MIA'S POV
3:00 A.M.
I lay flat on my bed, numbness creeping through my veins. Nothing had felt right for days now. Everything felt like a hollow shell. I tried to fight it, but it seemed like everything was slipping away, scattered on the floor, shattered into a million pieces, impossible to fix.
The room was dark, as if the night had completely swallowed it. The breeze was cold and dry, and the only thing I could feel was the smoke from my pod, its smell lingering in every corner, intoxicating my lungs. The nicotine buzzed in my head, my emotions escaping with every puff I breathed out.
Suddenly, my phone lit up, illuminating half the room. The sound of the notification echoed, like a pin dropping in an empty hall.
Should I pick it up? Is it even worth it? Would it change anything?
Curiosity got the better of me. With a heavy head, I blindly reached for my phone on the bedside table, knocking a few small things over in the process. Finally, I got it.
I held the phone above my face and clicked the power button. The brightness was harsh, blinding me for a second before I quickly dimmed it, searching for the notification. And there it was—the only hope I had in this cruel life. It didn’t make me smile, but it brought a strange sense of relief. But was it real? Could this be—
Meranne.
A familiar warmth washed over me. The only person I ever loved, and still love.
Separated by beliefs.
“Call?” One word that could change everything, but was it real?
I stared at the message for a couple of minutes before dialing her number, putting it on speaker. The ringing mixed with my heavy breathing.
"Mer, hi," I greeted when the line picked up.
"Bat gising ka pa?" I asked, concerned. It was alreay pretty late.
“Love?” Her voice was soft, almost pleading. I was taken aback. It had been a while since I’d heard from her, a while since we were pulled apart. A while since I’d heard her call me love. Hearing it again felt... right. Like everything finally clicked into place.
"Yes? Are you alright, my love?" Concern thickened my voice.
“I need you,” she said, her voice shaky, as if she was out of breath.
“But Mer—”
“I need you.” Just those three words, and I jolted upright, despite my body feeling like it was falling apart.
“What do you mean?”
“I need you, Mia, please,” she whispered, and then silence.
“It’s been a while. I’ve missed you so much. I don’t know how I’ve survived. I just wanna see you again, to be held by you again. Screw it if what we have is a sin. I’d rather be a willing sinner if it means having you, Mia, please,” she sobbed, the words rushing out between tears.
“Where are you right now?”
“The usual spot. Our spot.”
I rushed. Threw on some clothes, expertly slipped out my bedroom window, and grabbed my skateboard. I kicked off hard, the anticipation of seeing her again, like a drug shooting adrenaline through me. The breeze felt like electricity against my skin. The thought of her reigniting my dying world.
I stopped in front of the field, where a lone tree stood in the distance, with our little treehouse nestled on its branches. It was our sanctuary, a place I'll always cherish. That tree had witnessed our love, a silent testimony to how true it was.
(flashback)
“I like you, Meranne. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but you... you just fit so perfectl—” I was cut off when we tumbled down to the grass, her landing on top of me, a huge grin on her angelic face followed by giggles.
“Oh, you don’t know how happy you’ve made my heart, my Mia. I thought it was just me,” she said, staring deep into me.
“What do you mean?”
“I like you too, silly.”
...
“Happy first anniversary, my love.”
“AHHHH!!! HAPPY SECOND ANNIVERSARY, LOVIE!”
“HAPPY THIRD, LANGGA!!!”
"HAPPYY FOURTH BOO!!! I LOVE YOU SO!!"
“HAPPY FIFTH ANNIVERSARY, MY PERSON, MY LOVE, MY HOME.”
I walked through the field, the sun barely peeking over the horizon, casting only the faintest light. I navigated my way to the treehouse, my head heavy, breathing labored, sweat trickling down my temple.
“Mer?? Love??” I called, now standing at the base of the tree. I looked up, but no one was there.
“Love?” I called again, my voice echoing through the quiet field.
“Mia?” Her voice. Sweet, like a melody. She was walking towards me. She looked beautiful in her favorite floral dress, the colors vibrant against her skin, the fabric flowing with the wind. Her smile was radiant, but her eyes... they were different. I missed the spark they used to have. God, I missed her so much.
(flashback)
We were lying under the tree, her head resting on my arm like it belonged there. The world felt far away as we chatted about anything and everything, our laughter weaving through the air like music, soft and perfect. I pulled her a little closer, my arm draped around her waist, and nestled into the curve of her neck, breathing her in. She smelled like comfort, like home.
“Ano yan, hmm?” she asked, her voice sweet but teasing, sending a soft flutter through me.
“Nothing,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper as I looked at her. God, she was breathtaking. The sunlight danced on her face, casting a warm, golden glow on her skin, making her look almost otherworldly—like an angel that had fallen right into my arms.
I couldn’t help myself. Gently, I brushed the stray hairs away from her face, tucking them behind her ear. My fingers lingered as I cupped her cheek, tracing the lines of her face as if I could memorize every little detail—the tiny freckles, the soft curve of her lips, the way her skin felt under my fingertips. My hand slid down to the back of her neck, pulling her in, and she closed her eyes, already knowing what was coming. I smiled softly, my heart racing in sync with hers, and for a moment, everything else disappeared. It was just us.
When our lips met, it was like the world stopped turning. The kiss was slow, gentle, like petals falling in a breeze, delicate and perfect. Time seemed to stretch, bending to our own quiet rhythm, as if the universe itself knew we belonged together in that moment. Every beat of our hearts felt like a promise—one I knew I’d keep forever.
“MERANNE!!”
“MIA!!” A scream pierced the air, coming from just a few feet away. We quickly let go of each other, straightening ourselves, but it was too late.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!” Our parents had arrived. It felt like we had been doused in cold water. I couldn’t speak, but I wasn’t scared for myself—I was scared for Mer. Our parents were deeply religious, but hers… hers were on another level. I didn’t know what they might do to us, but I’d bear anything for her.
Their faces were a mix of emotions—shock, anger, but most of all, disappointment. Still, I didn’t feel much about it. But when I saw the fear in Mer's eyes, that’s when everything started to crumble.
“Mer, I can’t believe you! You, of all people! You know this is a sin, you know that being with someone of the same gender will send you straight to hell! You know this is wrong!” Her mom started lashing out.
“And you, young lady!” She turned to me, her eyes burning with anger.
“How dare you tempt my sweet daughter, dragging her into this monstrosity! This lie! This—”
“Ma, enough,” Mer finally spoke, her voice steady but her eyes filled with tears. I was shocked that she found the courage to speak up. Tears were brimming at the corners of her eyes, just one blink away from falling, and it hurt me so much to see her like that.
“Don’t you dare blame her,” Mer continued, her voice cracking. “She has nothing to do with this. This isn’t something you can point a finger at. I chose this. I chose her. I love her. And don’t you ever call what we have a monstrosity or a lie, because this is the most real thing I’ve ever had in my life.” She started sobbing, holding my hand tightly as if drawing strength from me.
“I know you believe that what we have is a sin, ma’am,” I added, my voice trembling. “But I love your daughter with everything I have.” I found my courage in Mer.
“Preposterous!!” My mom snapped, glaring at our intertwined hands.
“You’re just infatuated, or maybe you’re just being rebellious. Everything will be better when you return to God,” she said, trying to reach for me.
“I can’t believe you both,” Mer's mom spat, her voice rising. “The devil has finally gotten hold of you, pulling you into this delusion. But prayers can still save you from this sin.”
“You can still be saved, Meranne,” her mom pleaded, her voice softening slightly. “Let me save you.”
“Ma, this isn’t a sin,” Mer said, her voice breaking. “You always told me that love comes in the most unexpected ways—”
“But not like this! Look at you! Loving another girl! This is wrong from every angle, Meranne! What’s happening to you, my child?”
“They say love believes all things,” I interjected. “It’s about believing in love, in the value of love, regardless of gender. I can’t lose her. I can’t bear it. She’s the only thing I have in this messed-up world.”
“It’s just a phase,” Mer's mom replied, her voice cold. “You’ll understand eventually that this is all a mistake. That this love is a mistake.”
“We’ll have a prayer over you,” my mom added. “You two will be saved.”
We clung to each other as our parents tried to tear us apart. I could feel their hands pulling me away, but I wasn’t letting go—no, not my Mer, not like this. I tightened my grip on her, refusing to give in. Her arms trembled, but her grasp was just as desperate, as if letting go meant losing everything.
I could hear them shouting, see their furious faces, but it was all muffled, drowned out by the pounding in my chest. My heart was breaking, and I could see it in her eyes too—the panic, the fear. I wasn't just scared of what they would do to us—I was terrified of losing her.
My fingers slipped, just a little, but enough to make my breath hitch. She squeezed harder, her nails digging into my skin, as if that would stop the inevitable. But slowly, inch by inch, we were being pulled apart.
I felt the cold air replace the warmth of her hand, and my heart dropped into my stomach. No. No, this can’t be happening. We promised. I looked at her, tears streaming down her face, her lips trembling, mouthing words I couldn’t hear over the chaos.
As our fingers finally broke apart, I held on to the only thing I had left—our promise rings. I gripped mine so tightly it cut into my palm, but I didn’t care. It was all I had left of her. My Mer. The girl who made everything in this messed-up world make sense.
I looked at her like it was the last time, because deep down, I knew it was. The pain in her eyes mirrored mine, the love we shared still burning, but helpless against the tidal wave crashing over us.
“I love you,” I mouthed, my voice caught in my throat, knowing she could see it in my eyes. But then her hand was gone, pulled from mine like a part of me was being ripped away.
The cold wind wrapped around me, replacing the warmth her hands left behind, and the worst part was… it wasn’t just cold. It was empty.
And the shitty thing was, it really was the last time.
“Hey, my love,” I greeted her as she stood before me, an ethereal figure against the blurry haze of my vision. I strained to make out her features—always so beautiful, even now, despite the darkness creeping in.
“Mia, what did you do?” Her fingers brushed my face, their coldness a haunting reminder of everything I had lost. When I glanced at her arms, my heart shattered at the sight of the wounds. The same wounds that had taken her from me, leaving her cold beneath this very tree, where we once shared laughter and dreams. Maybe the pain had cut her so deeply that it took her away from my grasp. I held her wrist, desperately searching for the pulse beneath my fingers, willing it to return. Gently, I brought her hand to my lips, kissing it softly, as if my love could kiss away the suffering. She smiled, that radiant smile I longed for—finally free from a world that never understood us. And soon, so will I.
The memory of her call was seared into my mind. Her voice, laced with desperation, telling me she needed me. It echoed in my ears, so vivid it felt like she was right here, yet so painfully distant. That call was the last time I heard her voice, the last time she called me 'love.' When I arrived, it was too late. I could still hear her whispering, urging me not to blame myself, not to blame anyone. “I just wanted to be free,” she said, and now, I find myself wishing for the same.
To be free from the crushing weight of this grief, the suffocating darkness that has engulfed me since she left. I just want to be with you again, my love.
I pulled her into an embrace, feeling the familiar warmth of her presence, resting my chin on top of her head. I rubbed her back slowly, a desperate attempt to soothe the ache within me, feeling the medicine course through my veins like a bittersweet promise.
“Would you sit with me?” I whispered, my voice barely a breath.
“Are you sure about this, Mia?” she asked, her voice trembling with concern. My hearing was starting to fade, my head spinning, breaths hitching in my chest.
“Yes, love.” I leaned into her, resting my head on her shoulder, my last moments slipping away like grains of sand. My eyelids grew heavier, the world fading into a comforting blur.
“I love you,” I whispered, the words hanging in the air like a fragile thread.
Finally, I’m with you. No more judgment, no more shame, no more pain. Just you and me. Forever and always. And yet, in the depths of my heart, I know this could be the end, a bittersweet goodbye to a world that never understood us.