Chapter 19
Elizabeth's dreams were plagued by memories of the war and of her past family. Her father and mother were turning up in every corner, spitting hateful things at her. There were flashes of light, spells, flung all around and the screams of students and the smell of rubble and dust. No matter where she ran or turned, she couldn’t get away and she felt like she was suffocating. She couldn’t get a breath in, dust clogged her throat and her nose making it impossible. Just when she was sure she would pass out, her mother popped up in front of her and just watched cruelly as she lay there gasping for breath. Elizabeth cried out to her but her voice was gone and she couldn’t force out a single sound. She gathered all her strength to scream and forced it out of her mouth.
Elizabeth hit the floor of her room with a thud and she gasped. The fall had knocked the wind out of her and just like in her dreams, she couldn’t breath and she couldn’t make a noise. She dimly registered footsteps rushing towards her and wondered when the door had opened. Unfamiliar arms scooped her up and she panicked even more, starting to thrash around. Whoever was holding her firmly grabbed her wrists and tucked them between her body and theirs, pinning them in place while she struggled. Strong arms wrapped around her and she felt herself being bounced gently. As she started to calm down, albeit unwillingly, she realised whoever had her was shushing her softly. She still didn’t know who on earth had her, though. It wasn’t either of the boys, nor Uncle Lucius, and it was certainly not Aunt Cissy.
She finally threw her head back in order to look up and froze when she saw Severus Snape looking back at her. It took her brain several moments to process what exactly was going on before her panic returned, but for a whole new reason. She desperately started squirming again to be let go of. Snape let out an exasperated snort when she managed to get a hand free and tried to pry one of his arms away.
“Ada Cox, if you do not stop this behaviour right this moment, there will be consequences.” He said quietly but firmly.
Years of listening to her professor's commanding voice in Potions seemed to kick in and she froze again. She was trembling still and he sighed tiredly. When he had flood into the manor, he had expected to simply go straight up to the warm, soft bed that was waiting for him across the hall. He hadn’t expected to hear a strangled shout, or an alarming thud, nor had he expected to open the door to find one of his most withdrawn students thrashing about on the floor, struggling to come out of a nightmare. For such a frail looking little thing, she was surprisingly strong. Though, he supposed, adrenaline may play a factor in that. He gently set her back on her bed and picked up the quilts that had fallen to the floor.
“Now, Mrs. Cox, are you all right? Are you hurt?”
“It's Malfoy. Elizabeth Malfoy sir.”
Snape paused, and took in this new information but nodded once to himself. He’d simply ask Lucius in the morning.
“Thank you for correcting me. Now, are you hurt? You fell out of bed and with all that thrashing I’m concerned you may have some scrapes or bruises.” He said.
Elizabeth wiggled her toes and moved her legs, checking for any soreness. As she pressed along her shins and knees she winced a couple times, no doubt where the bruises Snape was concerned about would form. She did the same to her arms and then shrugged.
“I’m okay, I’ve had worse.” she said simply.
“That's not what I-” Snape started but she interrupted him with a gasp.
“We forgot!” She cried worriedly.
“Forgot what?” he tried to ask but she didn’t seem to hear.
“I’ve got to go get Draco, he’ll help.”
“Help with what?”
Elizabeth was gone before he was able to make her explain but reappeared a moment later, pulling a sleepy Draco past the door. He saw Snape and waved to his godfather but let Elizabeth keep pulling him along. He curiously followed them all the way down to the kitchen. Draco was pulling things out of the cabinet while she waited anxiously. The way she stood there, twisting her fingers, reminded him of every time they had a surprise test in class, or a lesson change, or any change of sorts for that matter. A creature of habit through and through.
As Draco pulled out the bottle, Elizabeth looked over at Snape with trepidation and leaned in to whisper to Draco.
“Do we have to put it in a bottle bottle? Can we maybe skip that part for tonight?” She asked.
“Sorry girlie, rules are rules. And Severus won’t judge anyways.” Draco said, not caring to whisper at all.
She blushed adorably and snuck another look at Snape who met her stare with a raised eyebrow. She pleadingly looked back at Draco who shook his head no and handed her the completed bottle. Elizabeth took it with an anxious look and ran out the kitchen, up the stairs, and to her room. She had heard footsteps following her up the stairs so she slid under her bed, curling up with her bottle. She might not like the container it came in but she craved routine and it was settling. Something she desperately needed after her nightmare. Her door swing open and she saw Snape’s shiny shoes followed a moment later by Draco’s stockinged feet.
“She’s in here at least so I wouldn’t worry too much about finding her.” Draco said with a jaw splitting yawn.
“Why did she flee?” Snape asked curiously.
“Father and Mother have her drinking a nutrient potion three times a day. She has it in a bottle though and I suppose was embarrassed by you seeing it since you’re the dreaded potions master. She’ll warm up to you though. She’s really quite affectionate. If you can pull her out of wherever she’s hidden and get her to let you feed her, she’ll pretty much melt in your lap. She makes an excellent cuddle buddy.”
Draco patted his godfathers shoulder and retreated for the night. Snape hesitated for a moment before closing the door behind Draco. He already knew where she was hiding, having heard her indignation huff at Draco’s words, but chose to sit in the rocking chair. She’d crawl out sooner or later, he knew.
Elizabeth, however, was not having it. She drank her bottle curled up in the furthest corner under her bed from Snape. She wasn’t going to cave as easily as Draco said she would. Once she finished her bottle though, she became sleepy. As her breathing slowly evened out, her eyes closed and she found herself right between the worlds of awake and asleep. She was vaguely aware that her mind had started dreaming when she jerked awake again with a start, having dreamed that she had slipped and fallen. She smacked her forehead on her bed slats and hit her hand against the wall.
Silence prevailed for a second before she started crying for the second time that night. She was barely aware of Snape pulling her out from under her bed as she clutched her forehead. When she felt something slick and wet around her fingers and saw red, her crying doubled. Snape pulled her hand away, casting a quick series of spells to numb, clean, and then close the big scratch on her head. She calmed slightly when the pain left but couldn’t quiet herself completely. Severus held her in his lap, rocking gently, in an attempt to sooth her. She hiccuped and leaned into him.
She finally stopped crying and when he looked down, he saw that she was sucking on her fingers, eyes blinking heavily. She’d definitely tired herself out tonight. She’d tired him out too. He didn’t dare move until she was asleep but started humming an old muggle lullaby that his mother had sung to him when he was small. It seemed to do the trick as she was fully asleep just a few minutes later.
He carefully stood up, still holding her. He lay her down gently on her bed, tucking the covers tightly around her. After thinking for a moment, he conjured low railings around her to keep her from falling out of bed again and then placed a teddy bear in her arms. He watched her sleep for a moment, gears turning in his head, before leaving silently. She slept on, finally in a deep and dreamless sleep.
Snape was up early the next morning, despite his late night. He waited patiently for Lucius and Narcissa to come for breakfast whilst enjoying his own meal and the paper. He didn’t have to wait long, however, as Narcissa was also an early riser.
“Good morning Severus, I’m so glad you made it in last night!” She greeted him warmly.
“Thank you Narcissa, I need to speak to you, though. It’s about Ada, or Elizabeth as she informed me last night.”
“Wait a moment for Lucius, dear. He’ll be right in.”
Lucius appeared, almost as if he’d been summoned by his name. He greeted his friend enthusiastically and sat down to eat.
“Severus has something to discuss with us regarding our niece.” Narcissa said, patting his hand.
“Oh? You have our full attention.” Lucius promised solemnly.
“Right, well I came in late last night and as I passed what I now know to be her door, I heard her start crying out. I rushed in to see her on the floor clearly in the throes of a nightmare. It took me ages to get her calm and she panicked too, when she snapped out of it and saw me holding her. Then, once she was fully reasonable again, she ran off to fetch Draco and he made her nutrient potion in a bottle. Now from that, I gather you’re hoping to help her regress, correct?” The couple nodded and so he continued.
“I think, considering all she’s endured, that it’s the right path. However, I do think you need to speed things along. She’s more than ready I think. She’s already adopted more childish mannerisms than I’ve ever seen her display in class, even as a first year. I noticed she was in nappy pants, which is good but I think more could be useful, even just for her physical health. Last night I saw many bumps and bruises on her legs and arms. I would be willing to bet she fell out of bed earlier that day so I put up a railing around her bed. Make her room more uniquely her while also keeping it more childish. Engage her in play. Anything to let her be a child again.”
Severus finished and sat back in his chair, waiting to see how his friends would respond. They were nodding thoughtfully and finally Lucius spoke.
“I completely agree with everything. We’ve already seen quite a bit of regression when she’s sleepy, tired, or just out of sorts. I think getting her to regress normal would be incredibly beneficial. When she has, she’s already quite young, maybe no more than a toddler emotionally. I think when she regresses fully we’ll have a very sweet baby on our hands who needs all the love and care we can give.”
A loud thump from upstairs cut their conversation short and all three adults rushed to investigate. They could hear sniffling from Elizabeth’s room quite clearly, and upon opening the door, they found her on her floor, nursing a scraped knee and elbow.
“What happened?” Narcissa asked, rushing to her niece's side.
“I was trying to get out of bed! I tried climbing over the little railing but then my foot got caught and I fell.”
“Why didn’t you call for one of us?” Severus asked, frowning.
“I can do it on my own!” Elizabeth snapped then stiffened, realising how she’d spoken to her professor.
“Elizabeth, is that how we speak to anyone?” Lucius warned.
“No.” She mumbled. “But I do mean it, I can do it on my own.”
“Can you, though? Didn’t you get hurt trying to climb out?” Severus reminded.
Beth just shrugged and wouldn’t look at anyone. Narcissa sighed and cast a quick spell to mend her scrapes before pulling the girl up. As she moved, Beth blushed bright red, drawing the attention of all three adults.
“What’s wrong?” Narcissa asked.
Beth shook her head and tried to move away but her aunt held firmly to her wrist.
“Tell me? Are you still hurt? What’s wrong?”
Ada still refused to answer and instead tugged herself free. She scampered off down to the dining room to snatch a bite to eat, fully intending on taking it to the library. When she tried to pick up a piece of toast, she was unable to move it and she remembered too late that she wasn’t allowed to feed herself. She huffed an annoyed sigh and turned to go to the library without but ran straight into Uncle Lucius who picked her up and sat down with her. She squirmed around and glared at everyone. She was not in a happy mood today. Lucius tried to let her mood run its course but when she refused yet another forkful of food by shoving it away he'd had enough.
“All right, little girl, we’re going to have a conversation.” He said sternly and took her from the room.
As soon as he stood up, she froze and went pale. Her mind went back to her parents' idea of talking and she started trembling. When they got to Lucius’ study, he set her down on the couch and sat beside her.
“What's going on Picolina? I know you know how to behave better than this.” He said gently.
She shrugged and picked at a piece of lace on her nightgown.
“Do you know what I think?” he asked. She still didn’t respond so he continued. “I think that you’re overwhelmed and tired and it's causing you to have difficulty regulating your emotions. I think that maybe, we’ve overwhelmed you with too many choices and options all at once and you might desire less of that?”
She nodded tearfully, the lace blurring through the tears in her eyes. She was so tired and overwhelmed and she was tired of having to be in so much control all the time. The short moments where they decided everything for her had been blissful and a huge relief. Lucius nodded thoughtfully to himself before sending his patronus to summon Narcissa. They might as well have this conversation now, especially since she seemed more ready than they realised. Narcissa came in just as Lucius scooped up Elizabeth and cuddled her close so she sat in Elizabeth’s vacated seat.
“So, is our little grump feeling any better?” Narcissa asked.
Elizabeth shook her head, sparking small smiles from her aunt and uncle.
“She might not be feeling better now but we might be able to help her.” Lucius said. “I think that Severus was right and she might not just be ready but might need more. She’s feeling very overwhelmed with all the options we’ve given her since she came and needs a bit less to think about and be responsible for. It's time for Elizabeth to just be a kid, something I don’t know if she ever had.”
Narcissa nodded and took Beth’s hand in hers, squeezing it for encouragement.
“Elizabeth, darling, you may have caught on but we’ve been slowly acclimating you to a type of home therapy called regression therapy. That's why we’ve been treating you as if you are younger than you are. Has it been something you’ve enjoyed?”
Beth thought for a second but then nodded resolutely. She had enjoyed it very much. No one had ever taken care of her that much and she loved the feeling of being cared for.
“Then, with your permission, we’d like to go all the way. We think that giving you the chance to regrow up, this time with an actual childhood could be really beneficial for you.”
“What does that mean?” She asked carefully.
“Well, we’ll keep doing what we have been doing so bottles, naps, hand feeding, etc. but we’ll add more. We’ll help dress you, carry you as if you’re younger, your clothing will be younger looking, we’ll give you toys to play with, read you children’s books, and probably change out your bed for a crib- especially after this morning. We’ll give you a high chair for the table if you’d like too, or keep you on our laps. For now, we’ll stick with Nappy pants unless they prove to be not absorbent enough, in which case we’ll switch to regular nappies. We’ll talk about any charges we make beforehand though. Is there anything that you strongly dislike about all that or something you’d like to add?” Lucius asked.
“Um, if I get in trouble… I mean, when I disobey- um, do I have to be spanked?” She finally got out.
“No, absolutely not. Given your history of abuse, discipline will look more like time outs, conversations, privilege loss, or at the very worst, writing lines.” Narcissa assured.
Elizabeth relaxed with a grateful sigh.
“Then I agree,” she said decidedly.
Narcissa and Lucius smiled in relief and hugged their niece tightly. They were amazed and gladdened by how easy the decision had been for her. She’d come to trust them so much in such a short amount of time and they knew it was the beginning of her path to healing.
“Now, are you ready to go back out?” Lucius asked gently.
“No, Professor Snape is out there.” She said softly.
“Why does it matter that he is out there?” Narcissa asked Curiously.
“He doesn’t like me very much and I don’t think last night will have helped any.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t not like you, I know he’s all grumpy and curmudgeonly at Hogwarts but he wouldn’t dare dislike another soon to be godchild.” Lucius assured.
“Godchild?” Elizabeth asked.
“When we’ve officially adopted you, he’ll become your godfather, just like he is to Draco and became to Blaise. And I’m sure he’ll start spoiling you in the meantime, heavens knows he spoils the boys enough.” Narcissa explained.
Elizabeth wrinkled her nose, whether in distaste or confusion, Narcissa wasn’t sure.
“He was actually very worried about you,” Lucius told the girl. He came to talk to us first thing this morning. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t like you.”
“Okay fine, I’ll go out.” She finally conceded, “But I’m not going to like him if he keeps being all mean.”
“That’s completely fair,” Lucius laughed. “I don’t think he’ll be mean though. Let’s go say hi.”
Lucius picked up his girl again and carried her to the dining room with Narcissa trailing behind. Elizabeth hid her face in his shoulder, refusing to look up so Lucius gave Severus a thumbs up.
Elizabeth allowed herself to be fed, though not much. She wasn’t very hungry after having a bottle so late at night. Once she was done, and she was permitted to leave, she scampered off to the library, stopping by her room to snag her quilt, and then found a tight little book in which to read. Reading, however, quickly turned into a morning nap.