Schrodinger's Cat

The Holiday passes uneventfully, and I am grateful that Lily and Severus each wrote me a holiday card, rather than buying me a gift. I spent any of my time out of the library in my room, working on a gift to say thank you to Eleanor. I had taken to wearing the broach she gave me under the lapel of my robes. 

When the Hogwarts Express returns to Hogwarts, I am watching snowfall from a table in the library.

Little lines of students trudge towards the castle, wrapped in knitted hats and gloves. I spot Lily’s flaming hair beneath a bright red cap with a gold tassel on top.

She and Severus are walking together.

We reunite in Slughorn’s classroom a couple of hours later. Lily complains about her older sister Petunia and Severus complains about his father, but both seemed to have had a nice break from the school.

I tell them both about what Remus helped me find. I’ve decided to ask McGonagall for help filling out the application and being named the official heir to the Fawley name.

Severus received a new edition of a potions text for effective grooming so we mess around with a potion intended to give the drinker different colored eyes temporarily.

Lily decides she is perfectly happy with green eyes.

I rather like the way I look with blue eyes, my dark features making them bright like pools of water.

Severus turns his eyes red and we all agree it is horrid.

Lily’s twelfth birthday is in a couple of weeks. Her mother had sent her back to school with a party in a box. When Professor Slughorn emerges to head to the great hall for dinner, we ask if we can use the classroom for Lily’s party.

I am a little shocked, but nonetheless very pleased when he says yes.

At supper, I watch as Lily and Remus talk at the Gryffindor table. I’d asked her to pass along my thanks to him, too anxious to do it myself.

“Has Lily told you about her sister?” Severus asks, noticing where I am looking.

“No.”

“Petunia. Horrible girl. With the longest neck I’ve ever seen on a person. They got in a huge fight over the holiday. Petunia called Lily a freak. Of course, she is just jealous. I told Lily that of course.”

“Jealous?”

“That she doesn’t have any magic. Understandable of course. I’d pitch myself off the astronomy tower if I was a squib.”

A pinch in my stomach stops me from responding. I don’t think it would have been so bad to stay a muggle. Sure, magic had given me a lot, but it is also the reason I never knew my parents. 

I shove a whole meatball in my mouth to avoid responding.

He has been different since he got back. More sullen.

“Anyways, I just thought maybe you could talk to her. You know more about them,” Severus says. “Muggles I mean.”

I nod, knowing very well that I will only talk about Lily’s sister if Lily brings it up.

“Welcome back, students,” Professor Dumbledore stands as the empty plates disappear into the kitchens. “I hope that all of you enjoyed the holiday. I for one received a lovely nose hair trimmer. Please remember that the forest is still out of bounds. Also, Professor McGonagall has asked me to remind you all that the duelling club will resume meetings on the 1oth of January.”

As we all file out of the room, Remus Lupin surprises me by handing me a folded note.

I don’t open it until I am alone in my room.

Want to be my duelling partner?

I think back to our discussion about his talents at disarming people. Then I remember his accusation that I was too ambitious for my own good.

Last term, I had never attended a meeting of the duelling club. It didn’t seem like something worthy of my time. 

I write out a quick response and tuck it into my transfiguration book to give to him tomorrow.

Laying down on my bed, I read through the book on the early tales of Willa Fawley, Matriarch of the Fawley clan. 

She was a witch who fell madly in love nearly five hundred years ago. She had wanted to discover a way to hide precious belongings. There were at least a half dozen spells she was credited with inventing.

Her life ended almost as tragically as my own mother’s. When Willa was in her thirties, she had traveled to the eastern world in search of a mystical object. Something that would protect her family’s fortune from saxon raiders.

Her ship went down in the English channel, and magic didn’t save her life.

The many children of Willa Fawley stayed sequestered in northern England for centuries, afraid that the waters surrounding the large isle were cursed.

“Sounds like they were all Hufflepuff’s too.” I close the book and climb beneath my covers.

When my eyes close, I try to push together details of my mother’s face. It looks a lot like mine. Perhaps I am just envisioning myself when I am older. She could look completely different.

But as I fall asleep, I smile at the idea that I could have looked just like her.