Peter
Peter(Wormtail)Pettigrew:
Peter didn’t really care about kissing girls, or even dating them, but as they got into fifth year it was the only thing everyone was talking about; who they were going to date and who they were going to Hogsmeade with, it made Peter's head spin a little bit. Luckily only James was insane about a girl and it was the same girl for the past four years so he wasn't a stranger to that.
He didn't understand why Remus and Sirius were not affected by this bug that seemed to go around, but he didn’t mind. He was glad that not much had changed in his friend group when everything else was constantly moving. Of course both Sirius and James wouldn’t stop asking Peter about girls and who he fancies; which is no one.
Remus, Sirius and Peter were all sitting in the stands of the quidditch pitch while James was in practice. Remus was reading while Sirius was trying to get his attention. Peter was watching the match and wishing he was athletic enough to join James on the pitch.
When practice was over James joined them in the stands, Lily was a few rows over watching Marlene practice, “Let’s go talk to Lily?” James hadn’t really looked at them but they were used to it, sometimes it was all Peter could do to not strangle him; James had everything and sometimes it was hard for Peter to be around him and his perfect parents.
Lily didn't wait for them to go to her; she sat down next to Remus and started a conversation which Peter promptly ignored. When James didn’t get the attention he was craving from Lily he turned to Sirius. Peter took the opportunity to sneak away and into the library. Peter knew he wasn’t the marauders throw away despite what others always believed but that didn’t mean they didn’t drive him absolutely insane sometimes.
Peter wasn’t an idiot; he knew James would end up with Lily or some other girl, and eventually Sirius and Remus would catch whatever bug was making all the boys want girls and maybe he would catch it but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t. He felt confused, worried he would be alone once they had families and the only thing he could do to forget that feeling was getting better at magic. He knew that he could be the best if he tried, and he was getting there.
One of the girls in his year sits down at the table with a huge book about charms in hand. She seems to notice Peter but doesn’t say anything. She keeps glancing at him and he just finds it annoying; he's trying to study, “Hey Peter.”
Peter sighs before looking up, he feels slightly bad about not knowing her name, “Hey,” he smiles trying to remember her name but nothing comes to mind.
“Donna.” she says looking less enthusiastic.
“Right! I knew that, I promise.” Peter looks back at his book one more time before closing it. Peter may not like the interruption but he can hopefully figure out what's wrong with him. She follows his lead, setting her book in one of the chairs. Peter and her stand up to leave before he remembers Madam Pince will hex them for leaving books at the tables, “We should put the books away before we leave, or Madam Pince will hex us.”
“Right,” Donna picks up her book, “I always forget how serious she is about keeping the books in order.” Peter has to bite back the usual Sirius joke as they go to put the books away.
They spend the afternoon together and Peter tries to pretend to be interested in whatever she's talking about but he can’t, “So, I was wondering, maybe we could go to Hogsmeade together next time the school goes?” He stops walking, caught off guard.
“Um, sure,” Peter smiles, “sounds fun.” Donna heads into the Hufflepuff common room and Peter hits his head against the wall before walking back to the Gryffindor common room. He, quite literally, runs into Lily on the way back.
“Hey Peter! You okay?” Lily readjusts her books while Peter picks up the one she dropped.
“Yeah, sorry for running into you.”
“No problem, I’ve just been so stressed about classes.”
“I get it, maybe you should take a break? Do something fun?”
“Like,” she pauses, putting a hand over her mouth, “oh my merlin, I forgot what fun is.” Lily bows her head and sighs, “whatever will I do?”
“Remus has cigarettes and fire whiskey? I could always break into his trunk and steal some for you?”
“I don’t think me getting drunk by myself is the ideal of fun.”
“You have friends.”
“Yeah but they wouldn't get drunk with me.”
“I’ll get drunk with you.” Peter doesn't realize the words that he's saying but he also doesn't care. Lily stares at him funny before nodding her head.
“Yeah, as long as you don’t tell James or Remus,” she stops for a moment before adding on, “especially Sirius, well I guess any of your friends, I’m not their biggest fan clearly.”
“Don’t worry, it'll be our secret.” Peter and Lily head to the Gryffindor common room; Peter leaves Lily on the couch while he goes to raid Remus’ trunk. The Marauders left a note saying they snuck to honey dukes to refill the snack stash. Peter grabs a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of fire whiskey; when Peter gets back down to the common room Lily is studying again. He doesn't bother talking, he just grabs the book and shuts it; they walk out the courtyard and find a secluded place. Lily takes the packs of cigarettes first and fails to light one. Peter can't help but laugh as he lights his own then hers, “you've never smoked before?” Peter takes a puff, almost coughing.
“Nope, my friends don’t like smoking, and it's not like I'm hanging out with you guys ever.” Lily fails coughing as the smoke burns her lungs.
“I figured Mary would be okay with smoking and drinking?”
“She’s not opposed, but when they're around me, suddenly studying is all that matters.” She tries the fire whiskey but almost gags at the taste. Peter is unbothered by the taste of the fire whiskey and it's shocking to Lily that he seems so unbothered by drinking, “why do you guys always drink?”
“We don't?”
“I mean, you guys seem so okay with drinking? And smoking.”
“Oh, yeah, we drink more than others I guess, but we're not always drinking.”
“Okay, I saw you with that girl? Donna? Right?”
“Yeah, Donna.” Peter repeats.
“Do you like her?” Lily takes another sip and it goes down a little easier.
“I don’t know? I mean she's nice, but I don’t feel the same way that James does when he's talking about-” Peter pauses realizing where this sentence is going.
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
“You know that not everyone will feel that right away? Besides, I don’t think he really likes me.”
“What if I've never felt that? What if I've never even thought about a girl in that way?”
“What about… boys?” Lily didn’t want to act rash; she didn’t care if Peter was into boys, she already knew Remus was.
“No.” It was barely a whisper, Peter knew boys liked boys but he didn’t, he didn’t like anyone that was the problem, “No one, ever.”
Lily wasn’t sure how to respond but she didn’t want to upset him, “that's okay, maybe you'll like people when you're older?”
“I don’t think I will.”
“Okay, that's okay, you still have me, and the… Marauders,” that was hard for Lily to say but she got a smile out of him, “we’re always gonna be there for you, no matter what you do, well, maybe not if you sell any of us out to Voldemort.” They both laugh and Peter nudges her arm slightly.
“I would never do that,” she laughed and nodded knowing he was right.
“I know, thanks Peter, for everything?” he nods and they keep drinking and smoking.
By the end of the night Lily is pretty drunk; despite never drinking before, she tried to keep up with Peter. Peter is definitely buzzed but he can manage. Lily is giggling the entire way, “you know-”
“Shh Lily, we need to be quiet. We can let James know.” Peter knew that would work, Lily liked James, even if she didn’t admit it.
“Right!” Peter gets Lily to the stairs and realizes he can’t help her get up them; this might not be the best plan in the world but he's sticking to it, “I can just… sleep on the couch.” She starts to go over to the couch and trips before Peter can catch her. He helps her up and decides the couch might be the best option.
“What's going on?” Remus sees Peter before he sees Lily.
“Remus!” she sits up and tries to get off the couch, failing of course.
“We kind of, got drunk and I didn’t realize how lightweight Lily was.” Lily brushed Peter off and Remus helped her get off the couch.
“We gotta get her to her room, she’d be pissed if anyone saw her hungover.”
“I don’t know how we’re supposed to get her up the stairs?” Peter looks defeated and Remus debates the options they have.
“Why’d you guys get drunk?”
“She was stressed about school and I… I just needed a break from you guys.” Remus nods; if anyone understands the need to get away from the Marauders it's Remus.
“Maybe we just bring her up to our dorm?” Remus suggests and Peter can’t help but agree; this may be a worse idea but who knows. Remus picks up Lily and they make their way to the boys dormitory. Peter doesn't wait for Remus to find a sleeping situation; the alcohol is catching up with him and all he wants to do is sleep. He closes the curtains around his bed and closes his eyes, for the first time he doesn't feel alone or broken. Someone is okay with him being alone, with him not liking someone. No matter what happens he knows he'll have Lily and that makes it okay.