And one day you stopped talking to me. You stopped seeing me. And you left forgetting about me. If I was really so important, then why did you leave?
Why did you leave me, Shinobu?
.
.
.
"First you must lay out the blankets, which will serve as a base" the alpha explained, as she arranged the blankets and other items on the omega's bed. Shinobu stifled a giggle and hummed in agreement. She found it charming and amusing to see the younger girl take the task of teaching her how to build a nest so seriously.
Honestly, she was only joking when she told Nezuko that she had never built a nest before. Of course she knew how to do it, she had helped Kanae build her own when she was still alive. But part of her wanted to see how the young alpha would react to the confession.
Don't worry, Shinobu-san! I'll show you how to build the perfect nest!
The way Nezuko spoke and moved, with such charisma and enthusiasm, made her inner wolf purr with satisfaction as she followed the whole procedure closely. "...- and then come the cushions and soft, quilted fabrics, they go on top of the blankets. Make sure you distribute them well or some parts will be too lumpy or hollow and it won't be comfortable. Are you listening to me?"
" Yes, yes." Shinobu nodded with mock seriousness while inwardly wondering if the Kamado understood the true significance of an alpha helping an omega build her nest. She probably didn't — or at least that's what the Insect Hashira gathered from the genuine expression of innocent concentration on the other's face.—
The simple act of building a nest is considered a sacred and intimate ritual. More than that. It was a refuge that provided comfort and security to the omegas in times of stress or when their emotions were scattered or out of control. In some cases the nest is also used during the days before and during the rut. However, it was always built by the omega. The only exception was when the omega was expecting a cub. In those cases, it was the alpha who took the reins and was in charge of preparing a nest. Built from blankets and clothing impregnated with their scent so that both their omega and their cub would feel comfortable and protected.
But Shinobu was not expecting a cub. And Nezuko was not her alpha.
" I see you're quite the expert at this " she commented with a smile, watching as the alpha carefully put everything together.
There was no denying it. The nest looked extremely comfortable and the purple-eyed omega was already looking forward to lying in it. Nezuko paused for a moment and looked at her with those big, bright pink eyes that always filled the eldest's stomach with butterflies and increased her heartbeat by the minute.
It was impossible not to succumb to the charm of the Kamado siblings.
"Yes, I learned to do that when I was little " the alpha replied happily. " Sometimes, when my younger siblings asked, I would build a huge nest in our living room so we could all sleep together."
Shinobu imagined the scene with a smile. " That sounds lovely. It must have been wonderful to have all your siblings around."
The black haired girl nodded wistfully as she remembered those times. "Yes, it was one of my favourite activities. I always enjoyed taking care of them and making sure they were all comfortable and happy. Including Tanjirou, who had a habit of neglecting himself. "
And her life would probably have followed that direction, if not for Kibutsuji Muzan's abrupt interruption in her life. That bastard-
"Ara ara ~ Is that why you offered to help me build my nest? Are you taking care of me? " she asked playfully, wanting to provoke a reaction in the other girl. Her expressions were too adorable to waste the opportunity to tease her. Besides, she wanted to wipe that grim expression off the alpha's normally cheerful face. It didn't suit her.
Quickly, Nezuko's cheeks turned a reddish hue and her eyes flashed with a mixture of shyness and embarrassment. ‘Well... yes, I suppose so,’ she stammered." But it's not the same... you're different."
Oh? The omega raised an eyebrow, enjoying how the younger girl became a bundle of nerves in her presence. So adorable.
" 'Different’ in what way?’ she pressed, taking a step closer to the slightly taller girl.
"Uh, you're... special" Nezuko muttered under her breath, avoiding the older girl's inquisitive gaze. "...I really care about you and I wish I could see you smile more often."
Shinobu blinked several times, pretending not to understand. "I smile all the time."
"Not that smile... " she snorted, avoiding looking directly into those beautiful, intense, compound-looking purple eyes. Bright and pupil-less. Similar to those of an insect. "I want to see a genuine smile. One that fills your eyes with brightness. One that dispels that aura of anger that seems to constantly surround you. I want to see Kochou Shinobu's true smile."
The implication behind Nezuko's words was as clear as the sky was blue, the roses red and the grass green. Shinobu felt her eyes water a little. A mixture of anger, surprise, sadness, pain and warmth flooded his chest all at once. The sincerity in the girl's words was too refreshing and Oh sooverwhelming that for a moment she didn't know how to respond.
She had spent so much time pretending to be someone else. Trying to realise a dream she frankly didn't think was possible or rational for the sole purpose of keeping the memory of her beloved sister alive. Sometimes she wondered: Who was Kochou Shinobu?
_______
Her sister's haori was stained, the once light grey fabric with the distinctive butterfly wing pattern now drenched in a dark red that made her stomach twist. Blood trickled from the corners of her mouth and chin. Not to mention the dark puddle they stood over that Shinobu had been desperately trying to ignore. First it was her parents. Now the universe was trying to take Kanae away from her as well. Shinobu was angry.
If there really was a God up there, could he perhaps take pity on her and not take her sister away from her? This was not fair. Not fair at all.
A soft, loving hand caressed her cheek, drawing her out of her thoughts and wiping away a stray tear. "Shinobu... " a voice called out softly. The look Kanae was giving her burned. There were so many emotions swirling in those beautiful lilac eyes. Love. Sorrow. Sadness. Guilt. "Stay away from the demon slayers.... I know you're working very hard, and you really are. But maybe it's best if you get out.... I want you to be happy like any other girl. And live to be many years old. That... for me would be enough. "
But she stubbornly refused. How could her sister ask such a thing at a time like this? " No! I'll never give up! And I swear I'll avenge you! Just tell me! What was the demon that left you like this?! " she demanded desperately " Just tell me, Nee-san! Please! I can't live peacefully after knowing that someone did this to you!"
Kanae had never felt so broken. She knew... she knew that nothing good was going to come of this. She knew her younger sister very well and she was afraid of how far Shinobu would be willing to go just to fulfill the plan she must already be scheming in her head. But she also knew that she would go crazy if she didn't speak up. If she didn't tell her what she wanted to know.
Silent tears began to leak from her eyes as she remembered. "He was a demon with blood stains on his head. His weapons are a pair. He always flashes a carefree smile. He speaks to you with a gentle and calm tone, but around him it's so cold... so cold.... " Her eyes began to slowly close and in her last breath she murmured. ‘I feel sorry... for that demon. "
Her hand fell limply next to the hilt of her sword, whose blade was broken in half.
" NEE-SAN! "
_______
Nezuko seemed to sense the emotional storm that had raged inside her and did not press her to speak. Instead, she continued to work in silence.
Shinobu watched as the young alpha delicately smoothed the non-existent wrinkles out of the Hashira's butterfly-winged haori before placing it in the centre of the nest she had so painstakingly prepared. The younger girl stood back with a beaming smile lighting up her entire face, proud of her work.
" I'm finished, Shinobu-san!"she exclaimed with joy and satisfaction. Shinobu assessed the result and had to admit that it was perfect. However, her inner wolf was still restless and unsatisfied. Something was missing. Deep down she knew perfectly well what that ‘something’ was.
"Something is missing." the omega pointed out calmly. Nezuko blinked in confusion. She was sure she had followed all the steps correctly. She did a little mental review. Had she skipped any important details?
Without a word, the Kochou reached over and gently tugged on the right sleeve of the alpha's pink asanoha print haori, silently asking her to take it off. Nezuko froze for a moment, her pink eyes wide as she processed what Shinobu was trying to do. A slight blush covered the tips of her ears as she finally understood.
" Oh... Oh! " she murmured softly, before removing the garment and handing it to Shinobu. The Insect Hashira held the younger girl's haori as if it were the most precious object in the world, subtly inhaling the warm, fresh, woody scent that wafted from the fabric. Her inner wolf shrieked with joy at the alpha's scent permeating the garment, wallowing in a frenzy of happiness. With calculated movements, Shinobu placed Nezuko's haori in the centre of the nest. Overlapping her own. And without waiting another minute, she climbed into the nest.
Perfect. Shinobu thought, purring. The sound was strange to her own ears, quite out of tune and out of sync from years of disuse, but that didn't matter to the omega. The Kamado watched in awe as the elder curled up like a cat on top of both haoris. She felt a surge of warmth and contentment settle in her chest at the sight of the omega so comfortable and relaxed among the blankets and pillows she had arranged for her. So pretty.
Maybe she shouldn't ask. But she couldn't help but do so anyway.
"May I...?" Nezuko asked shyly, pointing to the empty space next to Shinobu.
The omega nodded with a smile, making room for Nezuko to settle in next to her. The younger girl wasted no time and slipped into the nest, snuggling close to the Hashira but not touching her, respecting her personal space. Both remained silent. Enjoying the warmth and comfort their little safe space provided. Shinobu could feel the warmth radiating from Nezuko's body, it was like a body warmer, and her soft, comforting scent wrapped around her like an invisible blanket.
Is this how mum felt when she let dad, Kanae and I cuddle with her in her nest?
"Nezuko " she whispered after a while, staring at the alpha's face.
" Mm?"
"Thank you."
" For what? " she asked, her eyes sparkling with innocent curiosity.
"For being you... " Shinobu replied simply, her purple eyes meeting Nezuko's pink ones. "For seeing the real me and not just... the image I project."
Nezuko smiled, a smile so warm and bright that Shinobu felt her own heart melt, filled with affection for this girl. She reached out a hand to gently caress the omega's cheek with her thumb and Shinobu leaned into the contact. Hungry for more. " I've always seen you, Shinobu. From the very first moment."
Are you angry?
Ah, I'm sorry! It's just... the colour of your aura is beautiful. I've never seen such a beautiful shade of purple. But it also... it has red gradations that turn black the closer it get to the centre. That's why I deduced that you're angry.
Shinobu stopped breathing, for a few seconds. The young alpha's intense gaze pierced her like an arrow, as if it could see straight into her soul. She felt vulnerable and exposed but strangely that didn't bother her. With Nezuko, she felt safe.
"And what do you see?" she asked in a whisper, her voice trembling slightly.
She smiled tenderly, leaning a little closer "I see a strong and kind woman, who suffers and has endured so much pain but still fights to stay afloat. Someone smart and savvy, with a sense of humour as sharp as a sword. A person who cares deeply about others. An angry omega. But most of all " she paused, her eyes shining with an emotion Shinobu dared not name. " ... I see a beautiful woman, inside and out."
The Insect Hashira felt a lump form in her throat. No one had ever described her like this before. No one had ever seen beyond her carefully constructed façade. No one who knew her would dare call her beautiful if they knew what was inside her head. If they knew the crazy things she was willing to do to quench her thirst for revenge.
Unbidden, a lone tear slid down her cheek. Nezuko caught it with her thumb, gently caressing her face. " It's okay " she murmured. " You don't have to be strong all the time. Not with me."
And with those words, something inside Shinobu snapped. Years of pent up emotions came to the surface and before she knew it she was sobbing in the younger girl's arms. The pink-eyed black-haired girl held her tightly, stroking her head and murmuring words of comfort. Kochou let the tears flow freely, washing away years of accumulated pain, self-loathing and loneliness.
She didn't know how long she spent like that, crying and being comforted. But when she finally calmed down, Shinobu realised that she felt lighter, as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. All was not well. It would take more than that for the omega to completely let go of all her anger and pain. But it was a step in the right direction.
" I'm sorry " she muttered, wiping her eyes. "I didn't mean to..."
"Shh " Nezuko interrupted her gently. "Don't apologize. I'm here for you, angel."
Angel...
Shinobu looked up, meeting Nezuko's eyes. There was so much warmth in there, so much understanding that she felt her heart swell once more. How she hadn't gone into cardiac arrest because of the alpha's gentleness was a complete mystery. Without a second thought, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against the Kamado girl's. A soft, tentative kiss.
The younger girl froze for a moment, surprised, before reacting and responding to the kiss with equal tenderness.
It was sweet and chaste, just a brush of lips, but to the little butterfly it felt as if she had finally found her place in the world. A beautiful flower to perch and rest in after being swept away countless times by the strong currents of air. When they parted, both were rosy-cheeked and bright-eyed.
" I... I hope that was okay " Shinobu murmured, feeling suddenly shy.
Where did all your confidence go, Kochou?
Nezuko smiled broadly. "More than fine." she replied, leaning in eagerly for another kiss.
This time, it was deeper, more passionate. Shinobu tangled her fingers in the younger girl's hair, drawing her closer as the alpha slid a hand around her lower back. Their lips moved in perfect synchronicity, as if they were made for each other.
Unfortunately they were both still human and needed oxygen. So they broke apart, panting slightly. Shinobu felt dizzy with bliss. She had never experienced anything like this before. It was intoxicating, addictive and she loved it.
" Nezuko" she whispered, caressing the alpha's cheek. " Stay with me tonight. Please."
Nezuko's eyes lit up and she nodded energetically. "Always." she murmured, hugging the omega closer. Only Hinokami and Tanjirou knew how much she had longed to be able to hold the older girl in her arms like this. "Whenever you need me, I'll be here."
Snuggling into the nest the alpha had built, their bodies fitting together perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle. Shinobu felt for the first time in years that she could completely lower her defenses. With Nezuko by her side she felt safe.
Protected.
Loved.
Happy.
Alive.
Feelings she thought she could never feel again after her home was desecrated by a despicable being who took away the most important person in her life. And as she drifted off to sleep, lulled by the strong, steady beat of the younger girl's heart. Shinobu knew immediately that she had found something precious, something worth protecting with all her strength
.
.
.
She could have had the fairytale romance that Kanae had dreamed of for her when she was still alive. A happy life full of love. Surrounded by her five little foster sisters. A perfect alpha. Maybe a cub or two in the future. Her story could have been something beautiful and perfect, if only she hadn't thrown away Nezuko's trust and feelings. All for what?
I wish I could go back in time and act differently, but I know I can't change what happened. Forgive me, Nezuko. I'm a selfish idiot and I'll understand if after this you decide to hate me for the rest of your life.
‘ ...- tell me your last words. I'm listening.’
Alpha...
It hurts.
It's cold.
Kanao...
I'm scared.
Save me.
Aoi...
I'm sorry...
It hurts.
Girls...
Kanae...
I don't want to die.
" Go to hell, you fucking bastard. "