Alone at last
Chapter 4 - Alone at last
Dora found herself looking forward to Order meetings, as did Remus. They both turned to Sirius when they each needed information about the other, but were too embarrassed to ask personally. Sirius obliged, although he had a certain knowing look on his face which made Dora wonder if he had found out about her not so little crush. She hoped Sirius wouldn't have conveyed his suspicions to Remus, not yet at least. But since Remus didn't treat her any differently, she supposed her secret was safe, for now. Remus noted the smug look on Sirius' face whenever he asked about Dora, and he even wore that look whenever he noticed both of them close together, be it during meetings, or during dinner.
But Remus didn't care, he was glad to be in close proximity to Dora whenever he could. And the fact that she didn't shudder at his touch made his heart race, in fact she seemed to touch his arm a lot, not that he didn't secretly enjoy them. Sometimes he wondered if this beautiful, young auror returned his feelings, as she always lit up at the sight of him. But he thought it would be ridiculous to even hope for as he was too old, too poor, and too dangerous for her. Nonetheless he still enjoyed being in her presence.
Even though the news Severus brought about Voldemort trying to get his hands on a prophecy meant that members of the Order would now have to take turns in overnight guard duty, Remus' heart leapt when he heard they would be doing it in pairs. He was over the moon, so to speak, when he found out he and Dora would be partnered up next week. Even Dora secretly rejoiced, although she maintained a straight face when Mad-Eye first announced it. Remus noticed a faint blush form across her cheeks when he caught her eye.
On the day of their turn, Dora found her insides squirming, this would be her first time alone with Remus. Although they did have some private moments back at headquarters, company was always a stone's throw away, and they weren't under the same invisibility cloak with their bodies so close to each other. Those scenarios at headquarters were completely innocent, be it having a cuppa while arguing about whether The Beatles or Bee Gees were superior, or talking about their Hogwarts days. As Remus' mother was a muggle, and Dora's father muggle-born, they had a lot of common interests which the rest of the wizarding world couldn't relate to. It was nice to have their own little thing.
Dora wondered if Remus would be able to hear her heart racing inside her chest. But, she reminded herself, there's a war to win, no time to worry about crushes. Dora decided to freshen up a little before going down to the department of mysteries, where she found Remus already there waiting for her. She couldn't help but smile, and it was all she could do to stop herself from running towards, and throwing her arms around his neck. Remus' heart lifted as he saw her, she looked a little tired, but her face lit up when she set eyes on him. It was things like this which made Remus wonder if she felt the same way about him.
‘Wotchcer Remus. Have you been waiting long?’ asked Dora.
‘Hello Tonks, no I just got here a few minutes ago, it would be rude to keep a lady waiting’ replied Remus
‘Is there anyone else we're expecting? I was looking forward to having you to myself tonight’ said Dora with a mischievous grin.
Remus laughed, although his stomach gave a jolt. Quit getting my hopes up woman, you've no idea of the things I wanna do with you if we ever got the chance, he thought to himself.
‘I've got Mad-Eye's spare cloak with me. Arthur suggested against disillusionment charms as they can be detected in the ministry. Oh, and I made sandwiches in case you were hungry.’
‘You're such a sweetheart Remus, what would I do without you,’ replied Dora as she hugged Remus.
Although taken by surprise, Remus returned the hug. He'd have to thank Mad-Eye for pairing them up somehow. Dora didn't know what came over her which caused the sudden surge in bravery, but was very happy to find Remus' arms around her. They broke apart after a few moments, and then proceeded to settle themselves under the cloak. Dora cast a few silencing charms too, just in case.
It was rather cold in the bowels of the ministry, although they could have just casted warming charms, they were glad for an excuse to snuggle up against each other under the cloak. Under normal circumstances, Dora would have been cursing the department of Magical Maintenance, with every single swear word under the sun, today however, she was quite thankful for their choice of weather. Maybe I'll leave them a bunch of cauldron cakes next week, she thought to herself. Dora wasn’t alone in secretly rejoicing for the otherwise unpleasant weather, Remus too was secretly happy with how things turned out.
‘It's a bit chilly here isn't it. Sturgis said it would be, but I didn't expect it to be this cold’, remarked Remus nonchalantly.
‘Yeah is it, and silly me didn't think of wearing my jacket today’, replied Dora with a small smile.
Remus made to put his arm around her, hoping she wouldn't back away. He felt like a teenager again, although he never had a girlfriend, or even fallen in love during his younger days. He was too preoccupied with his furry little problem, and the fact that he spent almost every waking moment with the Marauders didn't leave much time for girls. Not that it bothered him anyway, Remus was perfectly happy spending time with his best friends, which he soon came to regard as brothers. Except now Peter was disowned since he betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort, and framed Sirius for the crime.
‘Come closer, you'll find that werewolves can be really warm and fuzzy, even when it isn't the full moon’,
Remus answered, but he immediately regretted it. What if she didn't like werewolves, and was only nice to him because of the Order business? They were getting along so well until now, but what if his remark just reminded her of the monster he truly was.
But to his surprise, she did come closer, and she even rested her head on his shoulder. Remus sighed in relief, he was always worried she would come to her senses and start seeing him for the beast he truly was. Even though he wouldn't let himself hope for a romantic relationship with her, the idea of simply being her friend was enough to bring joy into his life. At first, Remus was simply amused by her antics, she always seemed to be knocking something or another over, and she had a wacky sense of humour which never failed to put a smile on his face. Slowly but surely, Remus started falling for the young witch.
‘You weren't kidding, it must be nice to have you to cuddle with at night’, said Dora as she stifled a yawn.
‘Oh Merlin, did I just say that out loud? I'm so sorry Remus, that was so inappropriate’, she blurted out, ‘Dora you nitwit,’ she chided herself.
Remus chuckled, it was things like this about her which never failed to put a smile on his face.
‘It's alright Tonks. Although that is the first time I'm hearing something like that.’ replied Remus, still smiling.
‘Really?’ asked Dora, her eyebrows shot up, ‘Haven't you had a girlfriend, or girlfriends before? I always thought girls would be throwing themselves at you, especially at school’, asked Dora, slightly surprised.
‘No, that was Sirius and James's department...besides I don't think girls would swoon at the sight of a teenage werewolf’, answered Remus with a slightly bitter note.
‘I would, you're really sweet, and caring. And you've got those gorgeous eyes and smile. I would have loved to snog you in the restricted section of the library’, answered Dora, her head still lying on his shoulder, ‘and you’re the nerdy bookish type, which I find absolutely charming,’
‘Well we missed our chance then, since we were never at school together, and I'm way too old for you now,’ replied Remus, her compliments filled his stomach with butterflies.
‘Why not? We're both adults here Remus. And not once have you asked me to change my appearance to something you prefer, which is a first from any guy which I've ever fancied’, said a slightly annoyed Dora.
‘I may be warm and fuzzy when it's not the full moon Tonks, but you're forgetting I turn into a fully fledged monster every month. And the fact that I could never get decent work because of what I am. Not to forget the stigma surrounding my affliction, and the stigma of simply being associated with someone with my affliction’, said Remus, slightly sadly.
‘I'd rather be associated with you than anyone else on this planet Remus John Lupin, and in time I hope you'll be able to see yourself as I do’, answered Tonks fiercely, this time looking him directly in the eye.
Remus smiled as he brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, his fingers brushing her cheek slightly. He had this mad urge to kiss her then and there, but thought the better of it. Did she just say she fancied him? Or was it just an idle remark about her former flames. Dora turned away, she could feel her heart pounding as a sudden rage swept over her. It was then she realised something: I'm in love with Remus Lupin. Remus let her words sink it, and then he knew this beautiful, young witch fancied him back. His heart did a couple of somersaults, and he was simply elated.
They just sat there in silence, whether it was minutes or hours, Dora had no clue. She felt a pang of regret after her confession. Did she come on too strong? Tact was never her forte. What if she ruined things between them, and what if she didn't even want to be her friend anymore. But she noticed he didn't remove his arm from around her after her recent outburst. She then mustered all her courage before saying.
‘I'm sorry for shooting my mouth Remus...and I hope we could just forget what I said, although I meant every word of it. Now's not the time for things like that, and I hope you wouldn't think less of me’, she bit her lip as she waited for his reply.
‘Don't be Tonks, I'm sorry too, I've never had this kind of...attention from someone before, especially not someone as beautiful as you are...Let's just focus on the Order, nothing has to change, we'll be like we always were. Deal?’
‘Deal,’ Answered Dora with relief.
At the end of their shift, they both disapparated back to headquarters to deliver their report, although there was nothing to report. Unless you count Dora somewhat confessing her love for Remus, and Remus not outright rejecting her, nor reciprocating the sentiment, but he did call her beautiful, indirectly, that counts for something, right?
Over the next few meetings, Remus and Dora had gone back to their usual warm relationship, the friendly banter over numerous cups of tea had resumed, along with a few arguments about Mars or Milkybar being the yummier chocolate, and other similar topics. The awkward conversation at the department of mysteries may have never happened at all much to both their relief. Remus wasn’t the only one Dora had forged a warm friendship with, she found herself spending a lot of time with Hermione and Ginny. All three of them never had sisters, so they relished in each other’s company.