The Calm Before
JJ lay flat on her bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, heart hammering against her ribs. Her room was dark except for the dim glow of her bedside lamp, the soft patter of rain against the window filling the silence. It had been hours since the kiss, but she couldn’t stop replaying it in her head.
She shouldn’t have done that.
She shouldn’t have kissed Emily.
She should feel guilty. She does feel guilty. She has a boyfriend. Will is perfect—the kind of boyfriend every girl dreams of. Sweet, dependable, safe. Any other girl would be lucky to have him.
And yet…
JJ squeezed her eyes shut, but it didn’t help. She could still taste Emily on her lips, still feel the heat of her breath, the way her fingers dug into her waist, pulling her closer. She could still hear the soft, breathy way Emily whispered her name—Jennifer—like it meant something.
God. This is so wrong.
So why had it felt so right?
JJ sat up abruptly, dragging a shaky hand through her hair, tugging at the strands in frustration. She needed to stop thinking about this. She needed to stop feeling this.
Her hand reached for her phone before she could think better of it. Her fingers hovered over Will’s contact, hesitating. She hadn’t texted him in hours.
She exhaled sharply, then forced herself to type out a message.
JJ: Hey babe, sorry for the late reply. I’ve been busy. How’s your day been?
The second she hit send, he started typing. Of course he did. He always answered quickly. That only made the guilt settle deeper in her chest.
Will: Hey, cher, it’s okay :) My day’s been fine, practice ran late. What about you? I miss you.
JJ stared at the screen, her stomach twisting.
Made out with Emily Prentiss in her car.
That’s what she should say. She should tell him. Should be honest.
But how could she?
Instead, her thumbs moved on autopilot.
JJ: I miss you too. Nothing much, just working on a project. Feeling a little tired now.
The lie felt heavy in her hands.
Will: Get some rest, you deserve it. I love you, cher.
Oh god.
Her throat tightened as she typed out the words.
JJ: I love you too. You think we could hang out tomorrow?
If she just saw him—if she kissed him, touched him, maybe whatever this thing with Emily was would go away. Maybe she could fix this before it spiraled into something she couldn’t control.
Will: Of course, babe. I’ll pick you up after practice :)
JJ let out a slow, shaky breath.
JJ: See you tomorrow then. Goodnight, babe. I love you.
Will: Goodnight. I love you too.
She turned off her phone and placed it face down on the nightstand, like that would somehow make the guilt disappear.
Rolling onto her side, she shut her eyes
.
But no matter how much she tried to push it away, she knew she wasn’t going to sleep tonight.
Not when her mind was still clouded by the ghost of Emily’s lips.
Back at home, Emily sat on her bedroom floor, her back pressed against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest. She still wore the same hoodie from earlier, the scent of rain and JJ’s perfume lingering in the fabric. Her fingers absentmindedly toyed with the hem of her sleeves, twisting and tugging as if that would somehow settle the restless energy buzzing beneath her skin.
Her heart was still racing, a frantic mix of excitement and fear.
Excitement, because JJ had kissed her.
Not just a kiss—JJ had grabbed her, had practically climbed into her lap, her hands greedy, her lips desperate. She hadn’t hesitated, hadn’t held back. JJ had wanted her. And Emily couldn’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if they hadn’t been interrupted. If that diner worker hadn’t shown up, if they had been given just a few more minutes. Would JJ have kept going? Would she have let Emily pull her even closer?
The thought sent a shiver down her spine.
But then there was the fear.
Because as soon as the moment ended, JJ couldn’t even look at her. She had bolted out of the car so fast, Emily barely had time to process it. No words, no acknowledgment, just silence.
JJ was going to pretend it never happened.
Yeah. Probably.
Because JJ was the golden girl—the one with the perfect life, the perfect grades, the perfect boyfriend.
Emily clenched her jaw, her grip tightening on her sleeve.
JJ had Will. And that’s what scared her the most. Not that JJ regretted it, not that she felt guilty, but that she’d convince herself it didn’t mean anything. That she’d bury it, lock it away, pretend it was just a mistake.
But Emily knew the truth.
You don’t accidentally make out with someone.
You don’t accidentally sneak a hand under their shirt.
You don’t accidentally whisper their name like it means something.
JJ could tell herself whatever she wanted, but Emily had felt it. The way she trembled under her touch, the way she had gasped against her lips, the way she had wanted more.
This wasn’t one-sided.
So why did it feel like Emily was already losing?
She exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair before reaching for her phone.
Should she text her?
Maybe a snarky comment? A joke? Something to break the silence, to force JJ to acknowledge what had happened.
Her thumb hovered over JJ’s contact.
But for the first time in a long time, Emily wasn’t sure what to say.
She wanted to act like it didn’t bother her. Like she didn’t care if JJ ignored it, if she ran right back into Will’s arms. But the truth was already gnawing at her.
She liked JJ.
She was sure of it now.
But she needed to know if JJ was sure, too.