One Day I Will Die
The next time he awoke was significantly less pleasant than the first. His gut twisted in his stomach, and bile leaped towards his throat causing a burning sensation to thickly coat his insides. He swallowed dryly, and opened his eyes to darkness once again.
Blinking slowly, his eyes slowly began to adjust and he looked around what looked to be a bedroom. The curtains were drawn, but a sliver of moonlight shining onto the baby blue sheets indicated that night had fallen while he was unconscious. Minding sharply catching up, Severus sat up quickly, which proved to be a mistake as his stomach lurched once again and he barely avoided puking all over his lap.
His hands shook as he stared down at them, mind scrambling to keep up. He couldn’t quite remember where he was, his surroundings both familiar and foreign at the same time. Alright, just take a few deep breaths. Focus.
It was easier said than done when the room wouldn’t stop spinning. A wave of cold washed over him as he blearily tried to recall what had happened the day prior, to no avail. Flashes of faces, of blurry conversations flew through his mind, but they were quickly swallowed up by the fog permeating his head.
Maybe if he walked around for a bit, it would help get his brain working again, which was beginning to throb against his skull causing him to cringe as it grew stronger with every beat of his heart.
Slower, he pulled the covers off and attempted to stand once more, knees wobbling and legs weak but still able to stay upright. It was as if a wave of sickness had hit him suddenly and unexpectedly during the night, the relief of simply being alive having worn off and given way to a deep dread that filled his entire being. Feeling heavy, Severus steadied himself, pressing his forehead onto the cool wall and exhaled gently, taking a few moments to just listen.
Light seeped in from under the unfamiliar door, and he could hear shuffling and quiet voices somewhere outside it. He shifted in discomfort, and the floor creaked loudly beneath him. The murdering stopped, before it was replaced by a pair of rapidly approaching footsteps.
A sense of danger enveloped him and, without thinking, he began staggering towards the window. He needed to leave. He needed to go home, wherever home was, anywhere but here. Clumsily, he threw apart the curtains and began fumbling with the latches. Furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, he proudly pushed open the window a few moments later.
The night outside was silent, and cool air instantly surrounded him as he took a deep breath. It was too dark to see, but the shadows seemed to stare back at him, dancing fluidly in the stillness and caressing him in a gentle embrace. Severus felt his eyes droop in sleepiness, and the urge to go out into the perfect night came over him quick as an afterthought.
Now, Severus would like to say that he was lucid enough to realize that crawling out of a second story window would not be a good idea. That he had stopped to consider, just for a moment, that the attempt would certainly end in failure and pain.
Well, pain would be a bit of an understatement.
Haphazardly sticking a foot outside, Severus turned at the sound of the door creaking open. The man from earlier had his head stuck out from the doorway, and whatever he was about to say died at his lips at the sight of Severus, visibly delirious and precariously hanging out of the window. They both froze, staring at each other with wide eyes.
William seemed to come to first, reaching a hand out to grab Severus. He flinched back instinctively, and that's when he stumbled.
Leaning backwards, the foot that had been keeping him upright inside the window lost its grip and he could feel himself begin to fall. It felt as though time had stopped, with William’s eyes beginning to widen in horror as he shook himself from his surprise and began running. Severus reached his hand out almost absentmindedly. His fingers grazed Severus’ own, but he was a second too late.
He could only watch as the boy dropped.
Or, dropped wouldn’t exactly be the right word. There would have been injury, sure, but Severus wouldn't be nearly as hurt if it wasn’t for one thing. See, there was an apple tree right outside the window. Severus remembered the tree. Seemingly insignificant in the long run, it stood strong next to the house, it’s highest branches surpassing the roof and providing shade on hot summer days full of watermelon and sprinklers.
It was a grand sight and, as it turned out, it would be the end of Severus’ new beginning.
As he fell backwards, his head cracked against a thick branch with leaves that nearly licked the edge of the windowsill. It seemed to almost be reaching out to catch him as he descended, but as his skull caught it’s edge he only registered a loud crunch that resonated throughout the silent night, and his lower body that went limp and numb. His life went as quickly as it had returned.
Severus would never forget that tree.
~+~
A bony finger dragged along his body, feathery touches trailing up his spine before halting at his neck, twisted at an unnatural angle and unseeing eyes staring into the endless void. Though the child’s body seemed devoid of life, the consciousness was still present, laying dormant inside of the corpse.
“Must you always be so difficult?” The voice tutted, before the hand firmly took hold of Severus’ chin and turned his head to face it, neck uncomfortably loose in it’s rotation. They sternly looked into the glassy black eyes, scolding lightly to unlistening ears.
“I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you as many times as necessary. I do not care if this time it was an accident, I have been ever so gracious in giving you this universe and you will not put it to waste by dying yet again.” They looked down mournfully, examining his young, slack features and pale, waxy skin that still showed signs of past pain endured.
Heaving a sigh, the figure tsked as they cradled the body in their lap. “Poor thing. I can’t help but pity you.” They rolled their eyes again, speaking to themself yet knowing somehow the boy would subconsciously remember their words. “Alright, fine. I suppose I will send you back.” They quieted, before leaning in and muttering softly into his ear.
“I will spare you the memories, but remember this. You cannot change your fate. No matter what you do, or what you change, that is your constant. Do not try to run from it, it is impossible to escape.”
Lifting the body into their arms, a light began to shine on the two of them. As it touched Severus, it seemed to ignite him and he faded, ashes fluttering around before being dragged into the bright whiteness. The figure watched indifferently, raising their hands as the last of the dust got whisked away and sucked into the abyss, and abruptly the light disappeared with the remains of Severus, leaving death alone once more in the emptiness of the night.
~+~
Standing before the open window, Severus paused. A churning in his gut halted him in his tracks, and he stared blankly outside for a few moments. Everything inside him yelled to just crawl out, but a small voice in the back of his mind nagged urgently, a whisper of disapproval.
The dark that once was comforting seemed almost threatening now, the tree's shadowy figure standing evident against the moon. His heart skipped a beat when he set his sights on it.
But as the voices faded back into his ears, he knew he couldn't stay.
Cautiously, he slid out of the window and snatched at the branch reaching towards the window. The end sagged down, lowering him gently to the ground. It felt almost like an apology of sorts.
Shaking his head lightly, the memories had already begun to fade from his mind. Stumbling along, he vanished into the night. Away from the Evan’s, away from the house, away from the tree that he would never forget.