Connie Goes Back to School
1995
I sent my acceptance to Dumbledore the next day, still happy with my decision even when I woke up with a splitting headache.
The rest of the Summer slipped away too quickly for my liking. Harry and I spent nearly every day together. His friends are wonderful and I am quite proud of the young adults they are becoming. They seem just like me. It is an adjustment I have to make before I begin at Hogwarts.
They are all still children. I add it as a mantra in my head.
Given that I have to plan and prepare for the school year, I have to leave Harry and Grimmauld Place two weeks before the term is set to begin. We have an over-the-top dinner that leaves my cheeks sore from grinning too much. Fred and George Weasley give me a joke wand that they have modified to cast a rather lovely floral charm. Hermione gifts me a signed copy of Gilderoy Lockhart’s book Magical Me, a joke that everyone can appreciate. Sirius and Remus explain in private that Harry has the Marauder’s Map and I take that as its own kind of gift.
Even the rest of the Weasley’s gift me a beautiful card and a lovely scarf made of all four house colors. I had told them all that I was determined to promote school unity during my time at Hogwarts. Most of them seemed as if they doubted my ability to do so.
After dinner Harry and I sit in my room, packing the rest of my belongings.
“Are you nervous?” he asks me, fidgeting with the corner of one of my robes.
“Definitely. Are you?” I close my trunk and shrink it so it will be easier to carry.
He goes quiet and I wonder what he is thinking about. We’ve talked a lot about Cedric Diggory over the last month.
“Do you think he could be there? As a ghost?”
“No. Harry, Cedric entered the tournament with a clear understanding of both the risks and the rewards. That takes a great deal of bravery. I believe that when death came, he accepted it.”
“Would you write to me? If he is?”
I nod and force him into another hug. I can’t tell if he hates it or loves it, but every day since I came out of that box I’ve hugged him.
Realizing we are about to be apart for two weeks, I squeeze him a little tighter.
“Things are going to be so different. The Prophet and the Ministry are saying I lied.”
“Harry, just remember that the people who know you and are here for you now, will be there for you then. Besides, if anyone gives you trouble, I’ll give them detention for a month.”
He cracks a smile at that.
“You know Fred and George are going to try to drive you mad, right? They have a sort of obsession with you I think.”
“Let them try.”
Fred and George had indeed been trying to prank, upset, and outperform me all month. Perhaps I had laid out too big a challenge. Sirius had been whispering in their ear constantly about how to annoy me.
“Connie, thank you. You’ve given me so much more than you realize. Those pictures of my Mom with Dorcas and Marlene were so wonderful. She feels more solid to me now. More than just a brief memory.”
“You never need to thank me, Harry. Now go on, off to bed with you. It is only a couple of weeks,” I push him out the door, feeling tears well up in my eyes.
When the door clicks shut I sigh, wasting another wish on bringing back everyone we have lost.
They don’t appear in my bedroom so I just lay down and think of all of the moments we shared.
Sleep has been difficult since I emerged from the box, but I only wake up once before the sun peaks over the ridge. Collecting my bags and my wand, I sneak downstairs. No one is awake. Remus isn’t on the couch.
Part of me wants to see if he is in Sirius’s room, but the other part of me knows I should get out of here before it becomes another long goodbye.
Instead of flooing to the castle, I apparate to Hogsmeade for a spot of breakfast at The Three Broomsticks. The place is empty, but Rosmerta, a girl I knew in school who has become an adult, opens when I explain who I am.
After a lovely cup of tea and a shot of firewhiskey done far too early in the day, I trudge up to Hogwarts, grateful for weightless charms and shrinking charms.
No one is there to greet me when I reach the doors of the castle, but I am grateful because my eyes are filled with tears at the sight of the incredible structure. It looks just the same.
I find my way inside and into the Great Hall, looking for someone, but it stands quiet and empty.
Then I wind my way down towards the dungeons before remembering I won’t be residing there this year. I turn around and climb to the second floor where the Defense classroom sits empty.
Setting straight to work, I float my bags into the office at the top of the stairs and start moving things around. All of the jars and specimens are left from Moody’s imposter, Crouch Jr.
So I waste no time in banishing the lot. I’d like to work with a blank slate.
“Connemara Fawley,” a woman’s voice calls from the doorway of the classroom.
I turn, and smirk at Minerva McGonagall, the one witch I could never trick.
“Minnie!” I walk towards her, giving her a quick hug and being reassured that even if I can’t trick her, I can still annoy her.
“You can of course call me what you like when we are alone, but please refrain from using that ghastly nickname in front of the students.”
She tries to sound cross, but it comes across warmer than intended.
“Now that I am a professor, of course I will behave as such,” I match her tone and step back.
“When did you arrive? Albus told me he would let me know so I could greet you.”
“Just this morning. Apparated instead of using the floo.”
She nods in understanding and then glances around the room.
“Any plans as to where you will start?” She asks.
“Not a clue. Maybe the ceiling,” I look up at the arching stone, a blank canvas.
“Well if you need anything, you know where to find me. I would also recommend finding the time to speak with Severus. From my understanding, things weren’t left very well between you.”
The understatement of the century.
“Right. I’ll make it a point. I am looking forward to this year.”
“Having another Slytherin on staff will certainly make for some interesting conversation,” she looks down her nose at me and I try not to shrink, reminding myself that I am an adult. Her peer.
“I’ve spent the last month surrounded by Gryffindors. I look forward to some variety.”
She leaves with a short laugh.
I turn back to my classroom and lift my wand, suddenly inspired.
I don’t see Severus for three days. He doesn’t eat in the Great Hall and he isn’t in his office the one and only time I visit it. He’s certainly changed Slughorn’s classroom. It’s a lot dingier now. No wonder everyone calls him a bat.
We cross paths outside the castle, on the lawn.
For a second in my mind, we are sixth years, fighting in low whispers.
“Fawley,” he turns and the memory is gone. He hasn’t aged as much as Sirius or Remus.
Hasn’t changed at all really. Sullen and pale.
“Sev,” I swallow, nervous.
“So you survived,” he says, not sounding particularly happy about it.
“As did you. I suppose both of our plans paid off.”
I won’t accuse him of killing them. He didn’t after all. It was Pettigrew. But he was a spy, just like me. He wasn’t discovered, unlike me. Which means that he knew about Peter. Knew about the Potters. About Lily’s son.
“Mine better than yours,” he sneers.
“Better trapped in a box than dead. Besides, I’ve barely aged. You look a bit like shrivelled parchment.”
“You’ve spent too long with the Lions. You’ve lost your edge.”
I laugh.
“Too right you are. Sev, why haven’t you told anyone?”
“I can’t. Never. There is too much at stake. And now, with the Dark Lord revived, it is better that I keep silent.”
Part of me wants to fight him on this. To tell him that we need all the allies we can get, fighting. But I know how valuable a spy can be. How often information saves lives.
“Harry told me you have been a right git to him.”
The look on Sev’s face is murderous.
“Mr. Potter is just like his father. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that we don’t see eye to eye.”
“No he’s not.”
Sev looks at me angrily. Probably remembering that I took Lily’s side when he broke her heart. When he betrayed their friendship.
“You’ve known him for barely a month.”
“And you don’t know him at all,” I accuse, unwilling to waiver on my opinion of the bright boy I would already give my life for.
“I suppose we will see who is right, given he will be returning as a Champion,” Severus Snape, twice Harry’s age and more talented at most subjects I am sure, is obviously jealous.
“He’s a fifteen year old boy, Sev. Don’t tell me you are envious,” I dig into him, pleased at the twitch in his eye.
“Envious of what? Dumb luck and a penchant for trouble?”
“I forgot how obtuse you could be. Come on, join me for supper. I want to hear all about what you’ve done since I left you in the snake pit.”
“You were dragged from the snake pit kicking and screaming.”
He does join me for supper, even given our strained relationship. Minnie helps ease the tension by asking both of us about our lesson plans and the inevitable destruction that Seventh Year Weasley Twins will bring to Hogwarts.
I had been so angry when Severus had not spoken out to save me when Lestrange accused me of being a bloodtraitor. So angry that he never helped me escape.