i wanna be your dog

So messed up I want you here

In my room I want you here

Now we're gonna be Face-to-face

And I'll lay right down In my favorite place

And now I wanna be your dog

If there was one thing that Sirius Black hated more than anything, it was double Potions with the Slytherins at 7 in the morning. He followed James down and around the staircases in a daze, feeling very much like he was still asleep. He had slept through most of breakfast and barely managed to choke down his coffee before it was time to leave, which wasn’t unusual for the days they had Potions - he tried to avoid the class at all costs. 

As they walked into the damp and dark dungeon classroom, Sirius spotted Remus huddled over a textbook with Lily and huffed. He missed the days when Remus opted to be his partner for potions - if only for the top marks, of course. They weren’t not talking, but their latest spat had stretched longer than usual, an entire month, and it was beginning to blister his ego. He huffed and threw himself into the chair beside James and kicked his feet up onto the table in front of him, knocking the cauldron with the toe of his boot.
“You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if you just actually tried to get through it instead of acting like an absolute knob the entire class.” James said and shoved him playfully.

“You know,” Sirius said, mocking James’s tone exactly, “After all of this Prefect business, you sound more and more like Lily each day, Prongs.” He flipped his hair over his shoulder and rolled his neck, locking his eyes with James’s. “Quite frankly, it’s alarming.” Sirius finished, leaning back and rocking his chair on its two back legs. 

James scoffed, “Suit yourself,” and turned to talk to Marlene about the upcoming Quidditch match against the Ravenclaws. Sirius promptly zoned out. 

The Slytherin students began to file in, Severus Snape making it a point to choose the seat directly behind Remus and Lily, which Sirius noted with intrigue. Certainly Severus didn’t think that Remus and Lily...no, there was no way. Sirius chuckled to himself and sat up straight. That was such an insane idea, just because they spent so much time studying together in the library...and the common room...and ate most meals together lately...but Remus wouldn’t do that to James. Right? Right. It was an absurd idea. He was embarrassed to have even thought about it. He watched Lily giggle into the back of her hand and lean into Remus’s side, and thought that it was possible they could’ve been more than friends if Remus didn’t know how much it would hurt James. 

Sirius shook himself and started to pull his things out of his bag reluctantly. Just as he had finished piling his books and supplies onto the table, Professor Slughorn waltzed in the room with his usual air of whimsy and the class went silent.

“Good morning, everyone! I hope everyone has studied the materials for what we will cover today.” Slughorn clambered his way to the front of the room and set his books and parchment down on the front bench. “If everyone could please come up to the front, we have a very exciting lesson today.” The students all rose at once and piled unevenly into a row at the front of the room, Sirius bumping into Remus, who barely looked his way. Sirius crossed his arms across his chest petulantly.

“Now, who can tell me what is sitting in this cauldron? Mr. Potter?” Slughorn looked over at James with a twinkle in his eye. Another trophy for the Slug Club… Sirius thought, trying to hold in an eye roll. 

“Um, I believe it’s amortentia, Professor.” James smiled brightly and Sirius watched Snape roll his eyes for a different reason than Sirius would’ve. 

“Wonderful! Thank you, Mr. Potter. Miss Evans, could you please explain to the class what exactly amortentia is?” 

Lily cleared her throat and stepped forward slightly.

“Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. Every person smells something different depending on what or who attracts them. Amortentia can cause delirious obsession for whoever drinks it.” Lily leaned slightly forward as if trying to dive head-first into the cauldron. 

“Correct! Brilliant, Miss Evans! 10 points for Gryffindor.” The Slytherins in the room groaned irritably. Slughorn was notorious for rarely giving House Points to any house except Slytherin, but he had a soft spot for Lily Evans, much like everyone else in the school did. Who could blame him? 

“What, may I ask, do you smell in the cauldron?”

Lily leaned forward, fully smelling the potion. Her eyes lit up and she sighed dreamily.

“I smell...the ocean, like salt air...and...a fresh fire burning in a hearth...kind of like the common room…” She leaned forward even more, almost brushing her nose against the pearlescent gleam of the liquid swirling below. “And...broomstick...polish.” She gasped and snapped herself back, an uneven flush nearly matching the red of her hair rising over the apples of her freckled cheeks. Murmurs and snickers filled the silence and Lily stepped back, clearly embarrassed to be the first one to admit what she was smelling. Sirius caught James’s eye, noticing a matching blush covering his cheeks, as well.

“Wonderful, wonderful! Alright, who’s next, then? Everyone gets a turn!” Slughorn clapped his hands together excitedly and waited for the next volunteer eagerly. 

“Alright, I’ll go.” Mary called from the back of the classroom, evidently just wanting to get the class over with.

“I smell coffee. Gods, that’s...very strong on the coffee. Um. I also smell apples...and something sweet, like...candy floss?” Mary stepped back and scrunched her nose. “Weird combo.” 

“Great job, Miss MacDonald! Lovely. Let’s keep going, step right up!” One by one, other students lined up to smell the shimmering potion. 

Severus stepped up just before Remus, leaning forward with a scowl on his face and inhaling shallowly.

“I smell wildflowers,” His face began to relax. Was amortentia really the thing to relieve Snape of his horrible attitude and constant awful mood? Sirius would happily slip it to him at breakfast from now on if that was the case. “And...caramel...and...fresh spring water.” Severus stepped back, dreary attitude fully back in tact and stalked back to his seat.

“Thank you, Severus.” Slughorn sighed, with an uneasy smile. “Mr. Lupin? Please, go ahead.”

Remus stepped up and leaned in, and for some reason Sirius’s heart sped up. He realized he was dying to know what Remus smelled in the potion, his curiosity getting the better of him as he followed Remus’s movements with his eyes so closely he could see the tiniest twinge of his nose as he inhaled. 

“Well, I smell...something...woodsy, it’s almost mahogany? Maybe pine, um, very familiar…” Remus sighed and closed his eyes softly, Sirius watching the way his eyelashes grazed the skin below. “There’s...cigarette smoke...and...mo-” Remus snapped his mouth shut and stepped back, shocked. Slughorn leaned forward, smiling expectantly. 

“Yes? What was the last thing, Mr. Lupin?” Remus stuttered and began backing up quickly.

“It was, uh- it was- motor oil.” He turned and walked quickly back to his seat, plopping down into the chair with wide eyes. 

Everyone looked around, confused at Remus’s reaction. James had a smug grin climbing onto his lips and Sirius felt as lost as ever. 

Motor oil? Who smelled like motor oil? Why did smelling motor oil make Remus so upset? 

“Oh, wonderful, Mr. Lupin! Very strong reaction, eh? You next, Black.” 

Sirius gulped and stepped forward, watching the liquid swirl. He felt like he was being pulled in, as the scents began filling his nose.

“Oh wow,” He sighed. “That’s nice.” He paused for a moment, just breathing in, before remembering he was supposed to be explaining what he was experiencing. “Oh, sorry, I smell...tea...and old books, like the library...and...laundry detergent.” He inhaled deeply once more and a wave of confusion washed over him. “Oh. Oh...and chocolate.” He stepped back, and blinked, the trance he was in lifting just enough for him to begin feeling the eyes of every student in the classroom watching him. 

“Great job, Mr. Black! Alright, Potter, now you! Go on, my boy!” Slughorn clapped James on the back as he walked confidently up to the cauldron. Sirius slumped in his seat and sent a quick glance towards Remus, who was chewing on his thumb nail with a confused and almost scared look on his face. Sirius felt the same way, trying to place why he smelled what he smelled and who or what it could possibly point to. 

“It’s...ink, and...flowery perfume...and fresh linen.” James leaned forward, not pulling away quickly like the rest had, seeming as if he could drown in the cauldron and it would be fine.

“Oh, wonderful, James! Now, Miss McKinnon!”

Sirius watched James come closer and drop down in the seat next to him dreamily. 

“What’s got you so dopey, Bambi?” James looked over, his glasses slightly askew on his nose and smiled.

“It was Lily, of course. Smelled just like her, isn’t that so wonderful?” He leaned forward and propped himself up on the table by his elbows, still smiling. He watched Lily, who was whispering to Remus, with such a loving look it made Sirius sick. 

Drowning out the noise of Peter figuring out what he smelled in the cauldron, Sirius had found himself watching Remus. Remus was clearly confused and troubled by what he had discovered from the amortentia, and Sirius wondered if now would be a good time to end their current feud. He could comfort Remus, surely, or even help him find the girl. Slughorn returned to the front of the room to begin the lesson and Sirius tried his best to pay attention to him instead of making sure Remus stopped worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. 

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Later, at lunch, Remus still looked like at any moment he might be sick. He was also very obviously avoiding eye contact with Sirius, which was beginning to irritate him quite a bit. He couldn’t even remember what had caused them to be angry with each other in the first place, and would’ve been more than willing to make amends, had Remus not been treating him like a leper since Potions. As Remus stood and walked away from their spot at the Gryffindor tables to make his way to Arthimancy, Sirius shot up and followed him out of the Great Hall. 

“Oi, Moony!” Remus stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly.

“Yes, Sirius?” Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and fell in line next to the other boy.

“Er...I was going to see if you wanted some company on your walk to class.” Sirius mentally kicked himself. He could’ve gone about that in a completely less awkward way.

“Oh. Um. That’s alright. Thanks, though.” Remus began walking quickly away from him, and Sirius, being stubborn, caught up and kept walking with him.

“Remus, there’s no way you’re still upset with me. I don’t even remember what we were fighting about!”
“No, I’m not upset with you, Pads. Just - really need to um...go over these formulas, y’know.” Remus started flipping his book open, dodging a third year and smiling sheepishly over at Sirius.

“Really, not a big deal, we’re fine.” Sirius reached over and grabbed the book out of Remus’s hands.

“Well, then, let me help you! What are friends for, right, Moonbeam?” Remus huffed, his cheeks turning the softest shade of pink (not that Sirius noticed), and grabbed the book back from him.

“Sirius, I’m really fine.” Sirius went to pull the book out of Remus’s hands again and Remus pulled back harder, trying to keep the upper hand. 

“Why are you being so weird, Remus?” Sirius huffed and pulled the book again, Remus’s grip not faltering and landing Sirius’s back against the stone wall. Remus towered over Sirius, nearly falling into him with the momentum of Sirius tugging on his book, the space between them only as large as the texbook. Remus’s pinky brushed his index finger and their eyes locked, Remus’s wide, green, and panicked. Sirius realized their position would look a little suspicious to anyone who didn’t know them, with Sirius backed into the wall and Remus hovering over him, but he didn’t mind. They had always been a little affectionate and in each other’s space. 

“I’m- I’m not being weird, okay?! Just leave it alone!” Remus tugged the book back, finally, leaving Sirius staring down at him as he walked down the hall. Something was definitely going on and Sirius intended on finding out exactly what. He turned and stalked to the Charms classroom, devising a plan in his head.

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After Charms, Sirius and James piled through the portrait hole, James very clearly trying to get away from Sirius.

“No, Sirius, I will not help you with this. That’s Moony’s business and he’ll tell us when he’s ready.”
“C’mon, Prongs, you know damn well that he won’t tell me, but someone needs to help him! I mean, Potions really messed him up, you should’ve seen him before he went to Arthrimancy-”

James threw himself down on the sofa with a loud sigh.

“Sirius, you both are so stubborn and so incredibly blind.” Sirius paused on his way to the armchair next to the hearth.

“What do you mean?” James looked up at him, eyebrows scrunched together and mouth wide open.
“...you mean, you really don’t know?” 

“What do you mean? What don’t I know?” James sat up with a secretive smile on his face, laughs escaping from behind his straight, white teeth.

“Oh, Merlin, this is incredible. You don’t know?! Oh, wow.” James clutched his stomach, still laughing at Sirius’s expense.

“Come out with it then, James.” Sirius said, his irritation growing with every second.

“No, no, I can’t. This is going to be good.” 

“What’s going to be good?” Lily said from the stairs. Sirius fell into the plush armchair and curled his knees to his chest, pouting and glaring daggers at his best friend. 

“Sirius is asking about what’s going on with Remus.” James emphasized with a pointed look at Lily, who blanched and walked towards him quickly.

“Oh, James, what did you do?!” She nearly yelled, smacking him with her textbook.

“Nothing! Don’t worry, Evans, I said nothing!”
“Said nothing about what?!” Sirius grumbled.

“Nothing!” Lily and James said at the same time, both looking at Sirius nervously. 

“Am I the only one who doesn’t know why Remus was upset?” Sirius set his feet onto the floor, realization sinking in. “I’m the only one who doesn’t know, aren’t I? I’m the only one he hasn’t told?”

Sirius knew they had been fighting, knew he had done something stupid to make Remus upset with him, but that was ages ago. He thought they were still friends and that he would’ve shared something that seemed so important with him. The fact that he hadn’t stung.
“No. Sirius...it’s not...it’s not like that, ok?” Lily said evenly.

Sirius nodded stiffly and rose from his chair. 

“It’s fine. He doesn’t owe it to me, does he? I’m going to go up and rest before dinner. See you guys.” 

He took the stairs to their dorm two at a time and slammed the door shut behind himself. He didn’t put on a record, and he didn’t grab a book, just fell into his four-poster and drew the curtains around himself. 

He knew he was pouting, maybe even childishly throwing a little bit of a fit, but he couldn’t believe that a silly fight had turned into a month of Remus not speaking to him and him not speaking to Remus. He could admit that he missed him, Remus was his best friend. He had tried to make it right, to be friendly with him and walk with him to class, and it hadn’t worked. Now, he was the last one to know why Remus was so upset about what he had smelled in the Amortentia, and it hurt. It hurt to feel like he had completely ruined their friendship and he couldn’t even remember what he had done. He buried his face into the pillow and ran through the events of the day in his head. Remus sitting with Lily in Potions, Remus being so shocked by his reaction to the Amortentia, Remus reading at lunch, and Remus being so weird with him in the hallway. He kept replaying the last moment over and over in his head, trying to piece together what he did wrong. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the door open and didn’t realize that someone else was in the dorm with him until he heard Remus’s soft voice from just outside the curtains.

“Sirius? You in there?” Sirius sighed and sat up, folding his knees underneath him. He knew that Remus knew he was in there, with his heightened werewolf senses there was no way he didn’t. 

“Yeah. I’m here.” Sirius pulled the curtain back to find Remus standing right beside his bed, his hands folded into the sleeves of a soft looking sweater, and a shy smile on his face.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Sirius scooted over to make room for Remus to sit next to him against the headboard. 

“Is it ok if I sit?” Sirius nodded, and gestured toward the open space next to him.

Remus climbed in next to him, stretching his long legs out across the expanse of the bed. Their shoulders brushed lightly and Sirius avoided looking towards him, suddenly finding his own hands very interesting.

“How are you?” Remus asked softly, looking at Sirius through the ends of his curly, honey brown hair.

“Alright.” Sirius replied, shrugging. Remus nodded.

“James said you’re a bit upset.” Sirius winced. 

“Dunno what he’s talking about. I’m fine.” 

“It’s okay if you are, you know.” Remus said, bumping his shoulder against Sirius’s, who only shrugged. 

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, yeah, heard you the first time, didn’t I? It’s okay if you are, but I just wanted to tell you that I didn’t purposefully keep anything from you. James and Lily figured it out on their own.” Sirius looked over at Remus and noticed the lightest pink tint spreading across his freckled nose. 

“Did they?” Remus nodded and grinned bashfully.

“Surprised you haven’t, to be honest.” Sirius finally met Remus’s eyes and tilted his head in question.

“Me? How would I have figured it out? You never talk to me about girls.” Remus cleared his throat and looked down at his hands, pulling the sleeves of his sweater further over his hands. 

“Um, well, that’s because...well, at least for the amortentia...it wasn’t um, it wasn’t a girl.” Sirius watched Remus brace for impact, but he only nodded in reply.

“Oh. Okay. Well, you never talk to me about boys either, Moony.” Sirius decided to let go of his grumpy mood and bumped his shoulder against Remus’s. Remus looked back up, grinning, and bumped his shoulder back against Sirius’s. 

“Can’t talk to you about boys, Sirius.” SIrius scoffed.

“Why not?!” Remus shook his head and sighed.

“Do you really not know?” Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and leaned his head back against his headboard. This had been the most confusing day of his life and it was only getting more confusing as the time ticked on.

“I guess not? I’m a bit confused, if I’m honest.”

Remus sighed.

“Right. Okay. Nevermind, then. So...your amortentia...what’d you think?”
Sirius sighed. 

“I’ve been trying to figure it out all day, well, the parts I wasn’t worried sick about you.” Sirius smiled over at the other boy and winked.

“Oh, shut up, I wasn’t that bad.” Sirius gasped and sat up onto his knees, turning to face Remus fully.

“Moons, yes you were. You were bloody miserable, pouting like a puppy at lunch and practically running away from me after. Trying to steal my gig, Lupin? I’m the dog, you know.” Remus laughed at him, eyes sparkling, and shoved Sirius lightly by his shoulder. Sirius scoffed and shoved him back playfully. 

“I was not pouting, Padfoot.” Remus put his hand out as if to shove him again as Sirius scooted closer, and Remus’s hand missed his shoulder, giving Sirius time to grab him by the wrist.

“Admit you were pouting, Moony, or I’ll have to unleash my wrath on you.” Remus giggled, bright and wonderful in the small space and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“C’mon, time’s ticking.” Remus set his face and shook his head slowly.

“Alright, your choice.” Sirius leaned forward and began tickling Remus’s sides, enjoying the small laughs falling from his lips. In the few short seconds, he ended up huddled in Remus’s space, and he butted his head against Remus’s shoulder, playfully. As he went to straighten himself back up, his hands froze against Remus’s sides. 

Tea...and old books...and chocolate...Oh my god. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh fuck, oh shit. 

“Oh, shit.” He whispered, mostly to himself.
“What? What is it, Sirius?” Sirius backed up, removing his hands from Remus’s skin and ran them through his long, black hair. 

“I’m- I need the loo. Just- just a minute.” 

Sirius stood and practically bolted to their shared dormitory bathroom, closing the door and falling back against it. 

His thoughts were rushing through his brain, and he could feel the blood thrumming in his ears. 

He had been smelling Remus in the amortentia that morning. Everything clicked into place at once. 

The reason he could never fully commit to any of the girls that had chased him during his years at school, why he could never say he was in love with any of them. There had always been something in the back of his mind that said he was waiting for something or someone, but it had been Remus all along. He wasn’t waiting for someone, he was waiting for his mind and his heart to catch up. He replayed moments from his memory, noticing for the first time the signals that he had been watching Remus not to make sure he was okay or simply to observe his quirks, but because he admired the way his curls fell into his eyes or the way his eyelashes brushed his skin when he blinked. He realized that he loved watching Remus turn the pages of his books in the dim library light because he loved watching Remus hands, and the thought brought warmth to his cheeks. 

Processing all of this came to an abrupt stop when he realized he had no idea if Remus felt the same way. He still had no idea what had caused Remus’s upset that morning after experiencing the potion, and he had no idea who it was that had Remus spiraling during the hours between that morning and sitting next to him on his bed. He went through a list in his head of all of the boys Remus knew at Hogwarts, trying to wrap his thoughts around the other boy being in love with someone else. 

Could it be James? No...he’d never smell like motor oil. Who smells like motor oil? He thought, running his hands through his hair once more, sure it was looking like he had stuck a fork in a socket by now. 

He knew there was only one way to figure this out and figure it out quickly and that was to simply ask Remus. He couldn’t waste anymore time hiding out in the bathroom, so he took a deep breath and turned the handle slowly, walking into the room to find Remus sitting concernedly on the edge of his bed.

“Sirius, are you alright?” Sirius nodded and gripped the handle harder, his knuckles turning white.

“Remus...why were you so upset this morning? About what you smelled in the potion?” Remus opened and closed his mouth quickly, blushing and grasping his hands together.

“Well, I don’t- why?” He looked into Sirius’s eyes with a bewildered look in his own and they both refused to break eye contact with the other.

Silence filled the space between them and Sirius was sure that if Remus stood and came any closer, he would hear his heartbeat as if it was being broadcast over a loudspeaker. 

Sirius sighed and gritted his teeth, feeling nervous in a way he had never felt before. 

“Please, Moony,” Sirius choked out, barely above a whisper. “Who was it?” 

Remus swallowed thickly, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and letting out a heavy sigh.

“Please don’t be upset.”
Sirius nodded, urging him to continue.

“It was-”
Just as he was about to destroy Sirius’s entire life while simultaneously allowing him to try and close this chapter, the door flew open and James Potter strolled in.

“Oh, boys! Dinner time! Almost thought you’d forgotten.” James leaned against the doorframe with a cheesy grin covering his face. 

“Really, Prongs, you couldn’t wait 5 minutes.” Sirius grumbled as Remus stood up and crossed the room, warm, pink flush across his cheeks back in full effect.

Dammit. He just has to look cute right before breaking my heart, doesn’t he?

“Oh. I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” James said casually, but Sirius could’ve sworn he sounded almost hopeful that he would’ve interrupted the two boys.

“It’s nothing.” Remus said quickly as he passed James, walking out of their dorm. “Just apologizing for being a prat today, that’s all. Let’s go eat, I’m starving.” He finished and exited without them, leaving a flustered Sirius glaring at a confused James.

“What happened, Pads?” James said as Sirius crossed the room to join him.

“I am completely and utterly fucked, James.” They walked down the stairs to the portrait hole, Remus already long gone from the common room.

“Why? What happened?” Sirius sighed, pausing to wait for the remaining first years to find their way out of the common room. 

James looked at him expectantly, watching as he picked at a loose string on the end of his sleeve.

“It was him. In Potions this morning, the one I smelled in the Amortentia.” James sighed, seemingly relieved.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. It took you long enough.” He said, bumping Sirius’s elbow in a brotherly way. Sirius’s eyes widened.

“What!? You mean, you knew?! Oh, gods, does Moony know?!” James’s eyes widened, mirroring Sirius’s and he coughed into his hand.

“Um, I did know, yea. You look at him like...well, like he hung the bloody sun, moon, and stars in the sky.” 

Sirius sighed and resisted the urge to fall backwards onto the sofa and scream into his arms. He pushed past James and pushed the portrait hole open, climbing through with a sigh. James jogged slowly and met up with him at the stairs, looking at him carefully.

“So, did you just tell him? Is that what I interrupted?”

“No. I didn’t. I asked him who he smelled, and he asked me not to be upset. He was about 2 seconds from telling me when you walked in.” Sirius sighed again, feeling dizzy and sick, and maybe a bit hungry.

“Oh, alright, well...maybe you two could talk again after dinner.” Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded, feeling like he deserved to sulk a bit.

“Sirius? For what it’s worth, I don’t think Moony has any idea that you feel that way about him. He’s a bit oblivious to that sort of thing.” 

Sirius nodded again and continued on to the Great Hall, trying his best not to look as defeated as he felt.

It was an odd thing, realizing you had feelings for your best friend, though, he supposed it was par for the course of his life.

Sirius excused himself from dinner early, taking a walk around the grounds instead of sitting at the table and watching Remus talk to Lily. He knew he must look like a creep, watching the way he whispered to her and poked at his plate. 

He stalked across the fallen leaves silently, feeling the cold, autumn air chill the tip of his nose. He lit a cigarette and leaned against a tree in the courtyard, enjoying the break from reality as he inhaled. 

He tried his best not to think of Remus, trying instead to focus on kicking the leaves beneath his boots into the shape of his initials. Finishing his cigarette, he squashed the butt beneath his foot and turned to leave, finding his path blocked.

“Hi.” Remus said softly.

“Hi.” He said back, matching Remus’s tone and volume.

“Can we talk?” Remus asked, gesturing to a bench at the side of the courtyard and Sirius nodded, following him across the leaf-covered grass.

“What’s up, Moonbeam?” Sirius said, with a soft smile, trying to seem normal.

Remus looked at him with an unfamiliar look in his eyes, something bright and desperate that made Sirius feel nervous.

“I wanted to finish our conversation...you know, from earlier?” He said, with a slight shakiness to his voice.

Merlin, is it fucking Snape? Why’s he so nervous?! Sirius thought frantically, while nodding and keeping his face purposefully blank on the outside.

“Right.”
“Right. Please...again, don’t be upset, okay?”

“Merlin, Moony, is it Snape or something? Why would I be upset?!” Sirius said, trying to keep the tension in the air from building any more that it already had.

“Snape?! What?! Sirius, are you kidding me?!” Remus said, eyebrows furrowing together and mouth dropping.

“Joking! I swear!” Sirius said around a laugh, watching Remus deflate and pull on his sleeve, sending electricity up the skin of his arm.

“You’re an idiot. No more jokes, I’ve gotta get this out, alright?” Sirius smiled softly and nodded. 

“So. I don’t know how you’re going to react to this but maybe just..um..take a second before you do, and know that this doesn’t have to change anything. I have no agenda...I just-” Sirius sat, feeling so confused he may burst.

“It was you. In the amortentia, that’s what I smelled, that’s why I’ve been so odd all day.” Remus said, blowing out a long breath and looking down at his shoes, absently kicking at a pebble.

Sirius breathed in sharply and clapped his hands together, startling Remus.

“Well, thank Gods for that, or the rest of this night would’ve been pretty fucking awkward.” Remus quirked an eyebrow.

“What? Sirius, are you making fun of me?” Sirius chuckled and reached out for Remus’s hand.

“Course not. You were mine, too.” Remus blinked once, twice, three times, and then a slow smile spread across his lips.

“Really? You’re not messing with me?” Sirius chuckled and squeezed Remus’s hand with his own.

“Course not. I think I’m quite mad for you, actually. Why else would I have smelled bloody books in that stupid potion?” Remus looked at him incredulously, his eyes shining and mouth in a half open smile.

“I can’t believe you think I smell like books.” 

“Well, I can’t believe you think I smell like motor oil.”
“I can explain that, alright?!” Remus said, chuckling.

“Right, let’s hear it.” Sirius smiled and ran his thumb across Remus’s knuckles.

“It’s because of those stupid motorbike magazines you read,” He blushed, but continued. “And you’re always talking about how when we finish school you’re going to get one...and I don’t know...the thought of you working on a motorbike just crosses my mind quite often, okay?” Sirius grinned and ran his free hand through his hair.

“Can’t say I blame you. I would look quite good on or under a motorbike.” They both laughed, feeling light and invincible. 

“This feels like a dream, Pads. There’s never been anyone else that I’d have even considered...just you.” Sirius scooted closer to him on the bench and gently placed a hand on the side of his neck, where it connected with his shoulder. 

“And you’re the reason why it’s never worked with anyone else, you little terror.” Sirius smiled, looking so deeply into the green of Remus’s eyes, he could see golden flecks. Remus stared back, placing his hand over Sirius’s. Warmth pooled all over Sirius’s body, taking him over and pushing him forward, just as Remus leaned in. 

Their lips met and Sirius understood everything anyone had ever said about love. It was unlike any other kiss he’d ever had before. He could feel butterflies untangling the knots in his stomach, could hear fireworks, and behind his eyes he could see every memory he’d ever made with Remus since he was 11 playing in a speedy, spectacular, nearly cinematic way. This was everything he’d ever wanted and never knew he needed. He teased his fingers up into Remus’s curls and sighed against his lips at the otherworldly softness of them beneath the skin of his fingertips. He pulled back, reluctantly, needing to breathe, and leaned his forehead against Remus’s. He played with the curls at the nape of Remus’s neck and smiled, wishing he could stay forever in this moment.

“Remus, will you-”
“Well, there you two are, I’ve been- oh, shit, I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” James said, from the archway of the courtyard. Sirius sat up straight and pulled his hand out of Remus’s hair, grabbing his hand instead.

“Prongs, I say this with all the love in my heart. Fuck. Off.” James laughed brightly, and turned to run up the pathway back into the castle. With the darkness creeping in, Sirius beckoned Remus to get up and walk with him back to their dorm.

“Won’t someone see?” Remus said, tugging his sleeve down, trying to cover their hands.

“Hmm...maybe. I don’t care, though. Everyone will only be jealous anyway, I’ve got the loveliest boyfriend at Hogwarts, haven’t I?” Remus smiled.

“Boyfriend?”
“Yea, if you want.”
“Of course I do...boyfriend.” Remus knocked his shoulder against Sirius’s and squeezed his hand lightly.

They walked a few more steps down the pathway, smiling like fools and relishing in their newfound relationship.

“Can I just say, I am so happy you two finally figured all this out. The tension was getting to be...way too much.” James said, stepping out from behind a column and falling into step with the two, throwing his arm around Remus’s neck.

Sirius smiled and rolled his eyes, looking at the way the burnt orange sun looked behind Remus, lighting him up and making him glow. 

Potions might become his new favorite class, after all of this.

The three walked into the castle together and Sirius had never been happier listening to Remus and James talk about homework with Sirius holding Remus’s hand unashamedly as they climbed the stairs.