Chapter 1
Alicent wasn’t entirely sure how she ended up here. The night was a blur—shots lined up across a sticky bar top, the dizzying rush of music pulsing in her ears.
Now, her back hit the cool sheets of his bed, and her body swayed with the drunken haze clouding her thoughts. Her fingers gripped his shoulder weakly. She blinked up at him, her heart aching, not from him, but from the weight of Rhaenyra’s absence.
“This means nothing,” she whispered, her voice barely steady. Her chest tightened even as she said it, because deep down, she wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince—Daemon or herself. “And Rhaenyra... she can’t—”
“She won’t know,” Daemon interrupted gently, his tone devoid of judgment. “I’m not about to run my mouth, Alicent. I’m not that much of an ass.” He tilted his head, studying her. “This isn’t about her. This is about you.”
She looked away, biting her lip hard enough to sting. But the pain didn’t dull the ache in her chest, the hollow, jagged wound Rhaenyra had left behind. She couldn’t unsee it—couldn’t unhear the rumors of her alpha taking someone else to bed so soon after they ended. The image twisted in her mind like a knife, and every sharp edge pushed her closer to where she was now, in Daemon’s bed, desperately trying to feel something, anything, other than this unbearable heartbreak.
Daemon’s hands moved slowly, carefully, as if testing her boundaries. He wasn’t pushing her, wasn’t forcing anything she didn’t want. He was just… there, steady, warm, and patient. “You don’t have to do this,” he murmured, his voice softer now. “But if you want to forget for a while, I can help.”
Alicent’s throat tightened, her breath catching as she looked at him. She hated how kind his voice sounded, hated that it made her feel both comforted and exposed. “I don’t want to think about her,” she said finally, her words cracking under the weight of her emotion. “I just… I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
Daemon nodded, his gaze steady and without pity. “Then let me help,” he said simply, his hands tracing gentle, deliberate paths along her sides. He was careful, almost too careful, as if he knew how fragile she was beneath the surface.
She didn’t push him away this time. Instead, she let her body relax into the sensation, her mind still clouded with alcohol and heartbreak. Daemon shifted closer, his lips brushing along her jaw, his touch deliberate but not demanding. His movements were slow, calculated, as if he knew she needed time to quiet the storm raging inside her.
“You’re way too wound up,” he murmured, his voice low against her ear.
Alicent’s head swam as she lay back against the sheets, the room tilting slightly with the weight of the alcohol coursing through her system. The bed felt too soft, too unfamiliar, but Daemon was there—solid, grounded, a steady weight above her as his lips brushed along her neck. Her hands fluttered against his chest, not quite pushing him away but not pulling him closer either.
She felt his breath against her collarbone, warm and steady, but her mind was elsewhere, stuck in an endless loop of images she wished she could erase. Rhaenyra’s hands on someone else, her lips brushing another omega’s skin, the way she might have whispered to them the same words she’d once spoken to Alicent. It was all too vivid, too raw, and it made her chest ache even as her body betrayed her, responding faintly to Daemon’s touch.
“This is a mistake,” she murmured, her voice barely audible, shaky with uncertainty. Her fingers tightened briefly on Daemon’s shirt.
Her head tipped back against the pillow as she tried to focus, to push away the storm of emotions clouding her mind. But every time she closed her eyes, she saw Rhaenyra—her golden hair spilling over her shoulders, her sharp grin, the way her hands gripped Alicent’s waist as if she couldn’t bear to let go. Except now those hands were on someone else, and Alicent couldn’t stop imagining it, couldn’t stop picturing the way Rhaenyra’s body would move, the way she would kiss them.
Her stomach twisted, and she blinked up at Daemon, who was watching her with a quiet patience that somehow made her feel even more unsteady. “Fuck Daemon…this doesn’t mean anything,” she said again, the words tumbling out in a rush, as if saying them enough times might make them true.
Daemon’s lips quirked in a faint smile, but he didn’t argue. “It doesn’t have to,” he said, his hands tracing slow, deliberate lines along her sides. He wasn’t rough or insistent; he was just… present, letting her guide the pace, waiting for her to decide.
Alicent’s breath hitched as his fingers brushed against the sensitive skin just above her hip. She squirmed slightly, her body reacting in ways she couldn’t quite control, even as her mind screamed at her to stop. “I shouldn’t—” she started again, but the words caught in her throat, her chest tightening with frustration and grief.
“Stop me if you want to, Ali,” Daemon said softly, his tone almost teasing but not unkind. He leaned closer, his lips brushing her ear. “And I’m really not trying to be an ass here but you want this. Not me, but this.”
Her cheeks burned, and she bit her lip, her hands curling into fists against the sheets. He wasn’t wrong. She didn’t want him —not really. But the warmth of his skin, the steadiness of his touch, the way he made her feel seen in this moment—it was enough to quiet the ache, if only for a little while.
Her mind spun as he moved lower, his lips trailing down her neck with a deliberate slowness that made her shiver despite herself. She tried to focus on the sensations, tried to lose herself in the warmth of his body against hers, but the images of Rhaenyra kept creeping back in. She saw her alpha with Margaery. She saw the way Rhaenyra would touch her, kiss her, claim her. It was unbearable, and yet she couldn’t stop imagining it, couldn’t stop comparing.
Daemon’s hands slid under the hem of her shirt, his touch warm against her skin, and Alicent gasped, her back arching slightly. She hated how easily her body responded, hated the way her mind warred with itself every step of the way. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be doing this. But she didn’t stop him.
“Rhaenyra wouldn’t—” she started to say, but her voice broke, and she swallowed hard, her chest tightening.
Daemon stilled for a moment, his gaze sharp as he looked down at her. “You think she’s losing sleep over this?” he asked, his tone softer than his words. “She’s already moved on. Maybe you should, too.”
The words hit like a slap, and Alicent’s breath caught in her throat. She turned her head away, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. She hated that he was right. Hated that he could see through her so easily.
When he leaned down again, his lips brushing hers, she didn’t pull away. She let herself sink into the kiss, her hands sliding up to grip his shoulders as she tried to lose herself in the moment. It wasn’t Rhaenyra. It would never be Rhaenyra. But for now, it was enough to make her forget.
He kissed her neck, his movements unhurried and deliberate, and though her skin prickled with sensitivity, she barely reacted.
“You’re so quiet,” Daemon murmured, his lips brushing against her ear. His voice was smooth, light, almost coaxing. “You’re allowed to enjoy this, you know.”
She swallowed hard, her throat dry. Enjoy it. The thought felt foreign, almost laughable. How could she, when every part of her felt so tangled up in regret and bitterness? When the phantom image of Rhaenyra loomed so large, filling every corner of her mind?
His lips moved lower, brushing over her collarbone, and her skin responded before her mind could catch up. Goosebumps rose where his mouth lingered, and a faint shiver ran through her, though she refused to acknowledge it. Her body was betraying her, reacting to his coaxing despite the knot of hesitance and guilt lodged in her chest.
“You don’t have to think so much,” Daemon said softly, his voice low and almost teasing. His hands moved to her waist, his thumbs brushing over her skin in slow, deliberate circles. “Just feel.”
Feel. That was the problem. She didn’t want to feel, didn’t want to let herself sink into this moment because it felt like a betrayal. Not to Daemon, but to herself, to the memory of Rhaenyra that clung so tightly to her.
But as his lips trailed lower, and his hands moved with a calculated gentleness, she felt her resolve begin to fray. Her breathing hitched, her chest rising and falling unevenly as her body began to respond in ways she couldn’t control. A faint warmth spread through her, growing stronger with each careful touch, and though her mind screamed at her to stop, she couldn’t quite bring herself to pull away.
Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, her fists tightening in the sheets. She felt Daemon’s lips press against the sensitive skin just below her jaw, and a quiet gasp escaped her before she could stop it. He noticed, of course. He always noticed.
“There it is,” he murmured, his tone light but steady. “You’re starting to relax.”
Daemon didn’t press her, didn’t rush. He took his time, his movements slow and deliberate as he coaxed her body into reacting, little by little. Her breath grew heavier, her heart pounding in her chest, and though she still felt the weight of her hesitation, the warmth spreading through her was undeniable.
A soft sound escaped her, unbidden, and she hated how quickly Daemon picked up on it, how his movements shifted ever so slightly in response. He didn’t say anything this time, just continued his steady, unrelenting pace, his touch growing firmer, more certain.
Each step of the way, she told herself it didn’t mean anything. That this wasn’t about Daemon, or even about her. It was about forgetting, about quieting the ache that Rhaenyra had left behind. And as Daemon leaned down, his lips brushing hers in a way that made her stomach flutter, she let herself pretend—just for a moment—that it was enough.
Daemon hovered above her, his movements deliberate, his hands warm and firm as they slid along her thighs, coaxing her legs apart with a confidence that sent a shiver down her spine. Alicent barely reacted at first, her gaze still locked on the ceiling, her breathing shallow as she tried to stay detached. But the weight of him pressed into her, grounding her, making it impossible to ignore the reality of what was happening.
His hands traced her skin, slow and steady, as if trying to draw something out of her. She stiffened when his lips brushed against her neck, his teeth grazing lightly, and her fingers gripped the sheets tightly. Daemon noticed, of course—he noticed everything.
“Ali, are you sure you want this? You’re still so tense,” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly. There was no mockery in it, just a quiet coaxing. “You’re allowed to let go. No one’s judging you.”
“Keep going,” she whispered softly and Daemon let out a soft chuckle, his hands gripping her hips as he leaned down to press his lips against her collarbone.
Alicent’s breath hitched as he pushed forward, the pressure building slowly, deliberately. Her body resisted at first, her muscles tight with hesitation, but Daemon didn’t rush. He moved with a patience she didn’t expect, his hands steadying her, grounding her as he eased her into it. She let out a shaky exhale, her fingers digging into his arms as her body slowly began to adjust.
“There you go,” Daemon murmured, his voice soft and low. “Just like that.”
Her cheeks burned, the intimacy of his words making her stomach twist. She didn’t want to feel this—didn’t want to acknowledge the way her body was slowly betraying her, responding to his touch despite the turmoil in her mind. But as he moved deeper, the pressure turning to something warmer, more intense, she couldn’t stop the faint gasp that escaped her lips.
Daemon’s gaze flicked to her face, and for a moment, his usual smirk faded. His expression softened, his movements slowing as if to give her time to process. “You okay?” he asked, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. Alicent nodded and bit her lip to stop the moan from escaping.
Daemon’s rhythm shifted, his movements becoming more deliberate, more intense. His breath was hot against her skin, and she could feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles flexed as he held himself above her. He was getting lost in it now, his usual air of detachment replaced by something rawer, more visceral.
And somehow, that intensity bled into her. She felt it in the way his grip on her hips tightened, in the way his breath quickened, in the way his body moved with a purpose that left no room for hesitation. Her own breathing grew heavier, her heart pounding in her chest as the sensations overwhelmed her.
She didn’t mean to react—didn’t mean to let herself feel it—but her body betrayed her, a soft sound escaping her lips as his movements pressed her deeper into the mattress. Daemon caught it immediately, his gaze snapping to hers, and for a moment, there was something almost vulnerable in his expression.
“There you go, good,” he murmured, his voice rough but not smug. His hand slid up to cradle her jaw, his thumb brushing lightly against her cheek. “Feels good, doesn’t it?"
Daemon’s movements grew more insistent, his grip on her tightening as he lost himself in the moment. And despite herself, Alicent felt something shift within her. The sharp edges of her guilt and anger began to blur, softened by the warmth spreading through her, the undeniable pull of pleasure that she couldn’t fight anymore.
She wasn’t thinking about Rhaenyra now—not entirely. For the first time in what felt like forever, she wasn’t consumed by the ache of her absence. Instead, she was here, in this moment, with Daemon’s body pressed against hers, his hands anchoring her as she let herself feel, let herself fall.
And though the guilt lingered at the edges of her mind, it was quiet now, drowned out by the intensity of his touch and the raw, unrelenting connection that neither of them could deny.
Her cheeks burned, shame pooling in her chest as her body arched against him, her movements completely out of her control now. "I-I..." she stammered, but the words tangled on her tongue, her mind too clouded by the sheer intensity coursing through her. She wanted to deny it, wanted to push him away, but the growing warmth inside her made it impossible to lie, even to herself.
"You don’t have to say it," Daemon said, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he moved faster, deeper, pulling reactions from her that she hadn’t thought possible. His grin was faint but genuine, his expression softening as her body began to melt into his touch. "Your body’s saying enough."
Alicent bit her lip hard, trying to stifle the sounds threatening to spill from her throat, but each movement sent another jolt of pleasure coursing through her, her breathing growing louder, heavier. The intensity of it all shocked her, left her dizzy and unsteady, and she hated how good it felt. Hated how easily he was breaking down her defenses, how her body was betraying her at every turn.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her head tipping back as her body reacted to his every word, his every movement. She buried her face in his shoulder, her nails digging deeper into his skin as the pressure inside her built, threatening to spill over.
"That's it," Daemon said, his voice softer now, almost encouraging. "You’re doing so good. Just let go."
His words sent a shiver down her spine, and despite her shame, she couldn’t stop herself from giving in. Her body arched against his, her breath hitching sharply as the pleasure finally overtook her, drowning out the guilt and hesitation that had been clawing at her. For the first time, she wasn’t thinking about Rhaenyra or what this meant or how it would hurt later. She was just feeling , and as Daemon's movements became more frenzied, she clung to him like he was the only thing keeping her from falling apart entirely.
The moment stretched on, intense and unrelenting, until the world around her seemed to dissolve into nothing but heat and sensation. And when it was over, when her body finally stilled and her breathing slowed, she didn’t move, didn’t pull away. She lay there, her cheek pressed against Daemon’s shoulder, her mind blank and her body trembling, unsure of what to feel or what to say.
Daemon shifted slightly, his hand brushing her hair back from her damp forehead as he looked down at her.
Alicent lips pressed into a thin line as the embarrassment flooded back in, heavier now that the haze of pleasure had begun to fade. She turned her face away, biting her lip as she stared at the wall, the weight of what had just happened pressing down on her chest.
But Daemon didn’t seem fazed. He lay back beside her, his hand lingering on her hip as if to remind her he was still there, still steady, even as her mind began to spiral. "You don’t have to say anything," he murmured, his tone quieter now, almost gentle. "Just… don’t regret it, Alicent. You deserve to feel good."
She closed her eyes, her hands clutching the sheets tightly as her heart raced. Regret was inevitable—that much she knew. But for now, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything, couldn’t bring herself to move. So, she stayed there, silent and still, letting the quiet settle over them like a heavy, suffocating blanket.
///
Alicent pulled her dress over her head with trembling hands, her breathing uneven as she tried to steady herself. The moment her feet hit the floor, the room seemed to tilt, the weight of what had just happened crashing down on her all at once. She stood there for a second, her hands gripping the fabric of her dress as though it might anchor her, but the edges of her vision blurred as the emotions hit her like a tidal wave.
She let out a shaky breath, her chest tightening, and before she could stop it, a choked sob escaped her lips. Daemon, still sitting on the edge of the bed, froze mid-motion as he pulled his shirt back on. His gaze snapped to her, his expression shifting from nonchalant to concerned in an instant.
"Hey, hey," he said softly, standing and stepping toward her, his hands outstretched but not touching her yet. "Alicent, you’re okay. Come here."
She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as her sobs grew louder. "No, I’m not," she whispered, her voice trembling, her breath coming faster now. "This was—oh, gods, what did I do? What did we just—?"
Daemon reached out, gently taking her by the shoulders and pulling her into his chest. "Hey, don’t do that," he murmured, his voice low and calm as he ran a hand over her back. "You’re spiraling. Just breathe, okay? You’re okay."
Alicent pressed her face into his chest, but the panic bubbling up inside her wouldn’t stop. She was shaking, her heart racing as her mind cycled through every awful thought. Rhaenyra’s face flashed in her mind, unrelenting, and it made her chest feel like it was caving in.
"I need Rhaenyra," she gasped out, her voice barely audible against his shirt.
Daemon stiffened, his hands pausing mid-motion. "Alicent, that’s—"
"Daemon, please ," she interrupted, her voice cracking as she pulled back to look at him. Her eyes were wide, red-rimmed, and full of desperation. "I’m—I can’t breathe. She’s the only one who knows—she’s the only one who can calm me down."
Daemon sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Ali, I don’t think that’s a good idea. She’s downstairs, and… look, you’re freaking out right now. This could make things worse."
"Daemon," she said, her voice sharper now, tinged with the raw edge of panic. She grabbed his wrist, clutching it tightly as she pleaded with him. "I’m begging you. I—I can’t—I need her. Please."
He hesitated, his jaw tightening as he looked at her. Her breaths were coming faster now, her hands trembling as they gripped his arm, and he could see the full-blown panic attack taking hold.
"Okay," he said finally, his voice softening as he cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. "Okay, I’ll get her. Just sit down, breathe, and try not to work yourself up more, yeah?"
She nodded frantically, her nails digging into his arm as she muttered, "Thank you, thank you."
Daemon sighed again, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead before grabbing his shoes. "Don’t go anywhere," he muttered, his tone exasperated but still laced with concern. He headed toward the door, shaking his head as he muttered to himself. "This is such a bad idea."
The door clicked shut behind him, and Alicent sank onto the edge of the bed, her arms wrapping tightly around her torso as she tried to breathe. But her chest still felt tight, her head spinning as she waited, every second stretching on like an eternity.
///
Downstairs, the sound of music and laughter filled the bar as Daemon pushed his way through the crowd. His gaze landed on Rhaenyra almost immediately—she was standing by the bar, drink in hand, a faint smile on her lips as she talked with a few friends. She looked relaxed, at ease, completely unaware of the storm brewing upstairs.
Daemon hesitated for a moment, considering just how bad this could get, but then he sighed and approached her, tapping her shoulder. "Rhaenyra," he said, leaning closer so she could hear him over the noise. "I need to talk to you. It’s about Alicent."
Rhaenyra’s expression shifted instantly, her brows furrowing as she set her drink down. "What about her? Is she okay?"
"Not really," Daemon admitted, scratching the back of his neck. "She’s upstairs in my room, and she’s… she’s having a panic attack. She says she needs you."
Rhaenyra blinked, her lips parting in surprise. "She’s upstairs with you ?" she asked, her voice sharp. "What the hell, Daemon?"
"Not the point right now," he said quickly, holding up a hand. "Just—can you come? Please? She’s a mess, and she’s not calming down."
Rhaenyra didn’t answer right away. She mechanically put her beer down and Daemon stared at her as she fully processed what he just implied. Rhaenyra grabbed him by the collar, slamming him against the bar with a force that rattled the glasses on the counter. The entire room seemed to freeze as she leaned in, her voice a low, furious growl. “Did you screw her?”
Daemon’s expression flickered, his usual confidence faltering under the weight of her rage. “Rhaenyra, listen—”
She didn’t give him the chance to finish. Her knee shot up hard, slamming into his stomach, and he doubled over with a sharp gasp, clutching his middle as he stumbled to the floor. The friends nearby shouted in surprise, some stepping forward, but no one dared get in Rhaenyra’s way.
“ Did you screw her? ” she screamed, her voice breaking with the force of her anger. She didn’t wait for an answer, dropping down and landing a solid punch to his jaw. He groaned, falling back against the bar as he tried to catch his breath, blood trickling from the corner of his lip.
“Rhaenyra!” one of their friends shouted, stepping closer. “Hey, stop—”
“Stay out of it!” Rhaenyra snapped, her glare cutting through anyone who dared interfere. Her chest heaved as she glared down at Daemon, who was still struggling to get his bearings.
“Gods, you’re dramatic,” Daemon muttered, wiping the blood from his lip as he tried to sit up. His voice was strained. “You two are done. You even screwed Margaery. What’s the problem?”
That was the wrong thing to say.
Rhaenyra lunged forward, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and shoving him back against the bar with enough force to knock the air out of him. “You’re dead to me,” she hissed, her voice trembling with barely contained fury.
Rhaenyra spat, shoving him one last time before stepping back. She didn’t waste another second on him, spinning on her heel and storming toward the stairs. The crowd of friends parted silently, their wide eyes following her as she disappeared upstairs without a word.
Daemon groaned from his spot on the floor, rubbing his jaw as he looked up at the stunned faces surrounding him. “Well,” he muttered, wincing as he sat up. “That went about as well as I expected.”
One of the friends crouched down beside him, whispering, “What the hell did you do?”
Daemon just sighed, shaking his head as he glanced toward the stairs. “Not enough to deserve that, but apparently I’ve made my choices.”
Upstairs, Rhaenyra’s pulse thundered in her ears as she approached Daemon’s room. Her hand trembled slightly as she reached for the door handle, her mind already spinning with a thousand different emotions—anger, heartbreak, worry—but all of it disappeared the moment she stepped inside.
Rhaenyra opened the door quietly, but her fury lingered just beneath her calm exterior as she stepped into the dimly lit room. Alicent sat on the edge of the bed, her entire frame trembling. Her face was pale, blotchy from crying, and her hands were wringing the fabric of her dress in a way that made Rhaenyra’s chest ache. She looked so small, so out of place, like she didn’t belong in this room—or in this situation at all.
Rhaenyra’s eyes flicked to the bed. The sheets were crumpled, the unmistakable evidence of what had happened lingering in the air like a heavy weight. Her jaw clenched, and she sucked in a sharp breath through her nose, trying to suppress the anger that threatened to rise again. This wasn’t about her. Not right now.
Alicent followed her gaze, her breath hitching as she realized what Rhaenyra had seen. Her lips trembled, and tears welled in her eyes again. “Nyra..I’m so sorry…” she choked out, her voice raw and shaky. “I fucked up..I’m so sorry.”
Rhaenyra moved before she could think, crossing the room in a few quick strides and kneeling in front of Alicent. She grabbed her shoulders gently but firmly, grounding her, forcing her to look at her. “Ali stop,” she said softly, her voice low but steady. “It’s okay. Just breathe.”
But Alicent couldn’t stop. She shook her head frantically, tears streaming down her cheeks as she clutched Rhaenyra’s arms, her fingers trembling. “I don’t know why I did that,” she said, her voice breaking. “I don’t—I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I didn’t even want to, and then I just—" She gasped for air, her words tumbling over each other in a panicked rush. “Now I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I don’t know how to stop this—Rhaenyra, I don’t know.”
Rhaenyra didn’t say anything. She didn’t try to rationalize it or offer reassurances. She cradled Alicent close, her hands running gently over her back as the room fell into a heavy silence. Alicent’s sobs were quieter now, but her trembling didn’t stop, her face still buried in Rhaenyra’s shoulder. Rhaenyra held her tighter, her jaw clenched as her mind reeled. The bed, the state Alicent was in, Daemon’s smug demeanor downstairs—it was too much. Her voice was low, careful, but laced with tension when she finally spoke.
“Did he force you?” she asked, her words deliberate, sharp, her hands stilling for a moment.
Alicent stiffened in her arms, her breath hitching, and she pulled back slightly to look at Rhaenyra, her tear-streaked face full of panic and hurt. “No,” she said quickly, her voice trembling. “No, he didn’t. It wasn’t like that.”
Rhaenyra searched her face, her chest tight with barely contained fury. “Ali,” she pressed, her tone softening but still firm. “If he—”
“No,” Alicent interrupted, shaking her head vehemently as fresh tears welled in her eyes. “It wasn’t him. If anything… if anything, I forced myself.” Her voice broke on the last words, her gaze dropping to the floor as she clutched at the fabric of her dress. “I didn’t even know what I was doing. I just—" She sucked in a sharp breath, her body trembling as she tried to continue. “I wanted to stop feeling like this.”
Rhaenyra didn’t respond immediately, her throat tightening as she processed Alicent’s words. The anger that had been burning so hot in her chest began to cool, replaced by a deep ache. Alicent’s panic, her regret, the way she was crumbling in her arms—it wasn’t about Daemon. It wasn’t even about her, not entirely.
“I shouldn’t have,” Alicent whispered, her voice cracking as she buried her face in Rhaenyra’s shoulder again. “ I don’t know what I was thinking..”
Rhaenyra wrapped her arms around her again, tighter this time, her hand gently cupping the back of Alicent’s head. “Ali I won’t pretend to understand why you did that but it’s okay..you’re okay,” she murmured, her voice steady despite the heaviness in her chest.
But Alicent shook her head, her sobs growing louder as she clung to Rhaenyra. “It’s not okay,” she cried, her words muffled against her shoulder. “I—I know you slept with Margaery.”
Rhaenyra froze, her entire body tensing at the words. Her grip on Alicent slackened slightly, her breath catching as guilt crashed over her. She hadn’t expected it to come up—not now, not like this. But of course Alicent knew. She always knew.
Rhaenyra’s hands faltered for a moment before she tightened her hold again, her jaw clenching as she struggled to find the right words. “Oh Ali…” she started, her voice low and hesitant, but Alicent cut her off, pulling back just enough to look at her.
“It’s all ruined now,” she sobbed, her voice cracking. “Everything’s ruined. We can never—we can never get back together after this. He’s your friend . One of your best friends, and I—I can’t believe I—” She broke off with a gasp, her chest heaving as she tried and failed to steady herself.
Rhaenyra’s jaw tightened, her hands moving to Alicent’s waist, grounding her as she tried to cut through the panic. “Baby please try to breathe,” she said firmly, her voice steady despite the storm of emotions churning inside her. The word ‘baby’ just naturally slipped out. “You’re working yourself up, and you’re going to make yourself sick. Just stop and—”
“I can’t stop,” Alicent interrupted, her voice trembling as she shook her head frantically. “I—I can’t stop thinking about how stupid I was, how awful this is, how I’ve ruined everything. I know we ended, okay? I know that. But I always thought…” Her voice broke again, and she let out a choked sob, her head tipping forward as she clung to Rhaenyra like a lifeline. “I always thought one day we’d fix it. That we’d find a way back to each other.”
Rhaenyra froze at that, her breath catching as her chest tightened painfully. She opened her mouth to say something—anything—but Alicent barreled on, her words spilling out faster and faster, like she couldn’t stop even if she wanted to.
“I didn’t even realize I thought that,” Alicent continued, her voice climbing higher with panic. “Not until now. Not until I did this, and now it’s all I can think about. That I ruined it. That I ruined us. And I can’t believe I’m saying this to you, I can’t believe I’m even thinking it, but I always thought—”
“You’re not listening to me,” Rhaenyra interrupted, her voice sharp but not unkind. She tightened her grip on Alicent’s face, her thumbs brushing her tear-streaked cheeks. “You’re panicking, and you’re not thinking clearly. None of this is as final as you think it is. You’re overwhelmed, and that’s making everything feel a thousand times worse than it is.”
Alicent shook her head, more tears spilling over as her voice broke again. “You know I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never even wanted to. And now I have, and it wasn’t just anyone—it was Daemon . And I know things have been weird between me and you, but I can’t believe I—I mean, how could I—” Her voice cracked, and she buried her face in her hands, her
“Clearly I’ve fucked up to, you know that. And I..none of this is…neither of us did anything wrong okay?” Rhaenyra said firmly, her voice steady despite the ache in her chest. “You made a mistake. So did I. That’s all. And mistakes can be fixed. You and I—whatever happens between us—we’ll figure it out. But you have to let yourself breathe. Just breathe, okay? I’m right here.”
Alicent let out a choked sob, her body trembling as she clung to Rhaenyra, her breaths still coming fast and shallow. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again, her voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”
Rhaenyra pressed her lips to the top of Alicent’s head, her arms tightening around her as she whispered, “I know, Ali. Me too.” And for now, she let the silence stretch between them, letting Alicent cry herself out as she held her, steady and unwavering.
///
About a half hour later, Rhaenyra didn’t say much as she guided Alicent through the quiet streets, one arm wrapped protectively around her waist.
When they reached Rhaenyra’s apartment— their old apartment—Alicent hesitated in the doorway, her wide, red-rimmed eyes scanning the familiar space as though it were a ghost from her past. The furniture was the same, the faint scent of the candles Alicent used to light still lingering faintly in the air, and it made her chest tighten. She hadn’t been back here since she moved out.
“Come on,” Rhaenyra said softly, nudging her forward. Her tone wasn’t commanding, but it left no room for argument. Alicent followed without a word, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as Rhaenyra led her to the bedroom.
Once inside, Rhaenyra opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of soft, worn pajamas Alicent had left behind. She handed them to her without comment, her expression calm and steady, though her own heart ached. “Take a shower,” Rhaenyra said quietly, her voice gentle. “You’ll feel better.”
Alicent nodded faintly, clutching the pajamas to her chest like a shield, but as she turned toward the bathroom, she stopped, her shoulders tense. “Can you… can you stay with me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn’t turn around, her fingers gripping the fabric tightly. “In the bathroom, I mean. I just… I don’t want to be alone.”
Rhaenyra hesitated for only a moment before nodding. “Of course,” she said, her voice soft but sure. She followed Alicent into the bathroom, closing the door behind them and leaning against the counter as Alicent set the pajamas aside.
The sound of the water running filled the silence as Alicent stepped into the shower, her movements slow and shaky. Rhaenyra stayed where she was, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes focused on the floor to give Alicent a sense of privacy. But she was there, steady and present, and that was enough.
When Alicent finally stepped out of the shower, her hair damp and her skin flushed from the heat, Rhaenyra moved to her without hesitation. She took the towel from the rack and wrapped it around Alicent, drying her gently before helping her into the soft pajamas. Alicent didn’t say anything, letting Rhaenyra guide her as if she were a child, her body pliant and her mind clearly still elsewhere.
Once Alicent was dressed, Rhaenyra led her to the bed, pulling back the covers and helping her settle in. Alicent sank into the mattress, her arms wrapping around herself until Rhaenyra slipped in beside her. The moment Rhaenyra was close enough, Alicent latched onto her, burying her face in her shoulder and clinging to her tightly.
They lay like that for a while, the silence heavy but not uncomfortable. Rhaenyra’s fingers moved in slow, soothing patterns over Alicent’s back, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. She debated whether to say anything at all, whether it would help or make things worse, but the weight in her chest wouldn’t let her stay quiet.
“Margaery was a mistake,” Rhaenyra said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. She felt Alicent stiffen slightly in her arms but didn’t stop. “I was drunk. Really drunk. And… I was heartbroken. You left, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t think. I just—”
Alicent didn’t say anything, but Rhaenyra could feel her holding her breath, her fingers curling slightly against Rhaenyra’s side. She didn’t pull away, though, and Rhaenyra took it as a sign to continue.
“I hated myself afterward,” she admitted, her voice raw. “It didn’t fix anything. It didn’t make me feel better. It just… made everything worse.” She sighed, her fingers pausing for a moment before resuming their slow movements. “I’m sorry. For hurting you. For all of it.”
Alicent remained quiet, her breathing steady but shallow as she processed Rhaenyra’s words. Her grip on her tightened slightly, her head pressing deeper into her shoulder, but she didn’t speak. Rhaenyra didn’t push her, didn’t ask for a response.
Alicent stirred slightly, her fingers brushing against Rhaenyra’s side. Her voice was quiet, barely audible. “Was it just once?” she asked, the words trembling on her lips.
Rhaenyra stilled, her heart sinking at the question. She’d been expecting it, dreading it, but hearing it out loud still made her chest tighten. “Yeah,” she said softly, her voice steady but hesitant. “It was just once.”
Alicent’s fingers flexed against her shirt, and she was quiet for a moment. Rhaenyra could almost hear her thoughts, the way they spiraled and twisted, and it made her ache.
“Was she better than me?” Alicent asked, her voice cracking on the last word. She didn’t look up, her face still pressed against Rhaenyra’s shoulder, but her grip on her tightened slightly, as if bracing herself for the answer.
Rhaenyra sighed, her hand stilling on Alicent’s back as her own insecurities bubbled to the surface. This wasn’t just a question about Margaery. It was about them—about everything they’d built together since they were kids. Best friends since the eighth grade, inseparable through every awkward phase and milestone. They were each other’s first everything—first crush, first kiss, first love. What started as shy, tentative hand-holding in the school hallways had grown into something so much deeper, something they thought was unbreakable.
Rhaenyra closed her eyes, her chest tightening as she thought of the years they’d spent together. The innocent way Alicent used to blush whenever she held her hand. The way it had taken years—literal years—for Alicent to feel comfortable enough to be physical with her, to open up in that way. They were nineteen before they finally took that step, and even then, it was slow, careful, because that’s who Alicent was. Rhaenyra never minded—she never pushed, never made Alicent feel like she wasn’t enough.
But now, here they were, with Alicent asking if someone else had been better. And Rhaenyra hated that Alicent even felt the need to ask.
“No,” Rhaenyra said firmly, her voice low but certain. “She wasn’t better than you, Alicent. Not even close.”
Alicent sniffled softly, her head turning slightly as she glanced up at Rhaenyra, her eyes red and swollen. “You don’t have to say that,” she whispered, her voice small. “I know I wasn’t… the most sexual person in the world. I think that’s partially why I pushed myself to do this with Daemon tonight. To prove to myself something. I don’t even know what.”
Rhaenyra’s chest tightened as Alicent’s words hung in the air, heavy with shame and self-doubt. She turned her head, her gaze softening as she took in the sight of Alicent—so small, so fragile, her voice trembling with each word.
“You don’t have to prove anything, Alicent,” Rhaenyra said quietly, her tone low but steady. She hesitated for a moment, her hand hovering before she reached out to rest it gently on Alicent’s knee. “Not to me. Not to yourself. Not to anyone.”
Alicent shook her head, her breath hitching as fresh tears welled in her eyes. “But I do,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I’ve always felt… like I wasn’t enough for you. Like I couldn’t be enough. And tonight, I—I don’t even know why I did it. I just… I felt so broken, and I thought maybe—”
“Ali,” Rhaenyra interrupted softly, her hand tightening slightly on Alicent’s knee. “Stop. You don’t have to explain it to me. I understand, okay? I get it.”
Alicent looked up at her, her lips trembling as she searched Rhaenyra’s face. “Do you?” she asked softly, her voice full of doubt.
“I do,” Rhaenyra said firmly, her gaze steady. “I know how hard it’s always been for you. To… to open up, to feel comfortable in your own skin. That was never something I resented, Alicent. Ever. I knew who you were—who you are —and I loved that about you. I still do.”
Alicent’s breath hitched again, her tears spilling over as she ducked her head, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. “I didn’t know how to handle it,” she admitted quietly. “The breakup, you with Margaery… it all felt like confirmation that I wasn’t good enough. That I never was.”
Rhaenyra’s hand moved, brushing lightly against Alicent’s arm, and her voice softened even further. “You were always good enough. More than enough. I never wanted you to change who you were for me. I loved you for you.”
Alicent let out a shaky breath, her hands gripping the fabric of her pajama top tightly. “Then why does it feel like everything fell apart because of me?” she asked, her voice barely audible.
Rhaenyra hesitated, her own chest aching as she watched Alicent crumble in front of her. “Because when things fall apart,” she said quietly, “it’s easy to blame yourself. To pick apart every little thing you could’ve done differently. But the truth is, Ali, we both made mistakes. Big ones. And what happened tonight? It doesn’t define you. It doesn’t define us.”
Alicent nodded faintly, though the doubt still lingered in her expression. “I just… I don’t want you to hate me,” she whispered.
Rhaenyra’s heart ached at the raw vulnerability in her voice. She shifted closer, her hand moving to cup Alicent’s face gently. “I could never hate you,” she said softly, her thumb brushing away a tear from Alicent’s cheek. “Never.”
Alicent closed her eyes, leaning into Rhaenyra’s touch as a shaky sigh escaped her lips. She still felt fragile, like she might fall apart again at any moment, but Rhaenyra’s steady presence kept her grounded.
“How… how did it happen?” Alicent asked, her tone tentative but insistent.
Rhaenyra tensed, her fingers stilling in Alicent’s hair. “Ali,” she began softly, a note of warning in her voice, “I don’t think—”
“Please,” Alicent interrupted, her voice trembling but firm. She pulled back slightly, her watery eyes locking onto Rhaenyra’s. “I need to know. I just… I need to understand. I keep imagining it, and I know whatever I’m picturing is worse than the truth, so… please. Just tell me.”
Rhaenyra exhaled slowly. She didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to dig into details that could hurt Alicent even more. But she knew her—knew how her mind worked, how she latched onto things and wouldn’t let them go until she could pick them apart and build them into something she could make sense of.
“Alright,” Rhaenyra said reluctantly, her voice low. “But only because I know it’ll help you stop torturing yourself.”
Alicent nodded, her fingers twisting anxiously in the fabric of her pajama top. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice soft and raw. “Just… start from the beginning.”
Rhaenyra hesitated, her throat tightening. “It was at Laena’s party,” she began, her words careful and measured. “I’d had way too much to drink. Like, way too much. I wasn’t thinking straight. Margaery was just… there. We were both drunk. It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t anything like that.”
Alicent frowned, her brow furrowing. “You’d never even looked at her that way before,” she said, her voice laced with confusion. “I mean… she’s more my friend than yours. Or at least she was.”
“I know,” Rhaenyra admitted, her tone tinged with regret. “It wasn’t about her. It could’ve been anyone, honestly. I wasn’t thinking about her, not really. I was just… hurting. And she was there.”
Alicent was quiet for a moment, her fingers fiddling with the edge of Rhaenyra’s shirt. “What did it… what did it feel like?” she asked hesitantly, her voice barely audible.
Rhaenyra’s stomach twisted, and she looked away, her jaw tightening. “It felt… empty,” she admitted, her voice low and strained. “It wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t passionate or meaningful or even… good. I barely remember it, honestly. It didn’t mean anything.”
Alicent stared at her, her lips pressing into a thin line as she absorbed the information. “Did she… I mean, was she into it? Did she say anything after?” Her voice was shaky, but her gaze was sharp, probing.
Rhaenyra sighed, her hands moving to Alicent’s waist to ground herself. “I think she felt as awkward about it as I did afterward,” she said honestly. “We didn’t talk about it. We both just… left it. She probably regrets it as much as I do.”
Alicent nodded faintly, her gaze dropping as she bit her lip. “How long did it last?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Ali no,” Rhaenyra said gently, her hands tightening on her waist.
“Nyra,,” Alicent said immediately, looking up at her with red-rimmed eyes. “I need to know.”
Rhaenyra sighed again, her shoulders sagging. “Not long. Maybe ten minutes? It was quick, messy, and… honestly, nothing compared to what we had. Not even close.”
Alicent’s lips trembled, and she ducked her head, her hair falling into her face. “How did you feel after?” she asked softly.
“Awful,” Rhaenyra admitted without hesitation. “I felt sick. Guilty. Like I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. And I still do.” Rhaenyra hesitated before asking a question, her brow furrowing. “No, I wasn’t hiding it,” she said carefully. “How did you find out?”
“Laena told me,” Alicent admitted, her voice trembling slightly.
Rhaenyra blinked, her jaw tightening as a flicker of annoyance passed over her face. “Of course she did,” she muttered, shaking her head. “I mean, I get it. You two are close. I just didn’t expect her to go back and tell you.”
“She didn’t do it to hurt you,” Alicent said quickly, her voice defensive. “She was really drunk when she let it slip. And honestly, I think she was just trying to look out for me.”
Rhaenyra sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I’m not mad at her,” she said quietly, her voice soft with regret. “I just… wish it hadn’t come out like that. I never wanted to hurt you more than I already had.”
“I know you never wanted to hurt me. I’ll always know that.” Alicent nodded slowly, her fingers picking at a loose thread on the hem of her pajama top. She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment before glancing up at Rhaenyra. “I… I still have some questions,” she said softly, her voice tentative but steady. “If that’s okay.”
Rhaenyra shifted slightly, leaning back on the couch as she regarded Alicent with a faint frown. “Ali,” she started carefully, “don’t do this to yourself.”
“I know,” Alicent said quickly, shaking her head. “But I need to. Just a few more.” She paused, her cheeks flushing slightly as she looked away. “Was it just… normal? Like, um… like you on top?”
The question hung awkwardly between them, Alicent’s nerves palpable as she avoided Rhaenyra’s gaze. Rhaenyra blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift, her body stiffening slightly as she processed what Alicent had just asked.
Rhaenyra’s body tensed immediately, her discomfort evident in the way her gaze darted away. She let out a quiet sigh, her jaw tightening before she forced herself to answer. “Yeah,” she said softly, her voice low and reluctant. “It was mostly… that. And, um, a little bit of her on top.”
Alicent’s lips pressed into a thin line as she absorbed the information, her mind already picking it apart in the way she always did. “That couldn’t have been just ten minutes,” she said, almost absentmindedly. “That’s two positions. Even switching takes time.”
Rhaenyra exhaled deeply, closing her eyes for a moment before looking at Alicent again. “I mean,” she said, her tone quieter now, tinged with frustration but mostly exhaustion. “I wasn’t exactly timing it. I wasn’t thinking about anything like that. I just know it wasn’t long. I promise.”
Alicent nodded, her gaze dropping again as she mulled over the answer. She wasn’t being judgmental—Rhaenyra could see that—but her natural tendency to dig, to build the full picture in her mind, made her ask the next question. “Did you use protection?”
Rhaenyra froze, her shoulders stiffening as she looked down at Alicent. Her silence was answer enough, and Alicent’s lips parted slightly, her brow furrowing. “Oh,” she said softly, the word almost a whisper.
Rhaenyra shifted uncomfortably, her hand absently running up and down Alicent’s arm. She wanted to explain, to say something, but there were no excuses that wouldn’t sound hollow. “It was a mistake,” she said finally, her voice strained. “I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
Alicent nodded faintly, her lips pressing together as she leaned back into Rhaenyra’s arms. The silence stretched between them again, thick and awkward, until Rhaenyra hesitated, her throat tightening before she asked, “Did you… with Daemon?”
Alicent blinked, pulling back slightly to look at her. “Yeah, of course,” she said softly, her tone matter-of-fact. Her gaze dropped, her fingers twisting nervously in her lap. “I mean… it wouldn’t have happened otherwise.”
Rhaenyra stayed silent, her jaw tightening as she tried to keep her expression neutral. She knew this wasn’t the time, knew Alicent had just spiraled into a full-blown panic attack over what had happened. The tension in the room was unbearable, and Rhaenyra could feel her own exhaustion pressing down on her, pulling her closer to the edge of her patience.
She sighed quietly as she glanced at Alicent. “We should sleep,” she said softly, her tone even but distant. “I can take the couch.”
Alicent blinked, her head snapping up to look at her. Her brows furrowed, and she hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. “Can you not do that?” she asked quietly, her voice trembling slightly but steady enough to carry the weight of her words.
Rhaenyra turned to her, confusion flickering across her face. “What?” she asked, her voice low.
“It’s… stupid for you to sleep on the couch,” Alicent said, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. “This is your place. And… I don’t want you to.”
Rhaenyra’s eyes softened, the tension in her posture easing as she studied Alicent’s expression. She could see the vulnerability there, the rawness that hadn’t yet faded, and for a moment, she didn’t say anything. Then she nodded, her voice quiet but certain. “Okay. Sure.”
They slipped under the covers in silence, the air still heavy with unspoken words. Rhaenyra shifted closer, her arm hesitating for a moment before wrapping around Alicent’s waist. She pulled her close, holding her tightly as Alicent buried her face in her shoulder.
///
Alicent blinked slowly, her body sinking into the familiar comfort of the bed she hadn’t slept in for months. She hadn’t meant to sleep this late—hadn’t planned on sleeping at all, really—but the night’s emotional exhaustion, coupled with the safety of being back in their old bed, had left her in the deepest, most restful sleep she’d had in ages. She stretched slightly, her body sore in the way that comes from too much tension finally letting go, and glanced around the room. It was just as she remembered it—almost painfully so.
The door creaked open, and Alicent looked up to see Rhaenyra walk in, dressed in sweats, her hair pulled into a loose bun. She carried two mugs of coffee, and without a word, she handed one to Alicent before sitting down.
Alicent hesitated, her fingers wrapping around the mug. Rhaenyra had already settled in, her posture relaxed, but her expression was unreadable.
Her eyes flicked to Rhaenyra, then down to the coffee again. She felt exposed, raw, and absolutely mortified. “I… I’m sorry about last night,” she started quietly, her voice hesitant. “I was so selfish.”
Rhaenyra’s brow furrowed, her gaze shifting to Alicent. “Alicent—”
“I slept with your best friend,” Alicent continued, cutting her off. Her cheeks burned as she forced the words out, the weight of them pressing heavily on her chest. “And then I made you come into the room and comfort me about it. Who does that? Who—” She broke off, letting out a shaky breath as she stared into her coffee. “I can’t even imagine what you must think of me right now.”
Rhaenyra’s face tightened, a flicker of discomfort crossing her features as she looked away. Her silence stretched for a long moment, the tension between them palpable. Finally, she sighed, her voice quieter now. “I’m still processing what happened,” she admitted. “But I’m more mad at him than I am at you. You’re allowed to-”
Alicent looked at her sharply, her brow furrowing. “Don’t do that,” she said, her tone firmer than she expected. “Don’t give me the standard, politically correct line about how I’m allowed to do whatever I want. I know that, Rhaenyra. But you’re still allowed to have feelings about it.”
Rhaenyra tensed slightly, her hands tightening around her own mug. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” she said carefully, her voice low. “I’m trying to be honest with you. I’m trying to stay calm here.”
“I know,” Alicent said quickly, her tone softening. She looked down at her coffee, her fingers nervously tracing the rim of the mug. “I just… I can tell you’re holding back. And maybe it’s wrong of me to poke and prod at you, to try and figure out exactly what you’re feeling. But I want to know. I need to know.”
Rhaenyra was quiet for a long moment, her jaw tightening as she stared into her mug. Finally, she sighed, setting it down on the coffee table before turning to face Alicent fully. “What do you want me to say?” she asked, her voice strained. “That I hated hearing about it? That it made me sick to my stomach to imagine you with him? That I’ve been trying to tell myself it doesn’t matter because we’re not together, and you’re allowed to make your own choices, but it still does matter because it’s you ?”
Alicent’s breath caught, her eyes widening as she stared at her. Rhaenyra’s voice softened, but the tension in her posture remained. “Of course I feel something about it. But it’s not my place to make you feel worse about it than you already do. You were overwhelmed. You made a mistake. I’m mad at Daemon because he should’ve known better—he did know better. But I’m not here to punish you for it.”
Alicent watched her, the tension between them thick and heavy. Rhaenyra’s fingers drummed against the side of her coffee cup, her jaw tight as she avoided Alicent’s gaze. The silence stretched on, the weight of everything unsaid settling between them.
Finally, Alicent spoke, her voice soft but steady. “Ask me your questions. I know you have them.”
Rhaenyra froze, her fingers halting their rhythm. She looked at Alicent for a moment, her brow furrowed, before shaking her head. “Ali, you know I don’t process things the same way you do,” she said carefully, her voice low. “I don’t work through things like this.”
Alicent nodded, her gaze unwavering. “I know that,” she said quietly. “But I also know you. You keep things bottled up, you don’t ask what you need to know, and then you build resentment until it explodes. It’s one of the reasons why we broke up.”
Rhaenyra’s jaw tightened, and she let out a long sigh, her shoulders sagging. She stood abruptly, pacing to the far end of the room as Alicent’s eyes followed her every move. She ran a hand through her hair, letting out a frustrated breath before turning back toward Alicent.
“You had a literal panic attack about what happened last night,” Rhaenyra said, her voice edged with tension. “And now you’re ready to talk about it?”
Alicent set her coffee mug down carefully, her hands folded tightly in her lap. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to talk about it,” she admitted, her voice trembling slightly. “But I’d rather get it out now than have this looming, unsaid thing hanging between us. That stresses me out more than anything else.”
Rhaenyra hesitated, her chest rising and falling as she considered Alicent’s words. Finally, she sighed again and sat back down, her posture tense. Her hands rested on her knees as she stared at the floor for a moment before meeting Alicent’s gaze. “Fine,” she said quietly. “Let’s start from the beginning. How did it happen? You don’t even like Daemon. How did you go from being in the bar with everyone else to being upstairs in his room?”
Alicent swallowed hard, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her pajama top. “I don’t even know, Rhaenyra,” she said softly, her voice tinged with shame. “I mean, I do, but… it wasn’t like I planned it. It wasn’t like I wanted it.” She let out a shaky breath, her gaze dropping to her lap. “I was drunk. Really drunk. And I felt… awful. And then I saw you with everyone, laughing, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Margaery.”
Rhaenyra’s jaw tightened, but she didn’t interrupt. Alicent glanced at her briefly before continuing.
“Daemon came up to me at the bar,” Alicent said, her voice low. “He was… there, and he noticed I wasn’t okay. He started talking to me, asking me what was wrong. And I don’t know why, but I let him. It felt easier to talk to him than to just sit there and wallow in my own head.” She paused, biting her lip. “And then he said something about going upstairs, just to get away from everyone. I didn’t even think about it—I just… followed him.”
Rhaenyra’s fists clenched slightly, but she remained quiet, her gaze fixed on Alicent as she spoke.
“I don’t remember all of it,” Alicent admitted, her voice breaking. “It’s blurry. I know I wasn’t myself, and I wasn’t thinking straight. He wasn’t pushy or anything—he didn’t make me do anything. If anything, I… I made the first move. I kissed him.” She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes.
Rhaenyra leaned back, her hands running down her face as she let out a long, shaky breath. “You were drunk,” she said finally, her voice quieter now. “And you were hurting. I get that. But, Alicent… of all people…”
“I know,” Alicent whispered, her tears spilling over.
Rhaenyra’s gaze softened slightly, though the tension in her posture remained. “I don’t know how to feel about this,” she admitted, her voice barely audible. “And I don’t need all the details like you do,” she said, her gaze fixed somewhere just past her. “But… did you enjoy it?”
Alicent froze, her breath catching as the question hung in the air. Her lips parted, but the words felt caught in her throat. After a moment, she swallowed hard, her voice trembling as she spoke. “Not at first,” she admitted softly. “Not at all, really. I mean… obviously, by the end, I was feeling something physical.”
Rhaenyra visibly flinched at that, her hands tightening on her knees as her jaw clenched. “Gods,” she muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “Forget I asked.”
Alicent sighed, her gaze dropping to the coffee mug she’d abandoned on the table. She turned her head away, her voice quieter now. “I mean Nyra… it was sex,” she said, her words clipped but not unkind. “It wasn’t about feelings or… anything deeper than that.”
“I know that,” Rhaenyra said quickly, her voice sharp as she leaned back against the couch. Her expression was tight, her frustration bleeding through despite her best efforts to keep it contained. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to ask. Hearing the details—it’s going to drive me insane.”
Alicent nodded, her face pale as she bit her lip. “Well…” she started hesitantly, her voice softer now. “Did you enjoy it with Margaery?”
Rhaenyra’s head snapped toward her, her eyes narrowing slightly as she tensed. “Alicent—”
“Did you?” Alicent pressed, her voice wavering but firm. “Did you finish inside of her?”
“ Alicent, come on, ” Rhaenyra said sharply, cutting her off as her tone grew more exasperated. “Don’t go there.”
But Alicent’s expression twisted, her brow furrowing as her voice cracked. “You did, didn’t you?” she whispered, her words trembling with a mix of hurt and disbelief.
Rhaenyra opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. Her silence was answer enough, and Alicent’s chest tightened painfully as she let out a shaky breath, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“I wasn’t thinking,” Rhaenyra said finally, her voice quieter now, almost defensive. “I was drunk.”
"Did you get her Plan B?" she asked pointedly, her gaze locking onto Rhaenyra.
Rhaenyra blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Uh… no," she said slowly, frowning as she shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "I mean, I didn’t even think about it. I just assumed she would—"
" God , Rhaenyra," Alicent cut in, her voice rising slightly, though it still carried more exasperation than outright anger. "Margaery isn’t on the pill. I’m her friend , remember? I know she doesn’t believe in it."
Rhaenyra’s expression faltered, her brow furrowing deeply as she looked at Alicent. “She doesn’t? I didn’t know that.”
“Gods, Rhaenyra, how could you not have even asked,” Alicent snapped, her voice laced with irritation as she crossed her arms. "Do you even realize what that would mean?” Alicent said, her voice rising slightly as she turned to face Rhaenyra, her expression somewhere between panic and desperation.
Rhaenyra stayed seated on the couch, watching her quietly, her fingers gripping the edge of her mug. She could see Alicent spiraling, the way her voice shook and her hands fidgeted as she paced. This wasn’t blame—it was pure panic. Rhaenyra sighed, setting the mug down on the coffee table as she leaned forward.
“Take a breath,” she said softly, though her voice carried an edge of firmness. “You’re working yourself up.”
“I can’t not work myself up.” Alicent exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “I mean, can you imagine? Do you know how much worse this could get if—” She stopped herself mid-sentence, her breath hitching as she ran a hand through her hair, her pacing slowing but not stopping. “I don’t even want to think about it. I can’t.”
Rhaenyra leaned back, exhaling deeply as she ran a hand over her face. “Alicent, you’re freaking out,” she said carefully. “I get it. I do. But this happened over a month ago.” Her tone was steady but firm, though there was a softness underneath. “At this point, if there was something to worry about… I think we’d know by now.”
Alicent blinked, her breathing slowing slightly as the words began to sink in. She exhaled shakily, her hands clenching in her lap as a faint glimmer of relief crossed her face. “A month,” she repeated softly, nodding to herself. “Okay.”
Rhaenyra hesitated, her hand tightening on the edge of the counter. “Yeah,” she admitted, her voice cautious.
The room fell quiet for a beat, but the calm didn’t last. Alicent’s gaze hardened as something else clicked into place. “You’ve been out with her since then, haven’t you?” she asked, her tone rising slightly. “So, how does that work?” She sat up straighter, her voice sharper now as she continued, “She was with the group two weeks ago, Rhaenyra. And I was there, buying her a fucking shot . Like some idiot who didn’t know my friend had slept with my ex. My ex, who I was with for ten years.”
Her voice cracked on the last words, and she quickly looked away, her cheeks flushing with a mix of anger and heartbreak. Her chest rose and fell unevenly, and Rhaenyra could see the storm of emotions brewing just beneath the surface—anger, yes, but also the kind of pain that could only come from betrayal.
Rhaenyra exhaled slowly, guilt flickering across her face as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, her voice laden with regret. “I should have told you. I didn’t handle it the way I should have.”
Alicent’s head snapped up, her red-rimmed eyes glassy but sharp as they locked on Rhaenyra. “I know we were broken up,” she started, her voice trembling but with an edge of steel. “I know that. But, Rhaenyra… we were together since we were thirteen years old. Thirteen. We were each other’s everything . Each other’s onlys. And weeks— weeks —after we end things, right after I move out, you not only sleep with someone, but one of our friends. Someone who’s more my friend than yours. My old coworker, who somehow wiggled her way into the friend group.”
Her voice cracked, and she looked away quickly, her chest heaving as she tried to pull herself together. Her hands gripped the edge of the couch so tightly her knuckles turned white. “Do you even understand how that felt?” she continued, her voice quieter but no less cutting. “To sit there two weeks ago, buying her a fucking shot , thinking I was being nice, being polite, while all the while you—” She stopped, her voice breaking completely as she choked on her words.
Rhaenyra flinched, her heart sinking at the sight of Alicent unraveling. “Ali,” she said softly, her tone filled with quiet desperation, “I know I hurt you. I know it was wrong, and I hate that it happened. But it wasn’t about her. It wasn’t even about us. I wasn’t thinking—I wasn’t thinking about anyone but myself. And I hate that you found out like this. You didn’t deserve that.”
Alicent let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head as she stared down at her lap. “No, I didn’t,” she said, her voice sharp but trembling. “But here we are. And now I have to sit here and live with it. With the image of it. With the fact that she got to touch you when I…” Her voice faltered, and she shook her head, her chest heaving as she tried to hold herself together.
Rhaenyra leaned forward, her hands fidgeting in her lap as she tried to find the right words. “It didn’t mean anything, Alicent,” she said softly. “It wasn’t like that. It was… stupid, and empty, and I regret it. I didn’t know how to deal with losing you.”
Alicent’s lip trembled, and she looked away, her fingers twisting in her lap. “I hate her,” she muttered, her voice shaking. “I hate her for what she did, for what you both did. And I hate myself because I have no right to. Not after what I did last night with—” She stopped abruptly, her breath catching as her own guilt surfaced.
Rhaenyra’s gaze dropped, her jaw tightening as she looked away, her voice firm and strained. “I can’t talk about what happened last night anymore,” she said abruptly, cutting Alicent off before she could continue.
Alicent nodded slowly, her own gaze falling to her lap. She twisted her fingers nervously, her voice soft but insistent. “Don’t blame Daemon,” she said after a pause. “He didn’t… he wasn’t…”
“Please don’t defend him to me,” Rhaenyra interrupted sharply, her tone rising with barely contained frustration. “Because I think I’ll freak out.”
Alicent’s brow furrowed, her voice trembling as she looked up at her. “Rhaenyra, it was my choice.”
Rhaenyra’s jaw clenched as she turned to look at Alicent, her eyes flashing with emotion. “He had a choice too,” she said, her voice low but heavy with intensity. “And he chose to sleep with you.”
Alicent opened her mouth to respond, but Rhaenyra cut her off again, her voice breaking as she leaned forward. “Alicent, you are the love of my fucking life.”
That shut Alicent up immediately, her lips parting slightly as her breath hitched. Her heart pounded in her chest as Rhaenyra stared at her, the rawness in her voice and expression making her throat tighten.
“You are,” Rhaenyra said again, quieter this time, her voice trembling but resolute. “You just are . And the fact that Daemon—one of my best friends—thought it was okay to sleep with you? I’ll never forgive him for that.”
Alicent’s hands twisted together, her voice soft and hesitant as she tried to find the right words. “I know it is still fresh but you can’t keep this anger bottled up forever. Please, I know you’re furious, but…”
Rhaenyra let out a bitter, humorless laugh, shaking her head as she leaned back against the couch. “Ali, he’s lucky I didn’t kill him last night,” she echoed, her tone sharp. ““He’s lucky he walked away at all. After what he did, he deserves a lot worse.”
Alicent stared at her, her chest tightening as unease began to creep in. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “What do you mean?” she asked carefully, though she already knew where this was going.
Rhaenyra shrugged, her tone cold but matter-of-fact. “Obviously I hit him..a few times.”
Alicent shook her head, her voice trembling as she struggled to process what she was hearing. “You can’t just…you can’t just let your alpha go out of control like that. That’s not how you handle this.”
Rhaenyra’s eyes narrowed slightly, her tone growing sharper. “You’re defending him now?”
“I’m not defending anyone,” Alicent said quickly, her voice breaking. “I just…how can you be so furious at him and not at me?”
Rhaenyra’s eyes narrowed slightly, her tone sharp. “Who said I wasn’t pissed at you?”
Alicent blinked, her breath catching as her gaze dropped. “Oh,” she murmured, her voice barely audible.
Rhaenyra sighed, dragging a hand down her face as she leaned back. “I mean..aren’t you furious at me too?” she asked, her voice quieter but tinged with frustration. “For Margaery?”
Alicent hesitated, her fingers twisting in her lap as she let out a shaky sigh. “Yeah,” she muttered softly, almost reluctant to admit it. “I am.”
Rhaenyra nodded, her jaw tightening as she looked off to the side. “So there it is,” she said quietly. “We’re both mad, and we’re both hurt. But it’s different for me, Alicent.” She paused, her voice trembling slightly as she continued. “We were broken up, so yeah, I’m angry and I’m heartbroken, but… Daemon’s supposed to be my friend. That’s not the same.”
Alicent’s shoulders sagged, and she nodded faintly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know.”
Rhaenyra glanced at her, the tension in her expression softening just slightly. “It’s not that I’m excusing what either of us did,” she added, her voice steadier now. “But he knew better. He should’ve known better…And honestly, the only thing I regret,” she said quietly, “is that I didn’t hit him harder.
“Gods, I…” Alicent started, her voice trembling as she suddenly stood. “I should go.” She glanced around the room, her hands wringing together as her words rushed out. “What am I even doing here? I slept with your best friend, then immediately had a panic attack and begged you to comfort me, and now you’re telling me you punched him and—” She stopped herself, her breath hitching as she shook her head. “I need to leave. I should’ve never dragged you into this. I’m so sorry.”
Rhaenyra reacted instantly, her hand wrapping gently but firmly around Alicent’s wrist as she stopped her mid-step. She pulled her down just enough to keep their eyes level, her gaze steady and unwavering. “I agree,” Rhaenyra said, her voice low but calm. “We need to stop talking about this shit. At least for today. But don’t leave.”
Alicent froze, her breath catching as she stared at her. “What?” she asked softly, her voice laced with surprise.
“Don’t leave,” Rhaenyra repeated, her grip loosening slightly but not letting go. Her eyes softened, her tone more vulnerable now. “Please.”
Alicent’s chest tightened as she searched Rhaenyra’s face, the weight of the moment pressing down on her. She hesitated, her lips trembling as she let out a shaky breath. Finally, she smiled sadly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Okay,” she said softly. “I won’t leave.”
Rhaenyra nodded, her shoulders relaxing slightly as she let go of Alicent’s wrist, her hand lingering for just a second longer than necessary before falling back to her side. For a moment, neither of them said anything, but the silence wasn’t as heavy as before. It was fragile, tentative—but for now, it was enough.