24 oct 2025
“But, Nick, you prooomiiiseed!” Charlie whines incessantly.
“I didn’t promise shit!”
“Yes in fact you did, you said, ‘Charlie, my love, my favorite person in the world, I promise that if you completely undermine your taste and moral code to dress as Spider-Man for Halloween, I will dress in a hot little skirt.’”
“I definitely did not say that!”
“Oh, so I’m not your favorite person in the world?”
“Char, you know you’re my favorite person –”
“So you’ll do it?!”
Nick pauses for a moment, silent. He gazes at Charlie’s bright blue eyes, giving him the puppy dog look that always melts his heart. Those eyes that could convince him to rob a bank if they tried. He sighs, defeated.
“Fine. But you owe me a billion kisses!”
Charlie laughs, wrapping his arms around Nick’s broad shoulders, resting his hands on the back of his neck. He slowly pulls the tall boy’s lips between his own. They breathe each other’s air, warm and at peace.
“Only nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine more to go.”
“You’d better get to work.” Nick tightens his grip on Charlie’s dark locks of hair, pulling him closer by his waist.
“Ahem –” A loud cough startles the boys out of their stupor. “Are you two going to actually look for costumes or just stand there flirting?” They turn to see the rest of their group staring at them, eyebrows raised and arms crossed.
“Yeah, Isaac’s right, you could at least take your steamy makeout-sesh to one of the changing rooms–” Darcy quips, wiggling her eyebrows and laughing.
“You definitely should not do that.” Isaac interrupts.
“Yeah, I’d quite like to still be able to shop here.” Elle adds, turning her ‘mom eyes’ on them.
“Charlie just can’t help himself, he’s even picked out this unbelievably tiny skirt for me to wear on Halloween, I mean he really does have absolutely no shame–”
“NICK!”
“Well, am I wrong?” Nick doubles down on the shameless flirting, staring deeply into Charlie’s eyes in the way he knows drives the other boy crazy.
“Just– shut up…” Charlie stares at the tile floor, cheeks bright red and wishing the ground would swallow him whole.
“Is everyone ready to check out? I’ve got a ton of coupons.” Charlie silently thanks Imogen for her clever skill of ending awkward conversations. The group simultaneously mutter their responses and walk towards the checkout. They leave the charity shop with their arms full of tacky patterned shirts and ugly prom dresses. They part ways and the girls (minus Tori) and Tao pile into Imogen’s car, while the boys (minus Tao) and Tori get in Nick’s car. Nick drops Isaac home, then drops Tori and Michael at the library, leaving him and Charlie to drive home alone.
“You can put on your spotify if you want.”
“Cool, thanks.” Charlie plugs his phone into the aux and randomly selects one of his many playlists. Setting his phone down, he leans back in the passenger seat. A steady beat starts and he nods along, watching as they slowly pass by the picturesque houses. Nick is driving along what they lovingly call the “scenic route” (a path that adds 10 minutes to the drive to Nick’s house). Charlie never complains when they take it, though. Nick’s eyes light up as he points out his favorite houses, smiling at the dogs peering through the windows. Charlie would never admit it, but he loves to imagine living there with Nick one day.
He suddenly snaps out of his musings as a discordant string tune blasts over the speakers. After a few seconds, the chaotic rhythm settles into a steady, eerie beat.
Take my eyes, take them aside
Take my face, and desecrate
My arms and legs, they get in the way
Charlie feels his chest tighten, his breath catching in his lungs. Fuck is all he can seem to think. He vaguely remembers the first time he heard the song, a few years ago when his mental health was particularly bad, how his pulse had started racing and his thoughts blurred and he lost sensation in his extremities and
If he were able to think clearly enough right now he’d probably laugh at himself. Having a panic attack over a song is stupid enough. Saving it to his playlist because he somehow still liked it is downright idiotic.
And now here he is again, freaking out the same way, losing his mind all over again, and
“Char?”
The soft voice momentarily shocks him out of his panic. Enough for him to turn his head, his wide eyes meeting Nick’s.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
And just like that Nick is pausing the music and pulling into the closest driveway, barely breaking enough to put the car in park, reaching over to comfort Charlie.
“You’re okay, just breathe. Focus on me, listen to my voice.” Nick slowly accentuates his own breathing. “You’re having a panic attack, you’re safe though. Do you want me to hold your hands?” Charlie nods weakly, using all his energy to halt his frantic breathing. Nick gently wraps Charlie’s hands in his own, rubbing slow circles over them with his thumbs.
“It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” Charlie takes one last shaking inhale before resting his head on his boyfriend’s strong shoulder.
“Sorry-”
“Hey, I definitely banned the ‘s’ word.”
“Sorry I-”
“Charlie, love, you don’t have to apologize.”
“I-”
“Don’t say it.” Charlie manages a giggle at that.
“Thank you. For being here for me. I don’t really know why I- I mean it’s stupid, it’s just a silly song and I…” He lets his voice trail off, unable to find the right words through the fog in his brain.
“It’s okay. I don’t think it’s stupid. Sometimes things are just shocking. Life doesn’t always make sense.”
“Yeah I guess.”
Nick reaches his hand up, running his fingers through the tufts of dark hair. He closes his eyes, breathing in the scent he’s come to crave. Lavender shampoo and clean linen and something else that’s just so uniquely Charlie.
“You feel okay to finish the drive to mine?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Charlie pauses, chuckling as he looks up to notice the car practically parked on the poor homeowner’s lawn. “You’d better get going before they notice your bumper right outside their front door.”
“Hey, I’m performing very important boyfriend duties, they can’t blame me for my poor parking skills.”
“As if you’re any good at parking normally.” Charlie scoffs as Nick pulls back just slightly, eyes and mouth cartoonishly wide.
“Are you sure you want to say that to your designated taxi driver?”
“You love driving me around.” Charlie playfully scrunches his nose and pecks his boyfriend’s cheek.
“What can I say, I simply adore you.”
Nick places a kiss on the small boy’s forehead and returns to his position in the driver’s seat, keeping one hand intertwined with Charlie’s as he puts the car into gear again.
“It’s silly, I actually do quite like that song. I had a panic attack the first time I heard it but I still saved it to my playlist.”
Nick smiles, turning his attention to the passenger seat as much as he can without running off the road.
“You really are a mystery, Charlie Spring.” He pauses, then nervously interjects, “In a good way! I think it’s great that you’re mysterious, I quite like it.”
“Thanks, Nick.”
They ride in content silence for the remainder of the drive to Nick’s house. The trees lull by, their leaves turning orange and yellow and brown, a perfect sea of warmth against the cool grey backdrop of the sky. When they do eventually arrive outside the peaceful brown townhome, Nick presses a kiss to Charlie’s knuckles before racing out of the car. Since Charlie always gets adorably flustered when Nick opens doors for him, Nick makes a point of doing it as often as possible. He has to be quick about it though, now that Charlie’s caught on.
The tall boy dramatically pulls the side door open, managing a clumsy half-bow. Charlie’s face flushes as he gingerly exits the car.
“You really don’t have to do that… I can do that sort of thing myself.”
“Sure, but what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t spoil you? Certainly not a very chivalrous one.”
The boys walk hand in hand up the stairs to Nick’s room, where they dump their bags of goodies on the floor and collapse onto the bed.
“Are you sure you’re okay going to Sahar’s party next week?” Nick gently nudges his boyfriend as he asks the question. He tries not to let all the worry he feels creep into his voice. This time last year Charlie was in hospital, and Nick felt completely alone, the last thing he wants is to force Charlie into another uncomfortable situation.
“Yeah! I’m actually really excited for Halloween this year! You know, since last year I…” went crazy? Charlie tries to find a way to finish his sentence, but all the words he can think of leave a bad taste in his mouth. As much as he’s grown since last year, he still gets shivers when he thinks about those months.
“Okay, just let me know if you’re feeling uncomfortable because we can totally leave if you want to, I mean I’d rather just hang out with you anyway, so-”
“Hey, slow down, you’re starting to sound like me.” Charlie chuckles a bit. “Don’t worry. I’m feeling a lot better now. Plus, Halloween is my favorite holiday.”
“Really? I’m surprised I never knew that.”
“Yeah, I guess I just like the idea of, being someone else. Or pretending to be. At least for a little while.”
Nick frowns slightly, cupping the smaller boy’s cheek in his hand. He lightly brushes his thumb over the soft skin. He can’t help but smile. He doesn’t even notice time passing when he stares at Charlie. The thought of loving someone so beautiful, and being loved by them in return. It’s enough to sustain him for an eternity.
“Well, I must say, I like the person you are.”
Neither could say how much time passes in the silence, but they don’t mind either way. They lie there, content to share in each other’s presence.
“Are you sure you still want to do the other costumes? I know we bought stuff today, but we could return it if you wanted and just do the Spider-Man costumes, we don’t have to–”
“No, I’d like to do your ideas as well! I think it’ll be really cool.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Charlie. In fact, I think I’d look quite good as King Arthur.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, and I reckon you’ll look very nice in your, er, wizard costume as well.”
“You’ve never seen Merlin, have you?”
“No, not once.”
“Remind me to make you watch it sometime.”
“Why not now?”
Charlie shifts his weight so he’s resting completely on top of Nick.
“Too comfy.”
Nick smiles, rubbing soft circles on Charlie’s back and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“Of course, my love.”
Charlie presses his ear to the firm chest beneath him, relishing in the soft thudding heartbeat. He lets the sound wash over him, shoulders releasing a tension he forgot he was carrying.
“And you’re still okay with the other costume?”
“Yeah I think it’s really cool!” Nick’s voice drops to an incoherent mutter. “Ndlsuhthnkewlukhtnthserppdjns.”
“What?” Charlie lifts his head slightly to glance at his boyfriend’s bright red face.
“Thnkewlukhtnthserppdjns.”
“Nick, I have absolutely no idea what you’re trying to say.”
“I THINK YOU LOOK HOT IN THE BLACK RIPPED JEANS.” Charlie giggles mischeviously as his boyfriend lifts both hands to cover his face.
“Oh, do you?”
“Shut up.”
“No, I don’t think I will. You think I’m unbelievably sexy in those jeans? Is it the black or just the rips?”
“... it’s both…”
Charlie gently lifts one of Nick’s hands so he can stare into his eyes.
“Thank you. I suppose I’ll have to wear them more often.”
“Oh, definitely.”
“That’s another thing we’ll have to do when you come over. Read those books.”
“Yeah, I’d like that. My mum used to read me the first series but we sort of gave up when I got to year 6.”
“I’ve read all of them.”
“You little nerd.”
“I’m not a nerd…”
“Yeah, you are, but it’s okay, I think it’s cute.”
“Thanks… I am looking forward to seeing you in your Mary Jane costume.”
“Of course you are. You chose the tiniest skirt in the entire shop! What will my mum say when she sees me?”
“She’ll say you look cute, you always look cute.”
“Well what will Oliver say? We’re taking him Trick-or-Treating before the party.”
“He’ll be too interested in his own costume to notice yours.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Plus, he’s very excited to get to do a group costume with his favorite big brother, Nick.”
“But you’re his favorite big brother. I’m not even related to him.”
“Not anymore. He thinks you’re the greatest. He talks about you more than I do, actually.”
“That’s really sweet, actually. I–” Nick feels a sudden pang of sadness. He swallows, trying to brush it away. “I’ve never really had that sort of relationship with David.”
Charlie runs his hand over Nick’s shoulder, looking up at him.
“Well, Olly and I are both happy to have you.”
“Thanks. I’m glad to have you.” Nick pauses, then nervously adds, “But I’m glad we’re not actually brothers because I really like kissing you.”
“I like kissing you too.” Charlie accentuates the statement by planting his lips against Nick’s, savoring the warmth, burying himself in this moment.