Querencia

Namjoon’s grip on his broomstick is tight but not stiff. He knows there are thousands of eyes staring at him right now, and that he can’t do anything out of the ordinary, especially when McGonagall is among the audience. He used to hate this much attention since most of the attention he received was malicious, but it doesn't bother him much now.

There are only two reasons why Namjoon is the Keeper for his team. One: no one wants to work with Namjoon, so he can’t be a Beater or a Chaser. Two: Namjoon’s one of the fastest and most agile fliers in Slytherin, but he’s the son of Death Eaters. We can’t let him have the glory.

Namjoon loves his position, actually. He’d like to prove that he’s a defender of his dignity and truth, not a hunter for fame. Besides, their Seeker is really talented, so Namjoon really has no reason to complain.

Namjoon’s a good flier. A very good one, in fact. He’s been on the broom since he can remember, and though most of his games end up having him fallen from the broom, no one can deny his skill.

He currently has his eyes on every corner of the field. The Slytherin Seeker, a very pale boy with platinum hair, is scanning the field like a hawk. The young Gryffindor Seeker is on the other side of the field trying his luck, but keeps glancing at the Slytherin Seeker every ten seconds. The fast-moving swarm of Chasers from both teams are fighting for the Quaffle, and it looks like the Gryffindors are taking advantage. The Beaters are beating Bludgers at each other, seemingly having a battle of their own. The Slytherin captain, a Chaser, is somewhere in that swarm of people, and the Gryffindor captain is absent (words say he got sick). The makeshift captain is a Beater.

A Gryffindor shoots a Quaffle at the farthest hoop, but Namjoon is faster. He knocks the Quaffle away with the tail of his broom and sends it to a Slytherin Chaser.

As expected, no one cheers for his save. But Namjoon’s smiling faintly at himself, mentally giving himself a pat on the shoulder.

Gryffindor Chasers are soaked in luck today. They somehow get their hands on the Quaffle a lot more than the Slytherins, but that doesn’t matter. Namjoon saves most of the scoring attempts anyway. And it’s certainly pissing the Gryffindors off.

Most people think Slytherins are the only ones that play dirty since they’re the ambitious and manipulative ones. But that’s a big mistake. Ravenclaws play dirty if it’s the smartest way to win. Hufflepuffs play dirty if they feel like it’s their duty to do it. Gryffindors play dirty if it’s the first thought that flashes over their minds.

Playing dirty is what the makeshift Gryffindor Captain’s probably telling his team to do right now. He’s shouting something, and though Namjoon can’t hear him from the distance, the Gryffindors simultaneously look over at Namjoon and the Slytherin Seeker, which gives away their strategy. Namjoon glances at the Slytherin Seeker, who’s currently glaring at the Gryffindors, and assumes that he knows that he’s in danger too.

The platinum-haired Seeker then flies smoothly towards Namjoon, and halts a few feet beside him. Namjoon gulps; he’s been flying for his team for five years, and the situation never got so weird. No one’s ever flown over to him to talk.

“They’re going to try to knock us off the brooms,” The Seeker says with a raspy and low voice. Namjoon glances over at the Seeker, who stares back with feline eyes that are half-covered by his platinum bangs. “And that’s not gonna happen.”

“Ideally speaking.” Namjoon adds unhelpfully. You can’t blame him; last time he’s ever had a friendly conversation with anyone was with Taehyung, and that one was the first one in five years.

Platinum narrows his eyes. “Of course.” He says after a few moments of silence. “I thought I saw the damn Snitch somewhere around here. I’m just gonna fly around and Jeon will follow me here like the rookie he is. The Gryffindors won’t dare to risk hitting their baby.”

“Jeon?” The name sounds oddly familiar to Namjoon.

Platinum adjusts his grip on his broom. “The Gryffindor Seeker. Don’t you pay attention to people?”

“They don’t pay attention to me,” Namjoon mutters under his breath. It’s not meant to be heard, but the Seeker hears it anyway.

“Lying low has its advantages.” The Seeker mumbles before tilting his body sideways and flying away, leaving Namjoon alone again.

Namjoon takes a shuddering breath and sees most of the Gryffindor players, except for the Keeper, are flying towards this side of the half-line in full speed. The Gryffindor Seeker, Jeon, hovers twenty feet above Namjoon and keeps his eyes trained on Platinum, just as Platinum predicted. The Gryffindor Chasers and Beaters are flying towards the hoops at full speed.

Namjoon tenses his muscles and braces for impact. He saves another attempt to score and throws the Quaffle as far away from himself as possible in an attempt to direct the attention away from himself and Platinum.

Platinum is flying upwards, gaining altitude quickly. He glances over his shoulder, down at Namjoon, and gives him a grave nod. Platinum disappears into the clouds. Jeon and a Gryffindor beater follows.

Platinum is trying to put distance between the Gryffindors so that their focus won’t be on himself or Namjoon alone. And Namjoon feels warmth filling his heart as the overwhelming thankfulness brings a faint smile to his face.

A Gryffindor Chaser tries to score and Namjoon fails to save it. The crowd rooting for Gryffindor screams and cheers. The two teams are currently stuck in a tie, and it’s clear to everyone that whoever catches the Snitch wins.

Just when Namjoon starts suspecting that Platinum and Jeon have frozen to death, Platinum dives from the clouds so fast he should’ve broken his eardrums, with Jeon following closely behind. The Beater who followed them up is nowhere to be seen. Right in front of Platinum, a tiny flash of gold tries desperately to get the two Seekers off his tail.

Platinum flies just above the fans, his feet almost grazing their little Gryffindor and Slytherin flags, his hand outstretched. He’s not slowing down one bit. His green robe and platinum hair fly and flap in the wind gracefully. He shoots through the air like a green-and-silver bullet.

Jeon is close behind, looking for any flaw Platinum shows and any way to get closer to the Snitch. His red robe flies behind him, sometimes blocking Platinum’s green one. The crowd is beyond crazy; they’re screaming at the top of their lungs and waving their little flags like crazy. They’re chanting the Seekers’ names: Jeon, and what sounds like Min.

Platinum was right; Namjoon doesn’t pay attention to people. He doesn’t even know his own team’s Seeker’s name.

Jeon suddenly spares one single glance towards Namjoon, and Namjoon’s gaze moves from Platinum to Jeon. Jeon is moving fast in the air several yards away, but Namjoon catches his eyes. They are the color of dripping honey, the twilight sky, the iced black tea. They are bright and shining like morning dews. Namjoon is so mesmerized with those eyes he stops to watch, and there’s suddenly a deadly white glint, a hint of wildness flashing inside them. Namjoon watches as the whiteness spreads through the brown irises like milk spreading across a cup of steaming latte.

Namjoon forgets that this is the worst moment to zone out. He is so frozen in wonder that he doesn’t realize that Jeon didn’t just glance over to look at Namjoon. Jeon glanced over to warn Namjoon.

Namjoon feels the pain before he realizes his big mistake.

Burning pain sears through his cheeks and chin and head. He hears a distinct crack, and he’s screaming. His vision swims from the tears that burst out of his eyes. Everything is suddenly too bright to stare directly at, and he’s suddenly falling. He tumbles over his broom and his heartbeat increases rapidly.

Then his vision whitens from the corners of his sight, closing off at a single red zooming in. He sees a face closing in, and a hand outstretched as if trying to pull him up. Then everything becomes too bright for Namjoon to see anything.

When Namjoon wakes up, everything’s completely black.

He panics; is he blind? He blinks rapidly and tries to catch any source of light. On his right, something moves and makes a slight shifting sound.

Namjoon jumps on his bed. It’s not the one in his chamber. Namjoon’s gone to the Hospital Wing frequent enough to know that he’s there just by touching the duvet’s fabric. But even in the darkest nights, the Hospital Wing is never this dark.

He hears a yawn, and a soft “Lumos.” A soft glow blooms at the tip of a wand, lighting up a muscular chest of someone, and two red eyes appear in the dark. They’re staring straight at Namjoon.

Namjoon stifles a scream into his fist and coldness runs up his spine. His previously semi-logical mind is immediately scrambled.

The person widens his red eyes a little and lifts his wand so that the Lumos is right beside his comely face and slightly parted lips. Namjoon remembers the face. It’s the face that dived towards him just before he passed out. It’s Jeon.

(What happened to those honey brown eyes??)

Namjoon opens his mouth to say something, but his voice gets stuck in his throat for two reasons. The first one, obviously, is because he’s been out for a long time (judging from his stiff limbs and heavy eyelids, it’s probably been days) and therefore has a dry throat. The second one is because he sees some things other than red eyes that are odd about Jeon.

Jeon has crescent cuts on his throat about the size of fingernails. Not too deep to be alarming, but too fresh to be suspicious. People don’t get their necks hurt when playing Quidditch, nor do they get clawed by fingernails. And after these days, the wounds shouldn’t look this new, still red with unshed blood.

Then Namjoon sees movement behind and around Jeon. Those are shadows, darker than the natural darkness surrounding them. And those shadows are moving around like layers and layers of the finest silk, flowing around like calm water. Jeon’s feet are covered in them, but the boy doesn’t seem to mind.

“What . . .” . . . the hell are those things?” His throat only allows himself to say this much.

Jeon looks startled by Namjoon. His eyes widen comically and he blushes cutely. “Um.” He replies.

Namjoon clears his throat and pushes himself up with his elbows. His arms shake a little at the work, and Jeon looks ready to dive in to help him up, but he seems to hesitate because he retracts his hands immediately after he reaches out. Is this kid dumb or just shy? “What are those things?” Namjoon says hoarsely and points at the shadows.

The shadows seem to understand Namjoon, because the next second they’re stirring and swirling a little, seemingly uncomfortable.

Jeon glances down at his feet, at the shadows, and shrugs a little. “Oh, that.” He says quietly, but doesn’t elaborate, as if it’s completely normal to have moving shadows swirling around him.

Then it strikes Namjoon like a lightning. The bashfulness. The Gryffindor robe. The blush. The quiet voice. The big eyes. The last name, Jeon.

“Jungkook Jeon,” Namjoon says out loud, and Jeon’s eyes widen again. From the corner of his eyes, he can see the shadows agitated again. “Jungkook Jeon, third year. Really cute and really shy before you get to know him, and very annoying once you get to know him.”

Jungkook’s mouth hangs open a little, but no sound comes out. Namjoon figures that he’s going to be the only one breaking the silence, so he continues: “I met your friend Taehyung the other day. That was how he described you.”

Jungkook smiles down at the floor. “Taehyung’s the annoying one,” He says quietly. “Not me.”

Namjoon smiles a little, then winces. Jungkook is quick to rush over, nearly dropping his brightened wand. “No, no, no, I’m okay.” Namjoon assures, and his hand goes to his jaw. Instead of his own flesh, he feels bandages. It doesn’t hurt anymore.

“The Bludger hit you. Broke your jaw. You fell.” Jungkook says quietly, concern dripping from his voice. He hands over a small glass of water with a straw from out of nowhere, and Namjoon gratefully takes it. His throat moistens immediately and Namjoon sighs in content.

Namjoon’s still in his Quidditch uniform, and fortunately, he still remembers what happened. He didn’t see the Bludger coming, but it makes sense.

“Right before that, you tried to warn me.” Namjoon recalls, and Jungkook’s face reddens again, setting the glass on a bedside table. “When I fell, you caught me.” He frowns again. “Did you give up the Snitch for me?”

Jungkook lowers his head. “I couldn’t go after the Snitch knowing I could’ve done something to save you.”

“Thank you, really,” It’s probably nothing personal that Jungkook saved him, Namjoon thinks. Just part of what makes a Gryffindor a Gryffindor: bravery. Jungkook was just being brave. He pauses his thinking, then asks: “what about your neck?”

Jungkook’s hand immediately flies to his neck. “I, uh, scratched myself. Accidentally.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, and Jungkook looks defeated. “I wasn’t lying. I didn’t mean to scratch myself. But I did.”

Namjoon seriously thinks he’s going to leave right this instant, and he probably would if he knew he wouldn’t fall on his face the moment he stands up. Jungkook looks like he’s about to share his darkest secret, and Namjoon’s not ready. He’s literally only seen Jungkook twice. “Woah, no offense, but we just met.”

Jungkook tilts his head like he’s genuinely confused. “Taehyung hyung said you’re trustworthy,” He says thoughtfully, and though his eyes are still round and innocent, there’s a sharpness in them. “Are you not?”

“I am, but-”

“I know who you are,” Jungkook says seriously. “It’s only fair you know who I am too, if we’re going to do this.”

“Do what?”

Jungkook looks really confused right now. “You know, long-term friendship? Platonic soulmates? Family not by blood, but by love?”

Namjoon can’t believe his ears. “I didn’t sign up for this,” Namjoon says quietly.

Jungkook shrugs. “You did the moment you met Taehyung hyung. Jin hyung told me so. It’s a long road ahead, and I want this relationship to be crystal clear. No secrets.”

Namjoon considers this for a moment. He’s not ready to share everything about himself to anyone he just met, no matter how prophetic this person seems (what’s with this Jin hyung, anyway?). He hates it that these people, including Taehyung and Jungkook, whoever they are, seem to know exactly what’s going on, while Namjoon’s so clueless. But it seems like he has no choice but to comply.

Jungkook raises his hand, and the shadows, as if listening to his command, rise with his hand, forming a swirling pillar of darkness. Jungkook moves his fingers a little, and the shadows morph into the shape of the hand, and the shadow fingers move exactly how Jungkook’s move, like a dark mirror.

Namjoon’s mouth opens in shock. What the fuck was that?

“Lumos Maxima,” Jungkook mutters, and the tip of his wand brightens even more, enough to light the entire Hospital Wing. Namjoon is even more shocked to find that there are seas of these shadows creeping along walls and climbing on vacant hospital beds peacefully. That explains the unnatural darkness.

“What are those?” Namjoon stares back at Jungkook.

“Those things . . . they’re a part of me. A parasite. It’s called the Obscurus.” Jungkook mutters, his eyes darkening with the familiar shadow

Namjoon knows about the Obscurus. It’s a dark spirit that lives in young witches and wizards who are oppressed because of their magic. They typically kill the host before they reach ten. Jungkook, right in front of him, is thirteen, strong, and in perfect control of the parasite, as if Jungkook’s born with it. And an Obscurial, or the host of the Obscurus, isn’t supposed to be able to manipulate shadow.

“I should be dead when I was eleven,” Jungkook says quietly. “But I wasn't. Instead of having it slowly killing me, I managed to take control. I was expelled from Durmstrang because of an outburst. It’s always fighting to regain control, and sometimes it succeeds.” Jungkook points at his neck.

“But you’re winning, right?” Namjoon asks quizzically.

Jungkook looks at Namjoon sadly. Suddenly he looks so much older than a little kid. “Not completely. If I won, I would’ve taken all of it back.” Namjoon stares as Jungkook stretches out a hand, and the Obscurus flows slowly and sinks into Jungkook’s skin. But then it retracts, as if resisting Jungkook’s command. Jungkook sighs.

“What . . . okay,” Namjoon says, and swings his legs to the floor to face Jungkook. “I know a few things about the Obscurus, and tell me if I’m wrong. Tell me to stop when it gets too sensitive too, okay?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Sure.”

“Obscurials are abused because of their magic.” Namjoon feels a little bad for pushing Jungkook like this, but Jungkook said it himself: if they want an honest relationship, they need to know more than just who they are.

Jungkook is silent, but doesn’t correct Namjoon. Namjoon searches his eyes for any sign of discomfort, but Jungkook nods a little to tell him to go on.

“Obscurials typically have white eyes instead of red glowy ones.”

“Oh, no,” Jungkook laughs a little, and Namjoon wants to smile at the sweet sound. “That’s from the bunny.”

“The bunny?” Namjoon isn’t even surprised anymore.

“I’m an unregistered bunny Animagus. Bunny eyes glow red in the dark.”

Just how many of these people are unregistered Animagi? He stares at Jungkook’s hair and imagine bunny ears sprouting out of them.

“And they lose control when feeling extreme anger, sadness, grief, or hate.” Namjoon changes direction, but suddenly has a bad feeling that this conversation is going to be a lot darker.

Jungkook remains silent.

“Jungkookie . . . can I call you Jungkookie?”

Jungkook smiles a little. It’s by far the biggest smile Namjoon’s ever seen on him. “That’s how my friends call me.”

“What triggered the outburst just now, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook bites his lower lip. “I may or may not have gotten into a fight with your team’s Beaters who called you useless.”

Namjoon stares. This kid got into a fight to defend him?

Jungkook must’ve taken the stare the wrong way. He now looks like a child about to be scolded by a parent. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be that reckless. I just made you feel worse, didn’t I?”

“Did you win?” Namjoon asks instead.

Jungkook looks up so quickly Namjoon’s sure he’s going to snap his neck. Then the grin that stretches from Jungkook’s ear to ear brings a dimpled smile to Namjoon’s face as well. “I did! They were sooo scared!”

Namjoon reaches out his hand to ruffle the kid’s soft brown hair. “Good job. And it does feel good to be reckless once in a while, right?”

“Yeah!”

First time Namjoon was reckless, he got to meet Taehyung. Second time Namjoon was reckless, he got to meet Jungkook. Maybe he should consider being more reckless later. Namjoon smiles widely as he watches Jungkook grinning toothily and rambling endlessly about how he beat those Slytherin asses.

“Hey, Jungkook?”

“Hmm?”

“Look. You’ve won.”

Jungkook follows Namjoon’s gaze and gapes as the Obscurus shrinks, flowing back to Jungkook and disappearing under his skin. The stars outside shine through the windows again, and Jungkook flicks his wand to extinguish the Lumos.

“Jin hyung told me I’d meet someone who would help me win my sciamachy. I was literally fighting with my own shadow, and you helped me win the battle. Thank you, Namjoon hyung.” Jungkook says, smiling widely now.

“I thank you, Jungkookie. Thanks for saving my life.” Namjoon says sincerely. It’s somehow a lot easier to say thank you to Jungkook than to Taehyung. “Now off you go, new friend. You don’t want to be caught sneaking out this late.”

“For you, it’s worth it.” Jungkook says, and Namjoon has no idea if he means it or if he’s just teasing him. But before Namjoon can say anything more, Jungkook slides away, as swift and soundless as the shadow living inside him.

Again with the lack of goodbye.

Getting hit by a Bludger was worth it too, Namjoon thinks happily as he lies back against the hospital bed. Because I got to know you.