Chapter 2
Dorcas Meadowes sat on the floor of the train bathroom with her arms hugging her knees and her head thrown back onto the wall. She silently thanked the witch (yes it was a woman, obviously) who thought of putting an expanding charm on the bathrooms.
This was not her first panic attack nor will it be her last, but nevertheless, Dorcas wasn’t prepared for it.
She assumed this was happening because of the stress of school starting but her thoughts weren’t necessarily coherent while she was in this state. She could barely breathe, and her heart was going a mile a minute.
She moved her hand to her hair and started pulling at it, hoping the physical pain might bring her back to reality. She had no idea how long this specific panic attack was going to last, but she hoped it would end soon. This time there were no tears or anything like that, she was just sitting on the floor hyperventilating. At least it would be easier to cover up.
She closed her eyes and imagined her dad who had raised her all on his own since she was 9. He always knew how to comfort her in these situations whether that was hugging her, talking to her about random things or even singing to her.
Dorcas had grown up in a very musical household. Her mum was an aspiring singer and her dad was a guitarist. They were both very talented and would often play her to sleep when she was younger. That was before. Before the panic attacks. Before the nightmares. Before she cried herself to sleep for many long nights.
She thought of her mum's voice and her dad’s guitar and she once again felt like a little kid. It worked. Thank Merlin it worked.
Dorcas picked herself up off the ground like she’d had to do many times and looked in the mirror. She looked like shit. Of course she did, she had just spent god knows how long on the floor of a public bathroom. She needed a shower asap. It would have to wait though, but she didn’t want to think of the long night she was in for.
Just then, Dorcas heard someone mumbling on the other side of the door. She quickly readjusted her robes and uniform making sure there was no toilet paper on her, then unlocked the door and slid it open.
On the other side, she was met with none other than Marlene McKinnon. The blonde looked just as annoyed as Dorcas felt. Merlin she was annoying and always seemed to show up when Dorcas was in some kind of mental distress. “Oh, it’s you.” Dorcas said upon finding Marlene waiting. “Yeah it’s me. Were you hoping to find David Bowie?” Marlene scoffed. “Whatever.” Dorcas said as she pushed past Marlene making her way back to her seat.
Dorcas hoped Marlene couldn’t tell that she had just had a panic attack. What was she thinking? Even if she did notice which was highly unlikely, she wouldn’t care. All Marlene ever seemed to care about was herself and her stupid house. And they called Slytherins selfish. No, that was all Gryffindors with their ‘house pride’ only looking after each other. Dorcas had never had a conversation with a Gryffindor and enjoyed it, let alone a conversation with McKinnon. Every time they talked one of them ended up at best being sent out of class. Maybe that was a little dramatic, but still, it was accurate in some ways.
Dorcas realized she had spaced out and walked right past her compartment. She sighed at her own lack of awareness and turned around trying to gauge how far she had gone. She saw that the bathroom wasn’t too far away so she should only have to backtrack a little bit.
After accidentally finding a couple snogging in one of the compartments, Dorcas finally found her dormmates and only friends Narcissa Black and Adeline Greengrass. She slid open the compartment door and saw them getting their trunks from the overhead storage. “Are we here already?” Dorcas asked. “Yeah, what took you so long? I was starting to get worried?” Narcissa said while brushing her long blonde hair out of her face.
Dorcas put on fake puppy dog eyes and said“Wait, Adie, you weren’t worried about me? I thought I was your favorite?” “Oh yeah, right next to Lucius.” Adeline responded with her characteristic grin, causing all the girls to giggle. It was well known to the Slytherin’s at least, that Lucius Malfoy, a current 7th year at Hogwarts, was one of the most stuck up, intolerant little shits that you would ever have the displeasure of meeting.
“No, but seriously, where were you Dorcas?” Narcissa reiterated in a more serious tone. “Oh don’t worry, there was just a long line to get to the bathroom. A bunch of first years forgot to change I guess.” The lies came easy at this point.
“Right, well come on then girls, I’m starving and standing here talking isn’t getting me any closer to the food!” Adeline always let them know when she was getting impatient. Narcissa reached into the bag she always had with her and pulled out a container of pumpkin pasties. She handed them to Adeline and said in a very motherly tone, “Don’t eat all of them before dinner.”
“What else have you got in there? A house elf?” Dorcas joked.
“No, how would I keep a house elf alive in my bag? I don’t think that would work.”
“It was a joke Cissy.”
“Oh.”
And they laughed.