A friend?
My first week of classes passes too quickly. I feel as though my head is going to disconnect itself from my body as it tries to go in it’s own direction.
Transfiguration is incredible. I’d already managed to turn a matchstick into a shiny silver needle.
Potions class was delicate and logical, making it easily my favorite class. Professor Horace Slughorn was a brilliantly eccentric man, with little time for first years.
I am thankful for how much there is to learn as it is a good distraction from my lack of friends.
Neither James nor Sirius had made an attempt to talk to me, even though Gryffindor was paired with Slytherin for nearly all of our classes.
A girl in Ravenclaw had taken the time to help me with my soil in Herbology but then moved on to titter with her housemates.
So on Friday, a week after starting, I am sitting alone at the Slytherin table, hunched over a book I had brought from the orphanage.
“Where did you get that tattered old thing?” a boy sits down opposite me and pulls on the top of my book.
I lower it and glare at him.
Avery. A pudgy boy who had been fed by silver spoon until the day he left for Hogwarts, no doubt.
“Leave me alone,” I say softly, resuming my reading.
Except then he takes the book fully out of my hands.
“Is this a muggle book?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Practicing for when they realize you haven’t got enough magic to be here?” he asks, tearing a page out.
I stand up and grab for it, but he holds it out of my reach.
“Give it back,” I snap.
“I don’t think I will. In fact, you should think of this as a favor. I’m trying to help you fit in, squib,” he sneers, tearing the book to shreds and letting the pages fall to the ground at his feet.
“Leave her alone,” a voice interrupts. I turn and am surprised to see it is the smart Gryffindor girl, Evans.
“This is none of your business,” Avery sneers and ignores her. “Your parents are lucky they aren’t here to see what a disappointment you are.”
My chest tightens. How dare he talk about my family?
“I said, leave her alone. Rictusempra,” A red light flashes in my peripheral and suddenly Avery is on the floor, hugging his sides and laughing?
He scrambles to his feet after a minute and runs off.
“Tickling charm,” the redhead explains as I turn to look at her.
I walk around the table and retrieve my book, as well as the pages. She bends down to help me gather them.
“I’m Lily,” she continues, handing me some of the torn pages.
We stand up and look at each other.
Lily Evans is muggleborn. I’d heard Severus telling his friends.
Who cares?
“I’m Connie,” I offer my most brilliant smile. “Thank you.”
Not to sound desperate, but I’d be friends with a goblin at this point.
“I’m sorry about your book. I don’t know a spell to fix it,” she says, sounding disappointed in herself.
“All I know how to do is turn a matchstick into a needle. Can you teach me the jinx you used?”
Her face lights up and I feel a bit of hope for myself. Perhaps I have just been looking for friends in the wrong places.
“Absolutely.”
So Lily Evans became my first real friend at Hogwarts. She taught me the jinx, and we talked about the book I had been reading. A Nancy Drew Mystery.
She and I began studying together in the library, and I spent more time with her than with any of the Slytherins.
“You should really be more careful about who you spend your time with,” Valeria corners me in our common space a week later.
“What do you care?”
“I care because she is a mudblood and even you should not lower yourself so much.”
It isn’t the first time I have heard the word. Older Slytherins throw it around casually.
Except it doesn’t make any sense to me. The idea is that someone has purer blood than someone else. The school is centuries old. No line could remain truly pure in all that time, could it?
“Lily has more talent in her little finger than you have in your entire body, Valeria. Now get out of my way,” I storm past her, forgetting my school bag.
Hastily, I make my way to the library where Lily is waiting to study.
“Connie! Are you alright?” Lily asks, likely asking because I am huffing and puffing in frustration.
“No, I am not. Valeria just- well she just said something rather horrible. I don’t understand what I am doing in Slytherin. They all seem to think they are so superior!” I snap and then lower my head as Madam Pince gives me a sharp glare.
“Oh Connie, don’t let them get to you. They don’t know anything about you.”
“Lily, she called you a mudblood,” I spit out sharper than I mean to.
She snaps back like I’ve poured hot oil on her. I don’t blame her.
“I don’t think we should keep studying together,” I stand up and look at her.
She looks hurt. I am such a twat. Instead of taking back the words or apologizing, I just spin on my heel and leave the library.
I stomp through the castle until I find myself in the boathouse. I sit on the dock, my feet in the water and think about how much easier my life was a year ago.
No standards to meet. No expectations from anyone. I was just another girl in a building full of them.
I haven’t gotten any more answers about my family either. No one seems to know anything about them. The name gets me a certain amount of recognition, but the older students seem to go quiet when they hear it.
Putting my head in my hands I try to think about what old me would have done.
Normal, intelligent, sneaky.
Before I knew I had magic, I used my brain to get ahead.
Making up my mind, I get over my pity party.
I make my way back to Slytherin’s common room and search for Eleanor.
She is sitting alone, hunched over a book.
“What do you want, Fawley?” She asks after I hover for too long. I step forward.
“I need a favor,” I say quietly.
She puts down her quill and looks at me in question.
“I would like you to tutor me. I want to learn more. Faster.”
She considers my words.
“Why?”
“Because I have been playing catch up since I arrived and I hate it. Just because I was raised in the muggle world, my classmates think they are better than me. At magic. At everything. I want to be better.”
“Ambitious,” she smiles. “I have a few hours on Mondays. We can do it in my room,” she picks up her quill and goes back to her reading.
Just like that? Not wanting to push my luck I silently back away and head for my room.