Pro Patria Mori
The next few days had been a complete state of limbo for Vi.
Everything felt like a slur, time sludging together to form an incomprehensible mass. Needles went into her, tubes came out, cold gloved hands prodded and probed at her, but Vi felt nothing apart from that, as if she were floating weightless, numb.
Voices came from the mess, too. Distant, indistinct, as if speaking to her from another planet, let alone across the room from her.
“Hey, kiddo,” said one gruff, deep voice. “They best get you fixed up soon; Powder’s already eyeing up your room.”
“Heya, sis.” This was from a younger, more feminine voice, with a much heavier undercurrent of sadness to the tone. “We’re all thinking about you, so just- get better, okay?”
The pilot couldn’t tell how far apart each person spoke; whether they were one after the other or hours, days between.
“Get well soon, Vi.”
“Can’t wait to see you back out in the field, man. I’m worried they’ll sell your bird otherwise.” Accompanied by a nervous laugh.
“I’m sorry to hear about Ekko.”
That stung more than any knife edge ever could.
There was only one voice that stood out to her. The same voice that sung the mantra Vi had been playing in her head repeatedly. “Violet.” It cut clear and crisp through the haze. “God, I’m so sorry, we should’ve never sent you- I should have never sent you. Please wake up soon.”
Eventually, the chants disappeared, and Vi was plunged back into a cold, unforgiving void.
When she finally came to, her hospital room was empty, bar a vase of flowers someone had set on the side. They were blue violets. Under any other circumstance, it would have made Vi chuckle, but there was nothing she could laugh or smile about anymore.
On the orders of the medical staff that treated her, Vi had been instructed to get her wound cleaned and dressing replaced daily. For the first couple of days, she grimaced and bared it as different doctors and nurses wiped her bare wound over and placed fresh gauze on. During those days she was still in a form of shock - not even the overwhelming scent of isopropyl alcohol burning her nose and the cold sensation of unknown hands could shake her out of that. But as the days went on, strangers’ touches made her skin crawl more and more, until she could no longer take the sensation any longer.
Every hand, every finger, every slight graze just felt like the grip that held her down while she watched her best friend’s life seep away from his eyes.
Which was why Vi had taken a bunch of the supplies herself and was making her way to where Caitlyn lived in her accommodation block. In her hands, she held a small brown bottle of liquid, fresh gauze pads, and a roll of white medical tape.
Long winding corridors stretched off in all directions, with snake-like gas and liquid pipes disrupting the monotonous grey pattern slightly. For a newbie it was enough to send them into a state of panic as each door, each tile, each light seemed to be a carbon copy of the next. Artificial illumination pierced Vi’s eyes aggressively as she finally located her room.
Vi rapped her knuckles on the door gently. It creaked open slowly and there stood Caitlyn. She wore grey tracksuit bottoms and a red Corps of Justice sweatshirt.
“Hey, Cap,” Vi said softly. She lifted the items in her hand.
Caitlyn stepped forward, looked down both ends of the corridor, and pulled Vi into her room by the wrist. She closed the door before pulling the other girl into a tight hug, burying her face into the nook of Vi’s neck.
Vi squeezed her back tightly but winced at the pressure on her wound. “Easy, easy,” she managed.
Caitlyn pulled away and examined the other girl’s face. She ran her fingers over the skin above and around Vi’s eye. The impact of the gun butt had painted a mosaic onto her complexion, with splotches of blue, purple and yellow seeping into one another. The bottom half of her eye had gone completely red. “Oh, Vi,” was all Caitlyn could manage to say.
“Should’ve seen the other guy,” Vi joked. She lifted up the medical supplies once again. “Will you help me out? I-“ She caught her breath. “I don’t want anyone else touching me anymore.”
Caitlyn took the items. “Of course,” she responded gently, and placed everything onto her table. She laid out each individual item in the order in which she was going to use them. Old habits die hard, Vi thought to herself.
From her drawer, Caitlyn produced a fresh rag and poured some of the alcohol onto it. She pulled up a chair and sat down in front of the girl. “Are you okay with taking your shirt off for me?”
Vi hesitated before nodding. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, flinching as the movement disrupted her stitches, and she was left in just her bare sports bra on her top half.
Caitlyn carefully peeled off Vi’s old dressing and threw it in the bin by her feet. The other girl pretended not to notice Caitlyn looking over her body multiple times as she stood there.
The captain took the rag and started to dab at Vi’s wound gently. “We were worried about you, you know.” She fell silent for a moment. “I was worried about you.”
The alcohol burnt at the injured girl’s wound, but Caitlyn’s touch was gentle and warm against her skin, emitting a comfort Vi hadn’t felt in a long time. Her nerves started to tingle. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.” Caitlyn spoke gently as she looked up at Vi with her big blue eyes, before picking up the gauze pad. She ripped it out of its package and placed it softly over Vi’s stitches. The wound was still an angry red shade and swollen to the touch.
“Serrated knife,” Vi told Caitlyn as she noticed her looking at the wound. “Guess they really didn’t like me that much.”
“Animals,” was all Caitlyn managed to say. She taped the pad down and traced her fingers along the edge of the sticky material, lightly running her fingertips across the skin on Vi’s stomach in the process. As painful as her abdomen wound was, the motion sent arcs of warmth throughout Vi’s body.
Caitlyn stood back up but didn’t take her hands away from Vi’s stomach, instead moving them around to hold her hips. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Vi grasped Caitlyn’s elbows gently. She thought of telling the other girl everything, how she’d spent the last two weeks replaying that moment within her head every waking second, how her nightmares were filled with Ekko’s screams and his unblinking eyes and his begs for mercy, but ultimately decided against it.
Instead, she cupped Caitlyn’s face within her hands and placed her forehead against hers. “I’m sorry I worried you.”
Vi and Caitlyn locked eyes in their embrace. “Don’t make me do it again, please,” Caitlyn said in a voice just an octave above a whisper.
Vi stared heavily into Caitlyn’s cerulean eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but her throat constricted, and a choked sob escaped her lips. Her chest shook violently as she broke down, finally opening the flood gates as she let the emotions of the past weeks consume her.
Caitlyn knitted her fingers into the pilot’s hair and held her close. Hot wet salty tears sprinkled onto her neck. “it’s okay, love, it’s okay,” she cooed into Vi’s ear, running her fingertips over the other girl’s undercut.
Caitlyn led them both back towards the bed and let Vi clamber atop of her, breaking the contact briefly before burying her face back into the crook of her neck. The captain remained calm, idly drawing circles along Vi’s back while she played with her hair with the other hand.
The pilot’s echoing cries still rang through Caitlyn’s quarters as she worked up the strength to speak. “It’s all my fuckin’ fault,” she stuttered.
Caitlyn shook her head. “No it’s not, don’t say that,” she whispered, planting her palm on Vi’s lower back.
Vi sniffled and propped herself up to look at the other officer. Her eyes were red and puffy, and the bruise on her complexion looked even angrier than before. “I should’ve done more to help him. Ambessa gave me a choice, and- and-“
“It’s okay, Violet. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Truth be told, no-one knew what happened after the pilots crashed. Their transponders had cut off from the moment of impact, and everything after that was an intel blackspot until Vi was medevaced out of Noxus. The pilot had been too busy fighting a blood infection from her stab wound and a severe concussion to give a debrief to anyone.
If this was the first time she was talking about it, Caitlyn was glad it was her and not a board of snotty-nosed senior officers. She owed Vi that much.
“We were shot down. Near the compound.” Vi’s breath shuddered as she recalled the events. “The missile didn’t respond to our flares. Next thing, we’re being hauled out by Ambessa and her men, and we both woke up in some dungeon. She told me if I didn’t fight her she’d kill Ekko.” The pilot’s jaw clenched. “Then she did it anyway.”
Caitlyn stroked her fingers through Vi’s hair as she spoke, listening intently. The officer segment of her brain knew this was going to be a shit ton of paperwork.
But the normal part of her brain, the part that sank into anxious limbo as she sat staring at a blank tracking screen those weeks ago when her pilot had been shot down, just wanted to make sure her lover was okay. She wanted to hold her pilot in her arms forever, washing away her fears, nursing her back to her former self in any way possible.
“It was Ambessa that killed Ekko?” she asked cautiously.
“Yes,” Vi responded blankly.
“Oh, Vi.” Cait shook her head and planted a light kiss against the other girl’s temple. “I’m so sorry.”
Vi didn’t respond. She was sick to her stomach of people telling her they were sorry.
Sorry didn’t fix anything.
Sorry wasn’t going to bring her helicopter up and out of the crash site.
Sorry wasn’t going to heal the angry stab wound in her stomach.
Sorry wasn’t going to resurrect her wingman, her best friend, the man she trusted more than anyone, back from the dead.
Sorry wasn’t going to put a bullet in Ambessa’s head.
As Vi slipped into a silent slumber in Caitlyn’s arms, her last waking thought was of Ekko’s blank, unstaring, empty eyes.
***
Vi slept at Caitlyn’s apartment for the next couple of days. She’d offered to go back to her own quarters, but the captain had insisted on her staying.
Caitlyn wanted nothing more than to coax Vi out of whatever deep pit she’d fallen into. She did everything for the pilot, for them. She cooked all their meals. Washed Vi’s clothes. Cleaned her wounds, made sure she took her antibiotics, gave her painkillers whenever a headache began to play up. She held Vi tight and hummed her back to sleep whenever she woke up panicked in the night, thrashing about and crying out for Ekko.
Day-by-day, Vi began perking up ever so slightly. Caitlyn knew the pilot’s pride was too strong to admit it, but deep down she knew Vi was thankful for the company, thankful for the warmth.
Unfortunately, the loving bubble Caitlyn had created for them had to be burst; she still had a job to do, and while Vi was on medical leave, the captain still had a case to crack and people to pay visits to.
On the fourth day, Caitlyn spoke to Vi over their breakfast. “I need to see Viktor today. About the files,” she told Vi over their bowls of cereal.
Vi swallowed her spoonful and looked up. “Okay,” she replied airily.
“Will you be okay while I’m gone?”
The other officer hesitated for a beat. “Yeah.” She sniffed before offering Caitlyn a weak smile. “Yeah, Cupcake, I’ll be okay.”
The captain grinned and finished off her bowl. Even in her dire state, Vi still had an incessant need to call Caitlyn anything but her actual name.
Vi crunched down her last couple of mouthfuls and picked up both their bowls, taking them over to the kitchenette to wash up. It came as a shock to Caitlyn; normally, she’d crawl back into bed and stare at the wall, or just fall fast asleep again. But she seemed more spritely today, moving way more than any of the previous mornings. Surely that was a good sign?
Caitlyn made her way over to the door, pulling on a long overcoat before reaching for the handle.
“Hey, Cait?” Vi called after her.
The captain turned her head to look over her shoulder. “Yes, Violet?”
“Thank you.”
Caitlyn smiled and nodded. She turned back around and headed out of her quarters.
***
It came as no surprise to Caitlyn when she found Viktor hunched over the desk in his lab, head in hands, rubbing his eyes furiously. The lights were switched off; the only illumination in the room came from his bright monitor screen. “Morning, Vik,” she greeted cheerfully, flicking on the lightswitch.
The scientist jumped in shock at the sudden noise, but broke out into a thin smile when he realised who it was. “Ah, Detective Kiramman, you know the way to us lab geeks’ hearts,” he teased, gesturing to the disposable coffee cups Caitlyn held in each hand.
“Of course.” She strolled forward, placing a cup in front of Viktor who nodded in thanks. She took a seat in front of him. “Any updates?”
Heimerdinger had sent a number of files from the casino job over to Viktor for analysis; mainly those involving mystery chemicals and, most importantly, the Shimmer files. It was Caitlyn’s job to bridge the gap between the two and provide Heimerdinger information on any breakthroughs. While the Shimmer case was assigned to her, and Cait really wanted to get to the bottom of it, she hated playing the middleman.
Viktor took a sip from his drink and winced slightly at the heat. He flicked a hand towards the computer. “I have managed to analyse the blood samples from the young gentleman who lost his life the other week. He seemed to have a more stabilised version of Shimmer in his system; unfortunately he passed away before the effects could take a toll on his body.”
“A more stabilised version?” Caitlyn raised an eyebrow as she took a swig of her own coffee.
“Yes.” Viktor cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose. “There isn’t enough for me to synthesise a replication of the compound, however an educated guess would say this type would give the exposed host the same increased strength and stamina, without the urge to end their lives at the end.”
“I see.” Cait pursed her lips. “And the other files? Have you made any breakthroughs on S-03?”
Viktor hesitated for a moment. His amber eyes peered over his glasses frame as he sighed heavily. “Yes. It’s nothing good.”
He rotated the computer monitor around to show the detective what was on the screen. It was the same schematic her and Vi had seen back at the casino; only this time, there were red scribbles and handwriting all over it, various arrows jutting in and out hastily.
“I have put some of my own notes on there,” the scientist explained, picking up a pen to point at the glowing display. “The compound goes in here-“ he ran the pen tip up the larger tube, running from the exterior of the cylindrical object to its interior, “-and is dispersed out of these funnels.” He gestured to the smaller tubes encircling the main cavity at the centre.
“Right.” Caitlyn leaned in to get a closer look. “So, what is it, exactly?”
“A chemical bomb.” Viktor let the words hang in the air as the detective cursed under her breath. Her and Vi had been right. “Judging by the capacities these plans have detailed, as well, it looks like they’re planning to drop it somewhere big. City-wide big.”
Caitlyn exhaled slowly through her nose. Vi’s phrase of FUBAR suddenly sprang to mind. “And the chemical itself?”
“That is slightly more complicated.” Viktor leant back in his chair, knitting his fingers together. “Half of the files were encrypted; I have my best analysts working to crack them. From what I have so far, it looks to be an airborne rendition of the first strain of Shimmer you brought to me. I will know more in time.”
Caitlyn’s heart sank deep into her stomach and flipped violently. She nudged her coffee cup to the side; her appetite had disappeared completely.
“Thank you, Viktor,” was all she managed to say. “God help us.”
“If you believe in Him, I advise you start praying, Detective.” Viktor’s voice was sharp and daunting. Sensing the tension, he quickly changed the subject. “How is your pilot?”
Caitlyn huffed a sigh of relief; she was grateful for the switch of topic. “She’s as good as she could be, given the circumstances.”
“Of course,” Viktor hummed, nodding.
“And how are you, Viktor?”
The scientist propped a hand on the arm of his chair, smiling dryly; the humour didn’t reach his eyes. “Are you asking as my boss, or as my friend?”
Cait shook her head and chuckled. “I’m not your boss, Viktor.”
“Eh.” He tilted his head to the side. “You bring me lots of work, Captain. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then…”
The detective laughed again, her shoulders relaxing into the conversation; she hadn’t even realised they’d tensed up.
“I’m okay, thank you for asking, Caitlyn,” Viktor continued, dropping the formalities. “Jayce has been making lots of visits; he seems very interested in the work I do.”
“Yeah, I bet it’s the work,” Cait said sarcastically with a smirk. She got up from her seat and threw her now-cold coffee cup into the bin by Viktor’s desk. “Thank you again, for everything you’re doing. Everything you’ve done. I can’t imagine it’s easy.”
“Nothing good has ever been accomplished with things being easy, Caitlyn.”
With Viktor’s closing comment echoing in her mind, Caitlyn left the laboratory.
***
Every inch of her wanted to go straight home to Vi. To make sure she was still okay, to keep her safe, to cook them both dinner and pretend the outside world didn’t exist.
Regardless of what Caitlyn wanted, she still had a job to do. And another name to check off of her day’s agenda.
The detective had read Officer Nolen’s incarceration report back to front ten times over as she made her way from the labs to the compound holding cells. The files detailed a long list of charges against Maddie’s name: possession of a controlled substance, distribution of a controlled substance, espionage, obstruction of justice, distribution of sensitive material, accessory to murder.
In Layman’s terms, it meant a long, long time in the slammer, regardless of how she pleaded.
There was a single guard working the desk at the lock-up. His eyes rolled up lazily as Caitlyn approached, setting down his magazine with a disappointed grunt. “Rank, name, and business,” he drawled, yawning.
“Captain Caitlyn Kiramman. Here to see inmate 325, Maddie Nolen.” Caitlyn held her shoulders back, chin jutting out proudly as she stared down intensely at the guard.
The guard immediately scrabbled at the computer upon hearing her rank, swiping any more contraband from his desk as he tapped away at the keyboard. “Of course, Captain, apologies,” he flustered. “We’ll bring her out to the visitation chamber as soon as possible.”
The detective nodded a thank you and walked past the front desk. It took every muscle in her face to restrain her from smiling; there was always a bigger fish. “If I see that magazine again, I’ll have you written up for subordination,” she said casually over her shoulder before entering the visitation chamber.
The room was cold and barren, a simple square with a single divider in the middle to separate the two worlds. There were glass panels in each booth for visitors and inmates to look at each other whilst they spoke over the phones hung up on either side. Caitlyn slipped into the middle booth and pulled the receiver up to her ear, patiently waiting.
Moments later, a mop of messy ginger hair appeared in the doorway on the other side, accompanied by another guard. Maddie trudged forward, frowning at the sight of the detective. She wore a standard orange jumpsuit and her wrists and ankles were bound by metal, the chains rattling as she sat down in front of Caitlyn and picked up the phone on her side.
“Could your lapdog not make it this time?” was the first thing she said to the detective.
Caitlyn ignored the quip; she couldn’t let Nolen get under her skin, not this time. “Why did you do it, Maddie?”
“Why not?” the ginger sneered. She shrugged her shoulders innocently.
“Don’t give me that,” Cait responded lowly. “Why? Why throw it all away? You had a perfectly good career lined up ahead of you, working for a real cause. Instead you decided to cosy up to the enemy. Why?”
“Caitlyn, dear, what you don’t understand is that this is so much bigger than you. Than any of us.”
The detective cringed at Maddie’s use of the petname. “What does that mean?”
Nolen opened her mouth to respond, but shrunk back, smirking. “I’m not saying anything else until I get a lawyer.”
“Fuck your lawyer,” Caitlyn spat. “Two men are dead because of you. You’ll rot in here unless you start talking.”
“You think this will end with Zaun, with Piltover,” the prisoner continued, casually checking her fingernails as she spoke. “But it won’t. Noxus has its eyes on a much bigger prize than a 3rd world country and a washed-up nation.” She kissed her teeth. “You could’ve been a part of it, dear. I’m rather upset you’re not. But when I get out of here, you’ll be the first person I put a bullet in the brain of, I promise.”
“Who else is Noxus targeting?” Caitlyn asked, her voice growing louder as she became more desperate.
Maddie’s eyes suddenly shifted. A malicious smile crept upon her lips. “Was it painful?”
“I’m sorry?” Cait furrowed her eyebrows.
“When Ambessa finally took care of that stupid pilot. Was it painful? Did she make him bleed?” she snarled.
The detective’s eyes widened in horror. The grip on her receiver became slippery as her palms began to perspirate. “How could you possibly know about that?”
“Tell me, captain,” Nolen droned, leaning closer to the thin glass separating them, “when Vanderson’s mind finally snaps, will you be the one to put her down? How far will you go for someone you love? Or will you let your personal entanglement get in the way of the oath you swore for your beloved Piltover?” Her words dripped with venom.
“This interview is over,” Caitlyn said hurriedly, gathering up her files as she hung the phone back up on the hook.
“Does she fuck you as well as I did, captain?” Maddie was out of her seat now, shouting through the barrier so Caitlyn could still hear. “Does she feel the same way I did inside you? Is your lust clouding your judgement, just as it did with us? Protect and serve! Protect and fucking serve, Caitlyn Kiramman!”
Caitlyn didn’t respond. She didn’t even look back. Storming out of the visitation chamber, straight past the nonchalant guard, she paced furiously back to her accommodation block.
***
The door nearly flung off its hinges when Caitlyn barged back into her quarters. Vi’s eyes met hers in a state of shock and Cait slammed the door shut behind her with her foot. She was sat at Caitlyn’s desk, holding a piece of paper in front of her. Two envelopes were strewn across the surface; one was neatly sealed, the other ripped open haphazardly.
“Hey, Cait, what-“
Vi was cut off by Caitlyn pulling her into a tight hug across her shoulders, burying her face into her neck. She planted a soft kiss against her skin. “Are you okay?” the detective asked, pulling away.
Vi rubbed Cait’s wrist and set the letter down. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” She looked up into Caitlyn’s eyes. “What happened?”
Cait ignored the question, instead settling her eyes on the letters on her table. “What are these?” She picked up the unopened envelope; it said her name in giant block letters.
“Uhm.” Vi cleared her throat. “It’s an inquest summons into Ekko’s death.” She chuckled humourlessly. “Didn’t take them long, did it?”