” He ground out.
“Wow, ok. Really? I was trying to be nice, if you’re gonna be an arse about it I’ll just let you wallow on your own. You know, I thought tonight was going really well. Everyone seems to be getting along, how come you have to be so rude?” She stopped in front of him, poking him in the chest to emphasize her point.
“I didn’t want to come to this fucking party in the first place.”
“Obviously, if the way you’ve only barely participated was any indication. But you know, at least the rest of us are making an effort!”
“I don’t want to make an effort, I hate you. That’s never going to change. I don’t know what you think this is, but it’s a mandate. Nothing more. If you’re looking for civility, or friendship, or whatever, you won’t get it.”
“You know, I thought you might have matured since school. I guess I was wrong. But I’m telling you right now, I’d rather face Azkaban than deal with your bitching twenty-four seven. So if you’re going to be this arrogant and rude the whole time we’re stuck together, tell me now!”
“Fuck off.” He growled, shoving her out of the way.
“Fuck you!” She shouted after him from her spot on the floor.
“Are you okay?” A voice said from the doorway.
～Edited 19th Jan, 2022