Infinity Times Infinity

Severus felt as if his arms had been tied behind his back… forcefully because how else could they be? 

He continued to grumble to himself, hating every second he wasted having to go and give Remus-fucking-Lupin his wolfsbane potion. It was bad enough he had to make sure Potter wasn’t off getting himself killed every school year that on top of that he also had to babysit a werewolf… another one at that. But you were tolerable… just barely. 

The soft, cooling mist rolling out of the goblet managed to calm him. It was one of his favorite things about this potion apart from its beautiful color and tranquil agents. Merlin knew he was going to need more of those now that there were two wolves in Hogwarts. He sighed, collecting himself once he was at a nicely polished, dark-stained door. It was still difficult, even after all these years. He could feel his scars begin to flare from the stress of having to come face to face with the wolf… alone. 

He knocked on the door, a faint ‘come in’ trailed from inside. The door unlocked and creaked open, allowing Severus entry inside the particularly homey Defense Against the Dark Arts room. 

He looked around, the room empty and devoid of the annoyingly chipper wolf. He wasn’t particularly keen on snooping around the classroom, so he remained fixed by the entrance and glanced around the walls. Paintings and diagrams of dark creatures moved around the frames

There was a short bookshelf just behind his desk, filled with creased and worn books that had a personal touch in organization (that he dared not ever have). He gave one final look and realized that the room was near bare. Compared to Lockhart’s where on every wall, a painting of his was mounted. 

That deplorable dragon skeleton was still hung — 

While Severus criticized the few items left in the room, who else but Lupin walked out of a closet space on the other side of the room, wiping sweat from his brow as he closed the door. There were many things he hated about Remus Lupin. One of them being how he still managed to look so cheery, even with all the tiring lines stressing his face. 

“Ah, Severus, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He said in an oddly endearing tone, one that Severus was slowly growing annoyed of. 

He merely rose the goblet he held before placing it on the desk. Lupin stared at it, as if confused about what it was, before glancing up at him expectantly like a confused puppy. 

“Ah, right. It’s a week from now is it?” Lupin walked over to the desk, taking a seat on his chair before taking a sip from the cup. A smirk grew on Severus’ face once he saw him nearly spit out the potion. 

“Merlin, why does this taste — did you make this bitter?” Lupin put the goblet down, coughing in disgust as he stared at the potions master. 

Severus didn’t back down. “No. It’s naturally bitter because of the ingredients. It must have slipped my mind to warn you about that… whoops.”

Lupin held back the urge to roll his eyes and instead gave Severus a curt smile before having another go at the potion. It was no better than the first time. 

When he realized that Severus was still standing in front of him, piercing black eyes staring down at him, Remus raised an eyebrow. 

“Umm, Severus is there a reason why you’re still here?”

“I’m just making sure you drink every last drop,” he said, not missing how Lupin’s eyes looked downcast. How the fuck did a grown man manage to look every part of a kicked puppy? Well, he is part wolf.  

Lupin sighed. “Well, I don’t want to take away much of your time,” he said before chugging the last remnants. He stuck his tongue out in disgust as he placed the goblet down and went to find something in his desk drawers. Maybe he had a snack somewhere there that would help to get rid of the taste. He was oblivious to the look on Severus’ face, the sheer horror, at which he saw Lupin throw back the majority of the concoction as if it were water.  

He grabbed the empty goblet and inspected it just to make sure Lupin hadn’t somehow damaged it or left some of the potion in it. When he was satisfied with its conditions, he nodded to himself then began to make his way out. 

Lupin popped up from beneath his desk, wrapped treat in hand. He knew Severus would not be friendly, even as coworkers, that knowledge didn’t surprise him, but it hurt nonetheless. “Goodnight, Severus.”

He didn’t even bother with responding, a short nod was enough. But of course, the worse he thought could happen was happening right now as he walked away. He supposed he hadn’t made himself curt enough. 

“Severus,” Lupin began. “About what happened back then—”

He stopped and looked over his shoulder, his eyes not meeting those of the wolf’s. “Don’t.”

“But Severus—”

Severus’ robe swooped from beneath him as he quickly turned to face the tattered professor. He couldn’t help the already growing sneer on his face and the bewildered look in his eyes turned into anger. It wasn’t until he managed to really see the wolf’s eyes that he noticed how gloomy they looked and Severus somehow found it in himself to hate the man — wolf — even more. He knew that look, the look of pitiful shame. 

It disgusted him. 

“We will not discuss anything. I will only come here to make sure you drink your potion and that is it. No talking, no chit-chatting, zilch, you’ve got that? Or are your giant ears perhaps not as helpful as they are in human form?”

It seemed like he wanted to say something else, his mouth already parted in retaliation, but he closed it and instead remained quiet (a smart move on his end, really). Lupin just stared at him; his mellow amber eyes reflecting the warmth of the fireplace just beside them and suddenly Severus had grown even more irate at how unfazed the wolf’s composure remained. 

“Loud and clear, Severus.”

And with that, he was out the door. 

– – – – – 

The rest of September flew by without incident. October came and left just as quickly too. Two months had gone and you were dreading for time to slip by. The closer you got to June, the more you’d stress over the fact that O.W.Ls were creeping closer and closer. Homework wasn’t too bad… for now, but put that with all of the practice Flint’s been assigning and there was the source of all your exhaustion. It was his last year and he wanted to make sure he could rub the victory in Wood’s face one last time before they graduated. 

The seat beside you in Charms remained empty. The twins were as troublesome as ever in Potions and in Herbology. Sadly, you didn’t share too many classes with them. On the bright side, it was probably for the best seeing at how little they would’ve let you pay attention in class. 

The first Hogsmeade trip was today, on Halloween. 

It had gone well, surprisingly, seeing as your symptoms had been flaring up lately. But the day out went well regardless. The boys restocked their supplies (even though it had only been two months into the school year), you bought yourself a new quill (since you snapped the last one in half), and had some festive drinks with the group. Late October trips spent there were second best to the ones in December where the snow coated the entire village in a wonderful and wistful mirage. You were looking forward to that visit already. 

You were a bit saddened to see your father stay behind in the castle. Last night’s transformation had gotten the worse of him, but he promised you that he’d try his best to be there for the winter trip. You yourself weren’t really feeling up to the occasion, wanting to stay back in the castle too, but Solaris was so excited to get her mind off of O.W.Ls that she implored you to join her… and you couldn’t really say no. 

Reflecting on the day you had today, you realized that you were drained, so the moment you stepped inside the Slytherin common room, you booked it to your dorm, only sparing a few words to the two Slytherins. 

“I think I’ll take a nap,” you stifled a yawned. “I’ll see you at the feast.” 

– – – – – 

Next thing you knew, you were startled awake by Solaris. 

“Y/N, wake up. We have to go.” 

You mumbled tirelessly, still dazed by sleep. “Waazit?”

Solaris shook you a bit more by the shoulders, her voice dripping with impatience. “I’m not kidding, all students have to go to the Great Hall.”

The unsettled panic in her voice snapped you awake. 

“Relax, we’re not in any danger… at least I don’t think we are,” she said, her voice uncertain as she stood up to grab her cloak. 

Before you stepped out, you tapped Ahira’s head and asked whether she wanted to stay or join you out in the hall. She shook her head and unwrapped herself from your arm. You assumed she was still unsettled at the thought of being around so many students, especially during a security sweep. 

You understood and placed the blanket back over her as you slid out of the warm confines of your bed. You quickly slipped on your slippers (too tired to put on your shoes) and slipped on a long, knitted sweater before following Solaris out of your dorm. Most students were already in the common room by the time the two of you got there seeing as it was only a short while after the feast. Adrian found the two of you not too long after and gave the two of you a questioning look hoping to find answers; you didn’t have any. 

Snape appeared a few minutes later and escorted the entirety of Slytherin up to the Great Hall. Everyone was pouring in from all places of the castle, all except the Gryffindors who were already inside and looking more than disturbed. It didn’t take long for whispers to surface about the reasons of why you were all there: Sirius Black. It was assumed that he attempted to enter the Gryffindor common room, for what reason? Well, that was the odd thing. 

A comforting presence quickly made itself known over all the rest. The smell of tea leaves and overly creased books made you quickly turn around and look for your dad. He was making his way over, his warm honey eyes wandering through the Slytherin crowd until they met yours. 

He held your shoulder softly and pulled you in to plant a kiss on the crown of your head. “Y/N, you’re okay.” 

“Is it true? He’s really here?”

Suddenly, your dad wasn’t looking eye to eye with you. His gaze drifted slightly above yours, resting somewhere (what you can only assume was) on an old scar. The two of you looked away when Dumbledore explained that all professors were to patrol the grounds in search of Sirius Black. Prefects, Head Boys, and Girls were to stay at the entrances of the Great Hall and immediately call for a professor if they suspected anything. 

“I have to go, but don’t worry. We’re all doing our absolute best to keep you children safe.”

You didn’t say anything as you watched him walk away. Instead, you stared at his shrinking figure as he walked out of the hall until he disappeared. You turned to face your friends who gave you a reassuring smile. 

The buzzing within the Great Hall slowly dissipated as students began to grab sleeping bags and group up with their housemates and or friends. You picked up three of the purple sleeping bags, one for yourself, one for Solaris, and another for Adrian while he searched for a relatively secluded spot. After finding one close to your own house, you began to unroll the purple bag when you felt three familiar presences. 

“Hope there’s space for three more,” said a voice. 

Sporting matching purple sleeping bags, Lee, Fred, and George had walked over from the Gryffindor end to join your group. From the corner of your eye, you saw Solaris roll her eyes and immediately set her bag next to yours, sandwiching herself between your spot and Adrian’s. 

“There is,” she said, her nose a little stuck up. “But you’re not taking my best friend tonight.” 

“Weren’t planning to,” teased Fred. Lee shook his head playfully, and instead, greeted Adrian as he took a spot next to him. The two instantly began to have their own chat about a muggle show they watched over the summer. 

It was entertaining to watch your friends’ rivalry, the petty remarks they’d throw at each other through the corridors and the overall competitiveness they’d express was always kept to a healthy amount. However, it was late and everyone was tired after a day in Hogsmeade and a filling Hallow’s Eve feast. A tug from your sleeve signalled you of Solaris’ drowsiness, so you followed her to your spots and got in. As you zipped yourself up in your bag, you realized the boys were still fussing over something a few feet away. 

“You boys going to sleep or fuss like kittens?” You quipped, catching their attention. Honestly, some lions Gryffindors were, you thought hilariously. 

“Brother of mine, guess we’ll have to —“ But while Fred was busy talking, George set his bag down next to yours and laid in it. He had a victorious smirk on his face as he watched Fred bite his tongue. 

“Afraid you were a little slow there, brother of mine.”

Fred rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” Then threw his bag perpendicular to George’s so he could still lay next to all of you. 

From beside you, Solaris whispered into your ear. “And they say we’re dramatic.”

“We heard that,” the twins echoed. 

“Good, maybe you can hear this too – go to sleep.” 

Before they could quip at each other any more, you quickly stepped in. “Goodnight, everyone.”

“Goodnight,” replied the group of Slytherins and Gryffindors.   

– – – – – 

It was perhaps three in the morning (your inner clock worked wonders) and you hadn’t gotten an ounce of sleep. Or perhaps you had drifted off, but it surely hadn’t felt like it as your attention was captured by echoing footsteps.

The soft patter of feet inched closer, stopping just a few feet away from you. You didn’t have to look, the scents enough let you identify who they were, but you did anyway because you were sure you wouldn’t get caught regardless. 

The silhouettes of Snape and Dumbledore stood beside each other. The search had come up empty; Sirius Black was nowhere to be found and assumed to no longer be in the castle. Snape seemed insistent that someone from inside was aiding Black on his excursions within the castle’s corridors. Dumbledore thought otherwise. Sure enough, your own mind began to wonder, it took a fool to not know who Snape was referring to and the idea of who did not sit well with you.

Did Snape really suspect your dad? 

It was true, your father had once been friends with Black. There was a photo that shined helplessly on a shelf, one that surprisingly was not caked in dust and displayed your father with others you had grown to remember as shadows of one’s past. It was a wedding photo, one where a beautiful redhead in a long white wedding gown sat alongside someone who looked surprisingly like Harry only much older and without glasses. Your father sat on the redhead’s side, his hair neatly combed and eyes shinning playfully as he watched someone on the groom’s side, another man with styled dark hair and radiant grey eyes which shined like spontaneous beams of light; a man that would later become the shell of who he was. Thinking about it now, the severity of it all made you shiver. 

You were drawn back to reality when Dumbledore decided to end their conversation there and walked away, leaving Snape to stand just a moment’s difference to stare pointedly at the older man before following him out. Just as he did, someone from beside you shifted in their sleeping bag, reminding you that you were not alone after listening in on the heavy conversation. George’s bright red hair sprung out from between the sleeping bag’s opening, the top part of his face poking out just enough for you to distinguish his colored nose. 

“Can’t sleep?” He whispered. 

“No,” you whispered back. “I assume you heard their conversation?”

He hummed delightfully. “You assumed correctly.” 

Unexpectedly, he shimmied closer; finding it a bit hard to do so with the bag, but managing to get close enough to where the seams of your bag and his touched. It was a hilarious scene, watching George inch his way over like a worm. The two of you stifled a quiet laugh. 

“Scared?” He asked you.

You almost scoffed. “As if, at least it’s not my dorm Black tried to get into.”

George conceded. “Then?”

You wished you had an answer to give him. In reality, the last of the full moon’s rays were having some odd effect on you, leaving you a bit dazed and on edge. Or maybe it was just anxiety causing you to lose sleep. Regardless, he didn’t need to know any of that, so you stayed quiet, hoping he wouldn’t pry. 

Without another word, he poked his hand out, pinky extended just enough for you to loop yours around. You stared at it questioningly, but giggled softly, finding the entire exchange comforting. Slowly, you stuck your own hand out, fingers brushing his as your wrapped your pinky around his, finding solace in the action. 

“Goodnight, Lupin.”

A stupidly sleepy smile made its way onto your face. “Goodnight, Weasley.”