Cheerleader

Day by day Dazai's hate and jealousy for Nakahara grew. She was almost thinking about Nakahara more than she was thinking about Kunikida, which angered Dazai even more. Jealousy rose in Dazai every time she saw the two girls together, and what made it worse was that they looked so good together. Unlike Dazai with Kunikida, Nakahara looked like she belonged next to Kunikida. Now as Dazai watched them walk down the hallway together, her hatred grew. Nakahara was clinging onto Kunikida's arm. Their height difference was incredibly noticeable, but it didn't look wrong. To an outsider it looked like the two girls were just good friends, but from someone who had been watching people for a long time, Kunikida and Nakahara were dating. Being gay was not uncommon in their all girls school, but that didn't mean it was widely accepted. 

Dazai tugged on the bandage around her wrist, tightening it as she dragged herself to her next class. She snuck looks at the two girls in front of her. Kunikida was gorgeous, but she was nothing compared to Nakahara. The brunette sighed to herself. She wanted to stop thinking about the two girls, but it was such a struggle. Trying to control your love for one person and hate for another was not an easy task. Longing was all she felt. Dazai hated herself for it. She didn't want to fall in love with Kunikida, but she did. It pained her. All Dazai felt when she looked at the two girls together was jealousy. However, Dazai wasn't sure if she was jealous of their relationship in general or the fact that Kunikida was dating someone that wasn't her. Maybe it was something different entirely. Honestly, Dazai didn't want to dissect her feelings. She wanted them gone. On the other hand, Dazai wished that she could be Nakahara. She wanted to be the one who Kunikida loved.

Suddenly, the bell rang, snapping Dazai out of her thoughts. She was alone in the hallway, and she noticed that she had gone past her class. Sighing, Dazai continued down the hallway and slipped into the bathroom.  When Dazai sat down on the toilet tank in a stall, she heard footsteps and voices. Dazai drew in a breath, recognizing one of the voices. It was Nakahara. Nervously, Dazai tugged at the bandages on her wrist. Even with her jealousy, Dazai was terrified of the cheerleader. Nakahara seemed so confident and full of herself, it was scary. However, Dazai envied her for that too. 

Dazai heard the other girl bid a farewell to Nakahara, meaning the two girls were alone in the bathroom, but Dazai in a stall. Before she knew what she was doing, Dazai opened the stall door and found herself face to face with Nakahara. The cheerleader was shorter than her, but that didn't stop Dazai from recognizing the beauty she held. Nakahara narrowed her eyes at the brunette, when she saw her. Dazai forgot to move after stepping out of the stall, making Nakahara suspicious of her.

"Who are you?" Nakahara asked coldly, looking Dazai up and down.

"Osamu Dazai..." Dazai nervously returned in a mumble.

A smile grew on Nakahara's face, creating confusion in Dazai. "You're the girl that Doppo told me about." the ginger said. "You're prettier than I expected."

"Pretty, you really think so?" Dazai asked nervously. She didn't expect someone as gorgeous as Nakahara to compliment her like this.

The cheerleader nodded, stepping closer to the other girl. "If you grew your hair out a bit, I think you'd look better though." she commented, running her fingers through the ends of a piece of Dazai's dark brown hair.

"I can do that!" Dazai responded excitedly, a blush growing on her face at the closeness of the two girls. 

"Maybe get rid of these bandages too." Nakahara said, tracing her finger along the bandages on Dazai's neck. Even through the layer of bandage, Dazai could feel the warmth of Chuuya's finger. She swallowed, nervousness rising along with her growing blush. The ginger smiled up at Dazai. "I think you'd make a good cheerleader."

Dazai looked down at the other girl in surprise. As much as she wanted to be a cheerleader like Nakahara, she knew that she didn't have the skills for it. Plus, that would mean taking off her bandages, and she couldn't do that. "I don't think that's a good idea..." Dazai responds, chuckling nervously. 

"Why not? With a pretty face like yours, you could get all the boys-- or girls -- that you want." Nakahara presses on with a bitter smile on her face.

If Dazai was being honest, she'd tell Nakahara that she wanted to be a cheerleader to catch Kunikida's attention, but she couldn't do that. Instead she said, "I prefer watching from the bleachers. I'm more skilled with music than sports anyway." 

"That's a shame." the shorter girl sighs. "If you change your mind just tell me, and I'll make the arrangements for you, Dazai." She pulled a pen out of her pocket and took off the cap with her teeth, holding it between her lips, as she grabbed Dazai's hand and wrote down her number on it.

Dazai swallowed. She could feel the warmth of Nakahara's hand against her own cold hands. Even this small of contact was making Dazai go crazy. Nervousness overtook the brunette, making her unable to even say goodbye when Nakahara left the bathroom. Their interaction seemed to have lasted forever, but when Dazai checked the time, the period wasn't even half done. The feelings that Dazai was currently experiencing were too complicated for even someone who spent half her time thinking to figure out. Thoughts circled around Dazai's mind. Maybe she didn't hate Nakahara as much as she thought, or maybe that was Nakahara messing with her emotions. Honestly, Dazai didn't want to think about. She just wanted to go home and sleep, but she couldn't so that because she knew that she would have to deal with skipping a class. She brought these things on herself, making her anxiety grow deeper. 

Home. Dazai was happy to be in her bed, but what happened with Nakahara kept running through her mind. She wasn't entirely sure why she didn't say yes to becoming a cheerleader. It would get Kunikida's attention like she wanted. It would make her more like Nakahara. Dazai envied Nakahara so much that she wasn't sure if she was at the point of wanting to be her or wanting her, which unsettled Dazai. The thought that she may be falling for Nakahara wasn't unfamiliar, but it felt odd. There wasn't a day that passed by that Dazai wasn't weirded out by her own feelings. 

Dazai rolled out of her bed, messing up her hair. She wandered over to her mirror. Looking at herself stripped of her bandages was an odd sight. Typically, Dazai refused from looking at herself when not wearing her bandages, but lately she became slightly more comfortable with the idea. Dazai thought back to what Nakahara said. Maybe she could go a day without her bandages. Maybe then Kunikida would notice her again, or maybe Nakahara would. Dazai's heart leaped at the idea of it. Tomorrow she would go to school stripped of her bandages. It was decided.