I sat by the window staring endlessly into nowhere but the snow falling down on the green grass that is beginning to freeze and faded out its color.
The cold weather hugged me deadly inside the empty space, my used to be so warm apartment is now cold and feel deadly. The orange shade of light did nothing in projecting those feelings in me, my chest tighten in a painful level. The way my heart is beating slow is such a pain to my chest. My cold empty eyes flicker back and forth onto the small path towards the apartment gate.
I remember waiting for Momo by the window every night for her return, that woman always had to work overtime so she could save up for our vacation at the end of year. From January to December, her firm broad shoulders carried all the weight just so she could afford for our; my happiness. I remember to always leaned on her shoulder in every opportunities I got, the way her scent filled my lungs as well as her slow deep voice lulled me to sleep in winter cold night.
My shaky bloodshot eyes began to swell up again with tears building on every corner of my eyes, my heart pounded against my chest as if it wanna burst inside my chest.
If there is a chance..if there is a chance..I would love to hug her warm body again, no matter if we are girlfriends, friends or strangers. Just one minute..just one minute unnie.
2022; South Korea Seoul. December, 22.
I was rushing towards university with my bag's strap almost fell down from my shoulder and my piece of jam bread held tightly by my teeth. I was running late because of the movie marathon with Chaeyoung, I need to remind Jeongyeon not to get me inside that thing again. As I kept running and fixing my bag, my clumsy self forgot to look up on the way down the staircase of my rent house. That's when I collided into her walking by the road, I shoved her harshly down onto the floor with a loud thud. My shaky eyes closed tightly as I was afraid of being hurt but instead I was met with a soft body and a warmth from someone who was holding me tightly around my waist.
I looked up slowly to track her features, her honey color like skin just like a golden hour with her sexy lips and those tempting eyes stared back at mine. I kept looking at her nonstop but the realization of my university hit me. I hurried up to help her as well as apologized continuously for my stupid behavior but instead of scolding me and saying harsh things like elderly women do, she smiled and assured me instead. Her beautiful smile felt like a sun ray in this cold empty weather.
I was in lost.
"I'm okay, little one. Ahaha watch your way next time okay? You might ended up hurting yourself for running."
The first tears of tonight hit me like a thunder, it was painful as I am longing to hear those sweet like voice assure me again. For the first time ever, I understand what crushing felt like. I under what it is like to have a crush on someone who is as gentle as the running water, as cold and comforting as a cloud and as warm as the sunset.
I miss you..I miss you so much unnie..I am longing to feel your presence again in the cold weather. Your strong shoulders that felt like home as well as your beautiful eyes that felt like paradise.
If there is a chance..if there is a chance..I would love to be able to kiss you again just like the first time. I miss you every breathe I take, I miss you for every rhythm of my heartbeat.
2022
After our first encounter, I couldn't stop thinking about you and I wonder for every seconds as to who you are? Where do you live and how old are you or how are you doing. You started to occupied my mind until classes ended and you still running inside my head.
That night, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I want to see your face again even just for a minute. I woke up early the next morning but I stayed behind on the staircase just to see you walk pass again and I had achieved my goal. You walked by exactly the time I was rushing yesterday, you walk in with your neat button up shirt and a luxury smell. I could feel my cheeks redden up when you looked up to see me, your comforting gaze started into my eyes and it went straight to my heart.
How could a woman be this gorgeous, pretty, handsome and so luxurious at the same time?
You smiled at me again just like yesterday, you asked me if I was not rushing anymore and honestly it made me shy. We stood there to chat with each other. That time, I know you as the barista who works at a bar downtown. You and your friends shake hands to opened up a bar. You love and enjoy your job so much even though you can't sleep at night due to your job requirements, you still enjoy what you're doing.
I was hyped by you and your life. You seem so cool to me, do you know that?
"Oh Dahyun ah, my name is Hirai Momo."
Your name is Hirai Momo, you are the barista who works in the bar downtown. I was so fascinated by you and your charm. How could a woman be this perfect?
No one has come to your level of perfection, you dress well and you smells good. You know how to take care and you know how to coaxing. I miss your cooking, not only that you are good with doing drinks but you cook so well too. You know how to make cake and desserts. You love eating good foods, I remember watching you cook for New Year, you stood there tall with your apron tied up tightly around your firm body and you were so focused that you didn't pay attention to anything other than your job. I love how you take your works and activities seriously instead of being goofy like other people, your maturity really make me falling deeper and deeper for you each day and seconds.
2022
We chatted with each other every single morning and I had to write a letter to apologize for always coming to classes late. My stress level has increased and I think you noticed it too, I became foaming red when you suddenly asked me for my social media and told me to go to classes early and that we could talk on messages. I remember stalking your instagram to see every of your posts,my heart eyes got bigger every time I saw your serious photos and your level of maturity in social media unlike me who kept on spamming on my instagram stories telling people about every single things I touched and see.
You kept liking my posts and reply to me as early as you could even though you need a bigger rest from working. I kind felt guilty for bothering you so I forced myself not to spam you anymore. I remember being sad over you on a summer day, our texts became less and less and it was me who started to replied less. My heart hurts for feeling this way.
I was busy being sad over you then my phone rung up suddenly, you texted me a good morning and said you wanna go out with me to eat grill pork at the new opened restaurant. I was overjoyed and I don't know what to do, imagine a fine woman asking me to hang out. It was such a lovely night with you, you came to me with your black luxurious car. That's when I knew that you are too perfect.
We ate together and we laughed together like no one could ever before, I saw the sparkles in your eyes every time you see my face. I suddenly realized what it feel like to be loved and to be looked at. You were so good to me, unnie. You picked up the foods for me and you even cleaned my mess for me, you told me that I look cute and it feels so nice.
So so nice.
After we came out of the restaurant, there is a few silence. You looked kinda awkward for a minute and I'm kinda scared a little. You suddenly turned to face me fully and get on your knees in front of me.
Do you know how shock I was to see you confess to me like a Queen to a princess?
"Dahyun..I know it is fast but I can't stop thinking about you and I want to court you until you're willing to let me be your girlfriend..will you let me court you?"
My tears flowed stronger this time remembering our first night out together and my first time to have someone court me. You treated me like a princess, those princess treatment from you made me realized that all those boys from my school can't come close to this bare minimum. You set everything for me up so high, I just wonder why you left me all alone now?
Our last words was goodbye, you walked out of our apartment with your angry face. I had never seen you so angry at me before, you used to always be so calm and romantic. We fought with each other all evening because of the family issue. My parents don't like you and they begged me to get away from you everyday, they sent threats to you and you suddenly asked me;
"Would you choose your family or me?"
2023
The summer went by so fast and finally it was autumn, we finally have our official date as girlfriends. You and your friends decided to have a nice camping at the lake away from our busy city. You said you can't keep me alone and away from you so I agreed to join you and your friends, it was the best time ever. Me in your big bucket hat sat down in front of the fire while I was spectating you setting up our tents, you looked so serious while doing your works and the way your jaw and muscle flex every time gave me such a security feeling.
I never fail to catch you giving small glances at me every single time you looked up, your dreamy smile directed at me every time too had my heart almost scream out of my body. Your wolf cut short hair slice back with your rosy lips adorned with your beautiful smooth skin.
How am I so lucky?
I can still feel you laughing with your friends while you have your hands wrapped around my small body to protect me from any harm that could never happen when I'm with you. You fed me the good part of the foods while you yourself ate the burned one when I know you are a person who has discipline and won't do any of that but you still did it for me.
My heart feel warmth.
My sore eyes with the burning blurry tears blocking my vision from seeing anything other than the unfaded memories of us. We had a lot of things, a lot of memories together that is hard to erase it. Your strong arms around me carrying me to bed every night as well as fed me whenever I feel lazy. You were so good to me. I still can taste the arguments on the tip of my tongue, that night that we yelled and refuse to give up fighting.
2024
We were laughing in the kitchen because you kept saying the silly things to cheer me up from my toxic family problems. You said that you will bake me some cookies to eat and then we can watch my favorite show together. Your gentle smile plastered on your lips while you were listening to me doing my daily yappy yappy routine. You said that you love it when I talk and that you would never be bored of my voice. I felt so alive after being dead in a storm, you lift my mood up like no one could. While we were bickering our which drink we should have, you suddenly kiss me on my lips to shut me up and it made me shy and wanna burst. Your sweet kiss that warm me up better than a cup of chocolate ever could, your taste, your smell still lingered on my shirt even in the morning. We spend our night making love to each other sweetly, the beautiful moan and gasp which used to make me grossed out suddenly became so sweet inside my ears.
I woke up to your small kisses on my skin in the morning, your hoarse voice told me how good I smell and how well I did for you last night. It all felt like the love story that I always dream upon.
"I could never get tired of you my love, everything about you is perfect. Every pieces of you made just for me."
I shut my eyes tighten trying to not break out at any moment, my tired mind still wandering endlessly in the abyss which contain of you. Our love ended before I could even finish wiring a book about it. It broke my heart so badly. You and your charming face, it's still in the back of my mind.
That night, i was curling in a crying mess watching you wearing your trench coat in the snowy night. You had tears on your face and it's so different from the usual you, you never show such a sorrow expression before. You never frown so hard at me like that night. My heart squeezed painfully and it felt hard to breathe. Everything is hard to do without you by my side. My tears flow like a waterfall whenever I'm alone, you occupied my mind my love.
You walked out of our apartment door leaving our apartment so cold and so empty without you. When you walked out that door, my lamp fell down and it felt cold. Everything is not the same anymore.
Like a flower losing its purpose in life, my world ended.
We reported to have a victim of a car accident because of the slippery road. The victim seems to be unconscious, the ambulance was able to reach the destination on time but the scene felt so surreal that no one would believe how the victim made it out. The car exploded the minute, the victim was able to free herself out, we are waiting for the upcoming updates from the hospital.
From our DCC news, and your personal reporter; Joo Soohun.