Crashing Through
Amanda didn't sleep much that night.
When her alarm blared at six, she was already awake, staring at the cracks in her ceiling, feeling like someone had scooped her out and left only the skin behind.
She went through the motions of her morning routine—coffee, mascara, keys—but none of it felt real.
Nothing felt real except the heavy, thrumming ache under her ribs.
By the time she pulled into the school parking lot, her hands were trembling so badly she had to sit in the car for a full minute, gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white.
She couldn't do this.
She couldn't walk through another day pretending she wasn't coming apart at the seams.
Before she could lose her nerve, Amanda climbed out of the car, slammed the door harder than necessary, and marched across the lot.
She barely registered the halls she walked through, the greetings she mumbled, the familiar sounds of the morning shuffle.
She only knew that she needed to find Angela.
Now.
Angela was in her office, bent over her desk, sorting through paperwork.
Amanda didn’t knock.
She pushed the door open and stepped inside, heart hammering.
Angela looked up, startled. Her mouth opened, a greeting forming—then faltering at the sight of Amanda's face.
Amanda crossed the room in three quick strides and blurted out, "I filed for divorce."
Angela’s eyebrows shot up, her hands stilling on the papers.
Amanda pressed her hands to her chest, trying to keep herself together.
"I filed for divorce," she said again, voice cracking, "and I don't know what I'm doing, and I feel like I'm falling apart, and—"
The rest of the sentence dissolved into a sob.
Angela was out of her chair in an instant.
She crossed the room and pulled Amanda into her arms without hesitation, holding her so tightly Amanda thought she might finally stop shaking.
"Hey," Angela murmured, rubbing slow circles into Amanda's back. "You're not falling apart. You're doing the bravest thing you’ve ever done."
Amanda clung to her, the tears pouring out now, messy and hot and unstoppable.
"I was so scared," Amanda choked. "I didn't know if I could actually do it."
"You did," Angela said fiercely. "You did it. And you’re not alone. I'm here."
Amanda pulled back enough to look up at her, tears clinging to her lashes.
"I’m sorry," she whispered. "For… for everything. For pushing you away."
Angela shook her head. "None of that matters right now. You're here. You're trying. That's all I care about."
Amanda let out a broken laugh, wiping at her face.
Angela smiled at her, soft and steady. "One step at a time, okay? You don't have to do it all today."
Amanda nodded, her chest still aching, but a tiny spark of hope flickering to life beneath it.
"One step at a time," she echoed.
Angela squeezed her hand.
And for the first time in a long time, Amanda believed her.