Passion
“It was the lark, the herald of the morn, no nightingale. Look, love, what envious --”
“Stop! Try it again, with passion, Remus!”
“It was the lark, the herald of the morn, no nightingale. Look, love, w--”
“The passion! Where’s the passion?!”
“It was the lark, the herald of the morn --”
“Stop! Just fucking stop wasting everyone’s time!” Severus let out a loud sigh that heightened to a roar, and slammed his script down on the chair next to him. “Remus, have you no idea what I mean by ‘passion’?”
“With all due respect, Severus, if you’re not getting what you want out of me, you might have to offer me some actual direction. There’s only so much I can do with the word ‘passion,’ and I think I’ve done it.”
Sirius, who was taking the actors’ measurements to give to the costume department, couldn’t resist a sly little fist-pump. Atta boy, Reems, he thought, make the picky prick do his damn job. Severus had been on him all day, relentlessly, with criticisms of everything from his pacing to his diction to his use of space on the stage, and had hardly said a word to the other actors, even though Remus was better and more experienced than the rest. It was driving Sirius mad.
“Very well then,” Severus said, “I’ll show you what I’m looking for.” And with that he went up the four steps out of the audience to the stage, crossed briskly to where Romeo and Juliet were standing in the spot that would be Juliet’s balcony, and stood very close to Remus. “Have you ever fucked a woman?” he asked him bluntly.
Remus teetered back a little as if the question had literally thrown him off balance, but he raised his eyebrows and answered, “Yes, of course.”
“And have you ever,” Severus reached out across the extra couple of inches that had opened up between them and placed his hands very delicately on Remus’s shoulders, so that they almost hovered on a thin film of air, “had your body… ravaged… by a man.” As he spoke, he moved his hands slowly down past the shoulders to Remus’s hips, still barely touching him.
Sirius saw Remus stiffen uncomfortably, take another step back, and nod wordlessly in answer, otherwise holding himself very still. He didn’t always like to be touched. Well, he never had a problem with Sirius’ hands on him or arms around him, and could be very cuddly with people he knew well, but Severus was still new. Easy there, Moony. Sirius tried to will his friend to hear the thought. You’re not in any danger here.
Severus smiled. “Then use those experiences. Remember you’ve just made love to Juliet all night and you wish that you could stay and do it again and again until you drop dead of utter exhaustion. Please tell me you know what that feels like.”
Remus didn’t respond. Severus shooed Bellatrix out of the scene and gestured for Remus to take her place as Juliet.
“It was the lark,” Severus began, and as he recited Romeo’s lines he grabbed Remus sharply by the upper arms and pulled him to his breast in what was no doubt meant to be one swift movement, but Remus came clumsily, haltingly. “The herald of the morn, no nightingale.”
Severus continued reciting lines to his awkwardly held Juliet, rubbing his hands all over the man’s arms and back and through his hair, while Remus stood so stiff it looked as though he would be snapped in half by Severus’ embrace. Sirius thought of intervening but worried it would embarrass Remus. Bella ended up stepping in, though, making less of a scene than Sirius would have and drawing less attention since she was already on the stage with them.
“He gets it now, don’t you?” she said, taking Remus’ arm and gently drawing him away.
When Severus’ hands were off him, Remus blinked and looked around as if he were just waking out of a trance. “Yes,” he said, “I understand. More touching. Touching Bella, I mean. I can do that, thank you, Severus.”
“I have no doubt you can,” said Severus, turning his back dismissively as he spoke and walking away.
Sirius watched as Remus mumbled his reassurance that he was fine to Bella, who was patting his shoulder comfortingly. Remus lowered his head for a moment, getting back into character, and began the scene again. This time he got through it without Severus stopping him. Sirius had to hand it to Severus, having Remus embrace Bella really did let the passion flow through.
When the scene was complete, Severus said, “Good, let’s take ten minutes!” and Sirius joined the actors backstage for their break.
He flopped onto a scattering of oversize floor pillows and lay down, stretching his arms over his head and yawning.
“Don’t fall asleep,” Remus said, lying down beside him. “Severus will likely have a hissy fit if he sees his stage manager yawning.” He put on a mockingly low Severus Snape voice, “‘Where is your passion for this job, Sirius Black?’”
They laughed and Sirius brought his arm down for Remus to lay on. Minerva encouraged her actors to be very close, both emotionally and physically so, because it helped them let loose with one another on stage. To that end she had them do trust exercises, such as falling backwards into each other’s arms (Remus trusted only Sirius to catch him, and Minerva had stopped coaxing him to push past his fear when she saw the tears in his eyes. “You have your boundaries, Remus, and you must protect them. I see that now,” she’d said.) and she kept the backstage area cozy with beanbag chairs and cushions all over the floor to encourage cuddle piles.
“No matter if they’re full grown, actors are just children playing pretend on a large scale,” Minerva said, “so why not behave like it? Hug your friends, snuggle up, roll yourselves in fluffy blankets together like a bunch of oversized kindergarteners.”
And so they did, nearly every chance they got. Within seconds of the two men lying down together, Sybill and Gilderoy had joined them, the former resting her head on Remus’ chest and the latter stretching out on the other side of Sirius.
Sirius bent his head until his lips were in Remus’ hair and he could smell the faint soapy scent of cheap drugstore shampoo. “You okay?” he asked. “Severus was getting pretty handsy with you.”
Remus tilted his head to smile up at him, their faces so close that Sirius could feel the little puffs of breath from Remus’ nose warm his cheek. As Remus opened his mouth to speak, they heard the stern voice of Severus above them.
“What are you four doing on the floor?” he demanded.
Gilderoy answered, “Getting cozy. It’s more common around here than you’d guess.”
Severus made an unimpressed “humph” sound.
“It’s all loving energy and positive vibes here,” said Sybill. She patted Remus’s tummy and grinned. “We’re always snuggling together, talking and laughing, going for drinks after rehearsal… Hey, Severus you should come out tonight! We could all go to Joe Reed’s Pub and get to know you better.”
Severus thought it over, then gave a tight smile. “Yes,” he said, “I’d like that. Now get up off the floor, break’s over.”