Chapter 14
Since she seemed to be rather attached to Blaise this morning, the others silently agreed that for now they should just let her be with him. They all quietly excused themselves from the table so that it was just Blaise and Ada sitting there.
“What do you want to do this morning?
“Nothing. ‘M tired.”
“You’re tired? How? You slept on me until nearly ten!” Blaise pretended to be incredulous but smiled since she couldn’t see his face.
“I’m tired.” she mumbled into his neck again, only slightly clearer. “I don’t feel well.”
“Yeah, I bet you don’t.” Blaise said softly and sighed.
He stroked her hair for a moment, trying to think of what they could do that wouldn’t exhaust her or make her fever worse. Finally, he thought of something and sat up straighter, pulling her away from him ever so slightly.
“Did you ever read Tales of Beedle and the Bard?”
“No,” Ada said softly. “Mother read it to my brothers but not to me…” her voice trailed off into nothing at the end and she tried to move away from Blaise completely.
“Hey, hold on love. Come back here.”
He pulled her tightly against him again and looked down. She was staring at her hands and picked at the edge of one of the bandages. He made a mental note to have Draco help him change them. He hugged her tightly and stood up.
“Let's go read Beedle and the Bard, okay? And then you can take a nap.”
“I don’t want a nap.”
“You just said you were tired!” Blaise said, actually incredulous this time.
Ada didn’t say anything so Blaise sighed and stood up and held her against his side like a child. She hid her face back in the crook of his neck. When he reached the top of the stairs, Draco was already waiting for them. He made grabby hands so with a roll of his eyes, Blaise passed Ada over to him. She squirmed and whined before freezing when she realised how childish she was acting. Her face grew hot with embarrassment and both boys could see the pink on her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands and Draco sent a soft smile over her head to Blaise. She was honestly just adorable!
“I told her we’d read Tales of Beedle and the Bard and then go down for a nap.” Blaise said, having pity on Ada.
“I told you, I don’t want to take a nap.” Ada mumbled from behind her hands.
Draco rolled his eyes and turned towards his room.
“I had a feeling we’d have a low key day today so I took the liberty of setting us up a nice cosy room.” Draco sounded rather pleased with himself and only felt more so when Ada lowered her hands to see what he had arranged.
His fire had been built up to warm the entire room and in front of it was a spread of pillows, cushions, and blankets. On a low end table was a steaming pot of hot chocolate and three large mugs, along with bowls of peppermint sticks, marshmallows, and soft caramels. Ada wouldn’t admit it but it looked like the best thing she had ever seen. It was so warm and welcoming! Despite her exhaustion, the pain in her hands, and the overall crumminess she had been feeling, she felt happy and content here.
Draco set her down on a pile of cushions and she happily snuggled down into them as he laid a blanket over her. Blaise summoned his copy of the book along with new bandages and ointment.
“Draco, before we get all settled, can you change her hand bandages please?”
Ada glared at Blaise and pulled her blanket over her head. He flicked it off with a quick wave of his wand and she curled up into a tight little ball, clasping her hands to her chest at the very centre.
“Come on, Ada. The sooner we get it over with the sooner we can start reading.” Draco cajoled.
She didn’t respond so both boys came to sit beside her.
“Come on little love,” Blaise said softly. “It won’t take long at all.”
When she still didn’t respond Draco gently pulled her into his lap.
“How about I hold you here and keep your hands steady for Blaise? He’ll get it done with as fast as possible and then once they are all nice and bandaged up again, we’ll have hot cocoa! You can add whatever you want to yours.”
She cautiously looked up at Draco and he added his final bribe.
“You can suck on a piece of peppermint stick while he does it…”
She reluctantly nodded and let Draco manoeuvre her into a more comfortable position. Blaise offered her a half piece of peppermint to suck on as Draco gently but firmly held out her hands to Blaise. Once she had closed her eyes and was furiously sucking on the candy he quickly unwrapped both, murmuring apologies with each hiss of pain she let out. She tried to jerk her hands away when he actually cleaned them but Draco held her still. Once the healing salve had been reapplied and the bandages rewrapped she sunk back against Draco almost bonelessly.
“Good job, Elizabeth. I’m proud of you!” Draco whispered in her ear.
She turned slightly pink and Draco filed that away for future use. Chances are she had rarely received any sort of positive feedback while growing up so she just soaked it up.
“So what do you want in your hot cocoa?” Blaise asked, already pouring her a mug.
“I don’t care, whatever's good I guess.” she shrugged.
“Surely you have some sort of preference, do you particularly like one of these more than the other?”
“I don’t know.”
“How can you not know??? It’s your taste buds and your mouth!” Draco pointed out.
“I just don’t! Besides, I don’t even want cocoa anymore.” Ada said shortly. “May I go take a nap?”
Both boys had originally been wanting to dig and figure out what had upset her but with a glance decided that could wait until after she slept a little.
“Of course, do you want to sleep in here and we can turn down the lights or you can go to your room and sleep in your bed. It's up to you.” Draco said.
“Can- can I sleep in here?” She said softly and uncertainly.
“Of course, let's all get situated and then we’ll turn off the lights and shutter the window. Do you want a blanket?”
She nodded and Blaise spread one of the many around them on top of her. Draco banished their hot cocoa to the kitchen and dimmed all the lights in the room.
“Do you want us to stay with you?” Blaise softly asked.
“Just till I fall asleep? Please?” she whispered and hid her face in the blanket.
“Of course little love.” Blaise said and smoothed her hair.
He lay down on one side and Draco on the other, each grabbing their own blankets and wiggling around until they were comfy as well. Draco cut the lights all the way as they settled down. It was silent for a moment before Ada sat up to look at the two boys.
“I’m sorry for being bratty. I got overwhelmed and then frustrated because I was overwhelmed.”
“Hey, it's okay! You have kind of had an emotional rollercoaster of two weeks, you’re actually doing really well all things considered.” Draco said and reached out to hold her hand in his.
“Do you want to tell us why you felt overwhelmed?” Blaise asked.
“Mmm, I think because there were too many choices. And I genuinely didn’t know what I wanted. I wasn’t allowed sweets growing up and while I was at school it still felt wrong to have sweets so I never tried them unless someone gave something to me. And it’s embarrassing to not know what I like. And then you made me feel even more embarrassed by asking how I could not know.”
“I guess that would be overwhelming and hard. We didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed about it, and it's okay that you don’t know yet. Would it help if in the future we instead asked what you want to try rather than what you like?” Blaise asked.
“Yeah, I guess. Making choices can still be overwhelming though. I don’t like having to decide a million little things every day. It makes me tired and anxious.”
“Understandable. But we also don’t want you to feel trapped here and like you don’t have a choice in anything.” Draco said gently.
“But I’d let you know if I did feel trapped!”
“Would you though? Verbally rather than reacting like running away while sick and not letting a single soul know where you are?”
Ada grudgingly shook her head no and Blaise had to laugh. At least she was honest. He gently pulled Ada down until she lay down and covered herself with the blanket again.
“How about this? We will take care of the little decisions that you don’t want and all you have to say is “I don’t want to decide.’ Does that work?” Blaise suggested.
She was silent for a moment, thinking it over and then nodded.
“That’ll work. But if I don’t like your decision I can tell you and you redecide right?”
“I think that's fair.” Draco said and started running his fingers through her hair. “Now take your nap, you’ll probably feel better afterwards.
Ada closed her eyes and let herself relax. She was warm and hearing the crackling of the fire was nice. So was hearing the breathing of the boys next to her. After such a whirlwind of a week and a half she felt like she’d never not be tired again. The last good night of sleep she’d had was her first night with Pansy. It felt like ages ago! As she thought about this she fell asleep again. In her sleep she shifted onto her stomach and Draco started to gently rub up and down, watching her peaceful face.
“She feels so young.” Draco said.
“I suppose so, yeah.” Blaise quietly answered, starting to grow sleepy himself.
“Do you wanna know something interesting that I learned in the psychology book she lent me?”
“What's that?”
“Some people regress in the face of trauma, or in realising that something may have been traumatic. I think she’s feeling both right now, realising that what she experienced was traumatic and also experiencing trauma as she is disowned. And I feel like there's something else going on that we don’t know about. But regardless, she’s started to act a little more childishly than when we first got to know her.”
“I guess that's true. Like when she whined today when I passed her to you?”
“Exactly, and agreeing to let us carry her at all. Or even running away and hiding like last night.”
“The conversation we just had though wasn’t very childish at all. It was actually a very productive adult conversation.”
“And that's good and it’ll happen! Regressing doesn't mean you are a child, just that you act like one to protect yourself from something.”
Both boys were propped up on their elbows, whispering over Ada. She shifted in her sleep and they froze for a second before continuing.
“So regressing isn’t just a wizarding thing? Muggles use it as well?”
“Not really, actually. They know about it and they have some people who do it subconsciously like she is but they don’t encourage it or use it as a tool to deal with the effects of childhood neglect and abuse.” Draco said. “But they also use the same term for when a young child starts to go back a little bit in development. It's interesting.”
“So if she’s already regressing on her own, are your parents encouraging it to go quicker, or just letting it happen at her pace?” Balsie asked thoughtfully, smoothing Ada’s hair away from her face.
“I think a bit of both? They haven’t really talked about it with me but just knowing them they’d want to be very gentle with it. Especially since she’s a flight risk. I am curious though, how far she’ll naturally regress. When she has so far, like when she’s sleepy and her guard is down she already acts so little.”
Draco lay back down and Blaise was silent for a while, mulling it over in his mind. He suddenly thought of something else, however, and sat straight up again.
“How do you think we can help her stop fighting the bottles? She gets so upset each time even though it tastes okay, if not really good.”
“We can try associating it with something she enjoys like reading or playing with her hair. Or maybe making sure she’s really relaxed when we give it to her. And make sure to praise her for doing well.”
“I don’t understand how you can be so smart and know all the things but have abso;utley no skill follow through. One of life's greatest mysteries.” Blaise said and laughed.
“I just get all excited and then manage to bungle something up. It makes me sad because then people aren’t comfy or get hurt but I don’t mean to make them feel bad.”
“I know Dray, I’m just teasing.”
They both looked up as Narcissa came in quietly and both held a finger to their lips and looked pointedly at Ada’s sleeping form.
“Aww, sweet. How is she doing?” she said softly
“Okay, she's still pretty warm and tired so obviously fighting something off.” Blaise said.
“We just put more slave and bandages on her hand a little over an hour ago. I feel like they should have healed by now so I don’t understand what's going on.” Draco added.
“Hmm, they should have. Her fever may be part of why they aren’t healing but I'd like to take a look. Would you let me know when she wakes up?”
“Of course, we can bring her down to wherever you are. Do you want her to eat or have her potion first?”
“Maybe a bit of both? A light snack and maybe half of what it normally is?”
Draco and Blaise nodded as she left and lay back down, intending to sleep while waiting for Ada to wake up.