Until the very end
Chapter 23 - Until the very end
Dora knew many would peg her as a fool for taking Remus back, twice for that matter. But she knew, beneath the bookish professor, who always knew what to do, was a scared little boy, who’s life had been turned upside down when he was only four years old. Dora hated Greyback so much for what he did to Remus, she hated the fact that he had to go through painful transformations every month, although the Wolfsbane did help him keep his mind, it didn’t help much with the pain.
Even if now Dora was able to brew potions which helped him with his pain, and the exhaustion during transformations, the damage from all the years before was done. This was one of the only reasons she hated being so much younger than him. If they were the same age, she could have taken care of him from much earlier on, she was quite the whiz at potions, even if Snape would have rather been subjected to the Cruciatus curse instead of admitting that.
‘So, what made you come back?’ asked Dora in a casual voice after dinner one night.
They were in the sitting room, Dora was stretched out on the sofa, while Remus was preparing a report for the Order. They had agreed on sleeping separately for the time being. Granted she was happy Remus came back, Dora felt like she needed some space, the hurt from him leaving had yet to abate completely.
‘Harry...I offered to join him on the mission Albus left him. But he pointed out I was being a coward instead for leaving you, and our baby,’ answered Remus, ‘and I may have lost my temper and used a knockback jinx on him,’ finished Remus, sounding rather abashed.
‘What? Remus, why did you do that?’
‘I don’t know Dora, I guess I didn’t wanna hear the truth from an angry 17 year old. And he brought up James, and Sirius, which really got me thinking. They would have murdered me for doing what I did,’ finished Remus, burying his head in his hands.
‘Hey, it’s okay Remus, you came back, that’s what matters alright?’ said Dora, as she stroked his arm, ‘We don’t have to talk about this anymore,’
Remus made to kiss her, but she backed away.
‘Not yet, okay...I just- I just need some time...let’s just be co-parents for a bit’ she moved further away from him.
‘I’m sorry Dora. I’ll wait for you instead,’ he replied, feeling slightly hurt, but Remus knew this was nothing compared to the hurt he had caused her.
She bade him goodnight, and made her way to her bedroom. As they only had one bedroom, Remus would be putting up in the sitting room for the time being.
A fortnight after Remus moved back in, Dora received word from her mother saying that their father was expected at the ministry for his muggle-born hearing the following week. Dora knew this day was coming, and this meant she would have to send in her letter of resignation, and move out of their flat as soon as possible. Even though her absence at the ministry would be a blow to the Order, the Order members were very supportive of this.
Especially since Dora was bearing the child of a known werewolf who had declared loyalty to Dumbledore since the first Wizarding War, and they were both members of the Order. Remus and Dora decided to move to his cottage in Yorkshire. They still weren’t back together properly, and their sleeping arrangements would remain the same, although they kept this to themselves. The only other people who knew about Remus’ little trip were Harry, Ron and Hermione. However, seeing as they were on the run, their secret was safe.
They left the next morning, after Dora had sent in her letter of resignation. Thankfully Dora wasn’t the kind to splurge on unnecessary things, in fact she was quite the frugal type, although her appearance would suggest otherwise. Dora had a pretty decent pile of gold lying in her Gringotts vault. And Mad-Eye had left her all of his, and the money uncle Alphard had left Andromeda wasn’t depleted yet. They wouldn’t have to worry about finances for a while, and she had prepared a large supply of Wolfsbane, along with the other two potions for Remus’ Moon days, which could last at least a year. Albeit a little sad for leaving their little flat, Dora knew that wherever family was, there your home would also be.
They spent the next few days making Remus’ old cottage more habitable, some things they preferred doing the muggle-way, since they had loads of time on their hands anyway. They informed Andromeda, and the Order about their move, Molly was so kind as to send them a care package through their fireplace. She knew they wouldn’t have much time to prepare food the first few days after their move. After about a week, Dora and Remus were happy with the outcome, and decided they were done with refurbishments. Remus would double check their protective enchantments every night, the fact that the Death Eaters so quickly broke through them after Scrimgeur died still shook him to this day.
The Order collectively agreed against meeting in person until things cooled off a little. They would send patronuses whenever necessary, or talk through their fireplaces if there was anything which needed discussing. The twins and their old friend Lee Jordan decided to start their own radio show on the Wizarding Wireless. That way they could spread actual important news without being detected. The news of Harry and co breaking into the ministry in August was entirely hushed up, although Arthur and Kingsley found out soon enough.
Dora soon grew restless, unlike Remus who enjoyed spending his time poring over books over a cup of tea, Dora couldn’t have been more bored. She was used to being in the thick of things, hexing and jinxing baddies. The only way she managed her reports for the ministry, and the Order was through a quill she had which would dictate as she spoke. She would constantly challenge Remus to duels, but Remus would point blank refuse. It was only after she finally lost it and set his trousers on fire did Remus finally retaliate.
Dora felt alive again, this is what she wanted to do, she wouldn’t let her pregnancy stop her from doing what she was meant to do all along. In the end, Dora and Remus agreed to practice defensive magic every day for a couple of hours, although not on each other of course. Remus knew it wouldn’t do to get rusty when they were in the middle of a war, they could be called into battle without a moment’s notice, like in the battle of the Astronomy Tower, and the Department of Mysteries.
Dora knew she was a marked woman in the eyes of her aunt, she was determined not to let Bellatrix get the better of her again. The next time they met, Dora would be ready. Andromeda and Molly would visit on the weekends sometimes, Dora found this extremely helpful as they always knew what to do whenever Dora had an issue about her pregnancy. Although Professor Lupin had read all the pregnancy books he could get his hands on, he was not much help. There were some things that books just couldn’t help you with. Molly was so kind as to give Dora some of her old baby things too, including an old cot which would rock itself gently, and a few blankets to swaddle the little one, once they arrived.
Thankfully, Remus was an expert at swaddling the teddy bear they would practice on. Dora sometimes worried she would be a terrible mother, sure she was all determined to take care of this baby all by herself when Remus left, but now as her belly continued to swell as the weeks went past, it all became more and more real. Remus would be an excellent father, Dora knew that, even if he didn’t know it at first but what about her? What if I drop the little one, I’m always dead clumsy, she thought to herself. What if she tripped over something while carrying the little one? Her mind flitted back to the troll-leg umbrella back in Grimmauld Place.
Dora’s fear finally got the better of her one night after she tripped over the little teddy bear Molly had given them in her bedroom while getting out of bed. Thankfully she fell backward, back onto the bed. Although a minor incident, Dora couldn’t help but burst into loud uncontrollable sobs. Remus jumped out of bed and bolted to Dora’s bedroom with his wand aloft as he made his way to her room, the fear on his face unmistakable.
‘Dora, love?’ he whispered, ‘Is everything okay?’ as he put his arm around her.
‘I’m-I’m gonna be a h-h-h-horrible mother,’ Dora wailed, ‘I just tripped over teddy, what if our baby got hurt? I can’t even take care of them when they’re inside me, what’s gonna happen once they’re actually here?’ she cried.
‘Sweetheart,’ said Remus as he picked teddy off the ground, ‘our baby’s not due for months, and this teddy bear wasn’t supposed to be on the ground anyway. We’ll just be more careful from now on,’
‘I trip on my own two feet sometimes, Remus, I’m useless. How did I ever think I could have raised this baby without you? I can’t even swaddle teddy to save my life,’ continued Dora through muffled sobs.
‘Don’t say that sweetheart, I was a complete and utter fool for leaving you, but I assure you, I’ll be with you, and our baby, and all the babies we may have in the future, until the very end,’ said Remus in a consoling voice. ‘Besides, we have a long way to go before our baby arrives, we’ve got plenty of time,’
‘I’m not ready for this Remus, I’m still really a kid myself, how am I gonna take care of my own kid, especially when they’re practically helpless for the first few years,’ she had stopped sobbing now, but tears were still streaming down her face.
‘Dora, you’re forgetting I’m here, and I’ll give it my all in taking care of our children, and you too. I may not know everything, but we’ll figure it out together. Besides, we’ve got your parents, Molly, and Arthur too. You saw how pleased they were when we broke to news to them,’
Dora let out a deep sigh. ‘You’re right, I’m just being silly. I hope this mess is over once this little one is born. Then dad can finally come back home,’
‘Go to sleep love, I’ll stay until you fall asleep,’ he placed a kiss on her forehead.
‘Remus..?’ she leaned against his shoulder
‘Yes, Dora,’
‘Will you stay with me?’
‘Of course...I’ll stay the night,’ Remus answered as he stroked her blue hair
‘I don’t just mean tonight…’ she summoned the box containing the necklace and the two rings and stuffed it into his hands rather awkwardly.
Dora didn’t have to say anything else, he knew what the box contained, and more importantly what this meant. Without another word, Remus slipped both the rings back on, and fastened the necklace around her neck. Once he was done, Dora kissed him. She kissed him like there was no tomorrow, pushing him down onto bed as she climbed on top of him. Although taken by surprise, Remus responded, just as passionately. In a matter of minutes, their clothes lay discarded in a pile on the ground. The cool September air didn’t stop them as they remained warm in each other’s embrace as they made love. It felt so right, Remus knew this is where he belonged, and this is where he wanted to be, for the rest of his life. Dora never wanted to spend another night away from her husband, the love of her life. Yes he had hurt her in the past, but he came back, he always did.