Not so Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
“Oh my god, look at the little nugget!” James half squeals in the ultrasound room. It’s Lily’s first ultrasound and James had woken up at 4am excited to see his child for the first time, had woken Lily up talking to her stomach and she had almost punched him. He had also driven them to the hospital almost an hour earlier than they needed to be and he’s been grinning like a child all day. “He looks like you.” James smiles, kissing Lily’s temple, eyes not moving from the ultrasound.
“James, it’s too early to tell gender.” Lily chides once again, “It is too early isn’t it?” Lily questions. The ultrasound tech nods with a smile.
“By the looks of it Mrs Potter you are about 8 weeks along and baby looks healthy. I am going to book you in for an appointment on the 25th of March for another scan. That will be your 19-week scan, if you want to know you gender you should be able to find out then.” She smiles. “And by the looks of it, your due date should be the 29th of July,” She then adds and begins to pack up the ultrasound equipment. “I can print out these pictures for you and you can take them home. Should be a couple of minutes.” She promises and turns back to the computer.
“Can we tell our parents now? We have pictures now.” James then practically begs Lily. She’s been holding off telling their parents, she’s scared out about how they are going to react. They’re not married and whilst they have been dating for a long time, she isn’t so sure her Catholic parents are going to agree having a baby whilst unmarried. She had also promised him that when they got an ultrasound that they could tell their parents.
“James, you know my parents. They go to mass every Sunday, they do charity work all the time in the name of the church, you cannot go into the lounge without seeing three crucifixes.” Lily answers.
“That is true, but, they also are in love with their daughter. They are so proud of you and any chance they get they brag about you and your success. Besides, if they cannot accept that then it’s their loss because they don’t get to meet their exceptional grandchild.” James promises, grabbing hold of Lily’s hand when he’s done.
“Exceptional?” Lily smiles.
“Of course, have you seen this child’s parents.” James brags and Lily laughs.
“Ok, ok. We can tell your parents when we see them on the 20th and mine when we see them on the 23rd.” Lily promises and cannot help but feel excited when James grows a grin.
They wait another couple of minutes before the ultrasound tech walks back in and gives them three pictures of the ultrasound and gets them to sign some paper work before they are finally released. Most of the car ride is in silence until they pull into the flat carpark and James turns to Lily.
“The ultrasound woman called you ‘Mrs Potter’.” James says.
“I know. I didn’t want to say anything because I thought you didn’t notice.” Lily answers.
“Would you? Want to be Mrs Potter one day? This isn’t a proposal or anything, I just would like to know.” James then questions.
“Someday, yes. I would like to be Mrs Potter, someday.” Lily promises and places a gentle kiss to James’ lips. “Come on, I’m hungry and Pete said he was making waffles.” Lily then adds and jumps out the car, heading up to the flat. They don’t even open the front door to the flat to hear the shouting going inside. It’s been a regular occurrence since the Black brothers have been under one roof, the constant shouting in French that will occasionally switch to Russian but from what everyone can tell the language only switches when they get particularly angry with each other.
The two enter the flat and the shouting just intensifies and they find Peter, Remus, and a dark blonde woman all standing in the kitchen. There’s a plate of waffles on the side that Peter passes to Lily and she gives him a very strong hug and tucks in.
“What’s going on?” James asks Remus who shrugs.
“We woke up to this. I heard you guys leaves at 8 and then heard these two. What really got us was when we heard some smashing.” Remus explains.
“One of them threw a glass across the lounge, it’s still in the lounge. None of us are brave enough to go in there.” Peter adds. “I tried and got shouted out.” Peter then adds looking down. No one says anything else; there’s just the noise of the two brothers shouting. After 5 minutes, the shouting comes to a sudden stop and somehow the silence is worse than the shouting. Regulus walks past them first and slams Sirius’ bedroom door shut and then Sirius walks into the kitchen.
“Erm…my cousin Andy is coming to get him tomorrow.” Sirius says. His voice sounds rough and no one is surprised by how much shouting he’s been participating in. “She’ll- she’ll be here about 10 tomorrow.” He adds. “I’m going to- going to get some art work done.” He finishes and leaves to Remus’ room. That’s where the brother’s have spent most of their time. Regulus keeps himself to himself in Sirius’ room, only coming out to use the bathroom and Lily or James drops him some food. Sirius has bundled himself up in Remus’ room, he never comes out unless it’s shouting at Regulus.
“He’s been doing that for the last two weeks. He’s obsessed, he barely sleeps, he’s talking to himself all night, he’s barely eating. I’m worried about him.” Remus answers. “There’s something wrong. Something is going on and he won’t tell anyone.”
“He’ll be fine Remus. Maybe his cousin can tell you something tomorrow.” James suggests and Remus nods.
“Anyway, you guys got the ultrasound done, have you got any pictures?” Remus asks and James rummages through Lily’s bag and pulls out the pictures showing his friends.
“Doesn’t he look like Lily.” James smiles and both Remus and Peter look over to Lily.
“I told him earlier; you can’t tell on an ultrasound but he is adamant.” Lily says causing the others to laugh. “Also, hi, I’m Lily.” She says to the other woman.
“Crap, sorry. This is Emmaline. Emmaline, Lily and James, Lily and James, Emmaline.” Peter says. “We’ve been seeing each other.” He then adds slightly embarrassed.
“Well, nice to meet you.” Lily smiles.
“Yeah. Pete speaks highly of you guys, although didn’t mention the French shouting as a wake -up call.” Emmaline says and Lily can hear a very subtle American accent but she won’t hold that against her.
“It’s not normal. What do you do?” Lily asks.
“English.” She smiles.
“No way, so do I. We’re doing Romeo and Juliett at the moment and I just can’t seem to find the magic in it. I mean it’s good but compare that to Othello, or Twelfth Night.” Lily smiles.
“Totally agree.” Emmaline says and the boys watch as they have some sort of private conversation and then both leave the kitchen to the lounge, talking amongst themselves.
“D-Did Lily just steal my girlfriend from me?” Peter questions and James and Remus can only laugh.
Remus isn’t sure what wakes him up at 2 in the morning. He can also feel the slight remanence of the alcohol from the evening, everyone bar Lily, drinking and playing card games meant they hadn’t gone to bed until 1am, he’s had less sleep than James does when he naps. Remus looks around his bedroom, finding the bathroom light on and then he hears it. It’s Sirius, he’s talking to himself, sounding like he is trying to keep quiet but he’s not doing a very successful job. Remus groans and crawls out of the warmth of his bed and feels around for a jumper. Once he’s somewhat more awake he heads towards the bathroom and finds Sirius sat in the shower. He’s got a canvas in his lap and there’s paint all over his arms and clothes, and Remus thinks he can see some in his hair. He can’t quite make out what is on the canvas but he can see the way Sirius’ eyes dart around the canvas, looking to wide and alert for Remus’ liking, and he can hear Sirius mumbling but it’s for certain not in English and if Remus is being honest with himself, Sirius is starting to scare him.
“Sirius?” Remus questions quietly and gently crouches down in front of the other. “Sirius, hey Sirius look at me.” Remus says and carefully removes the canvas from Sirius who finally looks up. Remus can see how exhausted he looks, he’s got deep grey bags under his eyes, his skin is pale, and he’s got bright red eyes. “Hey, we should get you to bed, yeah?” Remus suggests but Sirius shakes his head.
“There’s so much Remus.” He says and Remus can only respond with a confused look. “So much to know a-and explore. No time to sleep.” He says and takes the canvas back continuing his work. Remus nods unsure what to do. He thinks for a few minutes before eventually deciding on grabbing a blanket from his bedroom and then joys Sirius in the bathroom, he may not want to stop doing his artwork but that does not mean Remus is going to let him be on his own in the bathroom at 2 am, whether or not Sirius realises he’s there.
Remus falls asleep at some point and wakes up to James knocking on the door. He’s got a guilty look on his face, guilty for disturbing him. That guilt quickly turns into worry as he looks down to Sirius, who is still somehow going on his painting. Remus can only shrug.
“His cousin is here for Regulus.” He says and Remus quickly gets up. He may not presentable but he doesn’t particularly think he needs to look presentable in the moment. He walks out into the kitchen and lounge and sees Lily, Peter, and Emmaline all playing with a toddler. He then turns to the kitchen and finds another woman standing there, she’s got a man next to him and they don’t look particularly older than himself. He can’t see Regulus anywhere.
“Hi, I’m Remus.” He starts and the woman gives him a small smile.
“Andromeda, err…Andy. This is my husband Ted, and the toddler rampaging your living room is our daughter, Nymphadora.” She smiles, her voice is soft and mothering. “Regulus is just getting his final bits so we’ll be out your hair soon. Do you know where Sirius is? He said he’d come say hi, wants to see Dora.” She then asks.
“About that. We had some questions, about Sirius.” James then says, Remus didn’t even know he was in the kitchen.
“What’s he done?” Andy then asks. Both James and Remus struggle to find their words, unsure how to explain what is going on. “Just show me.” She then says. She whispers something to Ted who gives worried nod and follows Remus and James to Remus’ bathroom. To neither James or Remus’ surprise, Sirius is still painting, mumbling to himself. Remus looks over to Andy and he sees part of her sink and he knows she knows what’s going on.
Andy gently kneels down beside Sirius, getting into the shower next to him and starts to talk. She just talks, over Sirius’ rumbling and painting. Remus has heard enough French over the past two weeks to know what it sounds it like. Andy says it so gently, so caring. It’s a vast contrast to what either James or Remus have heard before. Suddenly, Remus feels like he’s intruding onto a private moment. He half jabs James’ side and signals for them to leave, whatever is going on, neither are going to help the moment.
Both wait in the kitchen for Andy to come out, it’s a long 5-minute wait. The kitchen feels particularly awkward because Regulus is standing next to them, clearly waiting for his cousin to leave. Andy eventually joins them and it looks like she’s been crying. She says something to both Ted and Regulus and both of them leave, Ted grabbing Nymphodora on his way out.
“Erm…he- he’s done this before.” She speaks. “A couple of times.” She adds, her voice is shaking slightly. “Regulus and I have always thought it was bipolar, our uncle Alphard also thinks so, we just can’t get him diagnosed without his parents knowing and the last time he did this, well, let’s say they weren’t very nice about it.” She explains. “Have you got a piece of paper and a pen?” she then asks and James nods quickly getting a notepad and a pen from the junk drawer in the cupboard. “Call this number, do it in the new year. Sirius told me his parents disowned him; it should be ok by then. It’s our Uncle Alphard; he’ll be able to help.” She says as she scribbles down some numbers. “He’s going to crash, hard. Just make sure he showers and eats something before then. Don’t let him near any sharp objects or anything, just keep an eye on him. And someone call me when he’s ok, please.” She finishes and both Remus and James nod.
“Thank you. For helping.” Remus smiles. They quickly say goodbye and Andy leaves. “He’s going to be ok, yes?” Remus questions. Neither James or Remus can answer because they don’t know.
Andy wasn’t wrong when she said Sirius would crash. The night Regulus left, James and Remus made sure to get Sirius to have a shower, only managing too when they bribed him, saying they would let him do as much painting as he wanted when he had showered. They also made sure he had a plate of Lily’s lasagna before he went to sleep. It’s the first time in two weeks he’s slept in his own bed. The next morning, they wake up and Sirius won’t move.
“What do we do now?” Peter asks.
“Nothing. We make sure he is safe and comfortable.” James answers. “Lily do you mind watching him for a while? Me, Pete and Remus can go get a Christmas tree. Decorate the flat. He might feel better after.” James then suggests. He’s not got much enthusiasm in his voice but they all get the message across.
Sirius isn’t sure why he feels the way he does. It’s like his body and his mind are detached from each other. He has no reason for his limbs to feel so heavy, or for his brain to feel so foggy, or for his eyes to feel so tired. It’s not like he has an excuse like Remus. It he lays in bed for extended periods, no one bats an eye, he’s got a reason, Sirius doesn’t. If Lily lays in bed all day, barely moving, she’s growing a human, she has a reason to do nothing and lay in bed, Sirius doesn’t.
There’s part of him that’s screaming to just get up. To get over himself and get on with the day. Join the others for breakfast, see the ultrasound of James and Lily’s baby, do some art work for his degree. He should be able to get up and eat breakfast but he can’t and cannot explain why.
He cannot even feel the duvet around him. He knows it’s on him; he remembers Remus tucking him in the night before. He just felt so tired so Remus helped him brush his teeth, get pyjamas on and tucked him into his bed and placed a kiss to his temple. He remembers the way Remus was so gentle with him, there was nothing harsh about his actions or his voice, everything so gentle, so slow. It reminds him when Andy would care for him.
She would protect him from the family. Telling his parents he had a contagious fever, keeping them away from his bedroom but made sure to not make him sound so bad that they called a doctor. She would sit by him all day, sometimes they were silence. Other times should would read to him, some novels that Ted had introduced her too, Frankenstein, Dracula, Oliver Twist. Sometimes she would play music, soft classical music that Sirius only liked when she would play it. Even amongst all that happiness he still couldn’t find it in himself to get up.
He can hear the rest of the flat bustling with noise. He can hear Pete and his girlfriend who Sirius cannot remembers name; he thinks it starts with an E but that’s all he can recall. He can hear James and Remus and some music from the lounge. There’s laughing and some of Lily telling them off with low music in the background that Sirius desperately wants to be apart of. He can smell Lily’s cooking, it’s the spicy chicken and rice she makes, taking the spice down by three for him. There’s so much happiness just the other side of his bedroom door and he cannot find it in himself to just get up.
Sirius doesn’t realise he’s crying until they’re spilling onto his pillow, yet he doesn’t do anything. Part of him believe he deserves this. He’s disappointed almost everyone in his life. His parents for loving art. His uncle for almost not going to university. His brother for noting taking care of him. Andy for making her check on him so much. James for not being the friend he should have. Peter for not knowing enough about him. Lily for distracting the father of her child.
Remus.
There’s so much as to why Sirius could disappoint Remus. He kissed him drunk. He bailed on their first date. Ignoring him since Regulus arrived. Covering his room in paint. Not being what Remus deserves.
Sirius is drawn out from his thoughts when there’s a soft knock on the door. He doesn’t move but the person opens the door and a few seconds later there’s a dip in his mattress.
“Hey.” That’s Remus. “Lily made chicken if you want some. I’ll leave it on the bedside table. We got a Christmas tree this morning. That’s decorated.” He sounds sad. He doesn’t want Remus to be sad. “It’s going to be just us two from tomorrow until the 24th. Pete is going back to Ireland for Christmas and James and Lily are seeing family.” Remus pauses, like he’s thinking deeply. “You just take as long as you need, ok? I-I’ll be here for you.” It sounds like a promise.
Remus stays for another few moments and leaves, shutting the door with a soft click. Sirius wasn’t sure he could feel worse but he does. He doesn’t want to be the one that people have to update on. He should be in the moment, decorating the tree with them, wishing James and Lily good luck, going with them to drop Peter at the airport, watching Christmas movies and making hot chocolate with Remus. For some reason it all makes Sirius want to sink into his mattress further.
When Christmas morning arrives, it’s a bleak affair. Everyone is feeling the effects of a missing Sirius. Throughout the morning, Remus, James, and Lily drop in Christmas presents, and Remus drops in a late birthday present for Sirius. Each time one goes in and out Sirius doesn’t acknowledge them. Lily and James took up the task to make Christmas lunch and after a very quick phone call with his dad, Remus joins the two in the kitchen, in silence.
“How did telling your parents go?” Remus breaks the silence. He needs to talk to them about anything.
“It went ok with mine.” Lily answers and Remus gives her a questioning look so she sighs and starts re-telling the story.
-
“James! Lily!” Lily’s mum, Mary, pulls the two into a tight, well as tight as she can, hug. She kisses them both of the cheek several times over before evening allowing them into the house. Lily can smell her mum’s Christmas dinner anywhere; they had made the arrangement that they would have Christmas dinner on the 20th with Lily’s parents and then the 23rd with James’ and then again on the 25th with Remus and Sirius. “Dinner should be ready in about an hour, come, come.” She pushes both into the lounge and Lily feels her stomach sink when she sees her sister sat in the lounge with their dad and her husband.
“Lily! James!” Lily’s dad, Paul, grins and pulls his daughter into a loving hug and shakes James’ hand. “How have you two been? Studying hard?” Paul questions.
“Yeah, yeah we’ve been good. Everyone is really lovely.” Lily smiles taking a seat on the leather sofa her parents have had for longer than Lily has been alive. She can feel her sister staring at her, watching her every move. “Tunia, how’s everything going?” Lily then asks her sister who stiffens at the questions.
“Tiring. Making a human is so tiring Lily, honestly. Be thankful you don’t have to do it.” Petunia answers and Lily replies with a stiff nod and smile. Mary then joins everyone and she has a few presents in her arms and joins Paul on the smallest sofa on the room.
“So, presents. Tunia this is for you, Lily that’s yours, let me know if it’s the right size.” Mary smiles and passes both her daughters their Christmas presents. “James, Vernon, we didn’t forget you two.” She then smiles and passes those two some presents.
“Sorry again we couldn’t get you two anything, preparing for the baby and all.” Petunia then says and Lily cannot stand how sickly sweet her voice sounds.
“It’s ok, we understand dear. Now, open your presents.” Mary encourages and everyone gets to work opening them. Lily gets a ring that’s got a woven band and a little flower on top that perfectly fits her middle finger. James gets a new leather band for his watch that he’s been wanting for a while and had passively mentioned needing a new one when they left for uni in September.
“Wow. Tha-thank you Mr and Mrs Evans.” James smiles and embraces both of them. He then goes to Lily’s bag and gets out their present. They had made a little box with putting in the ultrasound of the baby along with some chocolates that the two like and they found some mini bottles of the rum Paul really likes. Lily watches rather anxiously as her parents open the box, hands gripping onto James’. Both her parents take a moment to realise what is going on and when they do their faces light up and both jump up to embrace Lily and James.
“A-and we do want to get married, s-someday. I know that’s important but-”
“Lily, dear, calm down. You’re giving us another grandchild,” Mary smiles and kisses her cheek. “And James, you really need to start calling us Mary and Paul, especially as you’re going to be the father of our grandchild.” Mary adds and James blushes slightly. “Oh, this is amazing! We’re going to have two grandchildren! They are going to be absolutely spoilt by the way.” Mary smiles and once again embraces the two in for a hug.
-
“Wait, that doesn’t seem so bad. They accepted that you were pregnant?” Remus questions, now peeling potatoes Lily had given him.
“My parents where happy about it, it was Petunia that made it horrible.” Lily answers
-
“So, pregnant?” Petunia questions Lily. Vernon has gone to the bathroom and James is helping Mary and Paul in the kitchen. Lily nods. “Is it because of me?” she then asks.
“What? No. We weren’t evening planning for a child it just happened.” Lily answers, suddenly feeling interrogated rather than in a nice conversation with her older sister.
“You’re not going to finish university, are you? I don’t see how you can, what with a child.” She then says.
“No- no I’m going to finish. Going to get my PGCE and teach. Just because you aren’t going to work doesn’t mean I won’t.” Lily answers and Petunia just scoffs at her answer. “Tunia, please, I don’t want to start anything. It’s our Christmas can we just along with each other?” Lily questions. She cannot remember a Christmas when they haven’t argued with each other.
“I would. However, you are having a child out of wedlock. Whether or not I believe what our parents do, that child deserves a father and having one outside of marriage is not healthy for a child.” Petunia answers her voice rather cold. Lily doesn’t know how to respond or what to do. She feels part of her has been torn out of her body. She and Petunia had always been close, close until Lily went to their dream school and Petunia had never forgiven her for that. “Vernon and I should go, don’t want to be associated with- with that.” Petunia then gestures over to James. Lily swallows thickly and watches as Petunia leaves.
“Lily.” James then says. “It’s ok.” He wraps his arms around her, kissing her forehead. “Come on, your mum taught me how to make her famous roast potatoes.” He smiles cheekily and Lily shakes her head following James into the kitchen. Even if her sister wasn’t going to be there, she could still have fun.
-
“So Petunia is refusing to speak to you.” Remus questions and Lily gives a sad nod. “Sorry. But what James’ parents, how did it go telling your parents?” Remus asks James who goes to say something but then stops.
“We didn’t tell them.” Lily fills in and Remus looks at both of them questioningly.
~
“Lily! James! Come! Come!” Fleamont half yells and welcomes them into the home. The atmosphere is vastly different from that of the Evans’. It feels somewhat warmer, calmer than Lily’s parents.
“Dad, hey. Merry Christmas.” James smiles, embracing his father into a hug.
“Beta!” Euphemia then greats James and pulls him into a tight hug, getting James to bend down to place a kiss to his forehead. “Come, dinner is almost dinner,” she smiles, leading her son into the dining room. “Where’s Lily?” she then questions.
“Just popped to the bathroom.” James answers as everyone sits down. James catches his parents up on university, leaving out the part of Sirius’ own mental problems, knowing his parents they’d worry about him and end up at their flat Christmas morning. He does fill them on Peter and how he is doing, they’ve known him since he was seven so James isn’t surprised that they want to know so much about Pete and how he’s doing.
Lily eventually joins them and takes a seat next to James, apologising for taking so long. James’ parents just shake their heads and Euphemia gives Lily several hugs, James has always joked that his mum prefers Lily over himself.
“James, come, I need to show something I’ve been working on.” Fleamont then quickly tells James and they both disappear into Fleamont’s study. Lily and Euphemia both chuckle, both of them turn into children whenever they disappear into Fleamont’s study.
“So, Lily, how are your classes going?” Euphemia asks.
“Good. The school is really good at helping with catch up lessons.” Lily smiles.
“You’ve missed some?” she asks.
“Yeah, got the flu or something at the start of November but my teachers were really lovely.” Lily smiles. Euphemia nods and they sit in silence for a moment.
“Lily, can I ask you something?” Lily nods, “And don’t take any offence.” Lily again nods, unsure where the conversation is going to go. “Are you pregnant?” Lily freezes. Of all questions, that was not the one she was expecting to be asked. “It’s just James had made a comment about you not feeling well and being worried and wanted to take you A&E and then he just stopped. And you are glowing.” Euphemia smiles at the end.
“Yeah. I’m pregnant.” Lily nods and Euphemia instantly brings her into a tight hug.
“Thank you Lily.” She whispers.
“What’s going on?” James asks as he and his dad walk into the room.
“Your mum knows.” Lily admits and James has an equal grin to his mother’s. Fleamont looks between everyone in the room, uncertain. “Sorry Fleamont, I’m pregnant.” Lily then adds and Fleamont brings her into an equally tight hug. James disappears and returns with the ultrasound picture that they had framed for his parents as their Christmas present and hands it over to his mum.
“This is amazing.” Euphemia almost cries and once again embraces both James and Lily. Their food goes cold whilst they celebrate the baby James has nicknamed officially ‘nugget’.
~
“So, your mum guessed Lily was pregnant?” Remus clarifies and both James and Lily nod. Remus is about to say something else when they hear a bedroom door open and all three quickly get up and look over to see Sirius’ bedroom door open but no Sirius. They all look between each other, unsure what to do. Sirius hasn’t been out his room in nearly three weeks, they’re not even sure he’s been up right for long that how long it takes for James and Remus to help him drink and eat something each day, even if that is just a sip and a bite that doesn’t leave Sirius in tears.
“What do we do?” James whispers. Both Lily and Remus shrug, neither have been in a situation like this before. Remus knew his mum had suffered from depression but he’d never delt with the aftermath before, that was always his dad’s job and then Remus would join his mum in bed once she’d had a shower and eaten something. Remus would always read to her, usually the same story book that must have gotten boring but his mum never said anything. They then hear Sirius’ bedroom door shut once again.
“How long until dinner?” Remus asks Lily.
“About 10 minutes.” Lily answers and Remus nods. “Go. I’ll come get you when dinner is ready.” She adds and Remus goes over to Sirius’ room, gently knocking on the door. Remus then gently opens the door and finds Sirius sitting on his bed, staring down at the floor.
“Hey.” Remus whispers and Sirius looks up at Remus. His eyes are glassed over with tears and he looks pale and Remus isn’t sure what he prefers, Sirius manic with too much life in his eyes or Sirius depressed with too little life in his eyes. “How are you doing?” he asks and sinks down onto the bed next to the other who doesn’t make any move. “Sirius?” Remus prompts.
“Sorry. I- I- my brain is m-mushed.” Sirius rasps and Remus isn’t surprised, they haven’t heard a word from Sirius in over three weeks so he isn’t surprised his voice sounds so raw. “I- I- I feel dirty.” Sirius then says. Remus nods.
“Ok. Do you want to shower?” He isn’t sure how much to say to Sirius to not make him feel to coddled. Sirius gives an ever so slight nod. “Go shower in my bathroom. I can change your bedding for you, make it nice and clean?” Remus suggests and Sirius nods again, this time slightly firmer.
“P-pyjamas.” Sirius then asks and Remus nods. He knows where Sirius keeps all his clothes, he’s been getting them for Sirius the whole time Regulus was over, both of them not being trusted to be closure to each other than they have to be. Sirius tries to stand for a moment and doesn’t get so far as he then falls back down, Remus gives him a soft smile, his legs must be a little weak from not walking in three weeks.
“Do you want some help?” Remus offers but Sirius shakes his head and eventually goes to Remus’ bathroom. Halfway through Remus battling with Sirius’ fitted mattress cover, Lily enters the room. “Hey. He’s just having a shower. I think he’s coming up,” Remus answers and Lily gives him a soft smile.
“That’s good. Just make sure to call his uncle in the new year.” Remus gives her a reassuring nod. “Dinner is ready,” Lily then adds, sitting in her hip slightly.
“Thanks. I’ll be out in a minute, just help him get settled.” Remus promises and that seems to satisfy Lily as she leaves the room. Remus spends a further few minutes battling with the mattress sheet until Lily comes in and helps him get the last conner in without the other popping to which he is incredibly grateful for. Remus also finds a pair of fresh pyjamas for Sirius, a pair of red plaid bottoms with a long-sleeved black t-shirt. Sirius walks in 5 minutes later; his hair is dripping wet and plastered to his face. “I’ll let you get changed. Do you want anything? Water? Food?” Remus then questions.
“C-could I- could I have some tea?” Sirius asks, his voice quiet and he looks down to his hands, playing with them. Remus smiles and nods.
“Sure. Regular? I have some herbal teas; I know they’re not your thing but they’re pretty tasty.” Remus offers. His mum had always made him herbal tea when he wasn’t feeling 100%, whether that be from his Lupus or an illness, or he just wasn’t sure, she’d always have some form of tea on her.
“Are they sweet?” Remus nods. He can see the clogs going around in Sirius’ brain and he knows that Sirius wants one of his herbal teas but won’t say it out loud.
“Let me go see what we have, ok?” Remus then says and Sirius gives an ever so small nod and crawls into his bed, curling underneath his covers. Remus makes his way into the kitchen and finds James and Lily laughing between themselves, Christmas dinners mostly finished.
“Hey. Your food is in the oven. There’s so many left overs, does Sirius want some?” Lily questions and Remus gives her a smile.
“Just a little, not sure how hungry he is.” Remus answers and moves to find his strawberry and raspberry tea. It doesn’t take long to get everything ready for Sirius and just as he’s about to leave James and Lily alone, Lily passes him two Christmas crackers. “Thank you.” He smiles and heads back to Sirius’ room. He finds Sirius staring up at the ceiling. “Hey. I’ve got some strawberry and raspberry tea and some dinner. I also Christmas crackers if you want to do that,” Remus answers and places down the tray of food. Sirius shifts himself up, leaning up against the headboard of his bed.
“Thanks.” He smiles, letting out a long sigh when he’s sat up. “Could we maybe watch a movie?” He then asks, gladly accepting the tea from Remus, wrapping his fingers around the warm cup.
“Course. Let me go get my laptop.” Remus grins and is back in less than a minute. “Do want some food?” Remus offers as he crawls onto the bed. Sirius gives a hesitant nod, “Just try to have some, don’t have to eat all of it. What do you want to watch?” Remus asks pulling up Netflix.
“Just anything. I’m pretty tired so might fall asleep. Sorry, that’s not much fun for you.” Sirius visibly sinks into himself.
“Don’t be. How about Kung Fu Panda? We’ve not watched that yet.” Remus suggests. He’s been showing Sirius all his favourite cartoons after hearing Sirius hadn’t seen any growing up. Sirius gives a small nod, picking at his food somewhat. They get about 20 minutes into the film and Remus feels a weight drop to his shoulder. He looks down and finds Sirius fast asleep and Remus can’t help but smile. It may not have been the Christmas day he had envisioned for his first Christmas at university but it is definitely one he is going to remember.
“James, are you actually that much of an idiot?” Remus wakes up to Lily’s half shout. It’s New Years Eve and Peter should be home midafternoon and he would like to get more sleep. “No, you don’t sympathy, this is your own making.” Remus groans and moves around to find a jumper and exists the warmth and safety of his room to find out what stupid decision James has made this time. Remus walks out to find that he isn’t the only one that has been drawn out his room from the noise as Sirius is also standing in his door way – hair a mess and still half asleep, a hoodie lazily pulled on.
“But Lily.” Remus hears James whine and then what sounds like throw up. Lily emerges from the bathroom looking rather done with her boyfriend.
“He is an idiot. Decides to make chicken for dinner, forgets to set a timer, showers and miraculously thinks it’s done, so, no James I do not feel any sympathy.” Lily aims the last part towards the bathroom. “Sorry, did I wake you?” she then sighs and Remus gives an ever so slight nod.
“Don’t worry about it. What time is Pete getting back?” Remus shrugs.
“About 1. I was thinking we could watch movies tonight, celebrate the new years that way.” Lily offers looking towards both Remus and Sirius who both nods. “Perfect. I have revoked James’ cooking privileges until he learns to set timers.” Lily then sighs and joins her boyfriend in the bathroom when he starts heaving once again. Remus shakes his head and turns to face Sirius who looks a little pale.
“Are you ok?” Remus questions.
“Yeah- just- I don’t do well with vomit.” Sirius answers.
“You used to watch your-”
“Parents cutting into people I know. Just vomit, can’t do it.” Sirius grimaces when James heaves once again. “I’ve been awake since 5 when he started.” Sirius then adds.
“Come in with me, you can’t hear it from my room.” Remus promises and makes way for Sirius to join him. Sirius doesn’t hesitate and joins Remus in his room, both climb into his bed, Sirius laying in Remus’ arms and head on his chest. “Do you want to go back to sleep?” Remus whispers and Sirius shakes his head.
“Could we listen to some music?” Sirius questions.
“I don’t see why not. What do you want to listen to?” Remus asks grabbing his phone.
“The poster, who is it?” Sirius asks pointing over to Remus’ ‘Green Day’ poster.
“They are a band. We can listen to them if you want.” Remus offers and Sirius nods. Remus smiles and then finds his extensive list of downloaded ‘Green Day’ songs.
It’s almost 4pm when Peter walks into the flat, looking exhausted. Remus and Sirius have both ventured out into the lounge, curled up under a thick knit blanket. Remus has a book in his hands and Sirius a notepad in his, both sharing a set of headphones and Sirius laying on Remus, head carefully nestled onto Remus’ chest. Lily has given into James’ wining and has allowed him to mope on the sofa, head in her lap.
“Peter!” James lets out a weak cheer when Peter walks into the lounge. He gives him a weak wave from his spot on the sofa.
“What happened to you?” Peter asks and leans down to give Lily and gentle hug.
“He ate some chicken he didn’t set a timer for. Idiot.” Lily scoffs at the last word and Peter chuckles. “Come join us, we’re gonna order take away for dinner and watch re-runs of The Big Bang Theory. James move over.” Lily says, making room for Peter next to her. Peter smiles and gladly joins the two on the sofa. “Oblivious those two, been like that for nearly four hours. Neither noticed when this one practically jumped off the sofa about an hour ago.” Lily whispers and Peter smiles. Lily then leans over to grab a pillow James had chucked off the sofa and throws it over to Remus and Sirius, both half jumping out their skins.
“Peter!” Remus smiles and packs away his headphones, Sirius also giving Peter a small wave. “How was your family?” Remus asks.
“Dramatic. I cannot go five minutes in that house without my mum shouting at my cousin for knocking something over, a relative who looks about 200 asking me when I will marry, my older cousins trying to get me drunk and all that’s going on whilst my dad is sat in in his armchair reading the Irish Daily Mail.” Peter says causing his friends to laugh. “Could not leave fast enough.” He then adds chuckling slightly. “What are you drawing Sirius?” Peter then asks.
“It’s rather dark.” Sirius says but that just seems to increase everyone’s curiosity. He looks up at Remus who encourages him and Sirius turns the notepad around to reveal and black, white, and grey drawing of an anatomical heart, split down the middle.
“Oh my god that’s amazing.” Peter says and Sirius blushes slightly.
It’s half twelve in the morning and there’s empty pizza boxes all over the lounge floor. They had pulled out both sofa beds, Remus and Sirius both curled into each other, sharing one side of the entire thing, with Peter on their other side. James and Lily are on the other, James has his arms wrapped around Lily, hands resting on her stomach, Lily’s a top of his. There’s duvets and blankets from around the flat that will take time to untangle and figure out what blanket belongs in what room but that is a problem for when they’re awake. In the moment, with The Big Bang Theory illuminating the five, soon to be six, of them is the perfect moment, even if none of them are awake to enjoy it.