Chapter 15
“Babygirl!” Kit screamed as she opened her front door, opening her arms to welcome Bette in a warm embrace. “I missed you so much, you look amazing. Oh, and this is the Tina Kennard, am I right?”
“Who else could she be?” Bette asked, smiling. She got out of her sister’s arms and signaled between her and her girlfriend. “Baby, this is my older sister Kit; Kit, this is Tina. You already know her”, she said, introducing both women.
“It’s such a pleasure to meet you” Tina said, extending a hand.
“Oh girl, please” Kit exclaimed, hugging her too. “The pleasure is mine. My babysis won’t stop gushing about you.”
Tina blushed subtly as the three of them got into the house.
Bette had wanted her sister to meet Tina since she was a teenager. She knew that both women would get along (apart from their obvious love and protectiveness towards her, they were both artistic and smart individuals with a subtle yet intelligent sense of humor), but more than anything she just wanted to integrate Tina into her family, finally. The blonde already knew a lot of her friends, because they shared the same work circle, but she wanted her to know her sister, her parents, her friends from college. She wanted her to be a part of her life in every way, sharing Thanksgiving and holidays and birthdays, and every single possible day.
Ever since Tina had told her that she loved her, the three little words shining in the air between them like Christmas’ lights in December, Bette had realized that she finally got what she always wanted, the calm and stability that she had craved for so many years. Maybe it was not that her work was hectic, or that her schedule was always packed. Maybe all that she needed was to come home every day to a house that she had trouble leaving in the morning, because she wanted to stay there, safe and warm forever.
“This is amazing, Kit” Tina said, pointing at the homemade pasta they were eating. “You should learn a thing or two about cooking, honey” she joked.
“Oh, no” Kit laughed, enjoying the collective banter towards her little sister. “Unless you want your kitchen to be set on fire, I would recommend you don’t make this one work extra time there.”
“C’mon, that’s not fair!” Bette complained, laughing along.
“One time our parents went on some trip for, like, a week” Kit started telling Tina, “and we were left alone at our house. Babysis was fifteen years old, I think, and I was working full-time, so I wasn’t at home to cook every meal. One day she came home from that crazy training she did when she was a cheerleader, and apparently, she was starving. She then proceeded to burn rice and some boiled eggs!” Kit was crying from laughter at the end of the story, remembering the look of absolute despair on her little sister’s face when she had come home to a house that smelled like a campfire had been set in the living room.
“That’s not fair!” Bette repeated, laughing along. “I was fifteen years old! It’s not like I’m Anthony Bourdain now, but I can manage around the kitchen. It’s just not my favorite thing.”
“She’s really good at making breakfast” Tina chimed in, giving her girlfriend a break. “She had mastered that art. And she can make a wicked pot of tea at midnight when I really need it.”
“Oh my god” Kit said, still smiling. “You got someone who praises you for making tea. Hold on to her, babysis.”
That night, they got ready for bed with a practiced synchronization they were mastering. Tina took her make-up off while Bette changed into her pyjamas, then Bette got into the bathroom while Tina turned all the lights of the house off. It was their little dance; a piece of routine that made them feel like life was always like that. They were already in bed, comfortable under the sheets, when Tina turned around in Bette’s arms and kissed her.
“I loved tonight,” she hummed quietly. “I really liked your sister, and I feel she liked me too.”
“Of course she did” Bette affirmed, placing a kiss on top of the blonde’s head. “Everybody likes you; you’re charming, and beautiful, and a sweetheart” she remarked every adjective with another kiss. “And pretty, and smart, and lovely.”
Tina laughed softly at her girlfriend’s antics.
“You’re silly.” The blonde said. She then paused for a brief moment before adding. “But tonight made me think, and I really wanted to ask you…”
“Ask away, baby”, Bette reassured her.
“Would you like to meet my family?” she said, her voice sounding hopeful. “We’d have to travel to North Carolina, of course, but it could be a three-day trip, nothing too fancy. But I talked to my Aunt the other day, and I miss her a lot. If you’d like it, of course, I’m sure they’ll be both thrilled to meet you.”
Bette smiled at the thought. Not only she owed that to Tina, but the idea of getting to know the women who had taken care of her girlfriend when she needed it the most was heartwarming to her.
“Of course, baby. I’d love to.”
-
The coast-to-coast flight took them so many hours that Bette lost count of them. Ok, maybe she was exaggerating (Tina often teased her about how hyperbolic her statements regarding travelling were), but she had taken so many of those long flights in the last year that she wanted to forget how a plane looked like for a year, or so. But then Tina said:
“You know, this is the first time I bring a girl with me to visit my Aunts”, and suddenly all the waiting hours and unmade suitcases spread all over her living room didn’t matter anymore.
She liked being Tina’s first girl at her Aunts’ house. She enjoyed being the one that got to held her hand while the plane took off, the shoulder in the one the blonde let her head fall to drift into sleep, the leftover cookie from the flight’s breakfast that she stole while she thought Bette wasn’t seeing.
They landed at Raleigh-Durham International Airport at noon, when the sun was shining at its highest point. She went to pick up their suitcases while Tina went to pick up the car that she had rented beforehand, and when she went to look for her girlfriend again, there was already a line of people trying to get a picture with her. Bette looked at her from afar, a proud smile already spreading on her face. She knew now how much of herself the blonde had sacrificed to be able to act in a show such as the one they shared; how much bravery had taken for her to do so. Tina deserved the recognition, the love of the people in her own hometown.
Eventually the line grew bigger, someone spotted her, and they had to ask for airport security to be able to get into their car.
“We should’ve known better” Bette said, as they were already on their way out of the airport.
“Maybe” her girlfriend responded, from behind the wheel. “But this never happened to me here. L.A. is always another story, but this one was weird.”
She was happy, Bette realized. Yeah, they had just lived a little bit of a mess, but she was happy that she just had that moment.
“I think you underestimate how much of a star you had become, baby” Bette said, reaching to caress her girlfriend’s cheek.
“Luckily we’re going to a place where they are going to treat us in the most mundane way possible” the blonde conceded. “I can’t wait. Won’t wear make-up for the whole week.”
Bette laughed at her girl’s words, almost sure that she had never worn any make up at all during their Spanish vacation, but not wanting to contradict her. Instead, she asked about her childhood and different memories around this state, and she listened carefully, making sure to remember every expression of Tina’s face to try to understand what bringing her here really meant to the blonde.
“I grew up in Raleigh, of course. I think I’ve already told you that. Robert worked in a tech company that eventually allowed us to move to Los Ángeles. I liked it there, but it was a little bit lonely to me. My friends from school were not really nice people, I already told you about all of that. So I just spent a lot of time watching movies, and that stuff.”
“But your Aunts don’t live in Raleigh” Bette stated the obvious. They wouldn’t be driving right now if they did.
“Oh, no, no. Aunt Ana is a renowned teacher at UNC, so they live in Chapel Hill.”
Bette learned then that Ana taught Grammar and Linguistics, two things she knew existed but never really understood. Tina also told her how her Aunt Gabrielle had a little bookshop next to their house that had become a popular spot for college kids to go, drink coffee and get their study done. That same bookshop had been the place where Gabrielle had met an elderly theater teacher that was the one who encouraged Tina to not leave the whole acting-thing behind, therefore being the reason of why she was an actress today.
“You’d have loved Rosalie. She was this sweet lady with a face full of wrinkles, and she owned this little theater a couple of blocks away from our house. She gave no fucks about my excuses, and she just took me to the different classes they had there. Then I found out that, well, obviously, my aunt was paying her for those classes without telling me. But Rose made the point of never letting me skip a single class, or a play. When I told her that I got cast for my first movie, she screamed so loudly she almost broke my eardrum through the phone” Tina laughed at the memory.
“She sounds like an amazing woman” Bette said, thinking of how many incredible people had constructed a web around Tina to give her all the support her parents should’ve given her.
“She was. When she got really sick, two years ago, I took a couple of days off from filming to come here. My Aunt had told me that she was, you know, in her last days, but I was able to hold her hand and tell her ‘I love you’ and thank her for everything. I was lucky enough to say goodbye. She passed away the day after, and her funeral was so full of all her students that it lasted a whole twenty-four hours. Her children were amazed at how much people loved their mother.”
When they made it to their destiny, Aunt Gabrielle pulled them both into a heartwarming embrace and said something along the lines of “finally, my girl’s home”. She was a tall and elegant woman, with her hair pulled back in a neat bun, and she looked at Tina with the look in her eyes of a mother who saw her baby daughter for the first time in many, many months.
Looking at both woman -the older one holding on to a kid that life had thrown at her, and she had accepted with welcome and loving arms; the younger one looking at the part of her blood that was her family - Bette felt like she was finally getting to know her girlfriend fully, without restrictions, in her rawer form.
-
Tina pushed the cart through the grocery store, distracted, while her girlfriend analyzed carefully the bottles of wine displayed in front of her.
“What did Ana say she was going to cook tonight?” Bette asked.
“Something with fish” Tina answered, still not paying full attention to what the other woman was searching for.
Truth be told, she had a hard time going through the places she had grown up in with Bette by her side and not feel like she was getting old. Sure, she knew objectively that time went by, and she was about to be twenty-eight years old, but she usually felt like a kid whenever she went to visit her Aunts. It’s not like it bothered her (after all, having Bette by her side was probably the biggest blessing she could ask for), but it was definitely a weird feeling to have.
She wasn’t a woman afraid of change. Her life had had so many major and unexpected changes that she just accepted them as part of being alive, and nothing more. Usually, when she was back in Chapel Hill, her Aunts and her would eat every meal on a carefully arranged table for three: Tina at the end of the table and each one of her aunts by her sides. Now, Aunt Ana had beautifully changed every position so Bette and Tina would sit on one side of the table, next to each other. It was a silly little thing, probably born out of comfort, but Tina felt like her Aunts - an established couple of more than twenty years - thought the love she shared with her girlfriend was just as important as theirs. And it was a small change, maybe an imperceptible one to many, but to her, it was beautiful. It made her feel accomplished.
It was also one of those things she couldn’t stop thinking about, therefore her inability to focus on grocery shopping.
“Here, baby”, Bette said, finally placing a bottle of white wine in the cart. “I think this might be the perfect one.”
“I’m sure it is” Tina responded, smiling. “Now, I think we should pick up some snacks, just in case. And something for dessert would be nice, too.”
“Uh, I like your thinking” Bette agreed, already re-directing them to another aisle. “Is there something you are craving?”.
“I’m always craving ice-cream, you know that. But maybe we can buy the ingredients and make some homemade brownies?” she reached for her phone to look for the recipe, already imaging the smell of warm chocolate invading the kitchen of her childhood.
“Fancy” the brunette said, with a playful tone. “I just hope you know what you’re doing”.
They found the butter, the sugar and the flour, and were already looking for some good-quality dark chocolate when Tina heard a high-pitched voice calling her name. She turned around quickly, used by now to being recognized wherever she went. She knew that was normal for other actors and actresses (Bette was one of them, although lately she had been successfully avoiding those stares by wearing sunglasses and huge hoodies every time she left the house), but for her, it was kind of like a new thing.
So she turned around with a half-smile on her face, ready to take a picture or whatever they asked for.
“Tina Kennard!” a blonde woman around her same age exclaimed. “I can’t believe I found you here. It’s been so long!”
Tina tilted her head a little bit, trying to put a name to the face in front of her. She looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite recognize where she knew her from. And suddenly it clicked: those cheekbones used to be chubbier, that blonde hair used to be darker. She used to be shorter, too, but truth be told, Tina had changed a lot too.
A decade and a half was a long time.
“Sue Jackson” she said, dryly. It wasn’t a name that brought her the best memories. “It’s been a long time, indeed.”
She wasn’t expecting this encounter, so she felt a little tense. Tina hadn’t thought of Sue in years, and to be honest, she had no idea how she felt about her. She had spent years trying to figure out everything that had happened in her childhood, and she had forgiven a lot of people, but her former friends landed in the same category as her former parents: they had been cruel without any reason. She realized there, in that grocery store aisle, between the chocolates and the jellybeans, that she still disliked the woman in front of her.
“Congratulations on your career” Sue said, her tone laced with a sweetness that made Tina uncomfortable. “I had no idea you had an actress in you”.
“Well, you knew me when I was twelve years old. I had no idea back then, either.”
By her side, Bette shifted. Tina suddenly remembered her girlfriend was there, and she extended her hand to bring her closer.
“Baby, this is Sue, she used to be my friend, I think, when I was younger. Remember Sue, Sarah, and the whole Titanic episode? I think I talked to you about that.” She said, signaling between the two women.
Bette gasped in recognition, suddenly standing a little bit closer to her, as if trying to protect her. From what, Tina didn’t know, but it made her feel better to know she was now standing in front of this person who had been so mean to her for her sexuality with the prettiest woman in the world by her side.
“Oh, that Sue” Bette said. “I’d say nice to meet you, but I haven’t heard the best stories about you. I’m Bette Porter, Tina’s girlfriend.” She extended her hand, that Sue shook weakly.
“I know who you both are” the woman responded, her hand still firmly trapped between Bette’s long fingers. “My daughter loves the show you two make.”
Tina couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the statement. To think that this woman had a daughter, and her daughter loved their little lesbian show, was an irony for the history books. A karmic compensation for herself, Tina thought.
“I bet she’s in love with Tim and Eric” she said, already trying to get out of this conversation. She didn’t want to be there.
“Oh, no” Sue said, shaking her head. “She’s in love with you two. She came out as a lesbian last year, said watching you helped her understand who she was. It was… a shock, for all of us.”
It took a minute for Tina to process what she had just listened to, but Bette reacted quickly.
“Tell her that we love her, please” she said, with the tone full of the tenderness she usually had when someone said something like that to them. Her voice got immediately rougher when she added: “and I sure hope you were nicer to her than you were to Tina when she was younger.”
“Of course I was, she’s my daughter” Sue said, defensively. “In fact, I’m here because she’s starting college soon.”
“Well, congrats” Tina said. “On having such a wonderful daughter. And on getting better as a person. We all learned something, then. It was nice to see you again”, she concluded, taking the cart and already starting to walk away.
She was already halfway through the aisle when Sue called her name again.
“Wait! Tina!”
She turned around to see the woman walking faster, trying to reach them again.
“Could you sign something for her? She would really love it, and it would mean the world to her.”
An hour later, while they were arranging everything they bought in her Aunts’ fridge, Bette noticed that her girlfriend was unusually quiet.
“Everything’s good?” she asked, knowing very well that going back home and having so many meetings with her past was something that could take a toll on Tina.
“Yeah, sure” the blonde affirmed. “I’m just thinking, you know…” she paused for a second, collecting her thoughts. “Can you believe freaking Sue Jackson was able to just accept her child and Robert and Louisa couldn’t? She said, ‘of course, she’s my daughter’. It’s really as simple as that. Even for someone who used to be such an asshole.”
Bette closed the door of the fridge smoothly, before reaching for her girlfriend and wrapping her in her arms.
“She was an asshole when she was young” the brunette said. “Maybe loving her own kid changed her. As it should be. Robert and Louisa are just awful people, I’m sorry you had to live with them for so many years.”
Tina nodded against her chest, deep in thought.
“Yeah, I know.”
A couple of seconds passed by before the blonde asked:
“Do you think having a show like ours back then would’ve made a difference? Having an out and proud lesbian couple, do you think it would’ve changed something?”
“I don’t know, baby” Bette said sincerely, caressing her hair. She left a little kiss on top of Tina’s hair, trying to convey all the love she felt for the woman in her arms. “Maybe, maybe not. But if we’re making a difference now, that’s all we could ask for, right?”
“Yeah” Tina nodded. “We have each other and we can help some little gays. That’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”